Why are you your enneagram type?

[theMime.]

Explain your reasoning here.

[Mediator Kam]

My parents picked it out from a catalog and thought it sounded nice.

[Phaedrus]

I agree with a lot in that description, jxrtes. There is only a minor problem with it: 5 is not a wing of yours, it is your main type. 4 and 6 are your wings.

[Ezra]

Much of my life has been based around three key issues: aggression, power struggle and strength.

Aggression I've always been very aggressive as a person. Not physically; but mentally and verbally. Often people will completely misinterpret pure enthusiasm as an attack on their person. I enjoy heated debates, and if I raise my voice to heat the debate further, so do they, but they often take it personally, and I'm sat there thinking "woah, chill". The reason for this is because of my aggression. If they see aggression as a primarily negative instinct, they will perceive my positive feelings for my going on the offensive.

Power struggle Even when I'm not "in charge", I know how to accurately assess the situation in terms of power dynamics. I know who is in charge, and who doesn't have any chance of getting into a powerful position. This ranges from playground politics to running the country. I recognise it very easily. Often I'm happy taking a backseat if I can see I have little chance, because I recognise that no one will be able to have any control over me, and I refuse to follow as such, but also because I realise no one will follow me. As a kid though, I could get people to follow me. I knew what groups I could handle and/or manipulate to my advantage, and what groups I couldn't. I knew who I could involve in my games, plans and ideas, and who I couldn't.

Strength Some people think strength of character is a good thing. This is true to some extent. However, when it gets to the point where people actually shy away from you because you're "too much" in some way, then it's not a good thing. It works disasters for your social life; it really does. It's very subtle; almost imperceptible, but if you recognise you, it hits you like a bullet. It's not like people just go "I don't like you" and disappear. They gradually don't talk to you, or talk to others in a different way, like they're better friends. Which is why the friends I currently have really mean a lot to me.

This isn't the only place in myself where strength plays some part. There's also a great deal to do with strength as an ideal. Strength is not going around hitting people after you've built your arms up at the gym. Strength is not inanely starting a fight with those who provoke you. True strength is found in other abstract ideals, like restraint, willpower (in productive, constructive activities and actions), self-sacrifice, and the ability to take humiliation. I've always had strength at the back of my mind as an ideal to pursue. Okay, I may be loud. I may be dominating. I may be forceful. But these are destructive things; they have nothing to do with real, genuine strength.

[strrrng]

Ezra, your aggression strikes me as very contrived...

[FDG]

My enneagram type has always been quite obvious. I value freedom, positive emotions, not being excessively burdened by everyday humdrum, varied experiences both in the physical and mental realm. I would not sacrifice what I just listed for either success or power, and given that the only types I could see myself as are 3, 7 or 8, if I eliminate two out of three only one remains, and that's 7.

[Park]

Because Ezra told me so, and I believe him.

[Ezra]

Ezra, your aggression strikes me as very contrived...

How I wish it was. It would solve a lot of my problems.

[redbaron]

I'm a 4. Not sure about wing. Used to be sure it was 5w but now I'm wondering about 3w or none. I place a great deal of importance (too much) on who I am and figuring that out. Defining myself and making sure I HAVE a self. And then making sure that self isn't a stereotype but something worth being. I like being different, having a strange aura at times but at other times being able to fit into the group. I like it when people assume things about me without really knowing me because then it gives me the opportunity to surprise them at just the right time. then they're like ??? I didn't know that about you and they start thinking I'm a really interesting person. lol And with relationships, I like to feel that I'm special. I don't have to necessarily be everyone's best friend but I like to think that I fill a place in their lives that no one else can fill. Oh and I always score 4 on every single enneagram test I've ever taken.

[strrrng]

How I wish it was. It would solve a lot of my problems.

what I mean is that it doesn't feel natural or raw; it seems like it is an indirect cause of something else.

[Lucy]

I was identified as a 2 first by Leon and then by Liam and Ezra. At first I fought it, partly because a few years ago I was a pretty unhealthy 2 and so had developed the view that all the signs of a 2 were faults in myself. Then after a conversation with Ezra, many talks with Leon and further research I came to realise that I was a 2 and it was a good thing.

I have always been motivated by love for others and feel a need to care for anyone and everyone. I have often been described as a people pleaser, I always surround myself with people and seem to collect acquaintances. This tendency to socialise widely , forming many semi-close relationships leads to me having a very changeable personality and adapt to the person I am with. Generally I am not completely myself with others but a version of myself; exaggerating selected qualities I feel the person wants from me. My social behavior can often lead to me becoming either consciously or unconsciously manipulative, moving and placing people where I want them or where I think they should be. I have to admit that I can be prone to emotional bribery or bouts of exuberance placing myself the focus of a certain person's attention. I would say, though, that I am only moderately attention-seeking but when there is some one I like or enjoy the company of I can be intensively possessive and want ever more of that company.

Relationships wise I have many friends that range from a passing hello to pretty close and over the last year I have developed a layer of myself I am willing to give away in order to form sort of close friendships, these people often regard me as one of their closest friends and indeed I feel close to them but what they know of me is pretty superficial since I am willing to give it away easily. Beyond that you have to work hard to obtain a truely close relationship, I would say these people are so endangered that you could fit us all in a small car. When I develop a very close relationship I lend completely to my old 2 ways and would give or give up anything to receive love from that person. I would "walk over broken glass" to see them. In relationships usually I find that we are pretty badly matched (all my own fault, I tend to stumble into relationships, sadly quite thoughtlessly) and I find that a mixture of me changing whilst they don't and me caring whilst they don't leads to me drifting off. However, luckily the Bear who currently keeps me company has lead me into a stable, healthy relationship, in which I am loving, passionate, caring, listening and attentive. He puts up with me despite my very changeable nature and occasionally bouts of playful aggression. He is a 7 and we balance each other nicely.

So, that's me. That was quite a ramble sorry, by the way if this points you in any socionic directions let me know because as of yet I'm not sure of my type. Although I'm leaning towards ESFp.

[Mr Saturn]

I was identified as a 2 first by Leon and then by Liam and Ezra. At first I fought it, partly because a few years ago I was a pretty unhealthy 2 and so had developed the view that all the signs of a 2 were faults in myself. Then after a conversation with Ezra, many talks with Leon and further research I came to realise that I was a 2 and it was a good thing.

I have always been motivated by love for others and feel a need to care for anyone and everyone. I have often been described as a people pleaser, I always surround myself with people and seem to collect acquaintances. This tendency to socialise widely , forming many semi-close relationships leads to me having a very changeable personality and adapt to the person I am with. Generally I am not completely myself with others but a version of myself; exaggerating selected qualities I feel the person wants from me. My social behavior can often lead to me becoming either consciously or unconsciously manipulative, moving and placing people where I want them or where I think they should be. I have to admit that I can be prone to emotional bribery or bouts of exuberance placing myself the focus of a certain person's attention. I would say, though, that I am only moderately attention-seeking but when there is some one I like or enjoy the company of I can be intensively possessive and want ever more of that company.

Relationships wise I have many friends that range from a passing hello to pretty close and over the last year I have developed a layer of myself I am willing to give away in order to form sort of close friendships, these people often regard me as one of their closest friends and indeed I feel close to them but what they know of me is pretty superficial since I am willing to give it away easily. Beyond that you have to work hard to obtain a truely close relationship, I would say these people are so endangered that you could fit us all in a small car. When I develop a very close relationship I lend completely to my old 2 ways and would give or give up anything to receive love from that person. I would "walk over broken glass" to see them. In relationships usually I find that we are pretty badly matched (all my own fault, I tend to stumble into relationships, sadly quite thoughtlessly) and I find that a mixture of me changing whilst they don't and me caring whilst they don't leads to me drifting off. However, luckily the Bear who currently keeps me company has lead me into a stable, healthy relationship, in which I am loving, passionate, caring, listening and attentive. He puts up with me despite my very changeable nature and occasionally bouts of playful aggression. He is a 7 and we balance each other nicely.

So, that's me. That was quite a ramble sorry, by the way if this points you in any socionic directions let me know because as of yet I'm not sure of my type. Although I'm leaning towards ESFp.

Wow. What you said was very honest. The Bear is very lucky. It sounds very much like this Piggy I know. Our interaction is very much the same and I think even through my growls and fuzzy fur she can tell this.

[Ezra]

Lucy, talk to Kristiina (not a typo), our resident EIE, and cracka, ESE.

what I mean is that it doesn't feel natural or raw; it seems like it is an indirect cause of something else.

Aggression is never natural or raw; it's always caused by something else.

[strrrng]

Aggression is never natural or raw; it's always caused by something else.

lol, then look at my avatar and tell me if you still disagree.

[Ezra]

lol, then look at my avatar and tell me if you still disagree.

What, some liquid? I assume you meant your previous avatar.

Tyson was a counterphobic Six. Apparently I am as well. Hence, according to your theory - if your logic is sound - aggression should have no bearing on type.

[Gilly]

How does one ACTUALLY determine an Enneagram type? How did you decide yours?

[Mediator Kam]

I don't know my enneagram shit in the slightest, but I found my type by first taking those tests and taking the first two-three types I could be, and just reading on them profusely.

[strrrng]

I've been called the enneagram guru . I suggest just reading and understanding properly. Tests suck.

[Mediator Kam]

I liked the little charts in the book by Palmer, I think it was called Understanding the Enneagram? Just seeing visually how energy was focused and stuff was really helpful and ultimately lead me to be much more confident in my type.

EDIT: Ok, I lied. I don't really know my enneagram shit. I played eenny meeny miney moe on the cover of Understanding the Enneagram...

I forgot, I saw that Palmer book at my local thrift shop. I read the 2 and 9 desciption, but my ESI mother balked at me reading any more because any type of gram is Satanic.

True story.

[Nexus]

I forgot, I saw that Palmer book at my local thrift shop. I read the 2 and 9 desciption, but my ESI mother balked at me reading any more because any type of gram is Satanic.

True story.

Like pentagrams, but enneagrams are 9/5 as satanic. BTW I'm a self-preserving 5 with a 6 wing.

[duality is cringe]

Like pentagrams, but enneagrams are 9/5 as satanic. BTW I'm a self-preserving 5 with a 6 wing.

Same here.

[Nexus]

Same here.

Cool

[FDG]

My type was rather obvious from the start, both from reading descriptions and from identifying with other people of the given type.

[UDP]

what is a trifix

[Gilly]

Well, the types that exemplify my weaknesses the most are definitely these types:

3: Tendency to project an image in order to be liked and admired to the detriment of deeper friendships; problems with vulnerability

4: Issues surrounding identity and desire to be "genuine," but ending up being self-centered/overly occupied by self

6: Tendency to get emotionally attached to ideas after they become part of the "scope" of how I view the world; paranoia, self-doubt, general anxiety

7: Tendency to over-indulge, take everything to excess; flighty, occasionally materialistic, somewhat unreliable

I dunno, I can be reactive when other people APPROACH me about my weaknesses, especially if I feel as though I'm being judged or made fun of (duh), but in general I think I'm pretty accepting of them.

[aestrivex]

gilly is 1w9

[strrrng]

7's are detached from experience. A lot of times their experiences are tantamount to a gun shooting blanks. Why? Because they are looking for a distraction from the internal pain that seems to be inexorably catching up to them. "Pain" does not refer to depression or sadness, but rather, the feeling of anxiety which stems from the belief that the world is unstable and dangerous, and that they cannot cope in it. Thus, they flee outward (as opposed to 5, which detaches; and 6, which attaches on to external things to walk the line between external and internal).

7 is probably the most misunderstood type, and this causes many extroverts to identify with it because it seems favorable or generally accurate.

I just finished the 6 description in the wisdom of the enneagram (after reading 4, 5, 7, 8 and 3 - not bragging, this is for credibility in this argument), and Gilly, I am very certain that you are a 6.

oh great, now I'm gonna have to buttress my argument with silly, overly-concrete anecdotes and cherry-picked evidence!

[dbmmama]

What's the difference between detaching and going inward? I know it sounds like a stupid question, but what I actually mean is, what's the definition of detaching and where does it fundementally differ from going inward? Like, say you were trying to identify if someone was a 4 or a 5. Is there some enneagram description I can read about it?

yes, me curious too. i know the difference in myself, what's the difference in enneagram lingo?

[strrrng]

What's the difference between detaching and going inward? I know it sounds like a stupid question, but what I actually mean is, what's the definition of detaching and where does it fundementally differ from going inward? Like, say you were trying to identify if someone was a 4 or a 5. Is there some enneagram description I can read about it?

7's are detached from the experience in the sense that they don't feel it; they're not truly engaged because they're looking more for distraction from internal pain rather than substantial experience (in the unhealthy state). 5's detach in the literal sense. They remove themselves from the external world and retreat into their minds, because they feel incapable of surviving in the external world.

[FDG]

7's are detached from the experience in the sense that they don't feel it; they're not truly engaged because they're looking more for distraction from internal pain rather than substantial experience (in the unhealthy state). 5's detach in the literal sense. They remove themselves from the external world and retreat into their minds, because they feel incapable of surviving in the external world.

Okay, this might be true when a 7 is unhealthy. I will speak then about average-to-more 7s:

what I see as being detached from experience isn't related to lack of enjoyment of what I am currently doing; often what I try to fill is simply more a form of boredom rather than internal pain. Detachment comes into play when I think of experiences as being "interchangeable", in the sense that even if I were to be disabled to engage in any of them, I could still always find something else that satisfies me.

Detachment is the contrary of attachment. A person which is attached won't easily let go of something he-she cares about; the contrary is valid for somebody which is detached.

From this follows, that detachment isn't necessarily opposed to going inward; however, usually the process of going inward is limited to a rationalization of the current situation in order to see exclusively the good side - in order to find a way out (in the case there is no possibility of seeing a good side).

[normal]

gilly is 1w9

I don't know if you are actually joking or what, but 1w9 it is a good ooption.