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ILIs-INTps idealising their love interest
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Last edited by sarinana; 01-28-2010 at 04:18 PM.
you're ESFj and the guy you're with is likely not INTp, unless you're having conflict relations.
like you know us... :wink:Originally Posted by crazedratXII
Stop making things awkward Crazedrat. That's my job.
yeah it's typical I guess. and not really surprising of course if you are duals.
clever girl... maybe because ESFp's have much life experience or sometimes are witty/quick.
I think most people idealize their dual to some extent once they've discovered them and begun to form an attachment.
It's true in my case... The discrepancy between what I see in my dual and what others see = wide enough to provoke comments or looks of "wtf is he talking about?"
P.S. if any type is stereotypically "clever," it's ESFp in my op.
is there any type who does not idealize its duals?
I don't think I do. I enjoy them, but I still see their faults and don't make a big deal out of their good qualities. Maybe I've gotten used to my duals...come to think of it, I may somewhat idealize female INFjs. I only know one.
then in this case you idealize the female dual but no the male? is this is because you do not know male duals? are you female or male yourself?
I'm female. I know several male duals, but only one female.
have ever you found your self being attracted to a male dual? have you ever been dating with one of them and liked them in romantic ways?
I had a crush one one in seventh grade. He was a neighbor, we got along great, spent a lot of time together and liked each other. He moved away about half a year after I got to know him. Three years later he visited and reserved me for engagement. A year later he E-mailed saying the distance was too far and called it off. He's like a twin brother to me.
You're a clever girl, Sarinana.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Good one.
Hmmm are you sure your with an INTp.... is it at all possible your mistyping them; no offense but SLI and ILI's are likely to seem a little bit more dull, dry, and boring than most types. Its because of the combination of their objective thinking dicotomy and their Ixxp tempermant. People that like SLI and ILI's type find them relaxing and level headed.
Onto idealizing romantic relationships... this at first glance smells of... Extroverted Intuition is keen to see the potentials in things and possibilities. It also seems romantic relationships is more of a
or
thing leading me to target EII, IEE, and IEI as the types to do this. The EIE seems like they would to, but the Extroversion and Judging makes them quick to size up the reality of their relationships. For clarification I think the xNFp in IEI and IEE makes them prone to being more whimsical and fanciful, meaning they can get lost in the idealizations of something and forget the grounded reality..... and the EII is likely to see the potentials and possibilities in something, specifically of
At any rate I don't picture the INTp as idealizing romantic relationships, I mean they probably do it in some ways, all types have idealizations and fantasies, but the INTp doesn't seem like they are prone to losing their cool calm objectivity anytime soon. They are in sync withand
- they are likely to look for the facts of the relationship.... and then size these up to creative a broad insightful perspective on their relationship... this concept seems a bit more objective than what you are refering to... INTp's are also very unsure about
The reality of a relationship with a stereotypical INTp is usually based around the INTp taking on the role of being calm, well-centered, level headed, and a bit scattered/whimsical/spacey.... but a little lacking on the emotional expressivity. Their dual (is it SEE?) helps engage their feeling side without overwhelming/pressuring/criticizing them and the dual in return appreciates their calm relaxed demeanor and clear objective insights.
Last edited by male; 12-21-2009 at 07:08 PM.
He doesn't show any Fe...Hmmm are you sure your with an INTp.... is it at all possible your mistyping them; no offense but SLI and ILI's are likely to seem a little bit more dull, dry, and boring than most types. Its because of the combination of their objective thinking dicotomy and their Ixxp tempermant. People that like SLI and ILI's type find them relaxing and level headed.
Onto idealizing romantic relationships... this at first glance smells of
At any rate I don't picture the INTp as idealizing romantic relationships, I mean they probably do it in some ways, all types have idealizations and fantasies, but the INTp doesn't seem like they are prone to losing their cool calm objectivity anytime soon. They are in sync with
The reality of a relationship with a stereotypical INTp is usually based around the INTp taking on the role of being calm, well-centered, level headed, and a bit scattered/whimsical/spacey.... but a little lacking on the emotional expressivity. Their dual (is it SEE?) helps engage their feeling side without overwhelming/pressuring/criticizing them and the dual in return appreciates their calm relaxed demeanor and clear objective insights.
Last edited by sarinana; 01-28-2010 at 04:28 PM.
duals calm eachother down. you feel protected and releaved of complexes.
That was never my point which is likely why your failing to see any connection... cause none was ever there nor did anyone ever claim it was...
What I was claiming was that, idealising love interests doesn't seem to be the realm of INTp's.
And second I don't see how one can call a simple complement idealizing their love interest. I complement people all the time just to be nice, but I am not idealizing them....
Well whatever, you know best.... I can't call you wrong; you obviously know this person way better than I do, so really all I have licsence to comment on is the theory, and I know that REALLY well.He doesn't show any Fe...he just tells me something nice every new day. Like I always hear things like "you are the best". Or yesterday I was having a bad day and I was just ranting about it and later I felt ashamed and told him I am sorry. Then he replied "More I talk or hang with a girl I like, the more I like her... if something really bad doesn't happen... So what I mean here...with every day I like you more and more... Doesn't matter if you have a good or a bad day..." well he is more than nice.
He kinda calms me down.
By the theory I know what kinds of behavior is typical for an INTp and idealizing their love interest, while possible, is usually not typical... especially comparable to other types. That behavior is much more likely to be indicative of other types.
I am glad you like this guy, thats not the issue, its the validity of your claims concerning the theory that I question.... two different realms, that I will ask you not to confuse (cause it seems like you are dangerously close to confusing the two).
Anyways thats my peice.
I don't know if you've observed this, or if it's just what you think.
But I do think that INTP's idealize love, it certainly counts for myself. Next to that, there are several MBTI sites that claim that INTP's fall in love extremely deeply.
So I'm not sure whether your claim is correct, but in all fairness, I don't know for sure whether mine is correct either...
Interesting. You must own a big hammer.
Does that mean we can all go for a beer or two and nap in the snow ?
Lol well its what I think.
However I don't think you should immediately take arms against me for being overly theoretical or "top-down" about this. People that rely too much on observation and too little on thought run the risk of rampant mistyping because they don't understand what it means to be INTp. In all fairness it requires an element of both.
As to INTP's idealizing love... its a tricky question... I am not saying its unheard of or impossible... I am saying it doesn't seem to be characteristic of an INTp... I think the reason people see it soo much though is because what idealizing love is characteristic of is being a human being with feelings. I just tend to view thinking types as experiencing these but being a little self-concious about expressing them or acknowledging them.
So yes I think INTp's idealize love, but not because they are INTp... but rather because they are human. However what is prevalant for INTps is a little self conciousness to expressions of these idealizations and fantasies because of the Fe PoLR.
No I don't own any hammer... but apparently you disagree with my evaluation of my abilities, which is ironic because you've never followed my posts in the past, so on what basis are you in the right to judge me?
You should, here, take one:
Now ask yourself the question, why does one need a hammer ?
I do not need to follow anything or anyone to tell you what I told you. Disagree ? Heh, am I really disagreeing with you ?
Sure you don't, but now that I know its not worth my effort.
Have a nice life, I really hope one day you need someone else's help and they just come up to you and say in an annoying way "I am not helping you because I don't need to follow anything someone tells me".
Also stop trying to take the high ground here by tossing questions at me as if you were master yoda or some kind of guide or teacher.
Yea, misunderstandings arise, but I couldn't care less. Have a nice life ?
Well I find it hard to believe this is a misunderstanding... because all you have to tell me is what you meant by me having a big hammer, and misunderstanding solved.Yea, misunderstandings arise, but I couldn't care less. Have a nice life ?
See, alot of times if its not obvious what a person is saying I can end up seeing the negative side alot easier than the positive.... I am a bit of a negativist like that. I dread being the fool that thinks everyones being nice and laughing with them but really everyones laughing at them, thats why I have such a sensitive threshold for comments that could be possibly construed as criticisms or insults. Now if people weren't dicks and never did this to anyone I wouldn't have any reason to be skeptical of others motives, but it happens and occasionally these misunderstanding arise.
So please just tell me what you meant, so we don't have to needlessly perpetuate this... if it was negative just say it directly, if it was positive then sorry my bad.
It wasn't negative. I don't even know, why I am trying to set this right (?). You know the theory really well. Fantastic. Some people say you don't know shit, and it wasn't me. That's why you need a hammer. A concrete hammer would be nice. It's either you or them. Who's wrong and who's right, you tell me, although, you did, just as they did
K well, sorry then about jumping to argument on this one, and your not nessicarily the one trying to set this right, I just think I over-reacted on review of what I orginally wrote... I think now is an oppurtune time to see myself out of this topic =p.It wasn't negative. I don't even know, why I am trying to set this right (?). You know the theory really well. Fantastic. Some people say you don't know shit, and it wasn't me. That's why you need a hammer. A concrete hammer would be nice. It's either you or them. Who's wrong and who's right, you tell me, although, you did, just as they did
well i have seen that the ILIs will be idealizing their love interest but not right away from beginning, is more like they keep feelings holding back and holding back, being logical when is possible for them. but when this is not possible any longer and they must choose, they giive into feelings and is very strong love they can show, very much devoted to partners. in these cases ILIs will be idealizing their own love interest very much and for a very long time, very deep and devoted love
to take a break from socionics... part of this all you don't need socionics for.... I mean who the fuck doesn't wish for things they like.... and who the fuck doesn't like just true/pure love/beauty?
Sorry but everyone thinks I am trying to say ILI's don't fall in love or something... they do, everyone does and should.... love is great, and I don't care what cynical asshole come by and tries to argue against that... I'll take that to the grave, better than dying inside a bitter asshole.
All I was doing was... boom looked at the theory... and said "Bob what is it that makes an INTp unique from all the other 15 types in regards to issues of love and romance".... and immediately I thought "Well Johnathan, I would dare say that love is the issue of feelings rather than thoughts... because well you see its quite simple, try to think yourself into love and tell me how that works for you".... then I thought in socionics there are two types of jungian functions which deal with feelings "Fe and Fi"... both of which for an INTp remain undevleoped.... specifically the PoLR is in Fe, etc etc etc.... basically I thought this all in my head.... and probably doesn't have to do anything with your situation.......
Look if your with an INTp and you like each other.... thats great, hope it works out.... I'd rather see two people in love right now than have to deal with sitty forum arguments about my knowledge on socionics.... really
as to why he is saying "your a clever girl" over and over... maybe if he is an INTp, he is trying to complement you but is self-concious so he doesn't know what to say besides that which he futily repeats over and over.... I am horribly self-concious with women... and it sounds like something I would do in stupidity.... say a bunch of nice things to a girl because I don't know how to say what I really want to say, being too subtle... I think alot of guys do this.... call it strategy uno.... strategy dos is to be arrogant and badass.
OOh god I feel the storm of criticism already on the horizon... ahh runn lol
i did not have any kind of critical intention here, I only was telling my observations.
to put from socionics perspective what i should have done before, i say this -- that ILIs use their Te to interact with the world. they are not liking to allow their emotions to make their decisions for them, but always would prefer to be using their business logic Te. but love comes and is emotional, is maybe sometimes like emotional cloud like 'wow, what do i go do with all of these feelings, they do not make sense so maybe i will think on them for now. it will be mind before heart" and etc like this. but then after they have satisfied Te need for logic and order and feelings are still there and risk of falling into the love is worthwhile, ILI will let feelings in. and then feelings can be rushing over through them. they might not and probably will not show very much these outwardly but in their hearts and minds then ILIs will be idealizing love interest very much
this is all I meant. i am not here to argue, i hope what i have said will make sense
Nah come on that wasn't directed towards you at all, I don't wish to argue either, I am just ugh pissed off and getting exhausted from all the debating I've been doing on this forum... I really need to take a break. lol
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