Results 1 to 36 of 36

Thread: Romancing styles: aggressor females - why?

  1. #1
    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    the center of the universe
    Posts
    15,833
    Mentioned
    912 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default Romancing styles: aggressor females - why?

    @blackburry
    @squark
    @fairylights
    @jetcitywoman
    @dolphin
    @Allie


    i'm sure i'm forgetting some.

    do you identify with the aggressor descriptions? if so: why do you, you know, "aggress?" what motivates your behavior? what attracts you to Ni types?

    (i'm obviously examining my own behavior but i'll spare the details, at least for now)

  2. #2
    InvisibleJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Si vis pacem
    TIM
    para bellum
    Posts
    4,809
    Mentioned
    206 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default


  3. #3
    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    the center of the universe
    Posts
    15,833
    Mentioned
    912 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    care to elaborate jim? lol

  4. #4
    Robot Assassin Pa3s's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Germany
    TIM
    Ne-LII, 5w6
    Posts
    3,629
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    aggressors gonna agress
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

  5. #5
    InvisibleJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Si vis pacem
    TIM
    para bellum
    Posts
    4,809
    Mentioned
    206 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    care to elaborate jim? lol
    Nope :|

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    17,948
    Mentioned
    162 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pa3s View Post
    aggressors gonna agress
    Regress.

  7. #7
    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3,228
    Mentioned
    142 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Aggressors/Employers: SEE (ESFp) ESI (ISFj)

    These types, like the conquerors, express their sexuality openly. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece.
    yep. sounds about right.

  8. #8
    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    the center of the universe
    Posts
    15,833
    Mentioned
    912 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    BUT WHY

    why are you won over by indirect acts of submission? why do you want to break down someone's solid facade?

  9. #9
    fairylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    TIM
    EII 4w5
    Posts
    302
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    BUT WHY

    why are you won over by indirect acts of submission? why do you want to break down someone's solid facade?
    Partly because it's there and it makes me feel good to break it. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment, like "HA, I did that" where other people failed to do so.

    I should specify that I'm interested only when I sense that there's something worth exploring behind the facade and I want to see it. Not interested in breaking it down for its own sake.

    I can't say I agree 100% with just the general aggressor description, just parts of it.

    • no doubts about own interest in another person -- I tend to overthink initial interest.
    • not prone to hesitation about whether or not to reveal that interest -- I do actually like to get a better sense of whether or not it will be worthwhile.
    • focus is more on own interest than whether or not the other person might reciprocate -- Nope.
    • romantic interaction is more about "toughness" than "tenderness" -- I'd say it's a mixture of both. Bait and switch. I also like being tender for its own sake.
    • needs to feel some sense of "superiority" over the partner, but worthwhile only if the partner is seen as able to largely "keep up" -- This is very very very true of me.
    • this takes the form of power games, which others might regard as cruel or bitchy -- Perhaps. I like to feel that banter is a high stakes game when I'm flirting.
    • in the case of female Aggressors with male partners, the above tends to assume the characteristic of a woman expecting total devotion from the partner, rather than her being "bossy" -- This seems like a very normal expectation to me, aggressor or otherwise.
    • little inclination to externally admit not having been the one to end a relationship, unless if adopting a "who cares" front simultaneously -- Yes, yes, YES. Absolutely.


    I feel like I'm a blend of the aggressor/victim styles, to be honest.

  10. #10
    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3,228
    Mentioned
    142 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I dunno.
    I've always been this way.
    I thought everyone did it the same until I realized they don't.

  11. #11
    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    the center of the universe
    Posts
    15,833
    Mentioned
    912 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    I dunno.
    I've always been this way.
    I thought everyone did it the same until I realized they don't.
    i always thought caregiver/infantile was more normal and that i was weird for a girl.
    i still think i'm weird for a girl. but my venus is in aries. ^_^

  12. #12
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    17,948
    Mentioned
    162 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    You're like a cosmic dancer, lungs.

  13. #13
    fairylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    TIM
    EII 4w5
    Posts
    302
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My Venus is in Scorpio. Grr.

  14. #14
    InvisibleJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Si vis pacem
    TIM
    para bellum
    Posts
    4,809
    Mentioned
    206 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Omg, my horoscope is amazing (take my word for it). Do you want to see my spaceship?

  15. #15
    c esi-se 6w7 spsx ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    the center of the universe
    Posts
    15,833
    Mentioned
    912 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    pf as if socionics has any more validity.

  16. #16
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    17,948
    Mentioned
    162 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    pf as if socionics has any more validity.
    I think linking Socionics with astrology isn't a wise move.

    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    Do you want to see my spaceship?
    Gammas and their spaceships...

  17. #17
    InvisibleJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Si vis pacem
    TIM
    para bellum
    Posts
    4,809
    Mentioned
    206 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Absurd View Post
    Gammas and their spaceships...

  18. #18
    Hot Scalding Gayser's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    The evolved form of Warm Soapy Water
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    14,902
    Mentioned
    661 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Girls are weird. One minute they will accept and love your insecurities the next they will want u to be a tough alpha male that isn't afraid of anything at all. Women are just born crazy, the female orgasm is erratic as Hitta would say. No wonder they dig the crazies that cut up little animals eh?

  19. #19
    A dusty and dreadful charade. Scapegrace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    TIM
    ill
    Posts
    3,070
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I do, I do.

    Socionics identity crisis.
    "[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan

    Brought to you by socionix.com

  20. #20
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Bay Area, Ca.
    TIM
    ISTP Se-LSI 6w5cp sx
    Posts
    687
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    Girls are weird. One minute they will accept and love your insecurities the next they will want u to be a tough alpha male that isn't afraid of anything at all. Women are just born crazy, the female orgasm is erratic as Hitta would say. No wonder they dig the crazies that cut up little animals eh?
    Nah, not really. My S.O. can't really show a lot of insecurities at all. But other people can.....friends. And, no, i don't dig crazies that cut up little animals anymore. Those were the days.... the 80s and 90s.
    I think a lot of men dig crazy fucking chicks too.....they must.... since women are born crazy. (I don't really believe either gender is crazier.... I think humans are crazy in general, tbth.)

  21. #21

    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    41
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    .
    Last edited by Zenoa; 06-05-2013 at 02:26 AM.

  22. #22
    bye now
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,888
    Mentioned
    36 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It's kind of hard to take this seriously when the female drill sergeants here in basic are fucking crazy and pretty much LSEs. The guys are a lot nicer. The black lady drill sargeant is the worst and she's always in PMS mode, pre-emptively. They make SEE and ESI look like puppies and they aren't Ni/Se valuing. Not to mention that the SLE I lived with had a reputation for being really nice.

    But...aggressor here just means assertive, right? Cause that might make a lot more sense for me or something.

  23. #23
    Local Hero Saberstorm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Isle of Man
    TIM
    Robespierre
    Posts
    2,125
    Mentioned
    68 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tackk View Post
    It's kind of hard to take this seriously when the female drill sergeants here in basic are fucking crazy and pretty much LSEs. The guys are a lot nicer. The black lady drill sargeant is the worst and she's always in PMS mode, pre-emptively. They make SEE and ESI look like puppies and they aren't Ni/Se valuing. Not to mention that the SLE I lived with had a reputation for being really nice.

    But...aggressor here just means assertive, right? Cause that might make a lot more sense for me or something.
    People misunderstand creative Si: Si in Socionics is called judiciousness. What exactly is that? Judicious is defined as a system of psychological reward orientated towards giving others pleasure. (This is in Renin's book.) Some people give rewards easily and spoil people. The creative Si of the LSE takes the form of refusing to give pleasure to others except as a tool of control. The LSE drill sergeant is tight with giving rewards. She gives rewards only for the performance she desires. The creative Si of the LSE also takes the form of seeking resources for family members, but not employees or subordinates unless they work for it.

    That is not Se which is defined as a Resolute: This is a person with a system of psychological reward which is resolute to seize pleasure. The aggressor is resolute to receive pleasure from her man and chases him down. They do not give pleasure, they seize it.
     
    God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
    - John Piper


    Socionics -
    the16types.info

  24. #24
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Bay Area, Ca.
    TIM
    ISTP Se-LSI 6w5cp sx
    Posts
    687
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    Se egos want a challenge. What about a flaky Ni ego person who contemplates leaving, or isn't dedicated/committed to the relationship? Great. More challenge for Se to prove themselves to keep them around. More games they'll have to win, more work they'll put forth, all to validate that they are strong enough and worthy enough to keep the Ni ego by their side. From my perspective, the Ni submission provides internal validation to Se that they're worth something.
    I think irl, it's easier to say that without Te/Fi, my life was falling down a hole. I needed Te balance to help me to see long-term goals and strategies and create career paths, and I needed Te/Fi to help me to judge situations and people effectively enough to steer myself. I've gone through periods where I despised Te and Fi, but in the long-term, it was what I needed in order to grow into a place where I could manage my life. I've got enough Ni to get by. I find that if I'm submitting to anything in this scenario, it's Te and Fi. I do like challenges, but I've moved to a point where Se doesn't dictate my actions as much. That's basically going down a rabbithole.....

    I like Ni-egos as friends many times. I find them interesting. I actually like any type of N as a friend, because they are different/unique enough to me to keep my interest. I wouldn't say that I'm any more of a submitter to N friends than S. I give a lot of compliments to my friends, because I like them, and I find that it balances the insensitive remarks I may make. I choose my friends many times based on their values or principles, what they can add to the relationship, and commonalities.

  25. #25
    bye now
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,888
    Mentioned
    36 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saberstorm View Post
    People misunderstand creative Si: Si in Socionics is called judiciousness. What exactly is that? Judicious is defined as a system of psychological reward orientated towards giving others pleasure. (This is in Renin's book.) Some people give rewards easily and spoil people. The creative Si of the LSE takes the form of refusing to give pleasure to others except as a tool of control. The LSE drill sergeant is tight with giving rewards. She gives rewards only for the performance she desires. The creative Si of the LSE also takes the form of seeking resources for family members, but not employees or subordinates unless they work for it.

    That is not Se which is defined as a Resolute: This is a person with a system of psychological reward which is resolute to seize pleasure. The aggressor is resolute to receive pleasure from her man and chases him down. They do not give pleasure, they seize it.
    I'm not sure I completely understand, but interesting.

  26. #26
    chriscorey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    5,486
    Mentioned
    133 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I’m not really sure what my deal is or why I am the way I am. I would say I’m, errr, competitive, but not in the traditional sense …I remember my female friends competing with each-other for certain guys and I just never had any interest there. I would prefer to compete WITH the guy.

    I’ve always liked Angelina Jolie. When Angelina Jolie was asked if she'd like to play a Bond girl she replied: “No, I’m not comfortable with that, but I would like to play Bond.” ^^

    I’ve never particularly cared for this movie, but I have always had a fetish for the action/fighting scenes in it. I think I like watching Brad Pitt get pwnd for the most part.



    The mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by practice

    -Krishna

  27. #27
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Bay Area, Ca.
    TIM
    ISTP Se-LSI 6w5cp sx
    Posts
    687
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    I’m not really sure what my deal is or why I am the way I am. I would say I’m, errr, competitive, but not in the traditional sense …I remember my female friends competing with each-other for certain guys and I just never had any interest there. I would prefer to compete WITH the guy.
    Yea, I'm like that too. I like to compete in scenarios where the reward is that I won an intellectual battle or game based on skill.
    If a guy has girls fighting over him, I think that's kinda ho-ish/pimp trailer trash shit.. I'll just bail out.

  28. #28
    chriscorey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    5,486
    Mentioned
    133 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jet city woman View Post
    Yea, I'm like that too. I like to compete in scenarios where the reward is that I won an intellectual battle or game based on skill.
    If a guy has girls fighting over him, I think that's kinda ho-ish/pimp trailer trash shit.. I'll just bail out.
    Lol so judgy; what’s wrong with trailer people? You sound like my dad. He refused to let me visit friends if they lived in a trailer or an apartment.

    Anyway, yeah, I don’t bail out; I just lose interest. In high school I liked a guy that went to a different high school. He was a derp captain of the football team overachiever type guy. He had various girls that wanted to date him and I lived fairly far away from him. I liked him because he was a writer, but he tried pitting me against the other girls, so I told him it’s better if we’re just friends. The girl he ended up dating turned out to be a crazy stalker. I said “Haha!” We’re still friends today, but he’s Mr. Fancy Pants lawyer now, so we don’t talk much because he's a workaholic.

    It’s a respect thing, right?
    The mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by practice

    -Krishna

  29. #29
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Bay Area, Ca.
    TIM
    ISTP Se-LSI 6w5cp sx
    Posts
    687
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    Lol so judgy; what’s wrong with trailer people? You sound like my dad. He refused to let me visit friends if they lived in a trailer or an apartment.
    Lol, well, I think I ascribe certain behaviors with certain categories. Yes, I'm judging it but not necessarily with a negative connotation. It's just not an activity I find satisfactory.
    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    Anyway, yeah, I don’t bail out; I just lose interest. In high school I liked a guy that went to a different high school. He was a derp captain of the football team overachiever type guy. He had various girls that wanted to date him and I lived fairly far away from him. I liked him because he was a writer, but he tried pitting me against the other girls, so I told him it’s better if we’re just friends. The girl he ended up dating turned out to be a crazy stalker. I said “Haha!” We’re still friends today, but he’s Mr. Fancy Pants lawyer now, so we don’t talk much because he's a workaholic.

    It’s a respect thing, right?
    What do you mean by "it's a respect thing"? I don't think I quite understand the meaning.

  30. #30
    chriscorey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    5,486
    Mentioned
    133 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jet city woman View Post
    Lol, well, I think I ascribe certain behaviors with certain categories. Yes, I'm judging it but not necessarily with a negative connotation. It's just not an activity I find satisfactory.


    What do you mean by "it's a respect thing"? I don't think I quite understand the meaning.
    Hush! You really are my dad! He slaps me on the back of the head if I say "thing" and then he says "use your brain lazy kid" just kidding

    I mean, you demand respect and value yourself.
    The mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by practice

    -Krishna

  31. #31
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Bay Area, Ca.
    TIM
    ISTP Se-LSI 6w5cp sx
    Posts
    687
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    Hush! You really are my dad! He slaps me on the back of the head if I say "thing" and then he says "use your brain lazy kid" just kidding

    I mean, you demand respect and value yourself.
    Cute girls are not smart. Dumb down a bit or you're getting grounded.

  32. #32
    chriscorey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    5,486
    Mentioned
    133 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jet city woman View Post
    Cute girls are not smart. Dumb down a bit or you're getting grounded.
    The mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by practice

    -Krishna

  33. #33
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    North Italy
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    16,806
    Mentioned
    245 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post

    Only Ni egos present enough chase for an Se ego. I had an Se friend use a metaphor for something else once, but I'll share the metaphor: "Nobody ever plays an easy video game again. If you beat the game in 30 minutes, you never want to play again, because it's boring. But if you play a challenging game, you'll keep coming back to play more, even after you've beaten it."

    Se egos want a challenge. What about a flaky Ni ego person who contemplates leaving, or isn't dedicated/committed to the relationship? Great. More challenge for Se to prove themselves to keep them around. More games they'll have to win, more work they'll put forth, all to validate that they are strong enough and worthy enough to keep the Ni ego by their side. From my perspective, the Ni submission provides internal validation to Se that they're worth something.
    I don't know though, you need to be pretty skilled with ethical and sensory functions if you want to pull that flaky game with confidence? What if the other party just says "ok, screw you, bye"? I don't know if I do it unconsciously, but I think I would generally be unable to (in romantic relationships)
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  34. #34
    Kill4Me's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    TIM
    SLE-Ti 8w7 so/sp
    Posts
    2,608
    Mentioned
    268 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    what’s wrong with trailer people?
    They smell.

  35. #35
    Park's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    East of the sun, west of the moon
    TIM
    SLI 1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    13,706
    Mentioned
    196 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    BUT WHY

    why are you won over by indirect acts of submission? why do you want to break down someone's solid facade?
    because she CAN.

    Quote Originally Posted by truck View Post
    Girls are weird. One minute they will accept and love your insecurities the next they will want u to be a tough alpha male that isn't afraid of anything at all. Women are just born crazy, the female orgasm is erratic as Hitta would say. No wonder they dig the crazies that cut up little animals eh?
    Hahahaha.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

  36. #36
    Blaze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,714
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    i always thought caregiver/infantile was more normal and that i was weird for a girl.
    i still think i'm weird for a girl. but my venus is in aries. ^_^

    Funny. I always thought that aggressor-victim is more normal.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •