okay. ..
apparently glam said that ashton said .. (that rmc and gilly like to play .. nah not that story)
that ashton now thinks i'm an estp .. and not an entj ...
and glam thinks i'm beta st i think ... i'm not sure what other peoples opinions are ..
but i was thinking .. that it should be easy to tell if i'm aggressor or victim ..
so i can look on wikisocion and it has
http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Aggressor and
http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Victim
So which one sounds better?
Well, I look at victim and I see:
inclined to focus on whether or not the other person might reciprocate the interest
inclined to question whether or not the other person's interest will remain constant with time
And I look at aggressor and I see:
focus is more on own interest than whether or not the other person might reciprocate
romantic interaction is more about "toughness" than "tenderness"
And I'm like...
WELL WHAT I SEEM TO DO...
IS TRY AND FIGURE OUT HOW THE HELL TO GET THE OTHER PERSON TO RAISE IN INTENSITY AND COME TOWARDS ME...
I usually poke a little. Or more than a little bit.
I tend to find that some people kind of drop boundaries a bit .. or find themselves getting vulnerable. ..
Although, sometimes I poke when people are vulnerable, and they can take it badly.
And I seem to try and guage where people are at.
Sometimes when I meet new people, I find there's quite of intenisty around. And not everyone can get involved. And I want to bring people out. I want to get 'em going.
And yet I find some people, they want to fade into the background.
Anyway, often it seems that the people I connect best with, try to compete with me, although I only really like it when people compete within certain boundarys and limits.
Sometimes it's like people seem to feel like they have to proove themselves. And this can bother me a little. Like just be yourself. And I often seem to spin a tangled web.
I like it when people can untangle. And turn things around.
I give quite a lot of mixed messages. I'm not that direct. Even when I like someone, I often seem to say that I don't like them, or act really cocky.
Like I'm the most amazing person that ever existed. I don't see why you couldn't like me.
Or I don't like you, I just want to kill you.
And for some reason, things like "Maybe I want to die" seems to "reassure" me.
But really I've got a pretty low view of people in general. I like it when people don't seem pathetic, and worthless. I like it when people can hold their own. I like to see people care about other people etc.
Anyway, that said. With most stronger interactions I don't initiate. It's true. But with weaker interactions, I'm more likely to.
It seems to be that with people I get along well with, they tend to "move towards me" or they kind of "come into my world" in a way that I can't easily block them off. Like they're sliding towards me, trying to get past my boundarys.
That said, it seems that it's pretty obvious to others, when I like someone. Even if I'm not necessarily willing to admit it to myself. Apparently I get quiet and can make other people uncomfortable, like something's going to happen, and they don't know what.
Also, with people I like, they tend to be "quiet" too... like if I walk up to them, and they're in a group of people it can be that other people seem more vocal than them. Like there's some kind of tension. And sometimes people can kind of question me.
Although, really, i don't like to talk about myself to strangers. When I like a girl, I don't like to say to their friends what I do for money, etc etc
But like at the same time, I don't necessarily clown around as much as some people seem to. It seems it's more in my style to wait a while then interact kind of directly.
That said some girls seem to pick up on me pretty easily, whether or not I think much of them. And I can get a lot of different people talking. Not just girls that are hard to get talking.
Mm what else?
At times, some girls seem to pretend to be scared of me. Or like talk about rape. This weirds me out? I don't know what other guys do in these kinds of situations. I've done weird things like, have conversations about rape, and how people feel about it. And I don't know .. is that the right way to go .. do you just meet a girl and then start talking about rape? What if they brought it up first.
But at least it can get intenstiy up a notch I suppose.
I also find some girls, seem to change .. or do things they wouldn't normally do. And they'll tell me this. But other girls, I've noticed that I've played this game where I get them to say something they wouldn't do. And set about to try and persuade them to do it.
Like I'll just be like "Tell me something you'd never do."
I've been kind of out of the loop. But in the past, I've been advised that I tend to come on strong. . but too strong .. Although, often I seem to pause. But like I get bored, and like stimulation. I hate distance, and tend to get in peoples faces, whether I'm attracted to them or not.
But like some people that have seemed to conceive me as coming on too strong, like I wasn't coming onto them! I just was pissed off because they were questioning or something, and I wanted to see what they'd do.
But like for the most part I can't be bothered dealing with all the crap of interpersonal stuff..
Anyway, that said, now days I often seem to shut off a bit. And keep myself closed. Although, I've been noticing recently that a few random girls have been "bumping into me", and that I tend to wake up a bit from such. I just haven't bothered doing anything about it.
Now, if I was an aggressor you'd think that I'd take that as interest, and try to go towards something with them. But instead I've been focusing on other things.
Although, at the same time, I've seen that what some people guage interest as I seem to see as just interaction. Like some people think someone likes you cos they're standing in front of you. Whereas when I like someone I tend to touch them a lot.
But at the same time I can then look at *COUPLES* and they don't seem to even touch each other that much.
I mean what's with that?