Women Food And God - if you struggle with weight, eating, self image, and/or your body, this may help you on your quest

[Creepy-female]

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[anndelise]

I think one of the reasons I like to do Balance activities is because it brings me into my body and reminds me of what a wonderful machine it is.

I used to hate my face because it reminded me of my father, but when I chopped off all my hair one time, I was happy to see my mother's face there. I used to have body issues when I was younger and driven by hormones to find a mate. But now my body issues are probably along the lines of when I see it in the mirror or from a camera, I don't recognize it. It's disorienting to see.

But I really do love balancing activites and playing on jungle gyms, lol. I know I often get laughed at for being an older, fat, woman who's forgotten she isn't a kid anymore. But I'm having fun, so screw them. (one of the bummer parts these days is not having a young child as an excuse to play on the jungle gyms.)

 

Actually, I just remembered another body issue I have. I'm older, fat, have large breasts, and prefer to not wear bras. So that creates an internal conflict when I walk to the store or go in public. I'm not confident in myself enough to fully pull it off. So will conform by putting on a little cover up or a bra if it's important enough.

It's a similar conflict regarding the fact that I don't feel that I should have to shave my legs and all just because I am female. I will only conform in deep summer if I'll be in town in a shortish skirt.

Oh, and my pastey white skin, lol.

But honestly, my reaction isn't against my body. It's against the social demands/expectations regarding my own body.

[applejacks]

@dolphin - LOVE this book recommendation. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm definitely going to check this out. I used to be much heavier than I am now, and books like these truly improved my outlook and quality of life.

@anndelise - One of the biggest tragedies of adulthood / life after school was the loss of Gym time. Lunch breaks simply aren't long enough. During my previous life, I used to go during lunch but always felt horribly rushed (being a girl and having long hair to shampoo / blow dry doesn't help). It got to the point where I was packing all my work clothes the night before, sleeping in a sports bra, and hitting the gym at 5am before work. Crazy. Also, I'd totally support adult jungle gyms They recently opened a trampoline place near my old house. If you haven't seen them, they're incredible (and provide an INSANE workout!)



With that said, I officially support a State-wide movement for siesta!

[uniden]

There's this very slim girl who comes to my GNC every so often. From talking to her it sounds like she's had a very rough life. She asks about about fat burners sometimes. Um... wow uh... you really really don't need any fat burners, and I can't in good conscience try to sell you any. My manager gave her some free sample packs of thermogenics cause that should really be enough to get where she wanted to go. Not that she even needed that. She's like two steps away from looking anorexic.

Then I learn this week my coworker tried to sell her on B4. Are you CRAZY?!?! There's no fucking way that can end well. I swear that guy would try to sell testosterone to a lady if he thought he could get away with it.

It's sad. Our store has a lot of stuff but nothing that'll fix self-image gone awry. Hmm. Maybe I can pick this up for her or at the very least point it out for her. It's the best I can do.

[anndelise]

That looks insane! It's probably too fast moving for me (and too high force for my spine), but I support just about anything that has a playful element to it. I'm so jealous though cuz that looks like fun.

As for the OP, I will probably link the book to a couple of people I know who hate their bodies so much that they even talk of killing it.

[Absurd]

When they kill their bodies, send me their living brains in jars, anndelise.

[anndelise]

When they kill their bodies, send me their living brains in jars, anndelise.

Heh.
Yeah. But I think it's part of the sign of so much distance between their self and their body. Worse though is seeing how these people are surrounded by loving people who actively engage them in life and love...but they would willingly give all that up, even hurt the people they say they love, because of all their hate for their own bodies.

[Kim]

I am so over hating on my body. Fuck that, seriously. Another reason why I wouldn't want to be in my 20s again.

/rant

[Kim]

PS: I only skimmed the article, but I would want to add that it's not just important to make peace with your body, but to tell societal standards to go die already. I find that even more empowering.

[Scapegrace]

I am so over hating on my body. Fuck that, seriously. Another reason why I wouldn't want to be in my 20s again.

/rant

I feel fortunate to have seemingly skipped that stage.

People tell me "oh it's because you're naturally thin," but in my experience even naturally thin girls get totally WEIRD about their bodies. It's actually one of the reasons I don't befriend women my own age.They all feel like shit about themselves and I don't know what to say to make them feel better. I wonder what it is that makes people snap out of it. I mean, I don't even know why Dolphin is thinking about it. She could weigh 300lbs and be gorgeous.

[willekeurig]

But honestly, my reaction isn't against my body. It's against the social demands/expectations regarding my own body.

This. I'm sort of used to dealing with my body as it is (it's not like I have a choice), but the idea of other people's judgement and revulsion is what makes me scared shitless. And I hate it when people say you shouldn't care about what others think, because that's both degrading of the feelings and obviously untrue. Social acceptance, belonging, intimacy, etc are very real needs.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Well other people aren't as shallow as people like to think sometimes. I admit, I'm pretty shallow- an objectively attractive body is obviously superior to a fat, unhealthy body etc. But at the same token if I don't like the person underneathe the hotness that in turn makes them uglier. Many gay bars are filled with guys that look good on the outside but their attitude and rude behavior ruins it for me.

idk I'm not trying to take away how you feel but yes people obviously judge attractiveness its human nature but the sting of being deemed physically unattractive is probably not as big as people make it out to be either. I see a lot of women struggling with this and it depresses me.

[anndelise]

My problems primarily stem from the idea that they think their opinions on me and my body actually matter, and that I should try to appease them by changing myself to suit their tastes. Also, the frank stupidity of some of the comments I hear.

For example:
On a sunny day I might be walking or bicycling with shorts on. There's little enough sun where I live, so wearing shorts helps me make the most of it while it's there. Some asshats will pull up in a car, see the whiteness of my legs, and tell me to get some sun. Um, hello...that's what I'm doing, dumbass.

Or I'll be walking from a local farmer's stand with a bag of fresh vegetables. Some asshats will slow down in their car and holler at me to get some exercise and eat "Real" food. I'm walking..using my body to transport me from point A to point B...and they are sitting on their ass in their car. Meanwhile, by the time I arrive where the store is, they are coming out with a bag of junk food and beer talking about how they are going to spend the weekend playing some console game. So, I've got the real food and am using my body, while they've got junk food, and their big plans are to sit on their asses in front of the idiot box and play a video game all weekend.

Anyone else see the stupidity in their messages and actions??

Or the people, men and women, who will criticize me for not spending money and time to shave my legs to try to make myself look like a prepubescent girl. I'm an adult woman. Part of growing sexuality involves growing hair on my body. It's not like my legs are involved in their sex life. So back the fuck off.

Or the bra thing. Bras block the natural flow of lymph fluid, leading to lymph node blockages and even breast cancer. But who cares about my health, right? It's far more important to try to make my older breasts look perkier so I can sexually compete with women who are in their breeding ages, right? Sorry, I am not interested in breeding with you, nor having sex with you. So no, I am not going to try to alter my body to sexually excite you, deal with it. You're just not that important to me.

---

However, with all that said, I hate having my space intruded upon by these judgmental and egotistical asshats. So I will do as little as I have to, merely to avoid their bullshit. And that is what pisses me off. I wish I had thicker skin to withstand it from interrupting my peace. I wish I could withstand it as a way of standing up for women's rights to NOT have to cater to idiotic social standards and other people's sexual demands of my(their) own body.

[willekeurig]

Or the people, men and women, who will criticize me for not spending money and time to shave my legs to try to make myself look like a prepubescent girl. I'm an adult woman. Part of growing sexuality involves growing hair on my body. It's not like my legs are involved in their sex life. So back the fuck off.

Or the bra thing. Bras block the natural flow of lumph fluid, leading to lumph node blockages and even breast cancer. But who cares about my health, right? It's far more important to try to make my older breasts look perkier so I can sexually compete with women who are in their breeding ages, right? Sorry, I am not interested in breeding with you, nor having sex with you. So no, I am not going to try to alter my body to sexually excite you, deal with it. You're just not that important to me.

---

However, with all that said, I hate having my space intruded upon by these judgmental and egotistical asshats. So I will do as little as I have to, merely to avoid their bullshit. And that is what pisses me off. I wish I had thicker skin to withstand it from interrupting my peace. I wish I could withstand it as a way of standing up for women's rights to NOT have to cater to idiotic social standards and other people's sexual demands of my(their) own body.

I bet the majority (or at least a very big number) of women/girls feel this way deep down, yet very few have the strength to stand up to the social expectations and stop doing all that shit. It can even be very difficult to admit to having these thoughts aloud, because that too would break the pursued image of a pure goddess that doesn't really have to deal with inglorious things such as the human body. And other people being so quiet about it all results in everyone feeling ashamed and lonely and thinking they're the only one that feels uncomfortable having to "hide the truth" and deal with inflamed shaving rash and spots and ingrown hairs. Or I don't know, this scenario would make sense to me, but I'm a victim of the system and still rather convinced that I'm the only one having trouble adapting to these expectations (why does everybody else seem to have zero difficulties?) .

[anndelise]

I bet the majority (or at least a very big number) of women/girls feel this way deep down, yet very few have the strength to stand up to the social expectations and stop doing all that shit. It can even be very difficult to admit to having these thoughts aloud, because that too would break the pursued image of a pure goddess that doesn't really have to deal with inglorious things such as the human body. And other people being so quiet about it all results in everyone feeling ashamed and lonely and thinking they're the only one that feels uncomfortable having to "hide the truth" and deal with inflamed shaving rash and spots and ingrown hairs. Or I don't know, this scenario would make sense to me, but I'm a victim of the system and still rather convinced that I'm the only one having trouble adapting to these expectations (why does everybody else seem to have zero difficulties?) .

Which is one of the reasons I try to be more vocal about it. In admitting how much I hate it and other thoughts I have on it (like the prepubescent thing). And in not altering myself mostly even though I might be cringing inside in public places and from stupid comments. It's my little way of trying to fight that.

And it's the post you wrote above that makes me wish I could be stronger, for the other women who feel that way.

[ashlesha]

post

[willekeurig]

Which is one of the reasons I try to be more vocal about it. In admitting how much I hate it and other thoughts I have on it (like the prepubescent thing). And in not altering myself mostly even though I might be cringing inside in public places and from stupid comments. It's my little way of trying to fight that.

And it's the post you wrote above that makes me wish I could be stronger, for the other women who feel that way.

[Beautiful sky]

PS: I only skimmed the article, but I would want to add that it's not just important to make peace with your body, but to tell societal standards to go die already. I find that even more empowering.

My favorite saying "Tell them to jump in the deep end of the ocean if they don't like it."