Is this contrary? Quasi-identical?

[velveteen]

hey guys. pls halp.

my colleague is not fond of me. I think it's because I am a loud mouth with 0 filter. everyone must hear of my opinions and experiences lol. I find her very self-righteous, condescending and hypocritical and don't understand her reason for disliking me, because she's friends with people who have similar views as myself and are even more open about their views.

I believe in self improvement, I believe in accomodating to people's personalities to some degree. She believes people never change. She doesn't value my opinions so I never bother expressing myself to her anymore or giving advice. You need to do things her way, understand in the way she does or you're weird.

anyway her reasoning for not liking me is pretty irrational, she'll make excuses without really asking me questions or trying to get to know me so it makes me wonder what value of hers I'm stomping on. She'll go on and on about how different we are, when she actually knows nothing about me. She reckons I look too deep into simple things. When I talk, she judges me, when I try to make friends she stomps on my initiative. She's unnecessarily aggressive and dominant, has no problem with anyone's opinion but mine. Talks behind my back, makes passive aggressive comments to my face without really understanding the basis of what I am saying. I thought she was an idiot for a while because her retaliations had 0 to do with the point I was trying to get across, but I think she's just projecting or something.

Anyway she punished me, by making me feel excluded, weird and horrible. Then I stopped talking to her and others altogether when I was in the same room as her because I thought if she was making me feel this way I must have made her feel the same. She suddenly started being friendly and including me. Her mentality is, you either agree with me or shut up. I'm sort of mortified and repulsed.

[Sol]

give videointerview of the both people and then there will be reasonable basis to assume IR

[Kernel]

Other things though do also suggest ESI, such as the belief that people never change (more common among Se than Ne,) the judgements, exclusion, and the aggression (Fi+Se ime.)

Hm I don't think this is enough to say she is ESI or any other type. I had a similar experience with an EIE, and she did all the four you metioned above. She communicated the same thing also "that people never change", she thought she saw the true nature of the person and from that point, she never change her perception of him/her.

@thelocust My experience with an EIE is very similar to the QI descriptions. When we talks, there is always an irritation below, and we both didn't accept the other's opinion which was the reason of us both going our own ways, without including the other in our life, or without getting close. I think Contrary can be more positive than QI because of the J/P dichotomy. And your post is like reading my own experience with EIE. But there is also the possibility that this is not related to intertype relations. Outside of socionics, she seems hard to deal with for anyone, if she really has the habit of enforcing her opinion on everyone.

[squark]

I deleted my entire post, because I'd rather not type by negative experiences. Can lead to some really bad habits imo/ime.

[Kernel]

I deleted my entire post, because I'd rather not type by negative experiences. Can lead to some really bad habits imo/ime.

Oh sorry, I kept the page open for so long.

And yeah that's true, I can see that.

[velveteen]

give videointerview of the both people and then there will be reasonable basis to assume IR

Lol Sol what do you think would happen if I asked someone volatile for a video interview because I need to figure out what’s up their butt?

[velveteen]

I deleted my entire post, because I'd rather not type by negative experiences. Can lead to some really bad habits imo/ime.

Yeah totally, I feel like I become almost obsessed with my bad experiences. Always need to find an answer, keeping digging deeper, no answer is ever good enough.

[velveteen]

@thelocust My experience with an EIE is very similar to the QI descriptions. When we talks, there is always an irritation below, and we both didn't accept the other's opinion which was the reason of us both going our own ways, without including the other in our life, or without getting close. I think Contrary can be more positive than QI because of the J/P dichotomy. And your post is like reading my own experience with EIE. But there is also the possibility that this is not related to intertype relations. Outside of socionics, she seems hard to deal with for anyone, if she really has the habit of enforcing her opinion on everyone.

She is very hard to deal with, but the way she targets people really bothers and concerns me. I have seen her help people, but the way she helps them is very relative to her own experience and understanding. When something doesn’t go her way she goes into fits of rage about how it doesn’t make sense.

My EIE friend actually attempted to give me perspective on the situation by telling me the girl’s background and how she grew up and while I appreciated her efforts, that’s not a reason to be a complete shit to someone because you think you know them. This girl I work with says she can read people well, I do believe she can read people’s emotions. But she has 0 appreciation for context or why people are the way they are. She’ll just act superior or bark at you for not aligning with her values because it doesn’t make sense apparently.

[Sol]

Lol Sol what do you think would happen if I asked someone volatile for a video interview because I need to figure out what’s up their butt?

your question needs videos of the both people to help you. as there are no methods to identify clearly IR based on the description of relations
you may offer the test to 2nd one or to type by other ways, in case normal typing materials are hard to give
there is nothing better in your situation. as to gather bs from incompetent noobs I suspect is not what you wanted

[velveteen]

your question needs videos of the both people to help you. as there are no methods to identify clearly IR based on the description of relations
you may offer the test to 2nd one or to type by other ways, in case normal typing materials are hard to give
there is nothing better in your situation. as to gather bs from incompetent noobs I suspect is not what you wanted

Hahahaha, well if it means anything she's tested INFP in MBTI but so have I, so I don't know how much that says about the situation.

She seems to value Fi A LOT.

Someone who barks at someone else for doing what they do clearly has some kind of complex which isn't necessarily type associated. I'm really repelled by how this person conducts herself. She goes on about how she respects people who assert themselves, but I don't think she knows the difference between confidence and bullying. Expecting people to approach life the way you do, live by your philosophy seems very unrealistic to me.

She's literally told me, in front of a whole crowd of colleagues that I need to seek professional help simply because she doesn't understand my point of view.

She thinks I'm really judgemental, only because every time she's presented me with a situation I have given her a conclusive answer. She's like "you can't just assume that" but surprise, surprise, I turned out to be right about the situation. I don't think she realises I'm not judging people, but their circumstances. So she takes my observations as personal attacks against identity. I've expressed to her that I agree that people have the right to their identity, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with what they are saying or condone it, especially when there is information and evidence suggesting against what they're doing or theirs better ways to approach the situation.

If you left things up to her, the people in charge would be narcissistic assholes who have no idea what they're doing, but that's okay... because there's something she personally likes about them. How dare you question this vicious person's identity? How dare you be affected by them? I think it is very likely she is delta or a masochist.

[Sol]

Hahahaha, well if it means anything she's tested INFP in MBTI but so have I, so I don't know how much that says about the situation.

You may assume a dichotomy test gives 3/4 correct dichotomies. If you are sure in your type (you mb ENFP, INFP or other), then try to understand her type. Start with the possibilities of IEI, EIE and 4 types differeing by a single dichotomy (EII, IEE, ILI, SEI).
For IR you may evaluate directly the chance - are they good or bad - by the degree of irrational friendly sympathy. The assume directly more about IR is doubtful, needs some experience at least.

> She seems to value Fi A LOT

think about her ego block functions. values is harder to understand directly

> Someone who barks at someone else for doing what they do clearly has some kind of complex which isn't necessarily type associated.

situations and the style of critique - significantly points on types. nonverbal of emotions is also different

> I'm really repelled by how this person conducts herself. She goes on about how she respects people who assert themselves, but I don't think she knows the difference between confidence and bullying.

you may have some different values and hence different quadras

> She's literally told me, in front of a whole crowd of colleagues that I need to seek professional help simply because she doesn't understand my point of view.

you may to have valued Ne

> She thinks I'm really judgemental, only because every time she's presented me with a situation I have given her a conclusive answer. She's like "you can't just assume that" but surprise, surprise, I turned out to be right about the situation.

while she may have no valued Ne

> So she takes my observations as personal attacks against identity. I've expressed to her that I agree that people have the right to their identity, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with what they are saying or condone it, especially when there is information and evidence suggesting against what they're doing or theirs better ways to approach the situation.

People mb wrong, mb alien to you in something. They may change behavior and thoughts to more correct and better fiting to the needs of them and/or of other ones. Open conflicts and disagreements is normal part of relations - they help people to adopt to each other and exchange by useful information to adopt to the world.
The opposite attitude as irrational philosophy about "holly identity" I met among liberal propaganda, which is strict individualistic and harmful for society and people, - breaks links between people, makes them weaker and seems has the aim to supress lower social classes by their inner abhesion, to make easier the control of them and acting against their interests. Between people links are established better where they are similar (in aims, life values, culture, etc) - so the task of a critique is to make links between people better by changing of their behavior to more fiting to you, to make people as more collective. It's to what liberal propaganda opposes, which popularizes unreasonable individualism.
I see that girl is under the influence of liberal propaganda. This makes harder to say the degree she is indoctrinated or where expresses inner psyche values. The younger she is, - the more possible external influence on what she says.

> If you left things up to her, the people in charge would be narcissistic assholes who have no idea what they're doing, but that's okay...

yep. liberalism is the philosophy of sociopaths, which are egocentric narcissistic assholes, impossible to love other ones and have no wish to care about others. society can't be strong where people think as "egocentric narcissistic assholes". people without being in strong society/collective are easier to be supressed and controled. it's why liberalism is forced by today medias. we live in times of anti-socialistic liberal reformation - life of the most people becomes worse for the interests of the minority which become relatively richer and get more of real power. it's all antidemocratic and antihumanistic. it's social ******ism where the minority expoitates the majority

> I think it is very likely she is delta or a masochist.

I saw similar ideas from EIE, for example. But her type mb anything. Without video just by what she said the type is not clear.