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Thread: What do SEEs find attractive/interesting about people?

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    Default What do SEEs find attractive/interesting about people?

    SEE seems to find many people attractive or interesting, but does not give it out whom they like and what qualities. when asked a question they don't know how to answer they make a joke about it(like LIE) or change the topic (like ESI) but I want to know, also it seems that even though they are comfortable with you and like being around you, they wait for someone to call and ask them out unless they are immediately available, as in the saying "out of sight, out of mind" seems to be about them!
    But they are such fun people honestly I have no idea how they ,with no effort, become the life of the party.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenJack View Post
    SEE seems to find many people attractive or interesting, but does not give it out whom they like and what qualities. when asked a question they don't know how to answer they make a joke about it(like LIE) or change the topic (like ESI) but I want to know, also it seems that even though they are comfortable with you and like being around you, they wait for someone to call and ask them out unless they are immediately available, as in the saying "out of sight, out of mind" seems to be about them!
    But they are such fun people honestly I have no idea how they ,with no effort, become the life of the party.
    My hubby is SEE and travels for work about every other week, and "out of sight, out of mind" is exactly what he's like when away. He'll forget to call me 3 or 4 days. Even when there are bad storms going on when he's gone, he won't usually call to check in.

    I don't like having to call him since he's the one away, and he's not alway available when I call [his bluetooth earpiece is practically superglued to his ear] so I just live with "if he calls I'll answer, if I'm not busy doing something else."

    He makes friendly with ANYONE, ANYWHERE. It's disconcerting how easy it is for him.

    We get along just fine and dandy when he's home. Now then, about changing conversation topics, yes, and also not being able to tell a story without twisting the details, leaving important details out, etc. It's funny all unto itself. Maddening at times too. Just answer something straight once a day! LOL

    His jokes are not very funny, usually, which makes them stupid-funny. I like throwing out quick-funny-retorts that always get him ROTFL.
    Last edited by crazymaisy; 02-06-2017 at 04:05 PM. Reason: changed 'quit' to 'quick' as I had meant initially.
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    maybe you played your hidden jack card that made esfp run away? play the immediately available card; they seem to be really sensitive to time btw imo (PS: SEEs seem constantly busying themselves with something or other they really don't seem to have much time at all)
    Last edited by Delilah; 02-06-2017 at 03:46 AM.

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    I don't really think that you can get a SEE's attention quickly unless you are in a special spotlight kind of position (like a keynote speaker) or are just insanely attractive. All the SEE's I am friends with have taken some time and multiple encounters with to endear to me. I have noticed SEE's generally want what is valuable, what they can not have, and what is "the best" (smartest).

    I have cultivated my relationships with them through poking tactics: I will walk up, make an observation (something clever if possible) or ask a question. Then as soon as they answer I will leave almost immediately or seem otherwise too busy to continue with them. I think SEE's are used to getting people's attention, and when they can't have yours it is intriguing to them. It is important not to seem rude, but don't be too available. This line of thinking has put multiple SEE friends on my radar, and now they try to call/invite/work with me on things. The truth is that I think this behavior is natural for ILI and it is really the only way to put an SEE on equal footing with you.

    I don't know if that answers your question, but essentially a quick and clever observation, followed by unavailability (lack of Fe probably helps here) has been a successful method for me to attain the attention of multiple SEEs i know, and fostered lasting relations with them.

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    Well SEEs usually like Ni, because they like to influence people and tell them what to do. And yeah, they usually like and chase after those who run away, because they're internally restless, and they're looking for someone, someone peaceful who can calm them down with Ni. They see running away as being overwhelmed by the situation, and they go after it, thinking that they will give them the secret of inner peace, inner-calmness that is Ni (not in a Si way).

    SEEs usually like IEIs, because they're thinking... "Now here's a weird and impractical person... and I can influence him/her and tell him/her what to do!". And IEIs are likely thinking, "This person is so cool! So unique and powerful! I wonder how I can be powerful like that? Please, tell me the secret of your strength."

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    Smarts
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    People who have their own sense of style, can stand up for themselves and actually do., make them feel like they are the most valuable thing as they can be insecure
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    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    Smarts
    I would agree with that -- but smarts that have some kind of practical value, and deliver visible results. Expertise you could say.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    I would agree with that -- but smarts that have some kind of practical value, and deliver visible results. Expertise you could say.
    Nah, just smarts. And sometimes the form frustrates them and pushes them away. My Ni appears as smarts, and my Fe rarely delivers visible results. Even Ti can be seen as attractive, but its just not compatible.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    Nah, just smarts. And sometimes the form frustrates them and pushes them away. My Ni appears as smarts, and my Fe rarely delivers visible results. Even Ti can be seen as attractive, but its just not compatible.
    Smarts alone ... depends on the individual worldview upbringing of the SEE and ILI interfacing I think. Practical would, in my opinion mean something they, the SEE, can understand and place value in when the ILI says the smart things. If the ILI can solve something, something that SEE seems to like to try to do themselves for others but not really be able to do easily ... the SEE likes the smarts of the ILI doing that for them super easily. Just one possible scenario from my experience with SEE's.
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    Perpetual change"


    Yes - The Yes Album - from "Perpetual Change" (written by Howe and Squire)

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazymaisy View Post
    Smarts alone ... depends on the individual worldview upbringing of the SEE and ILI interfacing I think. Practical would, in my opinion mean something they, the SEE, can understand and place value in when the ILI says the smart things. If the ILI can solve something, something that SEE seems to like to try to do themselves for others but not really be able to do easily ... the SEE likes the smarts of the ILI doing that for them super easily. Just one possible scenario from my experience with SEE's.
    I wasnt saying only smarts, but smarts without that Te flavoring is still found to be interesting. People often find their conflictors interesting or attractive at first. For what its worth, I believe the DS function is the one that really compels attraction and chemistry. The HA is more about compatibility. Semiduals are characterized as drawn to each other and constantly burning each other, Mirage that they agree but may never spark.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    I wasnt saying only smarts, but smarts without that Te flavoring is still found to be interesting. People often find their conflictors interesting or attractive at first.
    "Often" is a strong word.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    "Often" is a strong word.
    Yeah, often is a strong word there.

    People may be attracted to whomever for whatever reason, not just type related. Vi isn't a science and people get together for so many different attraction reasons initially, I bet.
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    "And one peculiar point I see,
    As one of the many ones of me.
    As truth is gathered, I rearrange,
    Inside out, outside in, inside out, outside in,
    Perpetual change"


    Yes - The Yes Album - from "Perpetual Change" (written by Howe and Squire)

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    Supposedly, based on the theory, they value Se, and Fi. Se being some kind of drive or ambition, and Fi being a where they prefer less quantity of more close relationships.

    I'm going to hazard a guess that they find people who go out of their way to help them attractive. That is generally something that works in most cases, so it should work here. At the very least, they'll notice that person. Alternatively, if they are working a group, they might find the person who is doing a good job attractive.
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    An optimist - does not get discouraged under any circumstances. Life upheavals and stressful events only toughen him and make more confident. He likes to laugh and entertain people. Enters contact with someone by involving him with a humorous remark. His humor is often sly and contain hints and double meanings. Easily enters into arguments and bets, especially if he is challenged. When arguing his points is often ironic, ridicules the views of his opponent. His irritability and hot temper may be unpleasant to others. However, he himself is not perceptive of this and believes that he is simply exchanging opinions.

    http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=LIE_Profile_by_Gulenko

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    Default What SEE seeks

    Quote Originally Posted by Zero View Post
    SEE seems to find many people attractive or interesting, but does not give it out whom they like and what qualities.
    I spent quite some time with an SEE friend one summer and on/off through out the years. Here's what I learned:

    - She likes "nerds" (her word choice) who are mildly athletic. (I like athletic men who are pragmatic in a sensory way. We had zero competition between us). She said to me once that she would prefer if the guy was nerdy but had a slight bad boy streak in him. Sort of like HA Se? I don't think her series of ILI BFs met that criteria.

    - Controlling in a relationship, which makes sense now that I understand socionics.

    - Into law of attraction and related topics. We spent extensive time talking about our experiences. However, it's not something she brought up on her own. A mutual friend told me about it. That's when I asked SEE. I'd never have guessed she was into anything remotely like that.

    - A huge fan of board games. She went to meetups for such stuff. That's where she met some of her nerdy relationship prospects. That wasn't my thing.

    - Loved theme parks. She had a seasons pass. She liked men who wanted to go with her.

    - Dated online a lot.

    - She kept getting into LDRs. She would drive a lot to the guy's city but she'd coax him into paying for her gas, toll, etc. Eventually, it became a habit for him to pay for everything travel related. Occasionally, he'd drive to hers.

    - Her relationships had a pattern: in the 2nd/3rd week of the "get to know you" phase, the guy would whisk her off on a vacation typically abroad to some other continent, but sometimes locally. This was the act that cemented her desire to take his interest seriously. They'd go away, get to know each other, travel, see new beautiful places, he'd see her in a bikini... I assume other stuff happened and eventually, two week later, they would come back to their homes.

    - She waited for quite a while before committing. But sex, traveling to his city, traveling together, staying over, even decorating his place all happened without commitment. That wouldn't work for me at all, but I'm sure she knew what she was doing.

    - She loved dressing up. It bothered her when she wanted to change into a nicer outfit but her ILI BF said, "babe you're beautiful as you are," took her out to lunch, then he couldn't stop glancing at random hot women passing by.

    - At some point, despite being conflictors, I began hitting her Ni-Ti spots without realizing it. She said to me, "if you were a guy, we'd totally be in a relationship." My reaction, "uh no, you talk way too much" but I didn't say anything. So I guess, she likes someone like me, but not me. Someone who shares my interests but is more gamma NT than me.

    - She definitely screened for income. We both did that. We had a few practical discussions on what happens when partners make X amount instead of Y and so forth.

    - She wanted someone she could trust with deeper secrets, the kind that she didn't tell pretty much anyone about.

    - Didn't drink. Didn't want a drinker.

    - She consistently dated men who were slightly younger than her.

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    @Audacious

    Omg! I can relate with your friend but some. Because I'm ILE+SEE combined

    [QUOTE]
    - She likes "nerds" (her word choice) who are mildly athletic.
    + i prefer nerds too. athletic would be hot..😋

    - Controlling in a relationship, which makes sense now that I understand socionics.
    + yes lol. But i always ends up in control or, maybe argue with co-alpha (ile traits)

    - Into law of attraction and related topics.
    + ah yeah. I've watched law of attraction video and been onto that before I went into Christianity

    - A huge fan of board games. She went to meetups for such stuff. That's where she met some of her nerdy relationship prospects. That wasn't my thing.
    + aw you gave me tips here xD but i used to play boardgames too and love to go meetups and find nerdy prospects as well.

    - Loved theme parks. She had a seasons pass. She liked men who wanted to go with her.
    + oh fuck. Me too. I swear. Plus i love it seeing my dates crying because they cannot take extreme rides xDD

    - Dated online a lot.
    + i have plans but, i stopped dating this season.

    - She kept getting into LDRs.
    + no problem with me, as long as it's not opposite part of the world

    - Her relationships had a pattern: in the 2nd/3rd week of the "get to know you" phase, the guy would whisk her off on a vacation
    + aw. Must go on a dating scene xD (nopes, not yet)

    - She waited for quite a while before committing. But sex, traveling to his city, traveling together, staying over, even decorating his place all happened without commitment.
    + same. i actually more on causal stuffs. That's why i make guys weirded out by our relationships. Because i am not that too formal.

    - She loved dressing up.
    + yes. Because life is about guys checking you out

    - At some point, despite being conflictors, I began hitting her Ni-Ti spots without realizing it. She said to me, "if you were a guy, we'd totally be in a relationship." My reaction, "uh no, you talk way too much"
    + probably that's just a mere expression of her friendly platonic love

    - She definitely screened for income.
    + i don't have problems telling my income

    - She wanted someone she could trust with deeper secrets, the kind that she didn't tell pretty much anyone about.
    + true tehe

    - Didn't drink. Didn't want a drinker.
    + i drink though. I want someone as well to happily drink with me

    - She consistently dated men who were slightly younger than her.
    + i have fetish with men younger than me though

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    Quote Originally Posted by idontgiveaf View Post
    @Audacious
    I'm ILE+SEE combined
    We don't have such thing
    Besides your post lacks in Ti, you can't be Ti creative

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    Quote Originally Posted by Audacious View Post

    - She waited for quite a while before committing. But sex, traveling to his city, traveling together, staying over, even decorating his place all happened without commitment. That wouldn't work for me at all, but I'm sure she knew what she was doing.
    I have a problem with these types of people. Are other gammas like this as well(in your experience)? I know an ESI who has commitment issues. I used to think it is more of an alpha thing to not care much about loyalty and commitment but I have seen SEEs and ESIs who regard to themselves as free.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zero View Post
    I have a problem with these types of people. Are other gammas like this as well(in your experience)? I know an ESI who has commitment issues. I used to think it is more of an alpha thing to not care much about loyalty and commitment but I have seen SEEs and ESIs who regard to themselves as free.
    Most of the ESI's that I know IRL are, if anything, too loyal. They stick with the program that they agreed to, long after someone else would have bailed. Stratiyevskaya basically said the same thing, but I've also observed this several times in real life.

    Personally, I tend to date on a completely non-serious level, and that can mean going out with several women concurrently, depending on who I've met recently. Probably for this reason, Stratiyevskaya or someone else called LIE's "inconstancy itself", but I am only inconstant until I decide to be constant to one woman, and then I'm completely faithful.

    I also believe that ESI's and LIE's tend to "lock on" to each other much faster than the dual pair SEE and ILI, but that's just a suspicion I have, based on my observations of my ILI friends.

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    Personally, I tend to date on a completely non-serious level, and that can mean going out with several women concurrently, depending on who I've met recently. Probably for this reason, Stratiyevskaya or someone else called LIE's "inconstancy itself"
    I am only inconstant until I decide to be constant to one woman, and then I'm completely faithful.
    Usually I don't call it dating while both parties know it is not serious and you're just spending time with them and it is comfortable for them as well, I might be too young to know exactly what I am like, but if I'm with someone, usually I don't have enough time or mind space to fit other people there as well. However the "free ESI" said the same thing you said. Maybe then it's a bit of a female vs male thing more than socionics.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zero View Post
    Usually I don't call it dating while both parties know it is not serious and you're just spending time with them and it is comfortable for them as well, I might be too young to know exactly what I am like, but if I'm with someone, usually I don't have enough time or mind space to fit other people there as well. However the "free ESI" said the same thing you said. Maybe then it's a bit of a female vs male thing more than socionics.
    It might be an age thing, too. I didn't do this when I was in my twenties. Now, I know who I am and what I like, and I usually can't get everything I want from one person or one date, so I do a lot of quality dates with quality women and just enjoy what I can of them while getting to know them better. I am looking for that one person who has most of what I want, but I haven't found her yet.

    Actually, I have found a woman whom I think I'd be happy with indefinitely and, normally, I'd be open to talk with her about her future long term plans, but she's too young for me. At least, I think she probably is and she thinks she definitely is (Lol), so I will keep dating non-seriously until I can find an older version of her.

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    my SEE aunt finds as interesting to get material profit from people

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zero View Post
    We don't have such thing
    Besides your post lacks in Ti, you can't be Ti creative
    Okay -_- but i don't believe it.

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    My cousin/roommate is SEE, and we were the best of friends growing up so maybe I can give a lil insight:

    She likes quiet, mysterious ppl who can talk. She’d much rather prefer to ask the questions although she can definitely make some pretty lengthy statements herself. She likes getting new insight on things but you’d kinda have to prove to her that you’re first and foremost cultured and “smart” upon first impression before accepting it. She’s business orientated and loves speculating on ideas that could make her more efficient in both home and work, but every so often her impulsiveness gets the best of her (meaning she likes to party and drink a lot and it gets in the way of her trying to achieve any long term goals). Its just like.....a hobby for her. A problematic hobby lol. She likes raunchy, sexual in your face humor and hates dry stuff like The Office.

    If youre not scared of sharing your goofy side, are bold/witty in your words, and are willing to commit (u cant say it though u have to show it) then +10. Even though she’s a full blown aggressor, she still wants to see evidence that you’re into her and are willing to take initiative first. She’s also not particularly picky when it comes to appearances or age for that matter (as long as u have a nice eyes, because “you can always change ur body, but never the eyes!”).

    Her basic interests are travelling, partying/anything social, couponing (which she stopped cuz it was too much work), finding deals, gaming (she’s not so much into fantasy but shooter/survival or building games), looking up life hack vids, and doing things for other ppl. Idk her interests can be kinda vague sometimes but she likes doing a lot physical things although she does have periodic moments of just lazing around all day. Also, she likes to drive frighteningly fast.

    Committment wise, she’s very loyal once she’s established a relationship with you. Like super loyal to the point where she has trouble cutting ppl off when she really needs to. Like yeah, she’ll cut them off eventually but it’d be ten times first before she finally makes the final snip— which in my eyes is so exhausting and time wasting and I tell her this but she still does it anyways lol. Great girl tho. Has trouble being herself in front of anyone but once she feels 100% comfortable and safe with you she’ll drop the professional act and start being more silly and snarky. She likes being useful and loves sharing info on places and things (ie best places to eat, where to find such and such, insights on why she thinks things function the way they do). Also really likes inventiveness/ingenuity— esp if it helps her life function easier
    “You are a little soul carrying around a corpse.”
    - Epictetus


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