Fe leads: How true or genuine they are

[Guillaine]

Not so good, @Number 9 large.

I’m looking for a woman who is ESI, sp/sx, intelligent, secure, lives near me, is not already married, is in a fairly narrow age group and whom I find attractive and who also likes me.
When you multiply together the percentages of each of those qualities in the population, you find that there are about 40 women who qualify in a major metropolitan area of about 250,000 people. And they are introverts who don’t make friends easily and tend to stay home when they’re not out spending a month’s salary on clothes.

So, it’s not going very well......

Stay positive Adam, you're energy will bring them to you

[Guillaine]

Fuck yolo.

I just did stupid shit for this dumb dude:

Guess whose dumber? Me.

1. I shared my name, and every thing about me.
2 I shared my pictures.
3. I masturbated on video call
4. I sent my pussy
5. I sent a video masturbating


Who won? I fuking lose. T.T i don't wanna reside on the Internet anymore

don't be hard on yourself, we creatives love risk, it's part of who we are. Just got to find outlets for it that don't make you feel like shit afterwards and definitely don't punish yourself for trying something that you felt you wanted to do. You are in control.

[Adam Strange]

Stay positive Adam, you're energy will bring them to you

Thanks, @Guillaine. But I just did the actual math, and the number seems to be 3.5. Lol. One of three, out of 250,000. I have my work cut out for me.

Or maybe I should be looking farther afield. What about those Russian brides?



Here's the math.

Female: 50%
ESI: 8%
sp/sx: 18%
intelligent (above average) 50%
single: 50%
Age range: 6.5%
Secure: 20%
Attractive (at this point in the winnowing process, I'm easy): 60%

Resulting percent in the general population: 0.0014%

When I find her, she's going to be a "one in seventy thousand". Lol.

[Guillaine]

Thanks, @Guillaine. But I just did the actual math, and the number seems to be 3.5. Lol. One of three, out of 250,000. I have my work cut out for me.

Or maybe I should be looking farther afield. What about those Russian brides?

whoops I mean "your", what a terrible mistake for an English teacher to make. But forget the maths! You will bring them over land and sea.

I don't know how to make you feel any better about it. I guess I am doing as an ESI would.

[Adam Strange]

whoops I mean "your", what a terrible mistake for an English teacher to make. But forget the maths! You will bring them over land and sea.

I don't know how to make you feel any better about it. I guess I am doing as an ESI would.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

I'm just trying to be realistic to estimate the likelihood of success and how much work will be involved to make this a success. Looks like a lot. Lol. But for sure I'm optimistic. I'm getting closer every day.

[Guillaine]

Thanks, I appreciate it.

I'm just trying to be realistic to estimate the likelihood of success and how much work will be involved to make this a success. Looks like a lot. Lol. But for sure I'm optimistic. I'm getting closer every day.

I feel your pain. I am a bit...shall we say bewildered by my duals, so many of them are NOT suited to me. Or I am not dualised or meeting the wrong ones. SO the chances of all compatibility areas working out are slim...But it happens, suddenly and randomly, the thing is to be ready, open, present, friendly, you.

[Tigerfadder]

Thanks, @Guillaine. But I just did the actual math, and the number seems to be 3.5. Lol. One of three, out of 250,000. I have my work cut out for me.

Or maybe I should be looking farther afield. What about those Russian brides?



Here's the math.

Female: 50%
ESI: 8%
sp/sx: 18%
intelligent (above average) 50%
single: 50%
Age range: 6.5%
Secure: 20%
Attractive (at this point in the winnowing process, I'm easy): 60%

Resulting percent in the general population: 0.0014%

When I find her, she's going to be a "one in seventy thousand". Lol.

Probably if you find someone who like you and bring the energy some of those criteria might lose value to you.

[WVBRY]

@Adam Strange, @Guillaine

I wouldn't advise to focus on specific demographic criteria you want out of a partner, but more what you want out of a relationship. If it's a long term thing you want, ask yourself who you know that is willing and able to make this happen.

Duals need to have the same goals anyways, so even if you find an ESI woman in her 40s sp/sx attractive secure etc... she may not want the relationship you want. Adam, I think you're actually fighting a battle you cannot win, and you're making yourself unhappy in the process. The first rule of socionics is "let your feelings guide you", so if you feel good with a woman, focus on that, not on statistics.

Anyways, it's none of my business, but I don't understand why reduce your odds of being happy by closing yourself off to over 99 percent of the female population, lol.

[Adam Strange]

@Adam Strange, @Guillaine

I wouldn't advise to focus on specific demographic criteria you want out of a partner, but more what you want out of a relationship. If it's a long term thing you want, ask yourself who you know that is willing and able to make this happen.

Duals need to have the same goals anyways, so even if you find an ESI woman in her 40s sp/sx attractive secure etc... she may not want the relationship you want. Adam, I think you're actually fighting a battle you cannot win, and you're making yourself unhappy in the process. The first rule of socionics is "let your feelings guide you", so if you feel good with a woman, focus on that, not on statistics.

Anyways, it's none of my business, but I don't understand why reduce your odds of being happy by closing yourself off to over 99 percent of the female population, lol.

Well, I'm being choosy because I've had experience with all the introverts in the socion, and sometimes for a twice-go-'round (LSI), and they are all exactly as predicted by theory.

I had a long marriage to a great social match, and a couple long relationships with emotional matches, and I'm now looking for a woman as described above.

You know, I used to buy these beater cars. You know the type. You buy them cheap, run them hard, and when they break you take the plates off and leave them by the side of the road. Not anymore.

[Guillaine]

@Adam Strange, @Guillaine

I wouldn't advise to focus on specific demographic criteria you want out of a partner, but more what you want out of a relationship. If it's a long term thing you want, ask yourself who you know that is willing and able to make this happen.

Duals need to have the same goals anyways, so even if you find an ESI woman in her 40s sp/sx attractive secure etc... she may not want the relationship you want. Adam, I think you're actually fighting a battle you cannot win, and you're making yourself unhappy in the process. The first rule of socionics is "let your feelings guide you", so if you feel good with a woman, focus on that, not on statistics.

Anyways, it's none of my business, but I don't understand why reduce your odds of being happy by closing yourself off to over 99 percent of the female population, lol.

Totally agree with let your feelings guide you. They guide me to duals...mostly, then comes the work of figuring out what we want etc. The people who might be willing to make it happen don't bring out the best in me. For example mirrors are easy to meet and are at times attractive and willing but ultimately they bring out my whining side I find, becuase they are good counselors and listeners, and there are undertones of competition and of two drowning people alternatively flailing on top of each other in the sea, though I have considered them quite seriously and maybe with the right life experience a mirror could work, because they would understand about my writing better. I'm not blocking out anyone on paper but in real life it just happens like that so far. With semi duals not growing is a big negative, it's like physical comfort and mental discomfort. My duals have a lot of challenges for me but it seems likely the best option. I'm interested in some other out of the box ideas too though, that's why I was asking about quasi-ids in my other post. But you're right, we don't choose people by types or on paper- people are unique. Sensible advice Avebury, I will definitely try to keep an open mind.

[idontgiveaf]

True love, then. Most guys will drop a girl if she looks too weird or acts too crazy.

So it’s either true love, or you’re holding his dog hostage.

Hahaha! His "dog" hostage??? what ya mean lol

[idontgiveaf]

True love confirmed boyz. Btw Adam hows ur search for tru lov goin

True love bruh 😍😍😍

[idontgiveaf]

don't be hard on yourself, we creatives love risk, it's part of who we are. Just got to find outlets for it that don't make you feel like shit afterwards and definitely don't punish yourself for trying something that you felt you wanted to do. You are in control.

Thanks bruh

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

@Adam Strange:

I think you are going to have to give up on one or more of those qualities. Why does she have to be intelligent? Intelligent people are often quite annoying.

[Adam Strange]

@Adam Strange:

I think you are going to have to give up on one or more of those qualities. Why does she have to be intelligent? Intelligent people are often quite annoying.

@BandD, Intelligence is just a personal preference of mine. I like smart women. They kind of open up the world for me. They make me think that I got a great deal in knowing them.

And feeling like you are getting a great deal is what good relationships are all about.

[Guillaine]

adam, I think I have an easier time mathematically with my duals than you considering there are a fair few SLI e6's out there but....the maths becomes even worse when you consider that those people would need to want/choose you back too.

[Adam Strange]

adam, I think I have an easier time mathematically with my duals than you considering there are a fair few SLI e6's out there but....the maths becomes even worse when you consider that those people would need to want/choose you back too.

@Guillaine, yes, it's an interesting problem.

The first female ESI I met, whom I thought at first was an EII and hence I mentally placed as being off-limits, wanted to move in with me, but she was too young at 22.
The second female ESI I met is an Artist and is just about fucking perfect, but she seems to prefer dating females and doesn't seem to be attracted to me. Lol.
The third ESI was an intern and moved away after three months, but there was no real chemistry there.
The next few ESI's I talked to were women on the forum, and that really did not go well.
The next ESI was a woman I dated from an Entrepreneurial Center who is sx-last and just too distant for my taste. Probably we could connect on So, since she's so/sp/sx and I'm sx/so/sp, but I'm not interested in another sx-last.
The next ESI is kind of nice and reminds me of my grandmother, but she's in a relationship with a male ESI and isn't looking left or right at the moment and it might take years for that Identical relationship to change, if it ever does.
The next ESI I dated is an image of Peggy Lee but is Avoidant, so she's not a Possible.
Now there's one I'm looking at who is not sx-last, but she's a lot younger than I am and she's 6' tall and that makes dancing a problem. (I'm looking for an sx-connection; an Fi equal. I asked an emotionless and calculating Chinese LII female whom I work with, how would it look for an old guy like me to go out with a taller, rail-thin, younger woman? She said people would think I am rich. Goddam rational. I don't want to be a trope, I want to be a partner.

Do I sound too choosy? Yes, I'm choosy.

Overall, though, I think my problems are manageable. I think the right woman will come along and we'll have no trouble being attracted to each other.
,

[Overthinker]

@Adam Strange why is their Attachment Style so important?

(At least I assume that’s what you mean when you say ‘secure’)

[Adam Strange]

@Adam Strange why is their Attachment Style so important?

(At least I assume that’s what you mean when you say ‘secure’)

@Overthinker, you haven't lived until you've been in a romantic relationship with a person with a non-optimal attachment style.

Alternately, if you keep finding that all of your own relationships keep ending (or not starting) in the same way, there might be an answer for that in Attachment Theory.

But here, I'll let you read about it:

https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/rel...tachment-style

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/sc...styles/1378133

https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Scie.../dp/1585429139

http://jebkinnisonforum.com/board/5/dismissive-avoidant


https://www.amazon.com/Avoidant-Love.../dp/B00O4QLPHI

https://jebkinnison.com/bad-boyfrien...achment-types/

[Guillaine]

@Guillaine, yes, it's an interesting problem.

The first female ESI I met, whom I thought at first was an EII and hence I mentally placed as being off-limits, wanted to move in with me, but she was too young at 22.
The second female ESI I met is an Artist and is just about fucking perfect, but she seems to prefer dating females and doesn't seem to be attracted to me. Lol.
The third ESI was an intern and moved away after three months, but there was no real chemistry there.
The next few ESI's I talked to were women on the forum, and that really did not go well.
The next ESI was a woman I dated from an Entrepreneurial Center who is sx-last and just too distant for my taste. Probably we could connect on So, since she's so/sp/sx and I'm sx/so/sp, but I'm not interested in another sx-last.
The next ESI is kind of nice and reminds me of my grandmother, but she's in a relationship with a male ESI and isn't looking left or right at the moment and it might take years for that Identical relationship to change, if it ever does.
The next ESI I dated is an image of Peggy Lee but is Avoidant, so she's not a Possible.
Now there's one I'm looking at who is not sx-last, but she's a lot younger than I am and she's 6' tall and that makes dancing a problem. (I'm looking for an sx-connection; an Fi equal. I asked an emotionless and calculating Chinese LII female whom I work with, how would it look for an old guy like me to go out with a taller, rail-thin, younger woman? She said people would think I am rich. Goddam rational. I don't want to be a trope, I want to be a partner.

Do I sound too choosy? Yes, I'm choosy.

Overall, though, I think my problems are manageable. I think the right woman will come along and we'll have no trouble being attracted to each other.
,

Yes, lol, dating is hard work!!! I guess you have to sort through all the mismatches to get to the matches, I'm doing the same. I have interacted with so many who are not dual seeking and just plain weird etc. Only a tiny percentage are actually looking for something like what I offer. Sp/sx seems a very good choice for us, two contraflows is an easier feeling day to day I find. I read anxious and secure are doable but avoidant is not really. My ex was avoidant- can confirm.

Like you say better to be choosy and have it last and help you love life and grow than keep having things not work after a short time.

[idontgiveaf]

@Adam Strange:

I think you are going to have to give up on one or more of those qualities. Why does she have to be intelligent? Intelligent people are often quite annoying.

That's true. I get along with average people. Intelligent people are usually aloof and know it all.

[Spermatozoa]

Sorry, I'm having relationship problem and doubt issues 

https://r.tapatalk.com/shareLink?url...1&share_type=t

Like can someone explain me if i should trust someone online that easily because I'm really really fukin confused. He pleases me well, he's a very sweet guy who knows what to say.

Like i kind of fell for it because my ex bfs were mostly introverted logical types so my exes are easy to read.. But this Fe lead i don't know how to approach this well..

If i should really put my guard down.. Or not.. He said he's serious about me..

And just this morning he said,

**gm <insert my name>. Did i tell you i love u yet <3**

Like.dude what the actual fuck.

If a guy tells you that, it feels good right?!

But im fukin confused if i will really believe on this words.

Enlighten me of the Power of Fe.

Thanks.

Don't worry, Fe-kun just wants to make you happy. Be a good girl and let Fe look after you, care for you and stroke you

[vesstheastralsilky]

No all Fe is genuine emotion.

That is why some hide or are quiet rather than express unpleasantness. When they are unpleasant, it took a hell of a lot to get that bad for them to show their hurt.