Socionics and Life

[Raver]

Do you feel that Socionics has improved, worsened or merely changed your life for the better and worse or had no effect at all? Personally, I feel that Socionics has changed how I look at people and can help better explain why I get along much easier with some people than I do with others. In the same time, there are aspects of people's behaviour that cannot be explained by Socionics at all so I feel one must tread the line when it comes to using Socionics' knowledge in real life. I'm curious to hear how Socionics has impacted your life.

[Iris]

Do you feel that Socionics has improved, worsened or merely changed your life for the better and worse or had no effect at all? Personally, I feel that Socionics has changed how I look at people and can help better explain why I get along much easier with some people than I do with others. In the same time, there are aspects of people's behaviour that cannot be explained by Socionics at all so I feel one must tread the line when it comes to using Socionics' knowledge in real life. I'm curious to hear how Socionics has impacted your life.

I'm glad to hear that you have found some usefulness in Socionics. I think it has helped me be aware that not everybody likes Fe. I especially tone it down when I am with my SLI friends. I am a little scornful of overdone Si valuing, but I understand now why it is important so some of my friends and I shouldn't be so judgmental. One really good thing that has come out of it is with a friend who has a conflict-filled super-ego (ILE-SEE) relationship with her sister. They really want to get along but something always goes wrong. I briefly explained the theory to my friend and told her to try toning down her Fe and Ne and to try not to be so offended by her sister's Si ignoring. They were able to have a successful week long vacation together after that tip, just from the ILE modifying her behavior and not pissing her sister off.

[Raver]

I'm glad to hear that you have found some usefulness in Socionics. I think it has helped me be aware that not everybody likes Fe. I especially tone it down when I am with my SLI friends. I am a little scornful of overdone Si valuing, but I understand now why it is important so some of my friends and I shouldn't be so judgmental. One really good thing that has come out of it is with a friend who has a conflict-filled quasi-identical (ILE-SEE) relationship with her sister. They really want to get along but something always goes wrong. I briefly explained the theory to my friend and told her to try toning down her Fe and Ne and to try not to be so offended by her sister's Si ignoring. They were able to have a successful week long vacation together after that tip, just from the ILE modifying her behavior and not pissing her sister off.

Socionics is useful for understanding why someone acts a certain way towards you, but on the other hand I find it can backfire if you type them incorrectly or try to rationalize certain behaviours that have nothing to do with Socionics. Your friend's super ego relationship with her sister reminds me of the super ego relationship with my SLE brother. We just naturally have an inclination to irritate each other in some way despite our best efforts. That's cool that your friend managed to improve her relationship with her sister by being more conscious of her main function and most valued function.

[Iris]

Socionics is useful for understanding why someone acts a certain way towards you, but on the other hand I find it can backfire if you type them incorrectly or try to rationalize certain behaviours that have nothing to do with Socionics. Your friend's super ego relationship with her sister reminds me of the super ego relationship with me SLE brother. We just naturally have an inclination to irritate each other in some way despite our best efforts. That's cool that your friend managed to improve her relationship with her sister by being more conscious of her main function and most valued function.

Oops, I should have said Super ego, not quasi! I will edit it. I think it worked because they were only spending a week together. I think the ILE would get tired of repressing herself after much longer. I think the SEE has a tendency to bulldoze her sister who is younger. In that situation, what is not type related, is that the SEE is older and thinks she knows best. But the week was nice.

[Raver]

Oops, I should have said Super ego, not quasi! I will edit it. I think it worked because they were only spending a week together. I think the ILE would get tired of repressing herself after much longer. I think the SEE has a tendency to bulldoze her sister who is younger. In that situation, what is not type related, is that the SEE is older and thinks she knows best. But the week was nice.

Ha, no worries. Yeah, that makes sense as it's possible to alter your behaviour temporarily, but to do so frequently would drive one insane.

[ashlesha]

how can a question like this be answered? socionics doesn't really affect anything except maybe your frame of mind. I don't see how it could make such a tangible difference in anyone's life that they would be able to measure it.

[Raver]

how can a question like this be answered? socionics doesn't really affect anything except maybe your frame of mind. I don't see how it could make such a tangible difference in anyone's life that they would be able to measure it.

Well, I don't think it will make a dramatic difference in one's life, however I think it has a subtle impact on how we interact with people based on how we perceive them. Over time this can accumulate to much larger changes imo. It comes down to mostly how seriously you take Socionics as well. It's had a less of an impact lately then it did when I first discovered the theory for that reason.

[Iris]

how can a question like this be answered? socionics doesn't really affect anything except maybe your frame of mind. I don't see how it could make such a tangible difference in anyone's life that they would be able to measure it.

Hmm, maybe the degree to which socionics affects you is type-related. Since I am all about Fe and improving communication, I see great opportunity in socionics as a tool.

[Amber]

It has brought some benefits in the sense that I find it easier to know what to expect of people once I relate them to a particular type. I can understand their motivations and see what they´re usually after (by way of how they work). In broad lines ...like some parameters of theirs. However it can also be hindering or useless when it it comes to certain intertype relations that you don´t see manifesting as they claim. Because imo the unconscious appeal of (or need for) a particular function (suggestive , mobilizing ...) doesn´t guarantee good communication with a person who "carries" it. And you can click damn well with people who don´t.

[Beautiful sky]

It has improved my life so so much. To know why others act and do the things they do in a social setting is priceless. To listen to my friends in bad relationships and know exactly what is going on from the other person's shoes and empathize with both them and their SO is so helpful to get the feelings of others in an objective sense rather than subjective as in "I can't understand why she's so fussy all the time, like everything bothers her, doesn't she find herself annoying?" instead it's "I get it that she's a very emotional and insecure type but these are the ways in which she can become a tougher person and stick up for herself; and, not be constantly emotionally taken aback"

[blackburry]

It's only helped me to understand myself a bit more. esp enneagram (b/c i'm a six).

[JWC3]

Socionics is fun and for the most part I enjoy using it to codify the observations I make about others.

I had a cultural psychology professor once who spoke on colors. He mentioned a study that involved taking various people from various cultures and showing them an assortment of colors. Basically it was found that if a culture didn't have a name for a color then individuals from that culture would have great difficulty recalling seeing it at all and instead would say they saw the closest color they could name. This made sense to me personally from relating it to a bank robbery and asking a witness what the getaway car was. If the witness didn't know the difference between a dodge and a ford they likely would just respond "It was a truck".

I feel that socionics works in a similar way. It doesn't really create behavioral patterns, it just labels things that already occur but may never have seemed important before or worth remembering or discussing. Basically socionics has helped me observe and understand the differences between a dodge and a ram beyond just using the descriptor "truck". I really like socionics jargon and to that end it has helped me understand and create meaning out of the observations I have of others. Has that helped or hindered me? Couldn't say.

However, even if socionic knowledge itself has had little to no actual impact on my life the people I've meet through it have, and I'm glad for that.

[macysmama]

It has been a negative addition to my life. I have always had my own, very complex, system in my head for understanding people. I have never been able to fully translate my system to socionics and now wish I had never looked into it at all because my system is now convoluted in my mind. I have also started studying people WHILE I live and interact with them, instead of being truly present with my friends and family. I guess it has sometimes helped me at least understand people I just can't stand, but I could have done that with just some common sense. Now I can explain it in socionics lingo, big deal. It doesn't change how I'm going to handle them, I already was pretty good at people. I am glad to hear it has helped others in a real tangible way in their daily lives.

[anndelise]

It helped me figure out some ways of helping my daughter, and some of our interpersonal conflicts with each other (such as me trying to be more concrete, and less tangents, less jumps, and less sharing of possibilities i saw).

It also helped me accept myself more. Prior I was constantly criticized for not being consistent, for having a million ideas without follow through, for "mood swings" between excitement over a new idea to frustration and depression because I didn't know how to make those ideas 'real'. I was forced to try to be more organized, more critical, more logical, more rational, to take a firm stance, and to stop considering other ways of looking at something...but it was always an uphill battle. After reading the NeFi descriptions and the elements and functions, everything about me fit into place and I finally realized that it's ok to just be me.

Though I am still working on the acceptance part, I also do not believe in limiting myself to 'just' Ne and Fi. If a situation calls for utilizing some other kind of info than I am familiar with, my understanding of the aspects help me figure some of that out.

And now, with my daughter 18yo and about to sign her first lease (with us as cosigners and paying her rent for a few months), I feel that I am finally free to be me. I can follow my ideas without feeling pressured to make them real. I can play without someone demanding I "act like an adult". Etc etc lol


I do think socionics is limited, however. There is so much more to a person than their type. Than their physical structure (blah VI). And that people don't fit stereotypes very well. And when people try to force others into boxes, they miss out on so much of that person's ...personhood. Their thoughts, beliefs, experiences, joys, sorrows, values, etc. And I think it's dehumanizing to ignore all that just so you can stick a label on their forehead and interact with your own made up image of who/what you think they are.

I don't tend to type people, though I might type situations and particular conflicts.
Of course, I still want to know what goes on inside people's heads, lol. But there are soooo many other theories and ideas out there. I don't feel a need to limit myself to one primary one. Thank goodness!!

[Olduvai]

Listen everyone: cognition is produced by physical processes. Just as your muscles drive your locomotion, just as your circulatory system drives your circulation, just as your digestive system drives your digestion, just as your respiratory system drives your respiration, and just as your reproductive system drives your reproduction, so does your nervous system drive your cognition. But it's hard to even separate the bodily systems like that, because they all support each other and intertwine. The mind to me is like the "blossom" of the body. The mind and the body truly are one.