Low Empathy problem

[summerprincess]

Soo, I'm not a psychopath and I care about people in general and the good of the human race but I got a 23 out of 80 on the empathy quotient test. Does anyone else have a low score and what can we do to fix it? Is this some indication I should switch my type? I don't think I have Asperger's syndrome either....
Here's the link: https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/

[squark]

My score was 17. I don't think it's a problem, or that there is anything to fix.

[summerprincess]

My score was 17. I don't think it's a problem, or that there is anything to fix.

Well I think it's a problem I want to showcase empathy to get along better with my duals and with people in general. I'm not that argumentative and I can be quite friendly so it comes down to becoming more aware of others' feelings.

[Jeremy8419]

Wait, if you're low on empathy, why would you think you're IEI? That would completely defeat the purpose of your dual being SLE. If both have low ethics, that wouldn't make any sense, would it?

[squark]

I think people scoring very high on this test are not necessarily high in empathy - they are just more delusional, thinking that they know what other people are thinking/feeling when they don't.

[Jeremy8419]

I think people scoring very high on this test are not necessarily high in empathy - they are just more delusional, thinking that they know what other people are thinking/feeling when they don't.

Well, it's not exactly like emotions are all that "sane" in the first place lol

But, of course you can't actually know, because its someone else's mind. Even if you guess at their inner states and ask them, they could tell you yes and just be lying lol

[lynn]

i scored 54/80. in real life i have very high empathy, though.
i've seen that empathy is associated with the social instinct, but i'm not sure whether this is true. from my experience it's at least plausible. (i guess there exist different forms of empathy which may be connected to the other instincts)

[Thelema]

Are you sure you care about people? lol.

I could be wrong, but I think IEI is the type I have most experience with. You seem caring, gentle, and personal. Superficially. You can say pleasant things, and heal people. You know what people like. That's Fe creative + Fi demonstrative. But in essence, you don't really care that much. Fi is not a priority to you. You care about your ideals, dreams, and about creating a pleasant emotional atmosphere. Think about it, your dual is the SLE. Fi PoLR. Only someone who is cold inside can dualize and tame a type like this. And you do that well.


INFjs and ISFjs, though, are your opposites. They seem standoffish and even cold. They are not charismatic, and they do not create pleasant emotional atmosphere too much. But on a deeper level, they focus on people.

[Beautiful sky]

Your duals just like company and someone to have fun experiences with. I show my empathy with LSE by listening and encouraging them to do the things that they like because it's their goal. I think your duals appreciate having someone around to go eat good food with, to see sunsets at the beach with, etc. I don't know how you would use empathy in that case. They don't like people feeling sorry for them. They don't need that. They need someone to give delicious stuff to and someone who they can play music to

[blank]

I got 27/80 on that test and people generally find that I'm quite empathetic in private. I'd take that test with a grain of salt. How the fuck does keeping up with trends have anything to do with empathy?

[Jeremy8419]

Are you sure you care about people? lol.

I could be wrong, but I think IEI is the type I have most experience with. You seem caring, gentle, and personal. Superficially. You can say pleasant things, and heal people. You know what people like. That's Fe creative + Fi demonstrative. But in essence, you don't really care that much. Fi is not a priority to you. You care about your ideals, dreams, and about creating a pleasant emotional atmosphere. Think about it, your dual is the SLE. Fi PoLR. Only someone who is cold inside can dualize and tame a type like this. And you do that well.


INFjs and ISFjs, though, are your opposites. They seem standoffish and even cold. They are not charismatic, and they do not create pleasant emotional atmosphere too much. But on a deeper level, they focus on people.

Gracias.

[Jeremy8419]

"Your Empathy Quotient score was 78 out of a possible 80."

This isn't testing for empathy at all. This is testing for INFj.

[Jeremy8419]

Lmao

Haven't taken the test but squark is probably right.

Starfall, I don't dislike you or have anything against you at all, but you're not thinking straight on this one. I lie. A lot. Wait. No, that's not the lie. Keep going.

[Pole]

I always scored super low in empathy and high for asperger's but never sought a specialist to confirm. People don't have issue with me so it's not a problem for me. I do have empathy and I don't score high for NPD.

[Muddy]

26/80

I think I'm decently empathic when in direct contact with people but I am not at all empathic towards things that do not effect me. For example, I don't give two flying shits about any of the stuff I hear happen on news but I will never intentionally be a dick to someone in their face.

In response to the OP, I think the fact that you are worried about not being empathic enough is in itself a sign you are ethical. A person truly low in ethics wouldn't even see it as a topic worthy to bring up.

[summerprincess]

26/80

I think I'm decently empathic when in direct contact with people but I am not at all empathic towards things that do not effect me. For example, I don't give two shits about any of the stuff I hear happen on news but I will never intentionally be a dick to someone in their face.

I care a lot about what happens on the news and to me it feels like my responsibility as a human being to help fix societal problems and improve peoples' lives. This is why I know I'm not some sort of sociopath. That's funny because I can be rude to peoples' faces if I don't like them, but I have this ..commitment to solving overarching problems and I want to do my duty as a person.

[summerprincess]

I think you were the one who posted a thread about BPD? If you do in fact have BPD, this is probably the reason for scoring low on empathy. It's not that BPD's can't ever feel empathy, it's just that their emotions are so strong that it's difficult to feel much of anything else. The good thing is that at least you are self aware of this issue and seek to fix it. There has been a lot of success with BPD and Dialectical behavior therapy.

Some people who have BPD are also on the spectrum for NPD, which unfortunately feels empathy to an even lesser degree.

I don't think that I have BPD just that I have some of its traits. I'm definitely not as impulsive, aggressive or self harming

[summerprincess]

Are you sure you care about people? lol.

I could be wrong, but I think IEI is the type I have most experience with. You seem caring, gentle, and personal. Superficially. You can say pleasant things, and heal people. You know what people like. That's Fe creative + Fi demonstrative. But in essence, you don't really care that much. Fi is not a priority to you. You care about your ideals, dreams, and about creating a pleasant emotional atmosphere. Think about it, your dual is the SLE. Fi PoLR. Only someone who is cold inside can dualize and tame a type like this. And you do that well.


INFjs and ISFjs, though, are your opposites. They seem standoffish and even cold. They are not charismatic, and they do not create pleasant emotional atmosphere too much. But on a deeper level, they focus on people.

Loll, I am standoffish and cold. My parents have told me that since the beginning of time! I make an effort to be charismatic/create an emotional atmosphere so people will like me but this was definitely learned over time haha. It is true that I care about my own ideals and dreams more though as you said.

[Attis]

21/80. I don't feel that I'm particularly lacking in empathy.

[Beautiful sky]

Are you sure you care about people? lol.

I could be wrong, but I think IEI is the type I have most experience with. You seem caring, gentle, and personal. Superficially. You can say pleasant things, and heal people. You know what people like. That's Fe creative + Fi demonstrative. But in essence, you don't really care that much. Fi is not a priority to you. You care about your ideals, dreams, and about creating a pleasant emotional atmosphere. Think about it, your dual is the SLE. Fi PoLR. Only someone who is cold inside can dualize and tame a type like this. And you do that well.


INFjs and ISFjs, though, are your opposites. They seem standoffish and even cold. They are not charismatic, and they do not create pleasant emotional atmosphere too much. But on a deeper level, they focus on people.

She does come off more pleasant than myself because she laughs a lot "haha" and she let's you know she's having fun.

[Cerelict]

Quit shitting yourself, none of your brain's working if you're taking an online test seriously. Avoid them altogether.

[Pookie]

I want to showcase empathy.

I haven't looked at the test so I don't know if it's valid or not, but if it is what you posted above could be apart of the problem. Wanting to be seen as something in the eyes of others is often indicative of someone less pre-occupied with being what they want to be than they are with other people seeing them as such. In addition, the act of continually projecting an Image to be seen as such is directly correlatable with narcissism which kills empathy.

But as far as constructive advice, Fake it until you Make it is both applicable to cultivating empathy and, if you have little, really the only way it can grow.

[Jeremy8419]

I always scored super low in empathy and high for asperger's but never sought a specialist to confirm. People don't have issue with me so it's not a problem for me. I do have empathy and I don't score high for NPD.

You realize that if you had that confirmed, you'd have an easier time getting a regular job that pays well, right?

[Jeremy8419]

Loll, I am standoffish and cold. My parents have told me that since the beginning of time! I make an effort to be charismatic/create an emotional atmosphere so people will like me but this was definitely learned over time haha. It is true that I care about my own ideals and dreams more though as you said.

"to be charismatic/create an emotional atmosphere" is Fe
"so people will like me" is Fi
You just equated the two ethics, which is a sign of low ethics.

As others have said, you're displaying the desire to appear ethical, which is very different than being ethical.

[Jeremy8419]

I haven't looked at the test so I don't know if it's valid or not, but if it is what you posted above could be apart of the problem. Wanting to be seen as something in the eyes of others is often indicative of someone less pre-occupied with being what they want to be than they are with other people seeing them as such. In addition, the act of continually projecting an Image to be seen as such is directly correlatable with narcissism which kills empathy.

But as far as constructive advice, Fake it until you Make it is both applicable to cultivating empathy and, if you have little, really the only way it can grow.

You ever read the dual descriptions by strat? IEI is basically described as an amorous narcissist.

The test actually had like 25% (random estimate) of the questions being directly j, another 25% being intuition, and the remainder being Fi.

[Sol]

Is this some indication I should switch my type?

Without normal typing data like videointerview your type is unknown.
While psychological tests are not perfect and may give bullshit sometimes. Well known MBT gave retyping match only 30%, for example.

[Jeremy8419]

I got 27/80 on that test and people generally find that I'm quite empathetic in private. I'd take that test with a grain of salt. How the fuck does keeping up with trends have anything to do with empathy?

Empathetic or sympathetic? Empathy is the pliability of your internal world to the emotional states of others. What you do from there is something completely separate.

Keeping up with trends is no different than keeping up with others wants and desires, which allows you to better empathize with their concerns.

[Jeremy8419]

Without normal typing data like videointerview your type is unknown.
While psychological tests are not perfect and may give bullshit sometimes. Well known MBT gave retyping match only 30%, for example.

Take the empathy test lol

[Sol]

Take the empathy test lol

I just don't care what they say.

[summerprincess]

"to be charismatic/create an emotional atmosphere" is Fe
"so people will like me" is Fi
You just equated the two ethics, which is a sign of low ethics.

As others have said, you're displaying the desire to appear ethical, which is very different than being ethical.

That's just how I think. I'm not particularly logical either and always have my head in the clouds so who knows what my type is at this point. But everybody wants others to like them and it's just lying to myself if I say I'm being friendly for no reason. Being friendly makes for a funner environment and makes others happy, and in turn makes them easier to get along with.

[FDG]

I got 42 at this. I think my approach is similar to what @Muddytextures wrote, I´d never actively be an asshole to someone but if some kind of happening is completely out of my "direct" realm, I won´t care about it.

Say some guy got badly wounded during a war, if he was transferred to a hospital near me and I could help I´d likely feel in need to do so, but if he was somewhere very far away I would probably not even register its happening.

[job]

I got 34 out of 80, even although I consider myself to be quite an insensitive and not a particularly nice person, so I am surprised it's higher than 30.

Things that happen far away, for instance on the news, tend not to bother me unless it is something close to my heart, so I picked slightly agree, some subjects I have read about or watched have got me very upset.

[ghost of forum past]

I've always thought the ability to "put yourself in another person's shoes" was correlated with high intuition. Not necessarily feeling what the other person is feeling, but imagining what your life would be like if certain circumstances affected you. I realize that this is but a portion of empathy.

SFs are highly emotional but often have a hard time with more theoretical situations, seemingly being limited by their own sensations and avoiding hypotheticals.

NTs have high intuition and should be able to imagine their lives being affected by a circumstance that does not presently concern them, however they may have a hard time dealing emotionally with the problems of others.

Going by this, we can conclude that NFs are generally the most "empathetic" types and STs are generally the least so. SFs and NTs should be in the middle somewhere, depending on type and sub-type, as they both possess some, but not all, of the traits related to empathy.

And yes, by definition, EIIs should be the most empathetic type. However, I would question the objectivity of one's self-conception if they were to score near the maximum of that poorly written test.

[Jeremy8419]

I've always thought the ability to "put yourself in another person's shoes" was correlated with high intuition. Not necessarily feeling what the other person is feeling, but imagining what your life would be like if certain circumstances affected you. I realize that this is but a portion of empathy.

SFs are highly emotional but often have a hard time with more theoretical situations, seemingly being limited by their own sensations and avoiding hypotheticals.

NTs have high intuition and should be able to imagine their lives being affected by a circumstance that does not presently concern them, however they may have a hard time dealing emotionally with the problems of others.

Going by this, we can conclude that NFs are generally the most "empathetic" types and STs are generally the least so. SFs and NTs should be in the middle somewhere, depending on type and sub-type, as they both possess some, but not all, of the traits related to empathy.

And yes, by definition, EIIs should be the most empathetic type. However, I would question the objectivity of one's self-conception if they were to score near the maximum of that poorly written test.

Are you considering the distinction between empathy and sympathy?
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy

EIIs aren't the most empathetic type? No matter how you spin "empathy," it is still on the ethics spectrum. Both ESI and EII have the same dimensionalities of ethics. The test isn't testing for Empathy, it's testing for specifically EII. Look at the questions... You have ethics questions, intuition questions, rationality questions, and Te questions.

The reason why so many are getting such low scores is so extremely obvious, but I am at a loss for how to help people see it. @Muddytextures Pretty sure you partially see it.

@mu4 @Contra @Reficulris y'all take this and wakeup please

[Sol]

The reason why so many are getting such low scores is so extremely obvious

This test was done for hard psychiatric patients. I doubt it was ever checked on validity for ordinary people.

[Pa3s]

16/80

[Jeremy8419]

This test was done for hard psychiatric patients. I doubt it was ever checked on validity for ordinary people.

I've checked it. Do it yourself if you want to check it too. We're on an internet forum.

[Aylen]

[ashlesha]

20

[Muddy]

Going by this, we can conclude that NFs are generally the most "empathetic" types and STs are generally the least so. SFs and NTs should be in the middle somewhere, depending on type and sub-type, as they both possess some, but not all, of the traits related to empathy.

I agree with this assessment.

For NFs empathizing and helping others is pretty much their reason for existence. For many of them its their primary tool for surviving since they often are lacking in other areas.

Many STs completely reject the notion of "giving in" to others and prefer to get what they want through force, intimidation, or their own practical know-how .

NTs like STs don't really care much about others but unlike STs they are willing to tolerate and be flexible with others when necessary since they are aware of their vulnerability.

SFs care about people as much as NFs but often misinterpret the exact needs and wants of others and end up giving kids socks for christmas.