How to recognize SLI on dating sites?

[Guillaine]

I really hope you are not typing people based off of such trivial and non-type related things such as these.

They are broad brush strokes but they are related to type I find. There are patterns.

[timber]

If you have a young child it's hard to get out

True

[Guillaine]

True

But you're right, they are not fun and not as easy to gauge a person's type and vibe and character as in person

[timber]

But you're right, they are not fun and not as easy to gauge a person's type and vibe and character as in person

yeah that's why I don't use them. You have no control over the interaction and its frustrating to leave things to cybernetic words and the site's algorithms. Plus the whole profiling yourself is flawed.

[Bastard]

SLIs are only on dating sites if somebody is making them go there.

[schwiftyrickty]

My SLI-Te father was married to my SEE-Fi mother for over twenty years before they got divorced. My dad was immediately wanting to get on dating sites. He can't stand to be alone (he needs a huge amount of alone time, but to still feel like in the end he's not alone) and I think he was a lot more comfortable on there than actually trying to approach random women or go to bars. Then again, he is good with computers and even for an SLI he's absurdly introverted and shy. He's a 5w6 as well. Before you say he must be some N type, he is an extremely physical person. He can't stand a sit down job and he's been a carpenter for 30 some years. He's also very athletic in general.

Anyway. He was excited by the prospect but had no idea how to approach any one and couldn't think of a single thing to put on his profile and had like three pictures of himself. Most of the pictures were of him with his dogs and/or outdoors, usually both. His smile tends to look forced, he hates having his picture taken. He prefers to be behind the camera and loves taking pictures, especially of nature and the sky.

I actually wrote most of his profile for him and in fact I'm the one that composed the first message he sent to my now stepmother. My main advice being: Add a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces. (Boondocks?) I think my stepmom is probably SEI.

[Adam Strange]

My SLI-Te father was married to my SEE-Fi mother for over twenty years before they got divorced. My dad was immediately wanting to get on dating sites. He can't stand to be alone (he needs a huge amount of alone time, but to still feel like in the end he's not alone) and I think he was a lot more comfortable on there than actually trying to approach random women or go to bars. Then again, he is good with computers and even for an SLI he's absurdly introverted and shy. He's a 5w6 as well. Before you say he must be some N type, he is an extremely physical person. He can't stand a sit down job and he's been a carpenter for 30 some years. He's also very athletic in general.

Anyway. He was excited by the prospect but had no idea how to approach any one and couldn't think of a single thing to put on his profile and had like three pictures of himself. Most of the pictures were of him with his dogs and/or outdoors, usually both. His smile usually looks forced, he hates having his picture taken. He's usually behind the camera and loves taking pictures, especially of nature and the sky.

I actually wrote most of his profile for him and in fact I'm the one that composed the first message he sent to my now stepmother. My main advice being: Add a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces. (Boondocks?) I think my stepmom is probably SEI.

Damn. So the message you composed attracted an Ne-seeker?

[schwiftyrickty]

Damn. So the message you composed attracted an Ne-seeker?

Wowza I didn't even think about that. My stepmom and I get along extremely well too. And she knows now that I wrote the message lol.

[schwiftyrickty]

I would also like to know how to find female SLIs on dating websites. Or anywhere.

[Adam Strange]

I would also like to know how to find female SLIs on dating websites. Or anywhere.

Female SLI's are at home with their cats. Sometimes, they go to church. Other times, they go to a market that has clean, wholesome food. Less frequently, they go to nice clothing stores. Possibly by bus, possibly on foot.

Very, very rarely, with a window of about six months or a year, they will go out and volunteer for organizations that allow them to view the public from a safe distance. From this vantage point, they will choose a mate.

[Hope]

Damn. So the message you composed attracted an Ne-seeker?

Irl lol

[Hope]

Female SLI's are at home with their cats. Sometimes, they go to church. Other times, they go to a market that has clean, wholesome food. Less frequently, they go to nice clothing stores. Possibly by bus, possibly on foot.

Very, very rarely, with a window of about six months or a year, they will go out and volunteer for organizations that allow them to view the public from a safe distance. From this vantage point, they will choose a mate.

I met my actual hub at school. Church is another good place to find partner for an SLI woman.
Then, If I'm not wrong, I think Applejacks met her SLI hub in a dating site.

[schwiftyrickty]

Female SLI's are at home with their cats. Sometimes, they go to church. Other times, they go to a market that has clean, wholesome food. Less frequently, they go to nice clothing stores. Possibly by bus, possibly on foot.

Very, very rarely, with a window of about six months or a year, they will go out and volunteer for organizations that allow them to view the public from a safe distance. From this vantage point, they will choose a mate.

That actually sounds highly appealing minus the church and cats. Cats are okay but not great (dogs are cool) and church is awful but I wouldn't mind joining a choir. Does this mean SLI really is my dual? haha

[0i0]

every type that isn't a delta is just a traumatized delta, to some extent, from their point of view as far as I can tell. I think Arendee is a EIE and I sympathize greatly with that testimony youtube. the "anything I don't understand is illness" thing I think is misguided Si valuing. I think its a manifestation of "wing clipping." its a form of "compassion" that functions to master (i.e.: remake in its own image) the environment in a pernicious sense. there's a kind of primitive interception of the budding opportunity by way of de-legitimizing it at the root as some kind of incontrovertible defect or fruit from a poisoned tree so to speak. there's neither dogma or imagination to it, its always recourse to some pre-reflective "down-to-earth" conception of what should be the case. in this case "down to earth" is not common sense so much as it is an atrophied to the point of non existence view of man's spiritual capacity. I tend to think the reason Ne becomes valued in the turning of the socion is because these types are actually the least imaginative and its a kind of failsafe to try and kick start the process. in other words, Ne valuing is a symptom of spiritual exhaustion. when you consider all the wierd outside appropriations delta NFs try to bring in to revitalize their stagnant culture, it reads like a last ditch effort to infuse some kind of spirituality into already dead wood. if the dead wood could speak it would hate Arendee because he's still got some life left in him, and labeling it pathological is just a way to normalize (for them and theirs) the lack of said life. a way to come to terms with reality "as it is" by rationalizing the present lack of life as normal and therefore all anyone has a right to aspire to and be labelled "sane." these kinds of interventions would be appropriate if directed at a delta NF since it would be hyper aggressive for them, but not every NF is delta, so it once again becomes a harm causing projection to assume a person is just another unhealthy delta and not something else entirely. its this kind of misguided care that ultimately snuffs the fire out of everything in a haze of medicalization and institutionalization of anyone who doesn't conform to the comfortable range of expectation. deltas prefer their NFs peddle harmless snake oil like ear candles and they look on with a kind of bemused condescension, knowing its all harmless trifles. but as soon as anything becomes capable of actually changing anything it gets clamped down on hard as a threat to their peaceful status quo. its the difference between having childlike NFs and an actual Joan of Arc figure. they'd probably call her a traumatized delta too, because that's just what they label anything sufficiently challenging

This is a very interesting topic. Could you say a few examples to "(...)all the wierd outside appropriations delta NFs try to bring in to revitalize their stagnant culture(...)?"

In socionics, or any other fields. I'm trying to think about examples, but I'm not sure I have the necessary perspective of socionics knowledge.

This interests me because I have noticed more than once a tendency for a Beta-ish spiritual leader / guru / seer or the like to create a body of work, for an organization to be founded to support or further it, and for that organization to shift to a largely Delta makeup and viewpoint. I haven’t viewed this entirely pejoratively, although it’s been personally challenging because I have found barriers to accessing current and experiential aspects of those teachings. I have simply thought of it as who is working from personal Ni-driven visions versus who wants to organize around that to advocate for some idealized society.

Do you have examples about the guru/seer and the organization afterwards, and what factors made it more delta? We're probably talking about Christianity here too (I assume?). This is a really exciting topic.

[golden]

This is a very interesting topic. Could you say a few examples to "(...)all the wierd outside appropriations delta NFs try to bring in to revitalize their stagnant culture(...)?"

In socionics, or any other fields. I'm trying to think about examples, but I'm not sure I have the necessary perspective of socionics knowledge.

Do you have examples about the guru/seer and the organization afterwards, and what factors made it more delta? We're probably talking about Christianity here too (I assume?). This is a really exciting topic.

You keep wanting to discuss meaningful things on this forum, which is adorable but something I steer away from.

Speaking in generalities ...

Beta seems to generate some cult leader types, with charisma and original spiritual insight.

Delta is often self-improvement-oriented and looking to build a “better society.”

It’s not about Christianity, although I guess Jesus is a good example of a Beta teacher whose teachings got codified if not into Deltaness, at least into something quite unlike what he meant.

In Buddhism an example in the West is Trungpa Rinpoche, whom I consider Beta, and the “cult lite” group Shambhala that grew out of his teaching. Trungpa was a charismatic, self-destructive alcoholic on a power trip but did an amazing job presenting Buddhism to westerners without diluting it much. Shambhala, however, has long seemed Delta-ish.

As for what makes things Beta vs Delta, in Shambhala the project has always been one where people were out to be special in an aristocratic quadra way. Under Trungpa, they partied like crazy and read poetry deep into the night, and there was a lot of drama, and the power structure was very in your face. After Trungpa, they became very stuffy and seemingly harmonious and the power structure was more buried or unarticulated.

The best description of quadra progression imo is from Dolphin, who used to post here:

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ion-by-dolphin

[0i0]

You keep wanting to discuss meaningful things on this forum, which is adorable but something I steer away from.

Speaking in generalities ...

Beta seems to generate some cult leader types, with charisma and original spiritual insight.

Delta is often self-improvement-oriented and looking to build a “better society.”

It’s not about Christianity, although I guess Jesus is a good example of a Beta teacher whose teachings got codified if not into Deltaness, at least into something quite unlike what he meant.

In Buddhism an example in the West is Trungpa Rinpoche, whom I consider Beta, and the “cult lite” group Shambhala that grew out of his teaching. Trungpa was a charismatic, self-destructive alcoholic on a power trip but did an amazing job presenting Buddhism to westerners without diluting it much. Shambhala, however, has long seemed Delta-ish.

As for what makes things Beta vs Delta, in Shambhala the project has always been one where people were out to be special in an aristocratic quadra way. Under Trungpa, they partied like crazy and read poetry deep into the night, and there was a lot of drama, and the power structure was very in your face. After Trungpa, they became very stuffy and seemingly harmonious and the power structure was more buried or unarticulated.

The best description of quadra progression imo is from Dolphin, who used to post here:

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ion-by-dolphin

I got a feeling, as I was asking the question that it might be too personal, but I was really interested in the topic on a generalized level as well, based mostly on facts, without the personal touches (if this is even possible). I understand what you mean though, and will try to keep it in mind.

This was a super interesting read though, I will definitely look up Trungpa too, and all the shenanigans in the topic. You got me at drama and reading poetry late into the night. Thank you a lot for the answer, I appreciate it.

[golden]

I agree with your typings, and yes, using computers to date is age-related, but I still think SLE's will preferentially be outside doing stuff, rather than meeting online.

I also think DJ Arendee is SLE, and he uses public media like a champ.


FWIW, I think SLE's like stuff to happen right now.
I was dating (still going out as friends) an IEI-Fe, and she's perfect for an Air Force SLE-Ti buddy of mine. I called him to tell him I met a woman I think he'd like. He was sitting in a bar with some buds when I called. I told him about her, he asked where she lives, I said 200 miles away from him, but it would be worth the drive. (He's not tied to Detroit in any way.) He said, Great, He'll think about it.
I haven't heard from him since.
Now if she were sitting in that bar,......

Hey, this is a late comment, but SLE will travel to see a romantic interest. I think the issue here is he has no knowledge of this person and can’t picture how it might go or feel reasonably sure it would be a good match. You should figure out a way to get them together in person.

[vesstheastralsilky]

To all searching:

Why not heavily pursue some of your interests in public and see who you meet? Then again I met my fiance by being on social media a lot. I was just being myself, focusing on my interests and he reached out to me.

It also couldn't hurt going with who you feel naturally attracted to. Don't force yourself but see what connections happen most naturally. Theories and assumptions humans make are often wrong and not as well developed as our instincts when it comes to partnering.

Remember too the sad reality that it is human nature to tend to take our most compatible ones for granted. You might only realize someone was your dual long after the relationship drifts and they move on and you miss them now too much ...

[vesstheastralsilky]

I would expect an SLIs dating profile to be pretty factual and straightforward. I would think they use dating sites more than average if they are serious about finding a partner (e.g. marriage). The folks I type as SLI IRL are just mostly working, into occasional cooking or frisbee or church-going else wild bouts of amorality for the nonreligious. I would expect no quirky sentimental imagination evident in their profiles when it comes to interests. But the really active sports like kayaking or mountain climbing I associate with Betas. The LSIs I've known have also tried racquetball or working out ... Rather less adventurous than beta STs. Other possible hobbies they might list could involve technology or artisan crafts. (They dress with utmost simplicity, which makes the women often appear tomboyish). They might come off as being very happy, quiet, easygoing welladjusted people "just looking for a caring person and good times."