SLE-IEI: ESTps competing for affection of INFps

[Schmoo]

I'm wondering if SLE's like competing for the affection of IEI's. It seems like they do, but then again, it seems like they don't. For example, I like this SLE and I have for a while, but it wasn't until I started focusing on another SLE that this one started trying to get my attention... again. Anyway, his roommates started flirting with me and when this happened, he actually started putting forth some effort to flirt with me, too. I'm thinking the competition factor fired him up? I dunno. So I started paying more attention to him and everything was so nice. But then, he kept getting mad whenever I would talk to other guys that were not his roommates (he didn't say that's the reason why he was mad, but I know that's what's going on, because I know these things). So... I don't get it. I'm thinking that SLE's like competing against other guys for their IEI, but they don't like it when their IEI shows any interest in those guys. So the guys can like the IEI, but the IEI can't like the guys. So, if I want to keep my SLE happy, I shouldn't show any interest in other guys? Does that sound right? Cause that's gonna be kinda hard, since I can be pretty flirtatious without meaning to be

[Eldanen]

I'm wondering if SLE's like competing for the affection of IEI's. It seems like they do, but then again, it seems like they don't. For example, I like this SLE and I have for a while, but it wasn't until I started focusing on another SLE that this one started trying to get my attention... again. Anyway, his roommates started flirting with me and when this happened, he actually started putting forth some effort to flirt with me, too. I'm thinking the competition factor fired him up? I dunno. So I started paying more attention to him and everything was so nice. But then, he kept getting mad whenever I would talk to other guys that were not his roommates (he didn't say that's the reason why he was mad, but I know that's what's going on, because I know these things). So... I don't get it. I'm thinking that SLE's like competing against other guys for their IEI, but they don't like it when their IEI shows any interest in those guys. So the guys can like the IEI, but the IEI can't like the guys. So, if I want to keep my SLE happy, I shouldn't show any interest in other guys? Does that sound right? Cause that's gonna be kinda hard, since I can be pretty flirtatious without meaning to be

I've been told that I flirt with everyone. I really don't even realize I'm doing it. I haven't been close enough to any SLEs to really give you good advice. They'll probably like that private, conspiratorial smile of soft warmth that IEIs are great at though. Give him some of that when you two are alone. It'll do wonders if it's genuine. SLEs don't like feeling they have to compete for affection. They want to feel like they are the only men on earth. Like most men, they have a desire to make a show of strength and be idolized for it.

[Azure Flame]

So far, if my IEI SLE forum has anything to say, when you get a bunch of duals in a room it turns into the SLE's making fun of the IEI's, and the IEI's accusing each other of not being IEI.

[Eldanen]

So far, if my IEI SLE forum has anything to say, when you get a bunch of duals in a room it turns into the SLE's making fun of the IEI's, and the IEI's accusing each other of not being IEI.

And then there's that one IEI that gets this look in her eyes that says, "The fuck did you say to me?" That's when all hell breaks loose.

[Eldanen]

I think text-based forums are too artificial to show intertype relations well. There are plenty of people I happily banter with on Facebook, then when we meet in real life I expect us to get on swimmingly, but it turns out they're completely different in person and awkwardness ensues.

The same happens with me. I wonder if I should seek out people I don't get along with online then. Lol. Maybe we'll get on swimmingly in real life.

[Schmoo]

I think text-based forums are too artificial to show intertype relations well.

YES!! Thank you. That's why I really don't give a crap about what happens online. There's something to be said about that moment when two duals look into each other's eyes and completely zone out.... you can't get that through any other medium than face-to-face. Those awkward moments....... *sigh*...... I FREAKING LOVE IT. I LOVE DUALITY.

[Azure Flame]

I think I just puked in my mouth a little.

[mu4]

I'm wondering if SLE's like competing for the affection of IEI's. It seems like they do, but then again, it seems like they don't. For example, I like this SLE and I have for a while, but it wasn't until I started focusing on another SLE that this one started trying to get my attention... again. Anyway, his roommates started flirting with me and when this happened, he actually started putting forth some effort to flirt with me, too. I'm thinking the competition factor fired him up? I dunno. So I started paying more attention to him and everything was so nice. But then, he kept getting mad whenever I would talk to other guys that were not his roommates (he didn't say that's the reason why he was mad, but I know that's what's going on, because I know these things). So... I don't get it. I'm thinking that SLE's like competing against other guys for their IEI, but they don't like it when their IEI shows any interest in those guys. So the guys can like the IEI, but the IEI can't like the guys. So, if I want to keep my SLE happy, I shouldn't show any interest in other guys? Does that sound right? Cause that's gonna be kinda hard, since I can be pretty flirtatious without meaning to be

Naw keep them jealous... because it's always good to watch Othello...

But in I think polr relationships, there needs to be some emotional shaking up otherwise people get bored.

[Schmoo]

I think I just puked in my mouth a little.

Good, hehehe That wasn't supposed to be a romantic reference, btw. I was describing some very real and observable effects of duality. It's pretty hilarious to watch!

[Schmoo]

Naw keep them jealous... because it's always good to watch Othello...

But in I think polr relationships, there needs to be some emotional shaking up otherwise people get bored.

But how much is too much? I don't want what happened with the last SLE to happen with this one. The emotional shaking up had gone on for so damn long that it's actually what ended up making me bored. It was just the same old games without actually getting anywhere..... totally pointless and boring. I was kinda like, "Yeah, I get that you can flirt with girls in front of me. Yeah, I get that you can enter unhealthy relationships in response to something I did. Is there anything else? No? Ok, see ya."

[mu4]

But how much is too much? I don't want what happened with the last SLE to happen with this one. The emotional shaking up had gone on for so damn long that it's actually what ended up making me bored. It was just the same old games without actually getting anywhere..... totally pointless and boring. I was kinda like, "Yeah, I get that you can flirt with girls in front of me. Yeah, I get that you can enter unhealthy relationships in response to something I did. Is there anything else? No? Ok, see ya."

I don't know.

Try standard pop psych response maybe.

[JWC3]

But how much is too much? I don't want what happened with the last SLE to happen with this one. The emotional shaking up had gone on for so damn long that it's actually what ended up making me bored. It was just the same old games without actually getting anywhere..... totally pointless and boring. I was kinda like, "Yeah, I get that you can flirt with girls in front of me. Yeah, I get that you can enter unhealthy relationships in response to something I did. Is there anything else? No? Ok, see ya."

I don't necesarily think that's what he meant, either way it's not what I've experienced with Fe-egos.

[kadda1212]

I wish someone would compete for me... *forever alone* ... wanders off into a corner and sulks... :/

[Eldanen]

I wish someone would compete for me... *forever alone* ... wanders off into a corner and sulks... :/

Agreed...

[Schmoo]

I wish someone would compete for me... *forever alone* ... wanders off into a corner and sulks... :/

Don't worry, Kadda! Your time will come It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I started having these kinds of experiences with SLE's. I used to expect the guys to do all the work, but now I've realized that I have to really put myself out there in order to be noticed. The more I put myself out there and possibly make myself look like an idiot, the more competition there seems to be over me lol. I really just feel like an idiot most of the time though, haha and that's ok

[kadda1212]

Don't worry, Kadda! Your time will come It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I started having these kinds of experiences with SLE's. I used to expect the guys to do all the work, but now I've realized that I have to really put myself out there in order to be noticed. The more I put myself out there and possibly make myself look like an idiot, the more competition there seems to be over me lol. I really just feel like an idiot most of the time though, haha and that's ok

I started to put myself out there a little bit, too. I used to be very shy and timid all throughout high school, it changed a little bit now in university. But I don't feel like there is a competition and I'm not sure whether I know any SLEs, not sure. All the guys I meet either flirt with me, but not seriously only for fun, or guys - Christian guys from my church - who sister-in-Christ-zone me, which is the meanest and ugliest thing for me: they pour out their hearts in front of me or let me pour out my heart in front of them, but then nothing more. :/ I need something serious to happen.

[Amber]

And then there's that one IEI that gets this look in her eyes that says, "The fuck did you say to me?" That's when all hell breaks loose.

spot on. My ex GF is IEI. But she was hell broken loose kind of often.

[Amber]

I started to put myself out there a little bit, too. I used to be very shy and timid all throughout high school, it changed a little bit now in university. But I don't feel like there is a competition and I'm not sure whether I know any SLEs, not sure. All the guys I meet either flirt with me, but not seriously only for fun, or guys - Christian guys from my church - who sister-in-Christ-zone me, which is the meanest and ugliest thing for me: they pour out their hearts in front of me or let me pour out my heart in front of them, but then nothing more. :/ I need something serious to happen.

This seems to be something encouraged by your attitude. You may be too nice , too open with those Christian guys. You seem to be one of those really sweet innocent IEIs. So far I have them either in my "crazy" catalog, or in the "unicorn" album. I've hardly seen a type with so much contrast. EIE looks more uniform.

[Eldanen]

spot on. My ex GF is IEI. But she was hell broken loose kind of often.

I'm guessing there were other issues there than "IEI"....

[Amber]

I'm guessing there were other issues there than "IEI"....

That's my guess, too. I've even asked a question about unhealthy IEIs to see if there are familiar symptoms. I suspected what MBTI calls the grip of the inferior function.

[kadda1212]

This seems to be something encouraged by your attitude. You may be too nice , too open with those Christian guys. You seem to be one of those really sweet innocent IEIs. So far I have them either in my "crazy" catalog, or in the "unicorn" album. I've hardly seen a type with so much contrast. EIE looks more uniform.

I'm not too open with just anybody, only the one I like and he thinks of me more as a sister, which I realized a little bit too late. :/
Nevertheless sweet and innocent and almost naive - that's me on the outside. People who don't know me well would never think I could get angry. That's because I keep quiet when I'm hurt, but only around unfamiliar people. Around my parents I have to learn to control my temperament. xD

[Amber]

Naw keep them jealous... because it's always good to watch Othello...

But in I think polr relationships, there needs to be some emotional shaking up otherwise people get bored.

This is probably the source of the problems my SLE-ESI parents have had. That's why the IEI is their dual, they can dance according to their tune without any problem, anticipate boredom and all the jazz. To me IEI seems too flexible in their relationships. It makes me think they don't know what they want or they don't want anything particularly.

[Eldanen]

This is probably the source of the problems my SLE-ESI parents have had. That's why the IEI is their dual, they can dance according to their tune without any problem, anticipate boredom and all the jazz. To me IEI seems too flexible in their relationships. It makes me think they don't know what they want or they don't want anything particularly.

A big dick, lots of money, reasonably attractive, and a good heart. Don't need anything else.

[Eldanen]

Why don't IEIs seem to get that? THEY are supposed to be the ethicals....?

Sometimes, ethicals aren't really ethical.