Motivation

[Rubicon]

I'm not really sure which functions are usually related to innate willpower - maybe just rationals in general? - but anyway I've been thinking that every type probably has the ability to harness some sort of 'willpower' from their ego block regardless of whether or not they have that brute strength of will. It's something that I envy in others, because I don't possess much of it myself . But I can't accept that willpower is something I'm just never going to have. I think the ability to do pretty much whatever you want to do is in your ego block. For instance, I use Fe as my primary motivator. I find it easy to do things that involve helping other people - because not wanting to let them down/ wanting to please them is a strong motivator. This can extend to things I do for myself, because the people who care for me want me to succeed in what I do etc.. I used to fight this source of motivation because it felt kind of fake in a way, and weak - having to rely on other people to get you motivated. But I'm thinking now that I just have to accept that that's who I am, and use what I have. I use Si to a certain extent too - in terms of just doing things that are distasteful (after I've decided what I have to do to reach my goal) - just ignoring my feelings so to speak, and just doing what has to be done. This is not as effective in the long run I've found though, because I feel like I'm walking on eggshells - like a whim or change of wind direction will get me taking a completely opposite course of action. It's too stressful, because every day I get up and wonder whether I'm going to do what I'm supposed to. My mind doesn't feel in control of my body. So yeah - anyway, I've found Fe to be the most effective motivator for me.

Just wondering then - has anyone employed similar strategies in order to get themselves motivated?

[1981slater]

E's are more motivated than I's
j's are more motivated than p's
IJ's want the world to remain unchanged
The sky is blue and roses are red

[Rubicon]

[Joy]

I'm not really sure which functions are usually related to innate willpower - maybe just rationals in general? - but anyway I've been thinking that every type probably has the ability to harness some sort of 'willpower' from their ego block regardless of whether or not they have that brute strength of will. It's something that I envy in others, because I don't possess much of it myself . But I can't accept that willpower is something I'm just never going to have. I think the ability to do pretty much whatever you want to do is in your ego block. For instance, I use Fe as my primary motivator. I find it easy to do things that involve helping other people - because not wanting to let them down/ wanting to please them is a strong motivator. This can extend to things I do for myself, because the people who care for me want me to succeed in what I do etc.. I used to fight this source of motivation because it felt kind of fake in a way, and weak - having to rely on other people to get you motivated. But I'm thinking now that I just have to accept that that's who I am, and use what I have. I use Si to a certain extent too - in terms of just doing things that are distasteful (after I've decided what I have to do to reach my goal) - just ignoring my feelings so to speak, and just doing what has to be done. This is not as effective in the long run I've found though, because I feel like I'm walking on eggshells - like a whim or change of wind direction will get me taking a completely opposite course of action. It's too stressful, because every day I get up and wonder whether I'm going to do what I'm supposed to. My mind doesn't feel in control of my body. So yeah - anyway, I've found Fe to be the most effective motivator for me.

Just wondering then - has anyone employed similar strategies in order to get themselves motivated?

Be clear about what you want by allowing yourself to find centeredness and inner clarity. And remember that you're not "supposed to" want anything, even if you've wanted it in the past. Just allow yourself to BE, and do/think whatever it takes to feel good about where you're at right now.

The result will be centeredness and inner clarity, and when you have a decision to make, the right one will be so apparent that you may not even think of it as a decision. And when there's action required, it won't feel like work. These things will just feel like the next logical step.

And again, there's nothing wrong with wanting all kinds of different things... the more you want, the better, actually... Just make sure you're allowing yourself to receive the things you want (as described above).

[Sirena]

I love these pics! And I completely identify with what you're saying.

[Joy]

Also, don't ignore your feelings. Value them, all of them. Just like physical pain is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong, emotional pain, discomfort, or uneasiness is your way of telling yourself that something is wrong. You're either thinking, doing, or saying something that won't get you where you want to go.

When you feel good, it's your way of telling yourself that you're on the right track. For this reason, there's no need to apply deep analysis to the situation or stress out about decisions, big or small. Just remind yourself that nothing matters more than that you feel good (since that's how you know you're headed in the right direction).

Don't worry about the feelings or desires of other people. The best thing you can do for those around you is to allow yourself to be centered and feel good. This in itself may uplift them and encourage them by example to allow themselves to be centered and feel good. If not, there's nothing you could have done for them anyways. That's just where they are right now, and their negative emotions are of great value to them for the same reasons that yours are to you. Their emotions are telling them whether or not they are on the right course.

[Rubicon]

Be clear about what you want. And remember that you're not "supposed to" want anything, even if you've wanted it in the past. Just allow yourself to BE, and do/think whatever it takes to feel good about where you're at right now.

The result will be centeredness and inner clarity, and when you have a decision to make, the right one will be so apparent that you may not even think of it as a decision. And when there's action required, it won't feel like work. These things will just feel like the next logical step.

And again, there's nothing wrong with wanting all kinds of different things... the more you want, the better, actually... Just make sure you're allowing yourself to receive the things you want (as described above).

No offense - but telling an SEI to 'just be' has got to be the worst advice ever. To me, 'just being' connotes laziness, self-indulgence and inaction. And "do/think whatever it takes to feel good about where you're at right now"? Why should I feel good about myself if where I'm at right now isn't a good place? That would just be lying to myself and self-patronization. And if action didn't feel like work when it comes to things we really want, then why aren't all of us living our dreams?

Sorry, but this is just all too wishy-washy for me.

[Joy]

No offense - but telling an SEI to 'just be' has got to be the worst advice ever. To me, 'just being' connotes laziness, self-indulgence and inaction.

If it doesn't feel good, then you're not "just being".

And "do/think whatever it takes to feel good about where you're at right now"? Why should I feel good about myself if where I'm at right now isn't a good place?

If you're focused on where you're at now, that's what you'll get more of. This is the answer to your question below.

That would just be lying to myself and self-patronization.

There are far more aspects of reality than what you see in front of you, and it's your decision which of those aspects you're going to focus on. You'll know whether or not you're focusing on the ones that will get you where you want to go because if you're not, you'll feel off or uneasy or impatient or overwhelmed or... you get the idea.

And if action didn't feel like work when it comes to things we really want, then why aren't all of us living our dreams?

See answer above. Most people are focused on where they are right now. Even when their desires are the subject of their thought, they're more focused on the fact that they don't already have it than they are on the desire itself.

Sorry, but this is just all too wishy-washy for me.

I can accept that.

[Creepy-bg]

conflictors should not give advice...

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Rubicon]

why?

There's exceptions of course, but I think that generally good things have to be worked for. They don't just fall in your lap.

If it doesn't feel good, then you're not "just being".

But bad behaviour can feel good, hedonistic behaviour can feel good, and these are things you often end up doing by 'just being'.

There are far more aspects of reality than what you see in front of you, and it's your decision which of those aspects you're going to focus on. You'll know whether or not you're focusing on the ones that will get you where you want to go because if you're not, you'll feel off or uneasy or impatient or overwhelmed or... you get the idea.

I agree. My feelings always do a good job of telling me when I'm on the wrong track. That's not the problem. (If only it were that easy!) The thing is I can just ignore these feelings if I choose to, regardless of whether it's right or not, and then what are you going to say? I need strength of will!

Sorry to jump on you like this. I think BG's right though. I don't think conflictors are much good at giving advice to each other. I'm sure your advice would do wonders for other types, but ...

<3

[Joy]

There's exceptions of course, but I think that generally good things have to be worked for. They don't just fall in your lap.

I do believe that action is required. I just think that if it feels like you're struggling, you're on the wrong track.

But bad behaviour can feel good, hedonistic behaviour can feel good, and these are things you often end up doing by 'just being'.

I think we mean different things when use the term "just being".

I agree. My feelings always do a good job of telling me when I'm on the wrong track. That's not the problem. (If only it were that easy!) The thing is I can just ignore these feelings if I choose to, regardless of whether it's right or not, and then what are you going to say? I need strength of will!

Don't?

Sorry to jump on you like this. I think BG's right though. I don't think conflictors are much good at giving advice to each other. I'm sure your advice would do wonders for other types, but ...

Maybe so... the last time I got advice from a conflictor it was regarding how to go about settling an auto accident claim... let's just say it's a really good thing I didn't take his advice.

Anyways, I had considered this possibility, which is why I said "I can accept that".

<3

<3

[Rubicon]

Don't?

This is the best advice you've given so far. I'm going to take it to heart. <3

[Joy]

I was thinking of saying "trust yourself" but figured it sounded a bit too corny. Anyways, yes. Trust yourself and you'll get yourself pointed in the right direction.

[BLauritson]

There's exceptions of course, but I think that generally good things have to be worked for. They don't just fall in your lap.

Although I see what you're saying (and agree with it), I think the best thing that's ever come into my life (which was only recent) did so with very little effort on my part. I was just doing what I normally do and thus an unexpected (but definitely NOT unwelcome) change occurred. In an area of life which I have previously spent much time and energy struggling to absolutely no avail. Life is an interesting game...by the time you figure it out, chances are you'll be too old to do anything about it :cynical:

[aka-kitsune]

Joy, your responses in this thread have been very Zen/Tao. Have you been studying either of these systems at all?

Furthermore, I want you to know that I really have appreciated reading them because I currently find myself in straits, kind of a turning point, grappling with the same issues I have so many times in the past. A problem, basically, because I tend to think myself into a very small mental box, when faced with information that I interpret extremely negatively and react to in a failure cascade. (Ultimately, I think, being driven by fatalistic and clearly insufficient .)

Your input here has been kind of a confirmation of what I need to do. This time I'm determined to break the cycle and not allow my thinking to become trapped. I need to expand my perspective and be more aware when my thinking becomes subjectively influenced and shut down.

[redbaron]

Although I see what you're saying (and agree with it), I think the best thing that's ever come into my life (which was only recent) did so with very little effort on my part. I was just doing what I normally do and thus an unexpected (but definitely NOT unwelcome) change occurred.

same here.

Joy, have you been reading those laws of attraction books? your advice reminds me of that.

[redbaron]

because I tend to think myself into a very small mental box, when faced with information that I interpret extremely negatively and react to in a failure cascade. (Ultimately, I think, being driven by fatalistic and clearly insufficient .)

I do this too. More so in the past but it can still happen and I have to kinda wiggle myself out of that fatalistic box. it can definitely turn into a failure cascade. Well-put.

[aka-kitsune]

I do this too. More so in the past but it can still happen and I have to kinda wiggle myself out of that fatalistic box. it can definitely turn into a failure cascade. Well-put.

Very uncomfortable!

I can feel it starting and then it's just a matter of time. My mind takes that single thread, obsessing, and I can't focus on anything else. Gradually, it builds to a kind of din in my head, where I'm frantically struggling with the weight of crushing realization. Helpless, unable to change direction of my thoughts. Ultimately, the only thing that relieves the intense pressure is some kind of emotional release, usually venting: yelling, screaming, crying, bemoaning.

How do you wiggle out, redbaron..?

[FDG]

Although I see what you're saying (and agree with it), I think the best thing that's ever come into my life (which was only recent) did so with very little effort on my part. I was just doing what I normally do and thus an unexpected (but definitely NOT unwelcome) change occurred. In an area of life which I have previously spent much time and energy struggling to absolutely no avail. Life is an interesting game...by the time you figure it out, chances are you'll be too old to do anything about it :cynical:

I definitely agree with this.

[redbaron]

Very uncomfortable!

I can feel it starting and then it's just a matter of time. My mind takes that single thread, obsessing, and I can't focus on anything else. Gradually, it builds to a kind of din in my head, where I'm frantically struggling with the weight of crushing realization. Helpless, unable to change direction of my thoughts. Ultimately, the only thing that relieves the intense pressure is some kind of emotional release, usually venting: yelling, screaming, crying, bemoaning.

How do you wiggle out, redbaron..?

It helps to get up and get moving to get out of my head. I also try to use logic to free me from irrational conclusions. This only goes so far on my own but it helps to hear it from someone else so on occasion I'll email my INTj friend who is great at helping me put things in perspective. Joy's advice is good though--I mean, hearing your feelings and allowing them to exist as they are can be beneficial. When something happens and I start to interpret it negatively, if I can let myself feel what I feel initially without scolding myself too much and without projecting a negative outcome, and then observe myself feeling BETTER after awhile, then I reinforce the fact that feelings come and go and although they're real to me and important indicators, they're subjective and dynamic and not the whole of what's going on in reality, outside of myself. if that makes sense. I have historically had a talent for making mountains out of molehills. I don't do that quite so much anymore. I'm better able to stop myself from creating all sorts of meanings from one occurrence and be a bit more objective. Some of that I just chalk up to experience and noting that when I can let go of the negativity in my head, I get a better outcome both internally for myself and with others.

[machintruc]

"motivation" is related to D+, which is correlated to :

Extrotimness
Sensing
Logic

Most "motivated" types are SLE, SEE, LSE, and LSI.

Least "motivated" types are IEI, ILI, LII, and IEE.

[Rubicon]

You've got to use what you have in order to accomplish what you want. In other words, what you do with using Fe to motivate yourself is probably the best thing you could do. For someone else another mode of inspiration/motivation might work better. But learning that there's nothing wrong with how we operate no matter how different it might be from others and using our strengths rather than trying to force our weaknesses is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. It makes everything easier.

It seems I'm always agreeing with your posts, Diana. :-)

I think we mean different things when use the term "just being".

What's your definition then?

"motivation" is related to D+, which is correlated to :

Extrotimness
Sensing
Logic

Most "motivated" types are SLE, SEE, LSE, and LSI.

Least "motivated" types are IEI, ILI, LII, and IEE.

Do you think that Feeling and Intuition can be used for motivational purposes?

[redbaron]

Do you think that Feeling and Intuition can be used for motivational purposes?

I use feeling and intuition to motivate myself. For instance, if I can see that that something might happen in the future, I'm motivated to either head that direction to make it happen or take steps to try to keep it from happening (depending on if it's a good or bad thing). It's not always good though because it can make me stressed out on the inside when I figure I'm the only one who sees it and all the pressure is on me to make sure one thing leads (or doesn't lead) to another. Doesn't feeling motivate everyone? You're motivated to do the things that make you feel good. Right? Whether it's exercise or sex or having a good relationship....

[Joy]

Although I see what you're saying (and agree with it), I think the best thing that's ever come into my life (which was only recent) did so with very little effort on my part. I was just doing what I normally do and thus an unexpected (but definitely NOT unwelcome) change occurred. In an area of life which I have previously spent much time and energy struggling to absolutely no avail. Life is an interesting game...by the time you figure it out, chances are you'll be too old to do anything about it :cynical:

What you wanted finally happened because you finally allowed it to happen. Thinking so much about not having it is what was keeping it away.

Joy, your responses in this thread have been very Zen/Tao. Have you been studying either of these systems at all?

No, I don't know much about either of them.

Furthermore, I want you to know that I really have appreciated reading them because I currently find myself in straits, kind of a turning point, grappling with the same issues I have so many times in the past. A problem, basically, because I tend to think myself into a very small mental box, when faced with information that I interpret extremely negatively and react to in a failure cascade. (Ultimately, I think, being driven by fatalistic and clearly insufficient .)

Your input here has been kind of a confirmation of what I need to do. This time I'm determined to break the cycle and not allow my thinking to become trapped. I need to expand my perspective and be more aware when my thinking becomes subjectively influenced and shut down.

I'll send you a PM.

same here.

Joy, have you been reading those laws of attraction books? your advice reminds me of that.

Something sort of like that.

I believed most of these philosophies before I'd ever heard of them though. I was telling someone about them once and she said "oh, you mean the law of attraction" and I had no idea what she was talking about.

"motivation" is related to D+, which is correlated to :

Extrotimness
Sensing
Logic

SLE: popular motivational speakers
LSE: ???

Most "motivated" types are SLE, SEE, LSE, and LSI.

Least "motivated" types are IEI, ILI, LII, and IEE.

EII?

What's your definition then?

Letting go of all of the "supposed to's" and obligations and stresses and whatnot.

[Mediator Kam]

I don't think I am SEI dolphin??? I don't relate with this.

[Mediator Kam]

Feel free to ignore me.

wouldn't dare.

I'm just expounding my views in a confident way.

yes, glad you are confident.

[Ezra]

I'm not really sure which functions are usually related to innate willpower - maybe just rationals in general?

I disagree. I think Se and Te are the most effective "action" functions. Gammas are great then; they combine effectiveness with force. Betas use force to achieve their goals. Deltas use effectiveness. Alphas are fucked.

[hellothere]

I disagree. I think Se and Te are the most effective "action" functions. Gammas are great then; they combine effectiveness with force. Betas use force to achieve their goals. Deltas use effectiveness. Alphas are fucked.

lollllll