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Thread: So/Sp vs Sp/Sx 4

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    Default So/Sp vs Sp/Sx 4

    Hello everyone,

    I'am stuck between those two stacking, so i'am wondering how would they differ? For a type 4 with a very strong 5 wing.

    Which one would be the more socially awkward? and how would they differ in their awkwardness?

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    I'am asking because i relate alot to the Sp/So description found here:
    https://oceanmoonshine9.wordpress.com/four-stacks/

    However i generally look more like the general Sp/Sx descritption.

    I relate to the shame description of So 4, but that might be due to being unhealthy. However i dont care about social hiearchies, my main goal is to be able to be myself and be good at what i like.
    I'am very concerned with Sp problems but rather because i feel that i'am bad at handling those issues by myself and i'am very afraid to end up with no roof and nothing to eat, i'am afraid of my security and also of the shame that not being able to substain for myself and being forced to ask for help would bring.

    The only thing i can relate to the Sx 4 is the anger associated with it. When i'am unhealthy, i tend to compare myself to people who have more support than me and feel hatred toward them, however it is not about attractiveness but rather people that seems to suffer less than me but still manage to get support that i have not(wether it is emotional or financial). In those situations i tend to think that i'am the only person who really suffers and the only one who no one cares about, hence feel like everyone is against me, hence hatred.

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    Olimpia's Avatar
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    Go back to the basics.

    There is a rather big difference between someone being Social instinct first or last.

    Do you care about the following or not?

    Sterlin Mosley:
    Social subtypes are focused on issues of the group, cooperation and shared values.
    This includes: Friendship Politics Rules Protocols Standards Social Values Mores Manners Guidelines Gossip Inclusion/Exclusion Appropriate/Inappropriate Fame or Notoriety Influence Civic Engagement Clubs Culture

    The social subtypes is the instinct which controls the human beings' inclination toward group activity. Issues such as what the group thinks or believes come to the forefront and influence the decisions and attitudes of the social subtype (even if they rebel against it). The social subtype primarily concerns themselves with how to go about in the world and make and maintain social connections. This is the type that is most likely to involve themselves in civic engagement, politics, or the pursuit of notoriety of fame. The focus is on making a valued contribution and being recognized for that contribution by their society or group. "Group" means many things to many people, but for the purposes of this discussion a "group" consists of 3 or more individuals. Groups can be as centralizes as a few select friends or clique or a strong identification with being from a country, state or particular culture. Whatever the case, when we move out of the individualized needs or comfort needs of self preservation and into the community needs of the social subtype we find someone who is often monitoring the social needs of the group and how to best meet the needs of the group. This does not mean that they deny their own self preservation concerns but the primary instinct shows us that which we are always consciously (and often unconsciously) monitoring. The social subtype person may say "but I don't like groups...." and this may be true, but there is always some finger on the pulse of what the group or community expects or demands of them, or a particular awareness of what the group needs.

    Many instinctual subtypes may manifest their instinct in an "anti" way; a method of pushing against the dominant instinct that may appear adverse to the instinctual concerns. In this way the social subtype may look "anti-social". We do not mean this as in the way we use it in common colloquial language of breaking laws and having complete irreverence for all social convention (although it can manifest this way), but rather as a way of resisting or going against the dominant social paradigm and being a social rebel (we see this frequently with 4s, 6s and 8s who have a self perception of being someone "outside" the group) but to the extent to which they are monitoring what the group does and doesn't do is the extent to which they are still tied to that group or community.

    Social subtypes often find they are naturally political (or apolitical) and know how to read the group and the groups' needs and respond to that depending upon their primary Enneagram style. For example the social Six may be most plugged into the the overall needs of the group in terms of safety and security (so can look self preservation at times), but they are concerned with the rules, protocol, and appropriate way to go about the world so as to avoid deviation (a major fear of 6s) or danger. This is your archetypal government worker who may dutifully work for the system but complain about or criticize the system and its rules in the company of trusted intimates. Or the quintessential sorority girl or fraternity boy who upholds the shared values of the organization and banding together to create a sense of common identity. Conversely there is the counter-culture rebel, or the trendy hipster, either way it's a focus on communal trends.

    Social subtypes often have a dispersed energy that can make them adept at interacting with others quickly to get the overview of a situation (or conversely feel extremely uncomfortable in groups if they are withdrawn types such as 4s, 5s and 9s). Social subtypes enjoy catching up with people but may not want to become embroiled in long deep conversations that take them away from the group at large. Their energy is derived from the community interaction, even if that means actively avoiding it.
    I get the intuitive impression you could be an unhealthy So/Sx who is going to their Sp/Sx shadow to fulfill their needs.

    The first and last instincts are the most neurotic when unhealthy.
    That's how So/Sx can have an Sp/Sx "shadow" and vice versa.
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    Thanks, that's very interesting.

    I already thought that when younger i used to be more So/Sx, but that's maybe because i had everything Sp handled for me. Now growing up i realise the struggles of the Sp world and learn to deal with it. However i'am quite sure i always was bad with Sx, even when young. I liked to connect with others but always needed a distance, like a safe place just for me.

    Do you have some links on the subject of Shadow stacking?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    Go back to the basics.

    There is a rather big difference between someone being Social instinct first or last.

    Do you care about the following or not?

    Sterlin Mosley:


    I get the intuitive impression you could be an unhealthy So/Sx who is going to their Sp/Sx shadow to fulfill their needs.

    The first and last instincts are the most neurotic when unhealthy.
    That's how So/Sx can have an Sp/Sx "shadow" and vice versa.

    Thinking about it i think the So/Sp is actually my "shadow" since i realized i take care about social scenarios when i'am unhealthy. Like ashamed of not having status, of being outcast,.. while i didnt care much about it when i was healthy. I think i have a natural tendency toward Sp but when healthy it flows more easily while unhealthy it get very nevrotic like i'am sure i'am going to die or end up losing everything and living in the streets.

    What would be my original stacking according to that?

    Thanks

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    Eccentric Neurotic Narcissist andreasdevig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    Go back to the basics.

    There is a rather big difference between someone being Social instinct first or last.

    Do you care about the following or not?

    Sterlin Mosley:


    I get the intuitive impression you could be an unhealthy So/Sx who is going to their Sp/Sx shadow to fulfill their needs.

    The first and last instincts are the most neurotic when unhealthy.
    That's how So/Sx can have an Sp/Sx "shadow" and vice versa.




    Interesting.
    I can't seem to make much sense of the instinctual variants. All three instincts seem to describe so many different, completely unrelated things. I guess I thought I was 4w5 So/Sp, and I relate to this So description, I suppose. But I feel like an Sx-driven person in a lot of respects too. But I'm wayyyy too gentle, shy and emotionally private to be Sx. But I never heard of this shadow stacking before. I think I become So when I'm unhealthy (browsing the internet too much, interacting there, searching politics, criticizing social norms, etc.), though it can also be seen as some Sx (trying to find someone to connect with (especially sexually/romantically). When I'm healthy, I do more Sx-things (art/creativity, etc.).
    I guess this would make me Sx/Sp? Still, I find it hard to see myself as an Sx-dom. I'm not aggressive or impulsive in the slightest.

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    Quote Originally Posted by andreasdevig View Post
    Interesting.
    I can't seem to make much sense of the instinctual variants. All three instincts seem to describe so many different, completely unrelated things. I guess I thought I was 4w5 So/Sp, and I relate to this So description, I suppose. But I feel like an Sx-driven person in a lot of respects too. But I'm wayyyy too gentle, shy and emotionally private to be Sx. But I never heard of this shadow stacking before. I think I become So when I'm unhealthy (browsing the internet too much, interacting there, searching politics, criticizing social norms, etc.), though it can also be seen as some Sx (trying to find someone to connect with (especially sexually/romantically). When I'm healthy, I do more Sx-things (art/creativity, etc.).
    I guess this would make me Sx/Sp? Still, I find it hard to see myself as an Sx-dom. I'm not aggressive or impulsive in the slightest.
    Hmm you could either be So/Sx after all (SO first is neurotic about So stuff as well to some extent, so they also might engage in what you did when unhealthy).

    Or you are Sx/Sp with a strong 9 fix influence. The stereotype of SX 4 being aggressive mostly stems from them also being 8 fix. Many Sexual 4s are 8 fix and hence will be significantly aggressive. But people like Prince, who I believe was 4w3 Sx/Sp (496 tritype) can have a gentler energy (though I don't think he's EII; EIIs have Se Polr , so they can be the gentlest sexual 4s)

    The third likely possibility is that you are a Sexual 9 with a strong secondary 4 fix.

    The fourth possibility is that you are Sp/Sx 4
    Last edited by Olimpia; 10-14-2018 at 08:28 AM.
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    Eccentric Neurotic Narcissist andreasdevig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    Hmm you could either be So/Sx after all (SO first is neurotic about So stuff as well to some extent, so they also might engage in what you did when unhealthy).

    Or you are Sx/Sp with a strong 9 fix influence. The stereotype of SX 4 being aggressive mostly stems from them also being 8 fix. Many Sexual 4s are 8 fix and hence will be significantly aggressive. But people like Prince, who I believe was 4w3 Sx/Sp (496 tritype) can have a gentler energy (though I don't think he's EII; EIIs have Se Polr , so they can be the gentlest sexual 4s)

    The third likely possibility is that you are a Sexual 9 with a strong secondary 4 fix.

    The fourth possibility is that you are Sp/Sx 4
    I see. Thank you for that information. A lot of possibilities. None of which includes So/Sp, interestingly. Another reason I tend to think I'm Sx-blindspot is that I've struggled with a lot of sexual shame over the years. For instance, if I see a woman I'm attracted to, I'm terrified of the people in the proximity finding out my feelings of attraction towards her, due to my feeling shame regarding those feelings.
    I value a lot of Sx-traits. Not things like [aggression] or [hurting people], though, but maybe that's tamed by the 9 fix like you said. I do believe I'm a 496 or something like that. But then again, some of the So-traits that I don't relate to (like wanting to fit in, being part of a group, or being extroverted/outgoing) seem to also be tamed (or even completely reversed) by the 4 core (So/Sp, at least). So it's very confusing.

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