Can't believe I filled this Q.
Questionnaire a lá thehotelambush;
might give it a shot? Aye.
If you do type me I'll love you forever, because it makes you smart and I imprint on smart people. In every possible way.
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I’m majoring in geography with various environmental and border studies on theside. And these things I chose because they seem to give the most holistic and thorough perspective for understanding the world and human interaction. And I’ma generalist, not a specialist. But really, I always understood the importance of land and its elements for humans, I had more of a historical understandingof this… and later learned to see the importance of life sustaining systems tooand how interesting and beneficial learning this all could be. But my view on this is more mythological and political for sure; the scientific side is just an additional thing for a large part that enables further study and research onthis area. The value of land is intangible and immeasurable.
What are your values, and why?
I suppose I learned these values; they are a combination of my upbringing, kind of personal mythology but also what I’ve learned since…
Solidarity – which can manifest in many ways, through action but mostly through whichconserns of us we express, which loyalties we maintain.
Diversity – of thought and expression, but also diversity of life and ways of life. However, this includes a conflict – I am not actually as tolerant as would be ideal orexpected. My views on politics are pretty rigid, my views on religion a bit more ambiguous I suppose but I still reject a good number of things. But I enjoy manifestations of this worldly diversity and complexity, although I do struggle with accepting all forms of it.
Culture -- ever changing, mutating, but remaining close to people to create it.
Expression - for obvious reasons, no man is an island and to survive without interaction would be useless. Constant communication is the best. I could talk forever and want to know all of the things. Whenever something happens I have to "announce" it and learn your reaction to it.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
Currently I’m just trying to expand on my understanding of the world, try to stay tuned to what is going on and where. For future reference. On-going creative synthesis of some ideas I’ve been having, generalizations of things I’ve learned, just to have something I can return to in case my attempts atexpanding my knowledge end up in failure. Mostly I write – hopefully getting something published somewhere… and I’m into cinema, largely because they represent “great stories” for the modern audiences. Kind of all our culture is reflected there. Plus going out with my posse every now and then, but we just go where we please and try to be wary of the company we keep.
Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
I struggled for long with being very displeased with both – for no particular reason I can identify. Proximity to people is just... ughh. It's juvenile, I know.
When I moved to the other side of the country, I suddenly gained a whole lot appreciation for my family and how supportive they were at the end of the day; also kind of admitted to my friends I care for them... rationing out the time we spent together was the key to this, now we mostly have good times and no bad times. Now I do not overwhelm them, and they don’t annoy me.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
I suppose like-mindedness. Having similar convictions at least on some issues, for sure. I said I end up around people who are wary of the company they keep. I’d rather have people who have my back on hard times than be superficially liked by some others…. and there has to be romance, with friends too… this fascination with the other and playful push-pull interaction. Involvement. If I have to name a type, it’d be strong, independent and smart person who can stand their ground. Can be pedantic and a pain in the neck too as long as they care about people who have nothing. Can be shy too if they are interesting and dramatic etc. (Oddly specific; I swear I’m not talking about anyone inparticular, or at least I won’t name any names).
(Also apparently I like “mean” people... whatever that means.)
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did theyhappen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
People’s unwillingness to listen to reason, their satisfied smug attitude which in no way matches theirunderstanding of the topic we were discussing, their inability to comprehendwhat I was saying – and then making these sort of “smart” remarks about me asif they knew what I stood for – I ended up infuriated, felt wholly misunderstood,and just had an exaggerated tantrum about the whole thing. The incidence itselfwasn’t that bad actually, but it was reminiscent of similar attitudes I’ve observed before.
How would your friends describe you?
Entertaining and wild. “How can you be so dumb looking at one moment when you’re actually pretty intelligent?” Silently ambitious. “Too interactive.” Cynical.“Not-shy-and-mild”. Very talkative. Sometimes disappears without a trace. Overly eager. Greedy curiosity. Irritable. Pretends to be smarter than actuallyis. Unhealthy habits. Neurotic. Prudent. Reasonable. Wants to fight but alsoneeds to be protected.
What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like aboutyourself?
I have no idea. People usually complimented my success at my studies, which I achieved simply by just giving a shit about things and reading a lot on my freetime. Just not school books lol. If I don’t know I’ll make an effort to figureit out. And I also see it as a responsibility so… it’s not really a strenght. But I suppose one thing is I am fast to understand generalizations and the sortof concepts that don’t directly translate to something existing in the worldbut rather try describe trends and “movements” and directions of development.
Also if I care about something, I can be pretty persistent about it. I kind of like that bit of fire in me, although if it goes missing I wouldn’t know what to do.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I’m temperamental and impatient, if some expectations aren’t met I might lash outon people when it would be better to remain calm and collected. I get criticized for being a loud-mouth at one moment and being too reclusive the next. I remember times I would not shut up about something that I thought people should know about. Even though I was clearly disturbing them. I justkept pushing the agenda without being thoroughly informed about it. Also, another criticism was that I make everything about myself; in that I either getinvolved when it’s not wanted or just insert myself on it somehow.
Usually I think people see me in a too good light; there is plenty they do not know. I’mpretty petty individual, and definitely self-interested too… more than I’d liketo admit. For long I’ve had the feeling there is something wrong with me, aflaw that is not exposed to outside world… but part of it is that I can neverwork it out on my own, either.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I’m good at dedicating time for things that matter in a global perspective. Iknow what is valuable/important/significant and what is not. I’d probably bepretty good at writing propaganda behind the scenes. I am able to detect what people mean when they say one thing, their attitudes, loyalties when they say another thing.
I would need help with thinkery things; whenever I hit a crisis of some sort,existential or ideological – it’d be great to talk it out with someone who hasthe ability to discern what is a valid reason to question it and what is not –sort of offering accuracy of thought and a steady ground for theorizing. Like I recently ranted about something someone else had said, because I placed value to this opinion although it did stress me out – and then another person pointedout the inconsistency in the man’s argument, and it was like I was released ofthis opinion. It was liberating.
Also I like to be taken out lol. By this I mean, when someone takes charge of activities and action. And I’ll provide for commentary once we get there.
What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others?
Chores, I only do them when I am upset. Sometimes socializing with people whojust want to have a mindlessly good time as if there were no more pressingissues at hands. Like just wait for Rome to burn or drown or whatever lol. And yes, dealing with emotionally sensitive issues is a bit… distressing. I used to be the friend who would say the judgmental “and why are you reacting like THAT”, or “what an asshole” about a boyfriend who dumbed my friend. Instead of being,you know, comforting. My emotional support still isn’t like that, it’s more about… asking people questions, pressing them a bit, telling them where they are wrong in their view of themselves… being more blunt about it.
I enjoy themoment of reckognition; this is not really a massive thing in itself but Isuppose it builds up to something greater. Whenever I exchange a look with someone and we are in agreement… in alignment, we know exactly what the other isthinking – this can happen with strangers too. Or when I’m around people and wecan start establishing what we have in common… someone says something, evencasually, and I just know we have similar ideas about the world… I also enjoy acertain challenge, a thrill of the chase… chasing after a dream, orachievement. But it’s often not measurable, just a feeling I got it. And last but not least, the experience of something holy, something old… something mysterious.Those are rare occasions, but I do enjoy them.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did youcome to have them?
Not sure – undecided. One part of me wants to become a polemic writer of somesort, the other wants to become a hermit lol. I would like to participate inand contribute to society, but not be directly involved in the most obviousway, if that makes sense.
I’ve wanted to become several things; the common thing usually being that I investigatesomething. I suppose exposing hidden information layer by layer (archeology) isthe thing I seek.
Also notgoing to say englightened here, but since I already talked about my willingnessto understand things then that is one thing. I want to gain understanding. Kindof like that Kate Bush song: “I want to be a lawyer / I want to be a scholar / But I really can't be bothered / Ooh, just gimme it quick, gimme it,gimme gimme gimme gimme!” Yeah, that song in its totality pretty much describes my attitude.
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your lifewithout working, what would you do with your time?
With my newly-found wealth I would surely have some considerable influence and power. I presume I would use that for my advantage while working toward the things I believe in. Or I would just continue to academy since I no longer have to worry about money. But yeah, impossible to know for sure, maybe the money would control me instead of me controlling the money.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits areconsidered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
Slight levels of misantrophy, as long as it can be dealt with.
A lot of things that annoy me annoy other people too… I tend to befriend people who get annoyed by the same things… so idk. I guess the sort of promotion of being “self-made” is pretty popular yet the mentality irritates the hell out of me. No one can claim such in a world that is nothing if not interconnected on so many levels. And yeah the sort of level-headedness & realism that is actually just poorlydisguised personal interest… nice try but I see you, villain. Overpositivy is extremely irritating too.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment(your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
When I moved in, I got help choosing the furniture etc. so they’re pretty rad. Thereare lots of items that have a story, too. There is way too much stuff anyhow and I don’t really manage it. At the house I do the necessary things that myroommates refuse to do; whatever they like doing I let them do – there are somethings they enjoy, decorating and organizing and stuff like that. I clean upthe messiest things whenever I feel bad enough to humiliate myself.
How do you behave around strangers?
I’m reserved while I try to figure everyone’s role out, but after that I start encouraging the interaction on some level... if it gets awkward I’ll just leave eventually. I’m not into militant/forced socializing at all.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacksyou?
Some people make it so that I cannot help escalating the conflict when I should be defusing it. Or at least they’d prefer it that way.
If someone insults me, depends – if they are right about me, it bothersme but I get defensive. If they are wrong about me, it’s laughable but alsobothers me how they got that impression of me. In case of attack – if I am truly in immediate physical danger, I’ll run, honestly. If I think I can handle it, I’ll force them to argue instead of getting physical.
What is one common misconception that people have? Explain why it is wrong.
Ehh… that we lack history? Or that the past is just something that happened, but did nothave an impact on the world we see today? Surprisingly common one; the past is detached from the present and just exist as some idealized version or is denied entirely. Another one is: what we have now is the result of (history/evolution). Or that the limitations of the present moment will remain to be the limitationsof the future (or in worse case, are actual limitations of reality/nature). These are all wrong because they fail to see the continuity of things, orperceive time as independent of material world (passing of time leaves no impact).
What did you do last Friday?
Headed for the library to fetch some books, exchanged some words with friends I happened to meet, made some travel plans for later. Also felt like I finally activated after a month of stasis and things began progressing somewhere.
What is your biggest accomplishment?
Graduation.
Seriously, it was pain to accomplish for non-related reasons.
What is something you regret?
I regret the times I could have chosen to “reach” for a person for the last time but didn’t do so because it was inconvenient. I also regret being unforgiving.
Who do you admire, and why?
The people I admire usually have their own kind of special charisma, and they are bloody good at what they do. Professionals. They know their shit. Yet they don’t let that get to their head. It’s more about them being passionate about it, but also meeting potential adversity with patience and sharp remarks. Also people with presence and determination. Drive.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? Whatproblems have you encountered lately?
Yes; I kind of rejected a person or he rejected me, I’m not sure. Now I feel like it was astupid decision although it was my intention to depart. I suppose I really needed him though because I sometimes feel unable to function without hisapproval. And it really concerns me because I do not wish to be so dependent onanyone. But he simply invaded my mind. At the time it felt like I was takingadvantage of him, but I also thought he was doing the same to me. And thisbothers me also because I’ll never know now, because we lost contact entirely.
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
It’s complicated. My upbringing was one part protestant, one part infused with mythology, one part introduced to atheism… in other words, a mess.
I believe in liberation, transcendence, that humanity will be delivered in some way; but also, not in theway of that is traditionally taught. We may have to be a little more proactive about it. I believe the interconnectedness of everything comes from these earlybeliefs of mine also. At one level it involves just humanity, but it expands on all life forms eventually. Not necessarily sacred things, but there is value tothem that almost reaches religious levels.
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care aboutpolitics?
I care about politics a lot and get pretty passionate just by talking about it or following the overall discourse. Since this is more about beliefs and notspecifics, I’ll just refer to the idea of solidarity as one basis of politics.I could name other values too but those are ones that pretty much everyonevalues, like freedom; it really doesn’t reveal much differences to just talkabout it on that level, we’d have to get to the specifics of it.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? Whatrole would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
Not really.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
I’ve worked with extremely welcoming and helpful people, so I suppose I paid attention to the people in the environment and not the environment itself. Otherwise I don’t really care. I’ve worked outdoors and I’ve worked in a tidy office. Depends on the job and doesn’t matter. In a job I look for something that offers both intellectual challenge, engagement and chances of moving forward with it, maybe. Kinda typical/boring.
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
Languages; I was good at them and “just kept talking without even noticing Ispoke a different language”. History, because it studied change. At some point I liked maths too because it had a certain elegance to it; certain ease at following the steps to get to a conclusion. But then I got lazy with it and letmy mathematical ambition die.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
Hm, I expect certain social responsibility. I suppose it manifests differently depending onwhat we’re talking about. Like is it consumer’s responsibility? Being a dutiful citizen? What are we talking about here… but yeah, I expect everyone to assume SOME responsibility on SOMETHING. Almost as if the act of assuming responsibility is about acknowledging your place in the world. I don’t think there are certain specific responsibilities that belong to everyone.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? Howdid you like it and why?
Greece; the land of gods, the cradle of democracy. Well, the land has everything. History, myths and politics, culture. It was both about witnessing the country itself as well as trying to understanding contemporary Greece and conflict of interests there.
What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
At very young; I was CURIOUS above all else… sociable in the sense I got along with everyone, played the best games, not choosy of with whom… but I also wasn’t really outgoing in the sense I always had this cautious, hesitant part in me. Not fully revealing myself. And then I went through several phases. I think I remained similar in the sense I still am divided between external reactivity/warmthand internal detachment and impartiality. Just what has changed is the outlookand manifestations of it.
What was your high school experience like?
Gross and pointless. Well, we had a nice group of outsiders and we got out of it. All you got to dois keep your head low for a while. It gets better I guess.
Talk about a significant event from your life.
Not sure if this means like… the most significant event that ACTUALLY happened, or the most significant experience you took from it… I mean. I guess the most significant thing was when I started figuring out what I should do withmy life. And there was no event that caused it. It just rolled open in my head…these things I have to do, and what to emphasize and which parts were not meantfor me.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
Sure, kids like dinosaurs and I do too. Children are also much moreperceptive than adults without any limitations of imagination. I’m neutral about kids, attitude-wise, but obviously think children should be protected at all costs because of their vulnerability.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I thought about this once. Hm. I would want the child to be intelligent andself-sufficient eventually, but without losing their empathy for others. It’s just very difficult question to answer, because I don’t really feel like I have the ability to raise a child. Just because there are so many practical things I would feel uncertain about.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction toit.
Stasis – I have experienced. Just feeling unfulfilled and like life had nothing to offer,simply because my life did not contain anything much. And becoming too involved in myself and my conditions. So I suffered for quite a while and it always isrevealed to others how I feel… so they get poisoned by it too. I had to findout things to motivate me to other directions, to push me forward, to be ableto activate myself and not be separated from the world any more.
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I often think of people from a generalized perspective… as parts of some whole I know they belong to. But everyone is part of many things.
Social problems: ignorance which leads into blaming some (often marginalized) group of something that is fundamentally a structural problem.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
Emotional pressure. I might also try to reason with people somehow if I figure out how.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
Sometimes; I’m happy to lead a conversation to some direction etc. but I am not fully confident with taking the leading role if I am unsure about what roles the other people want to play. There has to be clarity of the situation. And yeah not sure I have the strength & charisma to lead a movement. Inspiration perhaps. But I can't actualize it.
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
-My irritation threshold is pretty low… though I prefer the idea thatanger is something more justified irritation is just shallow reaction to minor disturbancesand annoyances, something not going my way, someone baiting me needlessly… Anger, if seen in its original, primitive form, is something that would protect us andthose around us. With anger there is always the threat of violence, though itcan be used for protection too. I suppose, unwanted suffering is something that angers me. Disintegration too.
What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
Figuring out new things I had not previously figured out and ranting about everything between earth and heaven with my posse. Nothing too exciting ��
What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
One thing that actually had some impact on my situation – I had tried mywings on a field of work I didn’t find particularly intellectually challenging,but I enjoyed the part where I got to “interview” people and exchange views onvarious things. Anyways, this wasn’t enough for me to be successful at it… I was unable to be assertive & professional enough to make profit… you see, I can be assertive & blunt just fine when expressing my opinion, but I cannotremain professional/polite when I do that… So either I was “too” friendly andempathetic with the customers, or risk being impolite/rude in attempt to assertmyself. I found combining these roles just… impossible. And had to resign.
Whenever I have to meet several (contradictory) expectations like that I just... lose sense of self.
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
I kinda hate this question because it’s the “deep” question.
Even still, the purpose of life is to reproduce. But the lives we live are meaningful forus for entirely different reasons. I suppose the combination of lived experience and aspirations for a better future contribute to finding meaning. Personally I find rebellion meaningful. Camus: “Every act of rebellion expresses a nostalgia for innocence and an appeal to the essence of being.” Iunderstand this as; there is longing in us that wants to manifest itself in theworld. This is the essence. Every rebel driven by idealism and innocence mustchallenge the status quo (that is often taken as is, pragmatic, harsh view ofreality, even nihilistic) to obtain this essence.
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
Top of the volcano. Looked otherworldy. Besides, volcanoes represent both the deathwish of mankind and the resilience of life that rises from the ashes.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
I try get by with what I have.
Do you like surprises?
Bad surprises are terrible. Like times when I am surprised (yet again) by thestupidity and philistinism of people. Once in my life I have participated inorganizing a get-together… like I actually did most of the organizing. And then when I got there (late) my friends reveal to me it was a “surprise party” for ME of all people… worst part is, I saw it coming because they had been whispering in a way that suggested they were up to something. Other occasions…when a “confession” of romantic feelings was on its way and I just knew whatwas about to happen but couldn’t avoid the situation… just had to go through with it and pretend I have no clue about what is going on.
I would like to be positively surprised but that rarely is the case. I suppose I am cynical that way.
Is there anything else important about you that we should know?
My biggest fear is that I am entirely self-indulgent, calculated person, expecting everything to revolve around me…. and also somehow that I am contradictory by nature, on constant conflict with myself and the world. That I am fooled into believing into something that is not actually reliable. That there is a conflict between my beliefs and ideals, but I am too close and too blind to see it. Or that when choosing a cause I support, I am responsible for everything that has been committed in the name ofthat cause, which puts me into a questionable place in the eyes of otherpeople. And – that I pretend to be smarter than I am (pseudo-intellectualism).
That is all for tonight.
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Originally Posted by scio
but don't apply it consistently enough to be Ti-base. Creative... maybe? But then there would have to be 4D Te demonstrative, right? Which I doubt to some extent.
