Advice for INFj: How to deal with Se polr?

[Kyusaku]

The best I'm capable of is trying to ignore it (unsuccessfully). It's omnipresence is a constant source of pain. How do you make it bearable ? How can you circumvent it ? I'm also curious about how other EIIs deal with it.

[Chae]

Outsource it. As FiNe, you know the right person with the right potential for that. That way, you use your strong functions and don't bother trying to tap into something that you are unable to do without sabotaging yourself even more. As a personal incentive, cover up with as good as you can. That is both satisfying and more realistic

[Aylen]

Edit: Seriously, how do you experience it? In what way(s) is it painful for you?

Se as Vulnerable Function


The individual tends to overreact to aggressive or confrontational behavior, taking it as a personal threat when it may only be a knee-jerk reaction or the result of a bad mood. He tends to avoid intruding on others' space or engaging in behavior that may be perceived as coercive, and tries hard to handle his needs by being disciplined and well-prepared himself - rather than relying on others to do things for him. If these strategies fail, his efforts at dealing with the resulting conflict make him look actively pushy in a way that appears awkward and unnatural to others. This opens him up to painful criticism and feelings of weakness and helplessness.

He is able to moralize and instruct others about what they should do and why, but he is not prepared for others' active resistance or refusal to do as he says. In his mind, this would require him to put aside reason and good feelings and simply make the other person do what is necessary. This is extremely difficult, if not impossible, for him to do.

[Saoirse]

I really like @Chae's answer.

E.g. of using Si to cover for Se: several of my EII friends find driving extremely stressful because it requires reacting appropriately and on-the-spot in high-stakes situations (Se). The ones who have gotten decent at it are simply the ones who were forced to practice very often (by school/jobs being far away), so they eventually learned all the unspoken rules of the road by noticing and retaining what should happen in various kinds of situations (Si).

E.g. of outsourcing Se: I often tell my LSE friend what I want the group/someone else to do, and then he tells the group/that person to do it. Getting a group to pay for the birthday girl's dinner, telling a friend to zip up his fly, that kind of thing.

You can also use some combination of your other functions to cover for Se a bit. E.g., I once had to ask a medical school researcher if I could use some data he had. Upon learning that he is in the same field as me (economics), I suspected he would be motivated to insist that I make him a coauthor on my project (Fi + Ne). We were planning to meet to discuss the situation, and I knew I wouldn't be able to come up with the right thing to say on the spot if he told me that I had to share credit with him (I would want to avoid this because he isn't contributing anything of intellectual substance to the project). So I asked my adviser what I should say, and we basically planned everything out. And everything happened as expected (Ni)--he told me he'd have to be a coauthor if I used his data, and I just dodged the question by saying the exact words my adviser suggested.

All that being said, I suppose there's no way to perfectly cover for our Se PoLR (or if there is one, I don't know it!). On my own, my other functions are insufficient to compensate for Se PoLR in every situation in which Se is necessary--while I can cover a lot of the need for on-the-spot thinking/action with Fi/Ne/Ni, it seems like it will always be extremely uncomfortable for me to say what I want someone else to do, and it seems like it will be basically impossible for me to ever impose my will where it is not wanted. That's when Se demonstratives are very helpful, as they take care of our Se PoLR without thinking less of us for being bad at it and without trying to force us to develop it. But we also can't be with our Se demonstrative friends all the time... So while we can do things that greatly reduce stress from our Se PoLR, we will still always feel stress from it and have to make peace with that stress somehow.

We would be better able to advise you if you provided some examples, as @Aylen asked for. I'll answer again if you do so! I like thinking about how to cover Se PoLR, because I am also absolutely awful at it.

[Mr inappropriate]

Build (or make up stories) a reputation of being a ruthless mofo. Ask some friends to (lie) tell stories about how dangerous you are when shit hits the fan despite your non-threating demanour; then use gossip as a tool. Played good enough and once the stories diffuse though your social circle, you wouldnt encounter much Se pressure.

[Kyusaku]

Edit: Seriously, how do you experience it? In what way(s) is it painful for you?

I really like @Chae's answer.

E.g. of using Si to cover for Se: several of my EII friends find driving extremely stressful because it requires reacting appropriately and on-the-spot in high-stakes situations (Se). The ones who have gotten decent at it are simply the ones who were forced to practice very often (by school/jobs being far away), so they eventually learned all the unspoken rules of the road by noticing and retaining what should happen in various kinds of situations (Si).

E.g. of outsourcing Se: I often tell my LSE friend what I want the group/someone else to do, and then he tells the group/that person to do it. Getting a group to pay for the birthday girl's dinner, telling a friend to zip up his fly, that kind of thing.

You can also use some combination of your other functions to cover for Se a bit. E.g., I once had to ask a medical school researcher if I could use some data he had. Upon learning that he is in the same field as me (economics), I suspected he would be motivated to insist that I make him a coauthor on my project (Fi + Ne). We were planning to meet to discuss the situation, and I knew I wouldn't be able to come up with the right thing to say on the spot if he told me that I had to share credit with him (I would want to avoid this because he isn't contributing anything of intellectual substance to the project). So I asked my adviser what I should say, and we basically planned everything out. And everything happened as expected (Ni)--he told me he'd have to be a coauthor if I used his data, and I just dodged the question by saying the exact words my adviser suggested.

All that being said, I suppose there's no way to perfectly cover for our Se PoLR (or if there is one, I don't know it!). On my own, my other functions are insufficient to compensate for Se PoLR in every situation in which Se is necessary--while I can cover a lot of the need for on-the-spot thinking/action with Fi/Ne/Ni, it seems like it will always be extremely uncomfortable for me to say what I want someone else to do, and it seems like it will be basically impossible for me to ever impose my will where it is not wanted. That's when Se demonstratives are very helpful, as they take care of our Se PoLR without thinking less of us for being bad at it and without trying to force us to develop it. But we also can't be with our Se demonstrative friends all the time... So while we can do things that greatly reduce stress from our Se PoLR, we will still always feel stress from it and have to make peace with that stress somehow.

We would be better able to advise you if you provided some examples, as @Aylen asked for. I'll answer again if you do so! I like thinking about how to cover Se PoLR, because I am also absolutely awful at it.

Thank you for helping out !

I am affected by Se polr in mainly three different ways: first in my relationship with others as I have difficulties imposing myself when needed, second in how I deal with reality as I tend to either shut down or flee when confronted to it, third in my lack of energy which is detrimental in most activity I partake in.

My current situation is rather difficult, I have a hard time accepting objective reality as it forces me to either go against my values or to threaten my survival. I get stuck in a loop of realization then denial, all the while reality keeps going on without me. It feels like being clubbed by what seems common sense. It's impossible to face that reality yet it's there and I have to deal with it.

These worries take away the little energy I have left. It hinders my ability to successfully take action for the betterment of my situation. I feel forced into a corner where the more time goes by the more burdened I am and the less room for maneuver I have. I feel heavy and most of my free time is spent sleeping. My self esteem is getting chewed bit by bit and I highly doubt my ability to deal with reality.

Last but not least, I become avoidant of others as I have a hard time imposing myself. I do my best to be amiable but I feel like always losing in what appears to be one sided relationships. I also have difficulties asking for help despite needing it and having available people around me.

In summary, I feel pretty weak in general. I have absolutely no clue how to solve my predicament, even the advises of my SEE sister in law don't really help, as for her it is too natural and for me too difficult to apply.

[Saoirse]

Thank you for helping out !

I am affected by Se polr in mainly three different ways: first in my relationship with others as I have difficulties imposing myself when needed, second in how I deal with reality as I tend to either shut down or flee when confronted to it, third in my lack of energy which is detrimental in most activity I partake in.

My current situation is rather difficult, I have a hard time accepting objective reality as it forces me to either go against my values or to threaten my survival. I get stuck in a loop of realization then denial, all the while reality keeps going on without me. It feels like being clubbed by what seems common sense. It's impossible to face that reality yet it's there and I have to deal with it.

These worries take away the little energy I have left. It hinders my ability to successfully take action for the betterment of my situation. I feel forced into a corner where the more time goes by the more burdened I am and the less room for maneuver I have. I feel heavy and most of my free time is spent sleeping. My self esteem is getting chewed bit by bit and I highly doubt my ability to deal with reality.

Last but not least, I become avoidant of others as I have a hard time imposing myself. I do my best to be amiable but I feel like always losing in what appears to be one sided relationships. I also have difficulties asking for help despite needing it and having available people around me.

In summary, I feel pretty weak in general. I have absolutely no clue how to solve my predicament, even the advises of my SEE sister in law don't really help, as for her it is too natural and for me too difficult to apply.

I bolded three parts that would be helpful to hear more specific examples for. It might be uncomfortable to divulge very personal details, but: (1) we are here to help and it would help us help! and (2) you're anonymous 'cause it's the internet!

For the first bolded part, what about objective reality goes against your values or threatens your survival?

For the second, what do you want to improve about your situation? What worries about reality impede such improvement?

For the third, how are your relationships one-sided? What do you need help with that people around you can help with but you're scared of asking for help for?

I often feel like my relationships are one-sided, even with other EIIs, in that I constantly demonstrate love for and prioritize my friends, while they prioritize their significant others or work or basically anything that isn't our friendship. But, I think people are generally good. Even if it's hard/unnatural for them to pour out as much love as us, a good number of people are capable of appreciating our love and returning it sufficiently, even if not equally.

Regarding becoming avoidant due to fear of imposing: what do you mean by imposing exactly? I think I would have said something similar during my first year of college, which was the first time I had to make new friends in many years. I had a lot of trouble during the first semester, but I read a lot of self-help books (lol) and one of them strongly struck a chord with me. The main idea of it was that to make friends, you need to get out of your head and literally just say everything that comes to mind. Like, no one is scrutinizing what you're saying as much as you are, and most people just like socializing with anyone who is chill and wants to socialize with them. So when you feel like you might be imposing, they're probably just thinking, "Oh, what a friendly/sociable" person!"

Sorry if none of that was particularly helpful so far! I still don't have a good idea of your exact situation, so I am just trying to relate with my experiences (# ).

[Kyusaku]

I bolded three parts that would be helpful to hear more specific examples for. It might be uncomfortable to divulge very personal details, but: (1) we are here to help and it would help us help! and (2) you're anonymous 'cause it's the internet!

For the first bolded part, what about objective reality goes against your values or threatens your survival?

For the second, what do you want to improve about your situation? What worries about reality impede such improvement?

For the third, how are your relationships one-sided? What do you need help with that people around you can help with but you're scared of asking for help for?

I often feel like my relationships are one-sided, even with other EIIs, in that I constantly demonstrate love for and prioritize my friends, while they prioritize their significant others or work or basically anything that isn't our friendship. But, I think people are generally good. Even if it's hard/unnatural for them to pour out as much love as us, a good number of people are capable of appreciating our love and returning it sufficiently, even if not equally.

Regarding becoming avoidant due to fear of imposing: what do you mean by imposing exactly? I think I would have said something similar during my first year of college, which was the first time I had to make new friends in many years. I had a lot of trouble during the first semester, but I read a lot of self-help books (lol) and one of them strongly struck a chord with me. The main idea of it was that to make friends, you need to get out of your head and literally just say everything that comes to mind. Like, no one is scrutinizing what you're saying as much as you are, and most people just like socializing with anyone who is chill and wants to socialize with them. So when you feel like you might be imposing, they're probably just thinking, "Oh, what a friendly/sociable" person!"

Sorry if none of that was particularly helpful so far! I still don't have a good idea of your exact situation, so I am just trying to relate with my experiences (# ).

It is indeed very personal and I haven't said a word about it to anyone except for one person. It is rather that reality pushes me to act against my values in order to survive. It hurts me much and I wish I could talk about it, but that struggle being known would threaten me.

I agree with you about relationships, I love people for who they are but at the same time hate them for how greatly they affect me.

What I mean by imposing is not letting yourself be trampled over. There's a better word for it but I forgot.

I can't imagine saying whatever comes to mind, as I temper my thoughts a lot. It's like a huge filter where almost nothing passes through.

Thank you for trying, it was my mistake asking for help without being ready to reveal more of myself.

[Chae]

Build (or make up stories) a reputation of being a ruthless mofo. Ask some friends to (lie) tell stories about how dangerous you are when shit hits the fan despite your non-threating demanour; then use gossip as a tool. Played good enough and once the stories diffuse though your social circle, you wouldnt encounter much Se pressure.

Hilarious idea The only issue is that the EII would be unable to lie lmao! Which means that their friends would have to spread the rumors behind their back - resulting in their own surprise when confronted with their hidden fake reputation That again would take all credibility from EII and the charade would be uncovered :/ The only way that your plan may work is when some LSE spreads the rumors and acts like EII's openly declared minion. Making others think "Oh! That man/woman is EII's strongest soldier! That means EII is even stronger!!", causing them to back off

[someoneaskedmetofly]

I'm going through something similar, but it's clashing more with my ideal self. I'm in a position when caring about surviving seems trivial.
For Se matters, do you have issues not acting on impulse? Fearing the others' reactions towards an action which seems unlike you? If it's one of these two, Eco gave you the good advice of practicing just doing it. It'll gradually get better. I also feel excited sometimes by this, as I feel like I essentially almost enter a new reality, cutting ties with what was back there. Actually, this might be the reason why sometimes it seems an eternity passed between a noon and an evening of the same day lol. Try to find pleasure in it. Try overstepping the boundaries more readily. For starters, you could try these things on the net. Divulge everything on an appropriate forum, one you won't feel too judged. Don't whisker at the thought, try to hold back as little as possible. Your fermenting thoughts will do you no good, as they are IME, largely based in paranoia. And even if they aren't, so what? Take it, don't cower; even as EIIs we can still harden (though it might be better to say acclimatize to actuality regarding this issue).
And seeing you can take it is key. It's like this for me still, but to a lesser degree.
I'd really recommend telling someone, but maybe it's like a weight on my soul only for me. I was afraid in the beginning as well though.
This is an exercise in that as well btw. I've grown to dislike the old a bit.

[Saoirse]

Hilarious idea The only issue is that the EII would be unable to lie lmao! Which means that their friends would have to spread the rumors behind their back - resulting in their own surprise when confronted with their hidden fake reputation That again would take all credibility from EII and the charade would be uncovered :/ The only way that your plan may work is when some LSE spreads the rumors and acts like EII's openly declared minion. Making others think "Oh! That man/woman is EII's strongest soldier! That means EII is even stronger!!", causing them to back off

Hahaha, best of luck to any EII looking for an LSE willing to subjugate themselves like this, especially to such delicate creatures as ourselves.

[Saoirse]

I can't imagine saying whatever comes to mind, as I temper my thoughts a lot. It's like a huge filter where almost nothing passes through.

I think this is the kind of thing where it helps a lot to just do it once (say what comes to mind immediately, without hesitation/second-guessing) and experience first-hand that doing it was better than not doing it. Start with some low-stakes situations, like if you see a stranger with a scarf you like, just tell them. Build up the courage to say something to someone who is important to you, and again start out with some smaller issues, that basically no reasonable person can argue with (so that you feel like you have the moral high ground, which will help you defend yourself with Fi if they argue), like if a roommate never washes the dishes, ask them to at least wash their own or something. It seems that your situation is pretty serious, so once you work your way up to standing up for yourself in this central situation, I can't tell you that the immediate impact will be neutral or positive like for the lower-stakes/practice situations, but it seems that even if the immediate impact is negative, the long-term impact will be positive.

It's hard to imagine how starting out with low-stakes situations and seeing how harmless they are will help, because they're not directly related to the high-stakes situations. But it's not a rationalizable thing--sometimes you just have to experience it for yourself. Give it a try!

And seeing you can take it is key.

I agree with this so much. You just have to experience for yourself that you can take it, starting with little awkwardnesses like complimenting strangers. You're stronger than you think.

Thank you for trying, it was my mistake asking for help without being ready to reveal more of myself.

Well, even if we can't give you personalized help, perhaps it will be useful for more members to provide more theory/examples on this. Maybe we'll eventually strike something that touches your situation even without knowing it. I wish you the best of luck!

[UDP]

In summary, I feel pretty weak in general. I have absolutely no clue how to solve my predicament, even the advises of my SEE sister in law don't really help, as for her it is too natural and for me too difficult to apply.

if you label yourself as incompetent the rest of the world will act accordingly
i'm not interested in saying like 'get tough mentally and that will solve your problems' but monitor what is influencing your thoughts

the solution to this and other things might require to grow in your sureness of your own abilities and require experiences of success ; if you don't believe then nothing else matters


are you se polr vs se dual seeking?




ps i'm sure as you go through more things you'll realize you're perfectly capable to handle whatver is going on
don't use weak se as a cop out as that's not a healthy way to use socionics

[Kyusaku]

if you label yourself as incompetent the rest of the world will act accordingly
i'm not interested in saying like 'get tough mentally and that will solve your problems' but monitor what is influencing your thoughts

the solution to this and other things might require to grow in your sureness of your own abilities and require experiences of success ; if you don't believe then nothing else matters


are you se polr vs se dual seeking?




ps i'm sure as you go through more things you'll realize you're perfectly capable to handle whatver is going on
don't use weak se as a cop out as that's not a healthy way to use socionics

Thank you for the advice. You speak the truth, it's a self defeating pattern. But I lack the willpower to break free from it. I struggle with my high standards which make me undercut my own successes. This and other things are why I started taking antidepressants, I hope that will help.

It's an excellent question and I wonder why you are asking it. Do you think I could be mistyped ?

[noaydi]

Outsource it. As FiNe, you know the right person with the right potential for that. That way, you use your strong functions and don't bother trying to tap into something that you are unable to do without sabotaging yourself even more. As a personal incentive, cover up with as good as you can. That is both satisfying and more realistic

this !
Nice, it's what I setted for myself, you worded it nicely

[The Exception]

Se PoLR are very easy to deal with. We aren't very demanding. We won't force you to do things against your will. We would never physically hurt you intentionally, except as a very last resort- as in self-defense.

[Kyusaku]

Se PoLR are very easy to deal with. We aren't very demanding. We won't force you to do things against your will. We would never physically hurt you intentionally, except as a very last resort- as in self-defense.

I recently started to see things in a more positive light. You have to tap on your strengths instead to focus on your weaknesses. Your post illustrates this, thank you for your input.

[noaydi]

Can you expand on "its omnipresence sound like pain..." ??? how do it manifest ?
You sound perhaps more IEI
Omnipresence of last function often is "pain in the ass" for various kind of ppl
Like sometime INFj saying being annoyed by "society" (Te at large scale) or even don't wan't to think anymore & this kind of things, "think to much", bored by thinking while they would prefer dreaming.

Personnally I'm EII and Ive hard time to feel Se omnipresence, sometime it's present in a kinda self defeating mode (if I take input from outside, generally from ppl good with it) or it can be a positive stance (epic rant wanting to stop all shit I'm making and making myself a greater guy doing this doing that pressure on myself in front of various friend laughing). I don't feel Se presence often but strangely it's not like I'm not welcoming it : I'm somewhat "blank" in term of judgement toward my Se, it only "pass". If you want an analogy, being blank about it prove I don't value it : hate is closer to love than indifference. I mean like you see that you should perhaps consider the fact you are valuing it.
Another way you can go over that if that's the case (I can be wrong) being actually idealizing it in some way. What would produce the contrary of Se being pain for you ? Read nietzsche

PS : don't trust Se polr saying they aren't aggressive, they will always end impose somehting on you ^^, whatever being moral, logic.. (even if it's true that often they are relatively passive in term of "pure" aggression)

edit : Ive read how it manifest on yourself and I maintain. You have problem DIRECTLY linked to weak Se (you seem to be always conscious of it in a way), not in the way Se polr have it

[noaydi]

Hilarious idea The only issue is that the EII would be unable to lie lmao! Which means that their friends would have to spread the rumors behind their back - resulting in their own surprise when confronted with their hidden fake reputation That again would take all credibility from EII and the charade would be uncovered :/ The only way that your plan may work is when some LSE spreads the rumors and acts like EII's openly declared minion. Making others think "Oh! That man/woman is EII's strongest soldier! That means EII is even stronger!!", causing them to back off

loool is this seriously EII way of behaving ? I never thought about that lol.

[The Reality Denialist]

I think Se PoLR might cause some trouble.

There are environments where you have to act. If that is not going to happen and there is a need and a responsibility. I have been accused of not taking care of the Se every time I should...

Although when it is PoLR it can go to extreme burst. In regards of EII I would say that I have seen some pretty clear 1D moments when against the wall. [My 1D moments OTOH are perfectly handled .. this is just wrong for their well being now let's doom everyone related to a deepest...]

[noaydi]

Lol @ the pseudo, finally someone who made me lol with all that concept

edit : dude, lol. The wall example fit perfectly.

[Myst]

Thank you for helping out !

I am affected by Se polr in mainly three different ways: first in my relationship with others as I have difficulties imposing myself when needed, second in how I deal with reality as I tend to either shut down or flee when confronted to it, third in my lack of energy which is detrimental in most activity I partake in.

My current situation is rather difficult, I have a hard time accepting objective reality as it forces me to either go against my values or to threaten my survival. I get stuck in a loop of realization then denial, all the while reality keeps going on without me. It feels like being clubbed by what seems common sense. It's impossible to face that reality yet it's there and I have to deal with it.

These worries take away the little energy I have left. It hinders my ability to successfully take action for the betterment of my situation. I feel forced into a corner where the more time goes by the more burdened I am and the less room for maneuver I have. I feel heavy and most of my free time is spent sleeping. My self esteem is getting chewed bit by bit and I highly doubt my ability to deal with reality.

Last but not least, I become avoidant of others as I have a hard time imposing myself. I do my best to be amiable but I feel like always losing in what appears to be one sided relationships. I also have difficulties asking for help despite needing it and having available people around me.

In summary, I feel pretty weak in general. I have absolutely no clue how to solve my predicament, even the advises of my SEE sister in law don't really help, as for her it is too natural and for me too difficult to apply.

I don't think all of this is Se PoLR, maybe some of it, combined with Te DS. If you want to look at this inside Socionics, focusing on your DS function (Te) rather than your on PoLR (Se) would be more useful. But some of this is your coping mechanisms (of distraction, etc) being overwhelmed in general, regardless of type. I see you asked if you were maybe mistyped - pondering your type is just yet another distraction and it will not help solve your problems as listed. Just keep trying to find a direct way to solve them, it will take a while, that's normal, don't view it as losing time.

Also... I don't know if a therapist is an option for you right now or not. Still, a therapist that openly empathizes with you (instead of mistreating you in any way) who can work with you on thinking through what problems you have about evaluating current reality and on finding solutions would be a big help, IMO. With CBT, DBT, schema therapy, or other similar options. You can do a lot of it on your own too though, just might take a bit longer with less help.

The example of your SEE sister - the thing is she's not trained to analyze where the mental and emotional blocks are for you. So it's normal that the advice won't be fully tailored to you personally. This has nothing to do with type directly. You can however try and analyze for yourself the advices others give. Noticing blocks in the way would also be information that you can work with. That does require facing some crap, though.

One more thought: please don't get offended but I do see one block for you, if you try to use some typing with low Se for explaining why you can't do something that's not going to lead anywhere. Additionally to it being a distraction and waste of time, it's actively used as a block in the way of progress.

[Kyusaku]

I don't think all of this is Se PoLR, maybe some of it, combined with Te DS. If you want to look at this inside Socionics, focusing on your DS function (Te) rather than your on PoLR (Se) would be more useful. But some of this is your coping mechanisms (of distraction, etc) being overwhelmed in general, regardless of type. I see you asked if you were maybe mistyped - pondering your type is just yet another distraction and it will not help solve your problems as listed. Just keep trying to find a direct way to solve them, it will take a while, that's normal, don't view it as losing time.

Also... I don't know if a therapist is an option for you right now or not. Still, a therapist that openly empathizes with you (instead of mistreating you in any way) who can work with you on thinking through what problems you have about evaluating current reality and on finding solutions would be a big help, IMO. With CBT, DBT, schema therapy, or other similar options. You can do a lot of it on your own too though, just might take a bit longer with less help.

The example of your SEE sister - the thing is she's not trained to analyze where the mental and emotional blocks are for you. So it's normal that the advice won't be fully tailored to you personally. This has nothing to do with type directly. You can however try and analyze for yourself the advices others give. Noticing blocks in the way would also be information that you can work with. That does require facing some crap, though.

One more thought: please don't get offended but I do see one block for you, if you try to use some typing with low Se for explaining why you can't do something that's not going to lead anywhere. Additionally to it being a distraction and waste of time, it's actively used as a block in the way of progress.

You nailed the distraction part well. I can't help it because I can't face the truth. I need to do a lot of efforts in multiple areas at the same time, yet I don't have the energy nor the will. I can see that without decisive action I will fall to my doom but it paralyzes me more than anything. With anxiety and melancholy on top of it, I've become highly unsatisfied with life in general as a result. Everything has become an effort, even the simplest of things. I've lost most of my enjoyment of life.

I don't feel comfortable with therapists, and I don't have the money anyway. I'm trying out antidepressants instead. I've been proposed to get hospitalized but I haven't made my choice yet.

[Myst]

You nailed the distraction part well. I can't help it because I can't face the truth. I need to do a lot of efforts in multiple areas at the same time, yet I don't have the energy nor the will. I can see that without decisive action I will fall to my doom but it paralyzes me more than anything. With anxiety and melancholy on top of it, I've become highly unsatisfied with life in general as a result. Everything has become an effort, even the simplest of things. I've lost most of my enjoyment of life.

You can gradually learn to face whatever it is you need to face. As for having to do a lot in multiple areas - I'm not sure what doom you are talking about and don't know how much time you have until then. So I'll leave it at that.

I don't feel comfortable with therapists

Yeah, it's fine to not feel comfortable with most of them. But there can be exceptions who can empathize with you in a way that you can accept.

and I don't have the money anyway. I'm trying out antidepressants instead. I've been proposed to get hospitalized but I haven't made my choice yet.

OK well good luck with the antidepressants.