Duals at a Distance

[JWC3]

...

[Jarno]

An ESTP friend of mine hates idealists.

But he has an INFP friend and they are really good friends. (but the INFP isn't the typical dreadlock hippy)

But to get on topic, it's normal to think your dual is nothing interesting. Often it's only when you start dating a dual that you'll start noticing the typical dual experience.

[Kritik]

It's also possible you are not ESTP

[JWC3]

It's also possible you are not ESTP

ESTp Actually but, yes i know this that's why i wrote (Supposedly) In parenthesis.

[Mattie]

I guess I'd first want to know what you mean by "psychologically distant," that term doesn't really make sense to me. I'm not sure about the whole duals being boring at first, because whenever I run into SiTe, there's instant chemistry and interest (provided they are reasonably attractive by my criteria). What's a little more accurate to me is just completely missing them often because of different interests, which doesn't provide much common ground.

[betterthan]

You are for sure an ESTp.

That's duality baby :wink:.

At first the introvert dual looks boring to the extrovert and the extrovert looks too good for the introvert. That melts away really quickly, you just need to start talking to them then you will realize how dope they are n_n.

Actually I tend to overlook ESTps & ScarletLux posted about that too, they recognize me first, but the ones I know have been slags so that's most likely not type related...

[Creepy-male]

I guess I'd first want to know what you mean by "psychologically distant," that term doesn't really make sense to me.

I think it's like how open the information exchange is between two people.

Take your mailman (if you have one). You acknowledge he exists, but never talk to him. That information pathway is a dry riverbed

Then, take your BFFFL, someone who knows what you eat on any given day and what time you get up in the morning (and not because he's a stalker). That's close psychological distance; we're talking fiber optic cables between your respective heads here.

Imagine a pipe. Diameter is proportional to closeness. It's growing through some sort of ether. Some relations will see that ether putting pressure on the pipe, preventing it from growing past a certain size. Some relations will start with a pretty big pipe. Some relations will see BURNING SULPHURIC ACID (actually I lied, it's just a viral culture) coursing through the pipe. Some relations will actually produce an analogy that actually makes sense!

Disclaimer: this is probably completely wrong.

[JWC3]

I think it's like how open the information exchange is between two people.

Take your mailman (if you have one). You acknowledge he exists, but never talk to him. That information pathway is a dry riverbed

Then, take your BFFFL, someone who knows what you eat on any given day and what time you get up in the morning (and not because he's a stalker). That's close psychological distance; we're talking fiber optic cables between your respective heads here.

Imagine a pipe. Diameter is proportional to closeness. It's growing through some sort of ether. Some relations will see that ether putting pressure on the pipe, preventing it from growing past a certain size. Some relations will start with a pretty big pipe. Some relations will see BURNING SULPHURIC ACID (actually I lied, it's just a viral culture) coursing through the pipe. Some relations will actually produce an analogy that actually makes sense!

Disclaimer: this is probably completely wrong.

100% right, except the pipe thing that's just confusing. The psychological distance thing is correct though.

[Mattie]

According to that, I guess I wouldn't type people who are psychologically distant from me so much, unless I get to know them where I'd have conversations and get a more accurate typing. I work at a Starbucks and see hundreds of people that I have a 1-minute or so relationship with per shift, and some SiTe might be in there, but people who are psychologically distant from me are uninteresting to me expect for the fact that they could live this really crazy life that I can make up in my head.

[Satan]

You are for sure an ESTp.

That's duality baby :wink:.

At first the introvert dual looks boring to the extrovert and the extrovert looks too good for the introvert. That melts away really quickly, you just need to start talking to them then you will realize how dope they are n_n.

Actually I tend to overlook ESTps & ScarletLux posted about that too, they recognize me first, but the ones I know have been slags so that's most likely not type related...

cos you're a premium cup of instant soup.

[sigma]

An ESTP friend of mine hates idealists.

I remember this talk with an SLE where I told her some ideas and she said I was misguided and unreal. She kept telling me to "get down from the high trees, get down to earth!".
I convinced her to let me explain my ideas in full, she listened and then she said something like. "damn, now I kinda wanna get up in the tree with you"

I guess IEI can explain idealism to SLE in a way that SLE can see it REAL.

I want to make this world a better place BUT I don't wanna do it by dressing up like a hippie and singing Hare Krishna or holding hands for world peace. I would like to focus on what works, get inspiration from people that DID change it, people that got results!

This cannot be seen very well from a far.

Without past dual experiences, a dual looks strange. Only in close interaction do you realize that that very different person is not your antagonist but your complement.

[sigma]

whenever I run into SiTe, there's instant chemistry and interest

I think this is because you UNDERSTAND your dual, because you can project a certain future, a certain type of interaction. This is not always available without prior experience with "their kind" or without some socionics knowledge.

[07490]

I remember this talk with an SLE where I told her some ideas and she said I was misguided and unreal. She kept telling me to "get down from the high trees, get down to earth!".
I convinced her to let me explain my ideas in full, she listened and then she said something like. "damn, now I kinda wanna get up in the tree with you"

I guess IEI can explain idealism to SLE in a way that SLE can see it REAL.

I want to make this world a better place BUT I don't wanna do it by dressing up like a hippie and singing Hare Krishna or holding hands for world peace. I would like to focus on what works, get inspiration from people that DID change it, people that got results!

This cannot be seen very well from a far.

Without past dual experiences, a dual looks strange. Only in close interaction do you realize that that very different person is not your antagonist but your complement.

I asked four INFp at work about what they think about Two ESTp that we also work with, They all think that they cannot see them being friends with them, The thing is tho, I've got the answer from a place that is well "in work" and it's retail, there is no time to develop relationship, the ESTp's pays no attention to the INFp's except for a one, and they work closely together. So I can see why the INFp are not attracted to the ESTp, plus the do not know anything about Socionic of course. In this case, most of the time Activity becomes your dual.

[sigma]

I asked four INFp at work about what they think about Two ESTp that we also work with, They all think that they cannot see them being friends with them,

What is to like in those bad mouthed, over the top show-offs?

The SLEs I knew I like in spite of disliking some aspects of their superficial image. It is the inner core that is yummy.

[07490]

What is to like in those bad mouthed, over the top show-offs?

The SLEs I knew I like in spite of disliking some aspects of their superficial image. It is the inner core that is yummy.

They are a very interesting breed.

[Mattie]

I think this is because you UNDERSTAND your dual, because you can project a certain future, a certain type of interaction. This is not always available without prior experience with "their kind" or without some socionics knowledge.

A couple of the interactions I thought about were before I got to know Socionics, or duality of any sort. And really, Socioncs only helps organize my observations, doesn't really create them.

[betterthan]

I think it's like how open the information exchange is between two people.

Take your mailman (if you have one). You acknowledge he exists, but never talk to him. That information pathway is a dry riverbed

Then, take your BFFFL, someone who knows what you eat on any given day and what time you get up in the morning (and not because he's a stalker). That's close psychological distance; we're talking fiber optic cables between your respective heads here.

Imagine a pipe. Diameter is proportional to closeness. It's growing through some sort of ether. Some relations will see that ether putting pressure on the pipe, preventing it from growing past a certain size. Some relations will start with a pretty big pipe. Some relations will see BURNING SULPHURIC ACID (actually I lied, it's just a viral culture) coursing through the pipe. Some relations will actually produce an analogy that actually makes sense!

Disclaimer: this is probably completely wrong.

Haha this is awesome! :tongue:

[Sol]

JWC3
Look at lists of famous people. Better only my list.

[Wynch]

My roomie from first year university was my dual (as it turned out). Our relationship started out on eggshells. Our first impressions were bad. I thought she was the idiot airhead from high school who only cares about her appearance and only went to university to get her Mrs. The first things I saw in her room were her indian princess bed, her full-length mirror and her exceptional quantity of hair-products, make-up and shoes.

She told me (later) that her first impression of me was that I was overwhelming, intimdatingly over-intellectual, that I had no care for myself and my space, and that I was way nerdy.

However, in the course of having to live together we became extremely close rather quickly. Based on first impressions, we probably never would have been friends. Instead we were way closer to each other than we'd ever been with other people. We taught each other a lot, valued things in each other that we never realized we missed in others. It's funny, we had a conversation once and we talked about how we opened each others' eyes to people we never would have thought about otherwise. She commented that she never would have thought to be friends with "nerdy" people before, but since meeting me she's realised that she actually really enjoys being around those people because she doesn't feel like she has to put on a facade or constantly mediate to keep the peace. She was always stressed out in high school because she was caught up in this competitive conflicting community of beauty queens and she didn't really like that. She loved being around me and my friends because we were simple and we just liked to enjoy ourselves.

Similarly, I never would have thought that anyone in her circle I could be friends with. They were like the anti-thesis of me in a way. However, I realized there was a lot beneath the surface that I wasn't paying attention to. My roomie was actually a very intelligent person, she just needed prompting sometimes to get the juices flowing. And she was so open and giving, not at all the elitist bitch I originally thought.

[JWC3]

JWC3
Look at lists of famous people. Better only my list.

What do you mean?

Also thanks every one for the insight, it is very helpful!

[Sol]

What do you mean?

You may see your duals at a distance, looking to famous people having dual type.

[Diaphanous]

The SLEs I knew I like in spite of disliking some aspects of their superficial image. It is the inner core that is yummy.

^ This.