id question

[ashlesha]

it occurred to me recently that i tend to see Fe polr as really cute and endearing. whereas Ni polr doesnt affect me that way -- i tend to see it as something understandable and not "bad" but more...neutral, i guess, as far as my emotional attitude towards it.

i remember old threads where IEIs were talking about how cute Fi polr is and i wonder if my attitude towards my dual's polr is atypical or if its explainable somehow.

this isnt the most important question, really, but i'm curious and really bored today.lol.

[Suz]

it occurred to me recently that i tend to see Fe polr as really cute and endearing. whereas Ni polr doesnt affect me that way -- i tend to see it as something understandable and not "bad" but more...neutral, i guess, as far as my emotional attitude towards it.

i remember old threads where IEIs were talking about how cute Fi polr is and i wonder if my attitude towards my dual's polr is atypical or if its explainable somehow.

this isnt the most important question, really, but i'm curious and really bored today.lol.

I'm telling you, you're IEE!!!

Or, you might be Ne-subtype EII. Though for me, Fe-POLR is really cute too and i'm Fi-subtype.

How does Ni-POLR manifest anyway?

[ashlesha]

I'm telling you, you're IEE!!!

Or, you might be Ne-subtype EII. Though for me, Fe-POLR is really cute too and i'm Fi-subtype.

How does Ni-POLR manifest anyway?

i cant split up the quotes cos i'm on my phone...ahhhhh

i thought an IEE typing could be a possible suggestion and i figured if it ended up happening it would probably be you i'm pretty sure about my type but a type questioning is a good way to enliven a dull morning, so, hell. haha.

i think Fe polr is cute cos its like...purer Te, or something.

i think i recognize Ni polr when i see it but its really difficult to explain. sort of like a focus on what is visible and concrete that neglects the underlying stuff that isn't as tangible...i feel like thats a shitty way of explaining it but i cant find the words. but then i always sort of feel like that when i try to explain elements cos its like theyre too broad for words or something. :/ or maybe i just think too much.

[Suz]

i cant split up the quotes cos i'm on my phone...ahhhhh

i thought an IEE typing could be a possible suggestion and i figured if it ended up happening it would probably be you i'm pretty sure about my type but a type questioning is a good way to enliven a dull morning, so, hell. haha.

u know it's cause i u...

i think Fe polr is cute cos its like...purer Te, or something.

yeah yeah!! i feel that too. I Te as well!

i think i recognize Ni polr when i see it but its really difficult to explain. sort of like a focus on what is visible and concrete that neglects the underlying stuff that isn't as tangible...i feel like thats a shitty way of explaining it but i cant find the words. but then i always sort of feel like that when i try to explain elements cos its like theyre too broad for words or something. :/ or maybe i just think too much.

I think i know exactly what you mean here re: Ni-POLR. And the inability to find words like the way you described happens to me a lot too.

[ashlesha]

so...i was thinking about how i was describing something "negative" like a polr and contemplating a positive reframe of it and i thought of something that is surely really obvious (but i feel like posting). just like how Fe polr is cute to me because its like purer Te (the opposite function), Ni polr doesnt bug me cos its purer Si.

so then i was thinking about how Si could be the opposite of "underlying, intangible" stuff and i was reminded of a time not long ago when i went to an LSE with a problem and they responded with something along the lines of, "whats done is done and can't be changed because it happened"...like its just the reality now and something about that is just so reassuring and brings me this feeling of peace. like its one of the best things a person can say. it brings me out of the loop of thinking "what if i had done X differently" or analyzing things that have no practical purpose to be analyzed so much and forces me to focus on what i CAN do.

so then i was thinking of how Se often gets described as sort of a reality-slap to Ni egos who live in their heads too much and that Si can play sort of a similar reality-slapping role as well for Ne egos.

anyway im working on a project that requires a lot of boring and repetitive data entry and this is what i was thinking about as my mind was drifting...lol. no idea if it actually makes sense.

EDIT: maybe the reality-slap i'm referring to is Te, not Si? please advise.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I don't think Fi polr is cute. It bothers me actually. Though I'm not mad at the person for having it. I mostly think that it's some sort of sad mental disorder that they can fix with some help.

Btw duals are naturally challenging. And they make you feel morally guilty for being yourself. But in all reality this is a good thing. Those exciting romantic feelings are more for what semi-duals are. Because duals are the real thing. It's perfect harmony, not perfect bliss. It's different. It's about raw balance. You have to really understand this. when you get high, you're bound to get low.... your identical, semi-dual and illusionary makes you go through those stages. but your dual is about raw physical connection, and it breaks through psychological barriers. duals help you get over yourself completely so you can just live a normal life and stop talking about your feelings on online message boards where nobody cares about.

That's the magic of duality: that there is no magic, it's like a counterspell of sorts. The fog lifts away and you're left dealing with the real life you can lead, not the one you thought you had. There is no frosting of bliss there is just who you're really meant to be with. It's anti-mind. Not mind.

Duals don't make you feel wonderful. Duals are more of a 'I didn't know what I had until you left me' type of thing. They are HARMONIZING/BALANCING not ENERGIZING. And so you frequently gloss over you duals. How are you so certain this person is your dual? He's probably another type. You find your dual by disconnecting completely from the human race and looking inward....

so maybe he's your dual and maybe he isn't, but a lot of people misunderstand duality and i have to scream at them like a narcissistic drag queen from new york until they get it right.

duals don't make you happy. they balance your own happiness that u achieved yourself. They also aren't particularly excited or invigorated about you either. Sean is definitely my dual but he also bores me to tears usually. though when im with him i know how centered i feel. and calm and physically present.

[pianosinger]

it occurred to me recently that i tend to see Fe polr as really cute and endearing.

Totally. This is one of the things that really endeared me to my ILI hubby. And something that he has in common with my dual.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

so then i was thinking about how Si could be the opposite of "underlying, intangible" stuff and i was reminded of a time not long ago when i went to an LSE with a problem and they responded with something along the lines of, "whats done is done and can't be changed because it happened"...like its just the reality now and something about that is just so reassuring and brings me this feeling of peace. like its one of the best things a person can say. it brings me out of the loop of thinking "what if i had done X differently" or analyzing things that have no practical purpose to be analyzed so much and forces me to focus on what i CAN do.

I know exactly what you mean. Can't help you with your question, though.

[ashlesha]

i've been noticing a lot lately people talking about how you usually dislike your duals or how its natural for duals to make you uncomfortable, or how their weak points are like glaring neon signs of patheticness to you, etc. etc...i just don't see it. i mean i dont really have evidence to argue otherwise. and i dont think duality is like Super Magic Always Happy Time. its just that all this stuff about duality being abrasive doesnt match my conception or experience at all.

[Suz]

oh the other thing that might help elucidate your mystery laghlagh is something ashton mentioned to me--that all Fi-valuing types tend to appear sort of Fe-POLR-ish at times just because we dont value Fe. I think there is some truth to that. So it could be more that you think the weak Fe is endearing whether it is from an LSE or SLI, rather than specifically Fe-POLR

[ashlesha]

um, my last post was in response to B+D. its just using my phone is so cumbersome that a couple other posts went through in the meantime. lol.

pianosinger and ryene: yay, relating.

[ashlesha]

oh the other thing that might help elucidate your mystery laghlagh is something ashton mentioned to me--that all Fi-valuing types tend to appear sort of Fe-POLR-ish at times just because we dont value Fe. I think there is some truth to that. So it could be more that you think the weak Fe is endearing whether it is from an LSE or SLI, rather than specifically Fe-POLR

thanks. hm, maybe. most of the LSEs ive known have been emotionally expressive compared to the XLIs, but in this sort of dorky way. but most of them have also been female, which probably makes a difference. the one male LSE ive known and typed irl was a lot more...stiff. subtype may have also played a role. idk.

i know that i've also played around with the idea of SLI for myself (though not very seriously) because conjuring an outward emotional response when i'm expected to can be so difficult and awkward for me.

[Aiss]

I suppose I can't argue, since I only described Ti-PoLR as endearing a few days ago.

For me, it's kind of like watching a child (thinking of my nephew at the moment, ok) build something from legos or put some jigsaw puzzles together. He is very stubborn about wanting to do it himself, but what he does is often pick up a random piece and try to fit it in every possible way. And won't listen if you try to tell him how to do it, in fact he'll get upset if someone insists. But I find I can still help him along very much - simply by picking a piece and handing it to him at the right moment. So he's trying to fit something which will fit. Remember, I'm speaking of a child and it's probably not type related in them, but Ti-PoLR/Te-HA reminds me of it.

Though now that you mentioned it, I see that the emphasis on Fi which comes with Ti-PoLR is something I appreciate more than focus on Te over Ti. The former is probably more important while the latter is cuter. If it makes sense.

[Azeroffs]

I find Ti-PoLR cute, but not so much Ne-polr.

Fe-polrs come off as deficient to me.. lol but in way I can relate to. They come off as more comfortable with that weakness though, so I can respect them for that. I feel obligated to adapt while it seems like they are fine not adapting. In reality, it probably just didn't cross their mind.

[ashlesha]

an even more random question that i'm curious about: i can understand why the ignoring function is called the "ignoring" function but i dont understand the reason for the demonstrative being called the "demonstrative?" it demonstrates...?

I suppose I can't argue, since I only described Ti-PoLR as endearing a few days ago.

For me, it's kind of like watching a child (thinking of my nephew at the moment, ok) build something from legos or put some jigsaw puzzles together. He is very stubborn about wanting to do it himself, but what he does is often pick up a random piece and try to fit it in every possible way. And won't listen if you try to tell him how to do it, in fact he'll get upset if someone insists. But I find I can still help him along very much - simply by picking a piece and handing it to him at the right moment. So he's trying to fit something which will fit. Remember, I'm speaking of a child and it's probably not type related in them, but Ti-PoLR/Te-HA reminds me of it.

ya, i remember your comment from a few days ago and it might have been part of what led to this line of thought for me.

i like your example... from it i can see how Ti polr could be seen as cute.

[717495]

What do you mean by Fe-PoLR being cute? I think I know what you mean, but I need you to elaborate.

[ashlesha]

I find Ti-PoLR cute, but not so much Ne-polr.

Fe-polrs come off as deficient to me.. lol but in way I can relate to. They come off as more comfortable with that weakness though, so I can respect them for that. I feel obligated to adapt while it seems like they are fine not adapting. In reality, it probably just didn't cross their mind.

so its similar for you as it is for me with 7th or 8th function polrs being cute. cool.

i also relate with what you say about respecting Fe polrs for feeling comfortable not adapting. i have felt similarly around Ti polrs. the fact that they dont even try at Ti seems like "genuine" to me or something in a way i admire.

[ashlesha]

What do you mean by Fe-PoLR being cute? I think I know what you mean, but I need you to elaborate.

i was going to try to explain but its another one of those things that is hard to put into words...aiss's example inspired me to try to come up with an analogy, but...blank. hmmm. i'm also worried about inadvertantly being offensive since i'd be describing a lack of something that roughly half the population values. lol.

in lieu of a decipherable explanation, here is a sort of brainstorm of what goes through my mind when i think about Fe polrs:

serious, literal, factual, easy to understand, no pressure, maybe a little awkward in a way that makes me want to pinch them, don't expect me to be fake, genuine, make me feel vibrant in my level of excitement compared to them, a stoicness that makes me feel comfortable opening up because i know i will be taken for my word instead of having what i say twisted to mean "what i really meant" or whatever.

i think that last part really nails it. here it is. Fe polr is cute mostly because theres a sort of something i associate with non-judgementalness associated with it. the literalness with which i'm perceived provides me with a level of freedom that makes me feel super comfortable. if that makes sense.

(fwiw, poli, i still dont know your type but i'm thinking ILI looks good on you. which actuallly makes sense in my head.)

[Suz]

i was going to try to explain but its another one of those things that is hard to put into words...aiss's example inspired me to try to come up with an analogy, but...blank. hmmm. i'm also worried about inadvertantly being offensive since i'd be describing a lack of something that roughly half the population values. lol.

in lieu of a decipherable explanation, here is a sort of brainstorm of what goes through my mind when i think about Fe polrs:

serious, literal, factual, easy to understand, no pressure, maybe a little awkward in a way that makes me want to pinch them, don't expect me to be fake, genuine, make me feel vibrant in my level of excitement compared to them, a stoicness that makes me feel comfortable opening up because i know i will be taken for my word instead of having what i say twisted to mean "what i really meant" or whatever.

i think that last part really nails it. here it is. Fe polr is cute mostly because theres a sort of something i associate with non-judgementalness associated with it. the literalness with which i'm perceived provides me with a level of freedom that makes me feel super comfortable. if that makes sense.

(fwiw, poli, i still dont know your type but i'm thinking ILI looks good on you. which actuallly makes sense in my head.)

[717495]

i was going to try to explain but its another one of those things that is hard to put into words...aiss's example inspired me to try to come up with an analogy, but...blank. hmmm. i'm also worried about inadvertantly being offensive since i'd be describing a lack of something that roughly half the population values. lol.

in lieu of a decipherable explanation, here is a sort of brainstorm of what goes through my mind when i think about Fe polrs:

serious, literal, factual, easy to understand, no pressure, maybe a little awkward in a way that makes me want to pinch them, don't expect me to be fake, genuine, make me feel vibrant in my level of excitement compared to them, a stoicness that makes me feel comfortable opening up because i know i will be taken for my word instead of having what i say twisted to mean "what i really meant" or whatever.

i think that last part really nails it. here it is. Fe polr is cute mostly because theres a sort of something i associate with non-judgementalness associated with it. the literalness with which i'm perceived provides me with a level of freedom that makes me feel super comfortable. if that makes sense.

Ah I see, yes that makes sense. Thank you for the explanation. I think some things are particularly true to a larger extent with certain types. As for xLIs, there does seem to be a great extent of seriousness and taking things literally and caringly pretty much all the time. I think with Fe-PoLR there is often this emptiness of expression or disassociation with the expressions and social dynamic of others, the stoicness that denies Fe and always keeps things serious, easy-mannered, and typically logical. The typical passions/feelings of xLIs seem now-and-then and aren't usually expressed, and when done so can seem "lame" emotionally to others who value Fe, that are often reminiscent of certain fantastical actions or things, like in secretly observing the images of music, someone or somethings personality, a deep relationship with someone they care about, or in a craftsman who builds etc, generally things that aren't very socially connected and require instead an inner thoughtful vision.

(fwiw, poli, i still dont know your type but i'm thinking ILI looks good on you. which actuallly makes sense in my head.)

Good, that's what I mostly typed myself before, and I think it makes the most sense. There are a few threads to explain why.

[pianosinger]

What do you mean by Fe-PoLR being cute? I think I know what you mean, but I need you to elaborate.

I'll try to answer this...My ILI tries so hard sometimes to be emotionally expressive, when he thinks it's expected of him. But it's obviously awkward for him, and he usually ends up saying or doing things in such a way that rather elicits a "huh?" from me. And then he gets flustered, and then I laugh and smile and reassure him.

He relies a lot on songs and poetry (I prefer the former) written by other people, to help him get his point across. He'll just come up to me sometimes and burst into random song, and it's cute

[pianosinger]

I suppose I can't argue, since I only described Ti-PoLR as endearing a few days ago.

For me, it's kind of like watching a child (thinking of my nephew at the moment, ok) build something from legos or put some jigsaw puzzles together. He is very stubborn about wanting to do it himself, but what he does is often pick up a random piece and try to fit it in every possible way. And won't listen if you try to tell him how to do it, in fact he'll get upset if someone insists. But I find I can still help him along very much - simply by picking a piece and handing it to him at the right moment. So he's trying to fit something which will fit. Remember, I'm speaking of a child and it's probably not type related in them, but Ti-PoLR/Te-HA reminds me of it.

Wow. Yep. This is me