Compatibility vs. Attraction in Intertype Relations (thread split)

[redbaron]

But I think maybe there needs to be a distinction between compatability and attraction...seems weird but I think it's possible for us to be attracted to people we're not compatable with.

Absolutely.

[theMime.]

I think there's


compatability


and


attraction.



And they don't always line up...unfortunately.


Agree or disagree?

[Mediator Kam]

If you are compatible, wouldn't you therefore be attracted to each other?

[ScarlettLux]

If you are compatible, wouldn't you therefore be attracted to each other?

Not necessarily - there are different forms of attraction. You might be compatible in all senses, but not sexually attracted to one another. And physical attraction doesn't mean emotional/mental/spiritual, etc. compatibility. It's not a two way street.

[meatburger]

Not necessarily - there are different forms of attraction. You might be compatible in all senses, but not sexually attracted to one another. And physical attraction doesn't mean emotional/mental/spiritual, etc. compatibility. It's not a two way street.

And also its quite possible to have a dual that is simply too unnattractive for you to consider for youself i think. I actually find the same with INFjs. We just want to argue about everything. It can be a little draining.

The INFj i went out with i could actually see us having a civil and compatible relationship for 5 years or perhaps longer. Its just i knew there was no real physical spark.

[ScarlettLux]

And also its quite possible to have a dual that is simply too unnattractive for you to consider for youself i think. I actually find the same with INFjs. We just want to argue about everything. It can be a little draining.

The INFj i went out with i could actually see us having a civil and compatible relationship for 5 years or perhaps longer. Its just i knew there was no real physical spark.

Yeah! That's also it with Mirrors - no physical spark AT ALL. Just the thought of it makes me squiggly inside ... no-no!

Meaty, maybe you should go back to dating cool Beta NFs, all ya gotta do is finish morphing into an ESTp

[Lotus]

But I think maybe there needs to be a distinction between compatability and attraction...seems weird but I think it's possible for us to be attracted to people we're not compatable with. Expat, what do you think about all this?

No offense,
But isn't that kind of obvious?

Otherwise every person we think are attractive we are compatible with.
I only date people I am attracted to (duh), but so far I haven't been compatible with any of them.

(ISFps?? Where are you guys?)

[theMime.]

No offense,
But isn't that kind of obvious?

Otherwise every person we think are attractive we are compatible with.
I only date people I am attracted to (duh), but so far I haven't been compatible with any of them.

(ISFps?? Where are you guys?)

*embarrassed face*

[theMime.]

No offense,
But isn't that kind of obvious?

juss wanted to make it clear that socionics is a theory of compatabilty
not attraction.

but that's already very clear.

[theMime.]

^
|
|

stating the obvious is fun.

[Lotus]

socionics is a theory of compatabilty
not attraction.

Ummm
what's your point?

[theMime.]

Ummm
what's your point?

isn't it obvious?

[Lotus]

isn't it obvious?

No, actually.
Nothing you've said in the last few posts seem
to make any sense to me.

[theMime.]

No, actually.
Nothing you've said in the last few posts seem
to make any sense to me.

ok i'll word it differently.
but be warned they are all obvious points:

point 1: sometimes we're more attracted to types other than our duals (like our mirrors)
pont 2: our duals are the types that are most psychologically compatable with us (according to socionics theory and a lot of personal accounts)
point 3: sometimes romantic relationships that aren't dual relationships are awesome
point 4: Socionis says that the best romantic pair is a dual pair but that's based solely on compatability and nothing else (like attraction). That's what I wanted to make clear but it's already clear.

make sense now?

[Lotus]

ok i'll word it differently.
but be warned they are all obvious points:

point 1: sometimes we're more attracted to types other than our duals (like our mirrors)
pont 2: our duals are the types that are most psychologically compatable with us (according to socionics theory and a lot of personal accounts)
point 3: sometimes romantic relationships that aren't dual relationships are awesome
point 4: Socionis says that the best romantic pair is a dual pair but that's based solely on compatability and nothing else (like attraction). That's what I wanted to make clear but it's already clear.

make sense now?

No, I understood what you were literally saying.
But I didn't understand why you were saying it.
Like you said, "they are all obvious points" so I didn't get why you were
saying them in the first place.

They all seemed kind of "duh."
And you phrased them like
they were new theories that you had just discovered.

For example:

But I think maybe there needs to be a distinction between compatability and attraction...seems weird but I think it's possible for us to be attracted to people we're not compatable with. Expat, what do you think about all this?

It's just... wow!
Brilliant discovery!

No offense, or anything.

[theMime.]

No, I understood what you were literally saying.
But I didn't understand why you were saying it.
Like you said, "they are all obvious points" so I didn't get why you were
saying them in the first place.

They all seemed kind of "duh."
And you phrased them like
they were new theories that you had just discovered.

For example:



It's just... wow!
Brilliant discovery!

No offense, or anything.

oh i see.
yep.
that i did.
very obvious point phrased like i just made a brilliant discovery.
so why did i phrase it like that? i dunno.

[Lotus]

that's 'cos she is using Te and stating stuff as if it's a fact, sort of ignoring the black box altogether, and you, as a merry type, are all into connections and why things are the way they are, i.e. what causes people to say stuff like that, what is inside that black box that spews out the facts, etc.

That's actually very helpful. Thanks.

Sooo.... ..
do you understand what her point was?


EDIT: Please tell me she wasn't just stating out the obvious...
Oh god.... she was, wasn't she?

[theMime.]

That's actually very helpful. Thanks.

Sooo.... ..
do you understand what her point was?

I still dont..

there was no point.
i was just saying stuff ppl already knew and phrasing it like i made a brilliant discovery.
no point at all.

[Lotus]

i think it was that basically you can be attracted to any type, with duals not necessarily being high on the list, though that's who is most compatible to you or in other words with whom things are easiest or something.

ooohhhhhh...
so there was no point.

Wow, you are an amazing translator.
I take back the "YOU ARE CRAZY BITCH" thing.
Even though you secretly liked being crazy...

[meatburger]

Anamericancer stop being so mean to Mime! She made a small slip up no big issue.

I just met a cool INFj that likes playing computer games. FUCK man maybe i should just try to date one..

I hadn't read the actual Intertype relations description for quite a while but i just had a look and i must admit it almost perfectly describes my relation with my INFj friend.

This part i find the most disturbing
"Mirror relations usually lack warm atmosphere between partners."

Ive actually noticed this. I seem to have a cold detatchment to INFj's, while not minding to hang around them

[Lotus]

Anamericancer stop being so mean to Mime! She made a small slip up no big issue.

ughh.
I'm always the bully.
And I wasn't posting cause she slipped up...
I gave a smily face and said "tis okay, friend"
I was reacting to the the additional posts after
that that were seemingly pointless and
just irritating.

no big deal guys.
for some reason,
we just misinterpret everything each other says.