Physical Affection and the Valued Elements involved

[epheme]

I have noticed that 3 out of 4 of the ESEs that I know are very physically affectionate. They all give excellent hugs (a big deal imo), and are just very touchy in general. They have this sort of bear-hug warmth about them. Always have their arm around you when they sit with you, etc.


Obviously, physical affection is not exclusive to this type, but I was wondering if this is related to any valued elements or if this is just coincidence? Any feedback would be appreciated

[mikemex]

Si types are the most physically affectionate and Ni types, the least.

[Beautiful sky]

I grope regularly; does that count? LOL
kidding

Um, LSE are not touchy feelly people but they do love to hug; limited pda in this department LOL

I guess it would be good to interject where in here; like where in public, at home, in the bedroom, whatever.

I love love love to hug, kiss, touch gently on the arm, hold hands; I don't like to make others around me feel uncomfortable so I, myself, will refrain from public groping, but I do love to see lovers be lovey in public.

[Galen]

I find that XSXxs in general will more readily be the slap-happy kind, pats on the back or shoulder etc, especially the extroverts and XXFxs. I get that sort of behavior from XNXxs much less often. The Fe variants will undoubtably be more outwardly affected and wanting for hi-5s or a hug or whatever else works as a "proper" demonstration of inner sentiment.

[epheme]

I meant more in public. Like when you run into them, hangout with them or whatever. And I didn't mean exclusively in their romantic relationships, although I'm sure it would carry over to those relations also. I''ve never dated an ESE, but they act this way with me still.

[Korpsy Knievel]

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...-five-everyone

[epheme]

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...-five-everyone

Lol! Thanks for the link.

[SyrupDeGem]

I have come to the realization that i think of myself as more psychically affectionate than i actually am with most people. Because (maybe) of feeling connections with people on a deep level....., presuming i am showing this in some physical format.

With a partner though i am very tactile, even in public and i insist on that. Constantly holding hands, engaging eye contact...preserving some invisible barrier around us, keeping the rest of the world out. Always touching, perhaps to keep myself in the real. Hmm, quite protective, selfish even. Oh but that's when i am not daydreaming, or distracted by a shiny.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

i don't know. my mom said i was pretty touchy, but I think I'm kind of standoffish at times. Like Maritsa, I don't wanna hug the wrong person and get punched in the face but maybe that's what all those crabby angsty straight men need, for me to just walk up and hug them. <3

[jessica129]

Unless I'm sleeping with someone, I hate touching other people. I'm so awkward about it, you should see me when I have to hug people lol.

[mikemex]

It's about intensity, I guess. I'm very affectionate but touching is often so intense that it makes me feel awkward when I'm doing it. It has to be a truly close person for me to feel comfortable doing it.

[epheme]

It's about intensity, I guess. I'm very affectionate but touching is often so intense that it makes me feel awkward when I'm doing it. It has to be a truly close person for me to feel comfortable doing it.

Interesting. I love hugs. I actually feel more comfortable around someone if they hug/touch me and not the other way around, presuming they're not a total creeper.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

But we can be part-creeper?

that's good to know cuz it's a bit stressful being pretty and perfect 24/7 haha.

[epheme]

I find that XSXxs in general will more readily be the slap-happy kind, pats on the back or shoulder etc, especially the extroverts and XXFxs. I get that sort of behavior from XNXxs much less often. The Fe variants will undoubtably be more outwardly affected and wanting for hi-5s or a hug or whatever else works as a "proper" demonstration of inner sentiment.

By "Fe variants" do you mean Fe egos or those who value Fe? I ask because I know a SXE who also acts this way. Although, I would assume him to be SEE over SLE, and therefore not someone who values Fe.

[epheme]

@BulletsAndDoves
Oh, part creeper is fine....in fact, it's encouraged

Haha kidding

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

not even 1% creeper?!

[Gilly]

Si types are the most physically affectionate and Ni types, the least.

Disagree heartily

[Gilly]

The Fe variants will undoubtably be more outwardly affected and wanting for hi-5s or a hug or whatever else works as a "proper" demonstration of inner sentiment.

-_- Why do you think Fe is always about what's "proper?" Plz stop conflating so instinct with Fe, thx.

[willekeurig]

IME sensing types are both more inclined to & more natural about physical affection than intuitives.

Si creatives

[Galen]

-_- Why do you think Fe is always about what's "proper?" Plz stop conflating so instinct with Fe, thx.

I don't mean proper in the sense of socially acceptable behavior, rather as it refers to the individual's understanding of how these inner sentiments are best expressed and conveyed. I could have probably found a better word for that.

[mikemex]

Disagree heartily

It's pointless to arguee, those are just impressions. There aren't statistics anywhere.

[Beautiful sky]

Some people can't type if their life depended on it.

[Gilly]

IME sensing types are both more inclined to & more natural about physical affection than intuitives.

Si creatives

Arrrrgh disagree...

[willekeurig]

Arrrrgh disagree...

Well, the smoothness of someone's touch is a subjective perception. I tend to find S types, especially Si:s to be better at it.
According to my observations S types also use physical touch more than N types (generally speaking), though there are definitely some S types that rarely do it less (SLI) and some N:s that seem to be very much into it (EIE). I could also say that extroverts use it more confidently than introverts, feelers more confidently than thinkers, etc. I'm not saying that my social circles are a comprehensive sample, by any means, but this is how it seems to work. All ESEs and SEEs I know are much more physically affectionate than any LII or ILI I've ever encountered.

[Lotus]

i hug everyone goodbye. even people i have just met. sometimes it surprises to them, but they get used to it. they have to hug me everytime they leave.

the first and only time i met strrng in person, we were walking towards each other on a fairly sketchy street at night so i could walk him to my house. when i saw him i ran up and gave him a big hug like old friends.

sometimes i even hug my customers when they'd come into the bar. even the creepy old alcoholics that came in everyday and spoke in gibberish, it makes them feel good.

i'm constantly affectionate with my boyfriend. semi-affectionate with friends, since i have a boyfriend. i don't want to mix up boundaries. regardless, i make a lot of eye contact.

however, i've never been big on pda. i've always felt weird about kissing longer than socially romantically acceptable out in public. incidentally, the only times i've ever had sex in public were on christmas eve of 2011 and 2012. the first on the beach, early morning joggers and old people could see and i had to keep saying for him to stop. the second time was in my current bf's car because we arrived way too early for the viewing of Django Unchained. it was my idea the second time.

i hadn't realized the coincidence until just now.

[epheme]

@Allie
I'm the exact same way (not the sex thing, but the hug thing).

[mikemex]

A big cause for my SLEs divorce to his IEE ex was because she was very uncomfortable with physical affection. It made him feel depressed and rejected.

That's interesting. Can you share more?

[Gilly]

I don't mean proper in the sense of socially acceptable behavior, rather as it refers to the individual's understanding of how these inner sentiments are best expressed and conveyed. I could have probably found a better word for that.

Yeah that makes more sense I guess, like assuming inner sentiments should be shared/transmitted.

[Gilly]

Well, the smoothness of someone's touch is a subjective perception. I tend to find S types, especially Si:s to be better at it.
According to my observations S types also use physical touch more than N types (generally speaking), though there are definitely some S types that rarely do it less (SLI) and some N:s that seem to be very much into it (EIE). I could also say that extroverts use it more confidently than introverts, feelers more confidently than thinkers, etc. I'm not saying that my social circles are a comprehensive sample, by any means, but this is how it seems to work. All ESEs and SEEs I know are much more physically affectionate than any LII or ILI I've ever encountered.

I dunno, it seems to vary more on a case-by-case basis IMO; for example some Si egos are very eager to let you in to their physical bubble, while others don't want theirs popped. Some Ne egos are kind of touchy and shirk away from physical affection, while others like to be grounded and feel more present. Likewise some Ni egos are kind of averse to physical affection because they have a kind of pristine aura and it involves a kind of alteration in mental state that isn't always conducive to their current mental-emotional process, while others seek the effect of breaking through the shroud. And of course Se egos are kind of classically rock-like sometimes, just wanting to maintain their boundaries, while others they are jocular and physically playful, even tactfully invasive, lol.

[nifl]

touching in the usually understood 'affectionate' sense is primarily related to emotions and thus correlates mostly with F - hugging, back-patting, hand on the shoulder etc.
sensors behave more physically in general and thus do physical/tactile help more, manipulation of the skin/body, grooming, stimulation
extraverts have a higher intensity of communication and interaction, are less shy and thus less reluctant to stimulate response, so they are also touching more.
Si & Se valuers should be drawn to different types of touching/physical interaction. an IEI man i know tends to give hard back pats upon meeting and parting, even close to painful ; i've noticed an ILE woman giving friends massages for fun. etc.

[Sol]

S+F