How each type reacts to a crying friend/partner

[Saoirse]

SLI: Stop crying! Crying is useless. If you keep crying, I'm going to hang up.

LII: I want frozen yogurt. Let's go get frozen yogurt!

Lately I've cried a lot about my career, and there's not much constructive to say about my career anymore, so my mom and partner, on separate occasions, tried to just get me to stop crying, and the difference in their strategies amused me since it seems to come quite clearly from Te/Fi-valuing vs. Fe-valuing. I got annoyed at my mom (SLI), hung up on her, and kept crying on my own. My partner (LII) was successful in distracting me though. It was key to pretend that he wanted frozen yogurt instead of asking me if I wanted it.

For reference, I'm EII.

[nickelslick]

LII: Becomes frozen yogurt.

[Starvish]

Dunno my type, but I just hold the other person in a silent hug and let them cry it out on my shoulder.

[Hope]

When someone is crying I dont know what do. It depends on the person I guess, but often I dont do or say much. I mean, not much more than ask why they are crying and then talk about his/her problem to find a possible solution. If the person is not a friend I probably wont say anything more than ask if they are ok or if they need something. If the situation is extended more than few minutes I'd probably leave.

Edit. From irl experience with EII: My friend EII used to cry sometimes (not very frequent in front of me, she seemed ashamed of crying in front of me for some reason), one day we were at a party and she was with a couple of friends and I saw her outside sitting and crying, when she saw me arriving and walking to that area she immediately left the area entered the room. So weird, but I was kinda relieved because I didnt want to take care of it. I walked the opposite direction.

[Pookie]

Depends why they're crying and who they are.

Like if it's a good friend, and it's not stemming from grief, I wouldn't let them cry around me without being a dick to them. Negative reinforcement all the way. Histrionics is not a good behavior to support.

But if it's a stranger, sure, awwwwww are you ok? Let's get you away from crying in public.

[chrys]

Idk I just listen to what they say.

I don't really know how to empathize though, I just deal with things on my own.

[The Reality Denialist]

I prefer to solve stuff. Simple as that. Work with it for the better. Very constructive way of thinking unless the person is not up for that.

[niffer]

Just listen to, comfort them, and try to talk them through it LOL.

Wow, based on OP example, Fe polr and DS makes such a huge difference.

[Singu]

LOL I hope this thread isn't serious...

[schwiftyrickty]

I would act totally different depending on who it is and the situation I think. Like if it was someone who I've never seen cry before I would probably try to help but if it was someone who cries all the time I would be a little annoyed (especially if they claimed it was because of me) or I would totally ignore it. Or try to identify and solve the problem (usually doesn't go over well lol). My SEI ex used to cry a few times a week (that I know of). I got pretty desensitized to it after a while.

Or if it is someone who doesn't like attention and is probably embarrassed to cry, for example if it was a man crying, I would almost definitely pretend I didn't notice and carry on. But I would be nice to them after they seemed to calm down.

[Muddy]

[FDG]

Crying about career - I would try to change convo and make it less serious. Career comes and goes.

[idontgiveaf]

I react differently because i have multiple personality types.

These is how i react when someone is sad: (depends actually on who i talk with)
1. If it's a thinker type = that's okay, we're all gonna die anyways and none of these shit will matter. Just imagine you'll gonna die 1 hour later, will your problem still going to matter?
2. If it's a feeler type= *taps back* that's okayy.. (i don't say anything 😂😂 because i know feeler types are sensitive, so i just mostly listen to them.. Anyways, they just really want someone to listen to them..)

[Mallan]

I always just listen and let whoever is crying just vent their troubles. If they want to just cry instead, I will hold them tight if it's my significant other, best friend, or close friend. If it's any of my family, I act as a wall to just scream and cry at until they're done being emotional. I come from a family of cold logical people, so letting them vent and cry is the best solution. My mom even tells me that whenever she is sad, she says me and my INTp brother are great for whatever situation it is. For problem-solving and general advice, she goes to my brother. For venting and crying, she goes to me. She finds it oddly comforting when I don't say anything and let her unload.

[Exodus]

SLI: Stop crying! Crying is useless. If you keep crying, I'm going to hang up.

LII: I want frozen yogurt. Let's go get frozen yogurt!

Lately I've cried a lot about my career, and there's not much constructive to say about my career anymore, so my mom and partner, on separate occasions, tried to just get me to stop crying, and the difference in their strategies amused me since it seems to come quite clearly from Te/Fi-valuing vs. Fe-valuing. I got annoyed at my mom (SLI), hung up on her, and kept crying on my own. My partner (LII) was successful in distracting me though. It was key to pretend that he wanted frozen yogurt instead of asking me if I wanted it.

For reference, I'm EII.

This is a classic situation demanding the use of Fi.

A typical SLI response would be more like "ummm..." Your SLI example of a harsh response is more like an Se response. An Fi response would be to attempt to comfort or sympathize with the person, Fe would try to cheer them up. Most logical types wouldn't be comfortable comforting someone who is crying (obviously this depends on gender also).

[Aramas]

I haven't been around crying people that much.... TBH it's never happened. I've been around an angry friend recently -- so angry that he almost cried. I just kinda sat there and listened. Didn't know what to do other than that.

This is a classic situation demanding the use of Fi.

A typical SLI response would be more like "ummm..." Your SLI example of a harsh response is more like an Se response. An Fi response would be to attempt to comfort or sympathize with the person, Fe would try to cheer them up. Most logical types wouldn't be comfortable comforting someone who is crying (obviously this depends on gender also).

So how would a combination of Se and Fi respond, as in Gamma SFs?

[Exodus]

I haven't been around crying people that much.... TBH it's never happened. I've been around an angry friend recently -- so angry that he almost cried. I just kinda sat there and listened. Didn't know what to do other than that.



So how would a combination of Se and Fi respond, as in Gamma SFs?

Good question, they would likely respond with sympathy but could also take a more "tough love" approach (typically that would be when someone isn't crying though, or if decisive action was needed).

[Singu]

It depends on the fucking person and the situation. Why would people act so robotically.

[Skepsis]

Whatever the situation may call for. I may give the person a hug, sit and listen, give affirmations, give them a tissue, leave them alone. It all depends.

[Aramas]

Good question, they would likely respond with sympathy but could also take a more "tough love" approach (typically that would be when someone isn't crying though, or if decisive action was needed).

Can you make a list for the respective functions? Or at least explain perhaps how Alpha SFs differ?

[Minde]

I think a lot of how someone responds to high emotions (e.g. crying) can have to do with emotional intelligence and experience. I know T type people who are better at responding in emotional situations than some F type people, and it stems from their underlying character (other-concernedness, tenacity, etc.) and effort in educating themselves in how best to behave.

Socionics can be applicable, too, sure. And the intertype relationships probably play a role. Like a dual is going to naturally comfort differently than a mirror and definitely different than a conflictor. This doesn't have to do with just the knee-jerk reaction a type has, either, but can be based on the relationship dynamic.

For example, an LXE around a familiar EXI will probably be more attuned to Fi, and thus respond somewhat differently to a crying EXI than they would to, say, a crying SLE.

[Exodus]

Can you make a list for the respective functions? Or at least explain perhaps how Alpha SFs differ?

The ones I didn't mention would mostly seem irrelevant - like if you used Ne you would make a suggestion for how to solve whatever the problem was.

ESEs are generally more "aggressive" in how they try to cheer people up, SEIs would use more Fi and try to be more sensitive rather than changing the person's emotional state directly.

[moloko]

I’d offer em tissues and give hugs/pats

just let it all out brah

wouldnt rlly say much unless the other person wants to talk ab it

(typewise im ixfp)

[Hermit Soul]

SLI: Stop crying! Crying is useless. If you keep crying, I'm going to hang up.

LII: I want frozen yogurt. Let's go get frozen yogurt!

Lately I've cried a lot about my career, and there's not much constructive to say about my career anymore, so my mom and partner, on separate occasions, tried to just get me to stop crying, and the difference in their strategies amused me since it seems to come quite clearly from Te/Fi-valuing vs. Fe-valuing. I got annoyed at my mom (SLI), hung up on her, and kept crying on my own. My partner (LII) was successful in distracting me though. It was key to pretend that he wanted frozen yogurt instead of asking me if I wanted it.

For reference, I'm EII.

I'm on the autism spectrum, so I'm not the best at comforting people. If I see a friend/partner crying in front of me, on the inside, I'll feel really really bad for them, I'll be dying on the inside and I want to take on their pain if this is able to make them feel better. But on the outside, I'll feel so awkward I don't know how to react, and I ended up just offering them some tissues without saying anything.