Originally Posted by
Hiketeia21
"More dominant than he is," is what I said. It was kind of an 'even I am more dominant than him' kind of statement. Thing is, I happen to be a bit of a control freak given my history of being a victim of psychological abuse (ENTj supervisor father) but am really not very intimidating. Or, rarely. I am more of an ice queen able to manipulate people around me than a truly powerful person in the traditional sense. But I was lowkey obsessed with becoming connected to someone like that my whole life...of being worthy of such a person and they of me.
Then my sweetheart husband came along and chopped me off at my hypergamous knees. I have been in love ever since, which for Beta NFs means pushing for him to do ST acrobatics to prove that they are (still) worthy of my affection. It has taken some growth and self-awareness to stop doing this, but it looks like it came too late - I created a monster who wants to dominate me but is basically a teddy bear that binges on wifi and doesn't adult too well.
This is terribly sweet, and I love him for it, but I don't know what to do now.