ha =
ESTps. (Again :P)
ha =
Last edited by betterthan; 05-27-2009 at 10:02 PM.
hmmmm. the estp I know moved two states away (decades ago) to be with the girl he was in love with when he was a sophomore in college. no questions asked, he was head over heels. so yeah, I think they're prone to do that sort of thing when they're completely whipped. He makes a decision and goes with it. I'm guessing that the trick is, with SLEs, to make them want it. Make him feel it. He's not going to feel it for you if you're wallowing. You've got to get out there and get yourself a life without him. Then if he hears about all the cool things you're doing, maybe he'll contact you. Or maybe not and you'll meet someone even better. Don't worry too much about duality, just focus on being the best self you can be without anyone else and then stay open to meeting everyone and they'll come running. (well, maybe)
If you want to contact him, you could ask him advice on something that you know he's good at. But don't make it be about your feelings or your relationship with him. It must be unrelated to that. Do you have some shared interests or activities with him? Focus on those and make sure he can tell that you're VERY happy and that it doesn't bother you that he hasn't contacted you.
IEI-Fe 4w3
\
Originally Posted by redbaron
hmmmm. the estp I know moved two states away (decades ago) to be with the girl he was in love with when he was a sophomore in college. no questions asked, he was head over heels. so yeah, I think they're prone to do that sort of thing when they're completely whipped. He makes a decision and goes with it. I'm guessing that the trick is, with SLEs, to make them want it. Make him feel it. But he does want it, he was obssesive when it came to me, not to be arrogant just thats how everyone called it. He's not going to feel it for you if you're wallowing. You've got to get out there and get yourself a life without him. Then if he hears about all the cool things you're doing, maybe he'll contact you. I know it's not that he doesn't feel it that he doesn't want it. I could feel the obsession whenever he was around, the ache, the lust; all of it. So I know it's not that he doesn't feel it that he hasn't made a move. I just think maybe it's because he doesn't think I am good enough. And I have made a new life for myself, the only thing that it's lacking in is him. But I am afraid, what I have become still isn't good enough for him. I don't know what is good enough, I don't know what he wants from me...maybe I am just projecting, I know that us Is always feel beneath our E duals, but I don't know if that is all this is.
Or maybe not and you'll meet someone even better. Ooo I hope so!! Don't worry too much about duality, just focus on being the best self you can be without anyone else and then stay open to meeting everyone and they'll come running. (well, maybe)
If you want to contact him, you could ask him advice on something that you know he's good at. But don't make it be about your feelings or your relationship with him. It must be unrelated to that. Do you have some shared interests or activities with him? Focus on those and make sure he can tell that you're VERY happy and that it doesn't bother you that he hasn't contacted you. Thanks, that is great advice, I will try this!
I don't think you should assume you're not good enough. You are who you are. Just be yourself and if that's not good enough for him, screw him. It's his loss.
IEI-Fe 4w3
He's probably shy. I think people overestimate an SLE's determination in establishing something with their dual. Firstly, they might not see it as a high priority on their list (take me currently for instance - right now, a girlfriend is the last thing on my mind). Secondly, they're not SEEs. They don't just network and flirt and shit for the sake of it. And they're not BRILLIANT at wooing the opposite sex like SEEs are. Some of them don't even enjoy it. Thirdly, and practically, he may not like you. So what if you like him and he has heard this. You know he's your dual. Does he know you're his? Does he know about the fucking amazing lifelong relationship you'll have if you get it on? Of course not.
good points all.
IEI-Fe 4w3
This is very true, SLE are not master of people and relationship but master at conquering obstacles in life especially physically work. SEE can talk, make contacts with who they like at ease. How can an SLE balance the art of mastering and applying their understanding of how to get what they want, when FI is their polr? and understanding how somebody feel is not what they are good at.
(D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)
You're drinking too much socionics... and your world might start to look very colored.
Real life duality is more challenging...
People are lost... most of them don't have a clue about what they want. Sure, they have moments of awareness but... they're not as frequent as you might think.
Anyway... from my recent interaction with a very nice ESTp I discovered that they like independent, on their own people. In my case, she wants a strong man standing tall next to her.
Now, we all know IEI have a tendency to whine... but this is not a charming tendency... the charming tendency is FORCE! and with an IEI that is inner FORCE.
So, my advice is to just BE you! The FEARLESS you!
Technique is easy to explain: Perfect Love casts out fear. Perfect love is obtained by removing the obstacles you have in front of you heart. Obstacles are removed by melting them with awareness.
My favorite teacher is Anthony de Mello. Here is a small excerpt of his teaching:
Take a look, maybe it helps.
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
Sigma, I don't have time to respond. But I just wanted to say, you're post is really funny. Keep up the good worwk.
Thanks!
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
Oh! You are right, I think I have overestimated his confidence when it comes to me (if I were him I wouldn't have any considering how I have responded to him in the past, opps...!) & I always forget that you guys aren't the smoothest because you just seem so freakin' loveable to me... Thank you Ezra
Aw, thanks Redbaron, x.
Oh thankyou! I keep forgetting about this... I keep doing the whole, if I were him deal, forgetting he doesn't see things like I do.
I think this ^^^^^^^^^ guy has a crush on me.
(D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)
I think this ^^^^^^^^^ guy seriously has a crush on me.
(D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)
LOL! I guess so! Wow, good post, thanks for the video link, that is so good stuff!You're drinking too much socionics... and your world might start to look very colored.
Real life duality is more challenging...
People are lost... most of them don't have a clue about what they want. Sure, they have moments of awareness but... they're not as frequent as you might think.
Anyway... from my recent interaction with a very nice ESTp I discovered that they like independent, on their own people. In my case, she wants a strong man standing tall next to her.
Now, we all know IEI have a tendency to whine... but this is not a charming tendency... the charming tendency is FORCE! and with an IEI that is inner FORCE.
So, my advice is to just BE you! The FEARLESS you!
Technique is easy to explain: Perfect Love casts out fear. Perfect love is obtained by removing the obstacles you have in front of you heart. Obstacles are removed by melting them with awareness.
My favorite teacher is Anthony de Mello. Here is a small excerpt of his teaching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkbRHqqVYEU
Take a look, maybe it helps.
x
huzzah
SEE Unknown Subtype
6w7 sx/so
[21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
[21:29] hitta: and not dying
.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
