Who do you prefer as a partner or a friend- kindred or illusionary?

[inabox]

The title of the thread is explanatory.

Your kindred sees the world as you do but their methods of dealing with it are very different from yours. You do however often understand each other with ease and arguments usually don't last long, much like the situation with your mirage.

Your mirage on the other hand has your dual's temperament and can look like your dual from a distance. Unpleasantness starts I suppose say if either both you and your partner are both 'obstinate' types. Your mirage sees the world very differently from you and thus your priorities are very different; however, you do to an extent, understand how the other makes their decisions in life, and often, you will able to respect.

Someone come on guys, let me know .

[The Exception]

Hard to say, I suppose I would slightly favor mirage because my PoLR is not in their ego block.

[inabox]

I have usually enjoyed mirages, unless they were dicks (see eldest sister and some love interests). You easily adjust to them and you totally understand each other ... in a somewhat spiritual way. I'm Fi-IEE, so there's that sense of deep emotional comfort and feeling of being truly heard and understood when things are good with my mirages.

The bad part though- well of course, they're different from my duals (I actually like my semiduals, very rarely; Alpha SFs can be very patronizing). My mirage and I are both obstinate negativists. Not fun when you have problems. Also we're both very, very obstinate; it sucks when no one wants to give in, and INTps are usually way worse at say, dealing with such relationship problems.

My kindred is a lot like me. A lot more fun. I'd explore the world and travel with them. I do need time off from them but there's this deep joy of knowing that someone SEES everything you see. And they can appreciate your thoughts and views on the same level. I used to think that I'd prefer Ne-ILEs to Ti-ILEs (Ne-ILEs have less trouble with their Polr, hence are more careful about coming off as a selfish dick; and plus they'd hit my Base more, pun intended; they're also more childlike which is appealing because I do have boosted Si and I sometimes enjoy taking care of my Ne-IEE and Ne-EII sister with it and they seem to like it, lots; my Ne-ILE brother in law is also very fond of me and sometimes embarrassed that he is not naturally hospitable or accomodating as I am, eg he appreciates my shows of 4DFe deeply but it makes him feel inadequate; I feel similarly about his 4D Te; ironically I could care less about Fe stuff most of the time because I don't care to see others making A LOT of effort to reciprocate and I suppose he feels similarly about Te).

It is horrible, horrible to have Fi-Ti clashes, where you do not have any respect for each other's POVs (OH YOU THINK I AM CRAZY, BITCH, YOUR IDEAS ABOUT HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS ARE BALLS THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE- BALLS; however it's sometimes easy to forgive those things because of shared bases, similar world views and our demonstratives hitting the others' Hidden Agendas sounds porny, which I believe my kindreds would appreciate).

However, I'm thinking being with an Ti-ILE may not be that bad. They demonstrate their 4DTe more and seem to have boosted Si (I don't know if it's been said but I think Ti-ILEs are about as graceful as Fi-IEEs which isn't a lot) .... that sorta, kinda makes them more family material in my eyes.

[FDG]

I don´t get along well with LSEs at all.

[Adam Strange]

I get along with Kindred LSE's as business associates, and LSI Mirage types as GF's.

[Olimpia]

I haven't had enough IRL experiences with either Kindred (ILI) nor Mirage (ILE) to be really able to tell which one I'd prefer in general.

I'm assuming that on a personal one-on-one level, I'd harmonize better with Kindred.
Whereas on a casual, let's-have-fun-and-relax basis, Mirage would be the way to go.

In group situations, I prefer being around fellow Fe valuing people, or at least Fe Demonstrative ones.
Alphas in particular keep the interaction more fun, light-hearted, and I'd prefer that in a social group setting.

However, when it comes to connecting to the other more deeply, a fellow Ni valuing person is much "better" for me (and I'm "better" for them).

This reminds me of the times I've hung out with my ILE-Ti brother. He'd play a video game and wanted me to be there and talk with him from time to time (in retrospect, I realize one of his Love Languages is probably Quality Time). Also, he'd enjoy it if I showed emotional participation and expressed myself with laughter, and so forth. He'd say playing the video game was much more fun for him that way. I was fine with doing that, though one time I had my laptop with me and was deeply engrossed in something, my eyes had glazed over and any expression must have left my face, I had sort of forgotten where I was, because he immediately commented on that: "Is everything okay? Why aren't you laughing?" Haha. At that moment, I became aware of how it's only the Fe (and Ti) that bonds us together, and that my most "precious" and core part about my inner self, my Ni, couldn't be shared with him in a way that he would value.

So basically, I'd say: Kindred for a romantic partnership, Mirage for friendship.

[Rebelondeck]

For me, illusionary by a small margin because they seem to make their intentions obvious and they seem open to a logical argument. I find that my kindred usually does not view the world the same but our methods are similar; there can be a sense of immediate familiarity among us, which can be a bad or good thing depending on the circumstance....


a.k.a. I/O

[Tigerfadder]

I find mirage way more rewarding but kindred is not bad. Id go for mirage 2/3 times over kindred.

Mirage have that "close-to-dual" character to it. The mirage have both creative, demonstrative that aids you in the way they suppose to. It is in the same order as your dual.

[Syynth]

For a friend? Kindred.

LSIs have always been a good influence on me. Being around them gets me to exercise my Se in a way that isn't as stressful as it is around Se doms. We talk in the same deadpan Ti manner and hold similar opinions on most subjects, which leads to some mutual understanding. However it can be a chore to try to introduce some variety in their lives.

I like mining LSEs for their seemingly endless stores of practical information and know-how, but if we need to work together I end up clashing with their Te.

For a partner? Neither.

[inabox]

@Syynth and @Adam Strange , I have read that kindred relations are better among irrationals and relationship between business partners is better for rational types. On an off topic note, how do you like your business partners? They see the world the way you do but make decisions very differently from you.

[Adam Strange]

@Syynth and @Adam Strange , I have read that kindred relations are better among irrationals and relationship between business partners is better for rational types. On an off topic note, how do you like your business partners? They see the world the way you do but make decisions very differently from you.

If by Business partners, you mean EIE's, I actually like the ones on the forum a lot. They make sense to me and they have an interesting and fresh perspective on things. I admire their cultural competency and broad knowledge.

However, IRL, I've only met two EIE's that I'm fairly sure of. The female EIE was probably e3, and I talked to her for only about 30 minutes and couldn't stand how she one-uped everything I said.
Me: "I live in Ann Arbor, it has a nice Art Fair." She: "Oh, I'm moving to New York where the best artists in the world live."
Me: "I was in Japan for business last year. It is a very interesting place." She: "My husband and I spend three weeks in Cancun every year, but next year we're going to France instead."
Rinse, repeat. Ad infinitum.

I get along really well with the male EIE whom I know. He is smart and well-read and has interesting friends, but I would never go into business with him. He has no sense at all of how to make a profit. The term "Business Partners" must have been first created for a socionics pair who were not LIE-EIE.

[Saoirse]

For friend, kindred is more comfortable since they are also intratims. I have two good ESI friends from my childhood, though I don't think we would become friends if we first met at our current ages. I don't really have any close ESE friends, though there's an ESE improv classmate I like. I generally don't have many close extratim friends. The ones I do have are LSEs...

For partner, I would really prefer neither, assuming average maturity levels. Maybe it would be okay if they are self-pres last in instincts, but no Te makes it very hard for me to be attracted. Urgh, okay, let me imagine a really hot, mature, and intelligent ESI and a really hot, mature, and intelligent ESE. I think I'd have to go with the ESI, just because I think Fi ego would be better for me than an ego block with Si but no Te. I'm really not a fan of Si.

[Syynth]

@Syynth and @Adam Strange , I have read that kindred relations are better among irrationals and relationship between business partners is better for rational types. On an off topic note, how do you like your business partners? They see the world the way you do but make decisions very differently from you.

I only know one EII irl. We maintain a cordial relationship, but we don't find each other very interesting.

[Exodus]

Illusionary is the obvious choice for me. Kindred can be decent for friendship but it's less attractive overall. Need some kind of complementation going on.

Actually, when I was a kid I had best friends who were LSE and LSI respectively. With the LSI it was always a problem of "what do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?"

[Myst]

The title of the thread is explanatory.

Your kindred sees the world as you do but their methods of dealing with it are very different from yours. You do however often understand each other with ease and arguments usually don't last long, much like the situation with your mirage.

Your mirage on the other hand has your dual's temperament and can look like your dual from a distance. Unpleasantness starts I suppose say if either both you and your partner are both 'obstinate' types. Your mirage sees the world very differently from you and thus your priorities are very different; however, you do to an extent, understand how the other makes their decisions in life, and often, you will able to respect.

Someone come on guys, let me know .

For romantic partner, Mirage but I no longer want to try Mirage, had enough kinda. Still, it was a lot better fit for that than Kindred (I tried LII-Ti only for that though, with him it didn't even truly start up after the very early phase. I was the female and with stronger Fe, way too many requests for it from him, very tiring and I didn't get anything back for it in terms of Fe).

For friendship maybe Kindred (and more LII-Ne than LII-Ti).

[inabox]

@Myst, @Economist and @thehotelambush, this is off-topic but you are a rational type; I had a question; I've read that for rational types, business partners are better than kindreds. How do you feel about ISFjs (Myst), EIIs (thehotelambush) and LIIs (Economist) of either subtype?

[Myst]

@Myst, @Economist and @thehotelambush, this is off-topic but you are a rational type; I had a question; I've read that for rational types, business partners are better than kindreds. How do you feel about ISFjs (Myst), EIIs (thehotelambush) and LIIs (Economist) of either subtype?

I do a lot better with ESIs IRL. Can share activities much more easily than with LIIs.

[Saoirse]

@Myst, @Economist and @thehotelambush, this is off-topic but you are a rational type; I had a question; I've read that for rational types, business partners are better than kindreds. How do you feel about ISFjs (Myst), EIIs (thehotelambush) and LIIs (Economist) of either subtype?

LIIs gravitate toward me like a moth to a flame. I am usually not romantically attracted to them because I do not find them terribly exciting or admire them like I do Te egos, but that is more of an individual, personal preference than an EII preference, I think. I have two close EII friends who are in love with their LII boyfriends.

There is definitely more of a shared view of the world between EII and LII than between EII and ESI, in my experience. EII and LII come from different places, but walk toward the same thing. EII and ESI come from the same place, but walk toward different things.

I generally trust LIIs to always have good intentions, which is important to me in friendship. There is comfort and safety, though not much stimulation, inspiration, etc. For some reason, their Se PoLR bothers me more than Se PoLR in my EII friends. Maybe something to do with instinctual stacking correlations... I can't deal with sp/sx, lol.

[lemontrees]

Illusionary. Although, Se is weird in physical relating

[silke]

Illusionary/mirage - greater compatibility of temperaments, our intro-extro orientations compliment each other, and few issues trying to grasp their creative.