8s and 1s don't mix well

[Pole]

8s feel like you clash with 1s? I try to be reasonable and I have my own set of principles that I live by but whatever standards the type 1 has for others makes my blood boil. I kind of feel like this post is a cry for help. I don't know how to handle 1s since I have zero interest is even trying to please them, because at the end of the day they can never be made happy by others because no one is perfect and they aren't perfect but they hang on to this fantasy of being able to control other people into their own perfect idea of how they "should be", and the fantasy that they themselves are superior.. but even that delusion doesn't stop them from beating themselves up and obsessing over perfection.This is not directed at anyone on this site, I'm dealing with some 1s at work, and I my mother was a 1 but shes deceased. No one was good enough for her and she had to manipulate and monopolize everyone but her life was out of control but she never gave up trying to humiliate people passive aggressively in an attempt to change them. So working along a lady that is around my age but looks and act likes my mom is really hard. Talked to another 8 about it who knows way more about enneagram and he informed me that they will never change no matter how many times confront them because they can't spot "crazy" like 8s, they will go to their deaths rebuking others and even pissing off the wrong people and getting socked. This gal is obviously in a very unhealthy state so don't tell me I'm being unfair by mis-representing 1s, because this is about a particular person. As an 8 I don't understand her conflict style, because before I can tell her to blow it out her ass and stop playing make-belief she's a manager she rushes away and pretends not to hear me. I see that and think "what a fucking coward, what a fucking cuntrag, has to sneak up on me, yell, then rush away like a little fucking rat, can't even stick around to see what I do. she's lucky I'm not a psycho bitch...." I've reported her to HR and that helped for a few weeks but shes back to breathing down my neck even tho im not new and we are literal equals in titles. So how have you dealt with them, anyone, not just 8s, and 1s, why are some 1s like this and what's the best approach because my approach will lose me my job that pays the rent.

[DirectorAbbie]

I just figured 8s were the least-popular type, but 5s get along with them because 5s are thick-skinned.

[Adam Strange]

8s feel like you clash with 1s? I try to be reasonable and I have my own set of principles that I live by but whatever standards the type 1 has for others makes my blood boil. I kind of feel like this post is a cry for help. I don't know how to handle 1s since I have zero interest is even trying to please them, because at the end of the day they can never be made happy by others because no one is perfect and they aren't perfect but they hang on to this fantasy of being able to control other people into their own perfect idea of how they "should be", and the fantasy that they themselves are superior.. but even that delusion doesn't stop them from beating themselves up and obsessing over perfection.This is not directed at anyone on this site, I'm dealing with some 1s at work, and I my mother was a 1 but shes deceased. No one was good enough for her and she had to manipulate and monopolize everyone but her life was out of control but she never gave up trying to humiliate people passive aggressively in an attempt to change them. So working along a lady that is around my age but looks and act likes my mom is really hard. Talked to another 8 about it who knows way more about enneagram and he informed me that they will never change no matter how many times confront them because they can't spot "crazy" like 8s, they will go to their deaths rebuking others and even pissing off the wrong people and getting socked. This gal is obviously in a very unhealthy state so don't tell me I'm being unfair by mis-representing 1s, because this is about a particular person. As an 8 I don't understand her conflict style, because before I can tell her to blow it out her ass and stop playing make-belief she's a manager she rushes away and pretends not to hear me. I see that and think "what a fucking coward, what a fucking cuntrag, has to sneak up on me, yell, then rush away like a little fucking rat, can't even stick around to see what I do. she's lucky I'm not a psycho bitch...." I've reported her to HR and that helped for a few weeks but shes back to breathing down my neck even tho im not new and we are literal equals in titles. So how have you dealt with them, anyone, not just 8s, and 1s, why are some 1s like this and what's the best approach because my approach will lose me my job that pays the rent.

I don't think I know any e1's IRL. There might be a reason for that, IDK.
As for what you can do about her, just take her out behind the dumpster and beat the crap out of her.
Joke! Don't do that!
Your friend is probably right about her not changing. Most people don't. So you either make peace with her somehow, or distance yourself from her somehow and thereby minimize contact.

However, if you want to deal with her up close more effectively, you will do best by thinking about her differently. This might not be easy, but it can work if you really want to get along with her and make your life easier. First, you know that she's scared of you by the way she attacks and then runs away, right? Your goal is to make her less scared of you. Your real goal is to see her as a human being who could be your friend, and not your mother, because people react to the way you think about them, not by what you say to them. So you have to start by thinking about her in a way that she doesn't suspect involves you killing her. Here's how to do that that doesn't involve a pre-frontal lobotomy on your part, and doesn't involve lying to yourself.

Every time you see her, every time she is standing in front of you, think of that one thing about her that you really respect. Maybe she has good taste in hair styles. Maybe she is the fastest banana peeler you know. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you really do respect that one thing about her. The rest of her can be a flaming bitch, but you are going to concentrate on that one thing that you respect about her when you talk to her. You don't even have to tell her what it is, you just have to think about it.
You don't have to please her. You don't have to like her. You just have to concentrate on that one thing that you respect about her. Don't let it slip from your mind.
When you do that, she will somehow figure out (IDK how, I'm not good with feels) that you respect something about her. Because you really do. Repeatedly doing this one thing will eventually change her opinion of you. She'll be nice to you, because being respected is something that every human being wants, almost more than anything, and if you respect her, she will want more of that. She will try to be that respectable person in your eyes. She might even help you in some way.
Give it a try. It might save your job.

If that doesn't work (and it has always worked for me), there's always the dumpster and another job somewhere. Just keep in mind that there are more e1's out there, more people that will conflict with you at work, so this is a problem that is yours to solve.

[Pole]

Adam, here's the kicker: when I first started she was fast becoming my work buddy. Then she flipped her switch overnight, I have NO clue as to why tho... what drew me to her at first was that we share a dark sense of humor. But I don't respect little shit talkers and her and another shit talker like to gang up on me. I called them out (politely) in todays meeting and they backed off a bit. I say "they" because the type 1 chick and this older lady are sewn at the hip to form a co-dependent blob of shit talking duality. I don't even go to them for anything and I don't need to make peace. I need them both to stay the hell away from me because I never did anything to them. So, today I requested to switch positions so that might help.

[Pole]

I just figured 8s were the least-popular type, but 5s get along with them because 5s are thick-skinned.

5s get along with who

[Adam Strange]

Adam, here's the kicker: when I first started she was fast becoming my work buddy. Then she flipped her switch overnight, I have NO clue as to why tho... what drew me to her at first was that we share a dark sense of humor. But I don't respect little shit talkers and her and another shit talker like to gang up on me. I called them out (politely) in todays meeting and they backed off a bit. I say "they" because the type 1 chick and this older lady are sewn at the hip to form a co-dependent blob of shit talking duality. I don't even go to them for anything and I don't need to make peace. I need them both to stay the hell away from me because I never did anything to them. So, today I requested to switch positions so that might help.

Ninja, your situation is perfectly described in Helen Palmer's book "The Enneagram in Love and Work". Palmer basically said that if there is a conflict pair in the enneagram, it is the e8 and the e1. She also said that the two will get along at first, but then things will inevitably go downhill fast. Sounds like she perfectly described your situation.

Let me know if you can find that book in the library, or if you'd like me to send you the pertinent sections. They only cover about six pages, so it might not be worth buying the book for that part alone, but I'd recommend buying the book anyway. The book is incredibly great.
Helen Palmer knows what she is talking about when it comes to the Enneagram. She self-types e6, and I think she is LSI, too. You can find some of her videos on Youtube, but the e1-e8 stuff seems to only be in that particular book.

Good luck. I hope things get better.

[Pole]

Ninja, your situation is perfectly described in Helen Palmer's book "The Enneagram in Love and Work". Palmer basically said that if there is a conflict pair in the enneagram, it is the e8 and the e1. She also said that the two will get along at first, but then things will inevitably go downhill fast. Sounds like she perfectly described your situation.

Let me know if you can find that book in the library, or if you'd like me to send you the pertinent sections. They only cover about six pages, so it might not be worth buying the book for that part alone, but I'd recommend buying the book anyway. The book is incredibly great.
Helen Palmer knows what she is talking about when it comes to the Enneagram. She self-types e6, and I think she is LSI, too. You can find some of her videos on Youtube, but the e1-e8 stuff seems to only be in that particular book.

Good luck. I hope things get better.

Sounds like I book I would buy/read anyway. And it sure sounds like me and the 1, thanks for the responses, the book will help.

[DirectorAbbie]

5s get along with who

5s get along with 8s?

[Pole]

5s get along with 8s?

Good to know. (there's a 5 at my job I like but he's wayyyy older... 5s can be so cool, at any age, wish he liked me.) : /

[Adam Strange]

5s get along with 8s?

I've always gotten along well with e5's. E8's and E5's share a line of integration/disintegration, and that supposedly enables them to understand each other. In some ways, they can "become" each other.

Heck, I married an e5 and was pretty happy about that part of things. I find e5's to be very intelligent, and their introversion balances my extroversion.

Helen Palmer said in "The Enneagram in Love and Work", "The (E8) Boss is arguably the enneagram's most assertive type, and the (E5) is the most retracted. Eights want more, and Fives have minimal needs. Eights are outer-directed, and Fives retreat to privacy. Yet despite their obvious differences this is a frequently paired couple, and the two share an intrinsic affinity. Positioned as each other's point of security and stress, long-term partners begin to resemble each other. After years of living together, the aggressive Boss looks remarkably tame and the Observer seems to have taken assertiveness training."

"In this relationship a successful marriage of qualities begets an Observer who springs into action and a patient Boss who can wait."

[maniac]

It's not just 8 and 1s. Everyone dislikes ones unless they're healthy. My boss who was 1 made me cry once <,< Also my mom is a 2w1 and shes a huge pain in the ass. Everytime she comes home she complains about a coworker or a customer. It's always their fault and not hers. I tell her, so why don't you complain to them then instead of coming home and letting out all your negative energy here? But she won't, i guess its a 2 thing.
I think 1w9 are easier to handle because then you don't have the manipulation part.

Btw I think the whole "liking the person of your integration line" is total bs. Yes you can like them but you wont like them just cause of that. 2s think I'm too unhappy and ungrateful, show too little positive emotion etc.

[yeves]

no matter how many times confront them because they can't spot "crazy" like 8s, they will go to their deaths rebuking others ...

Someone has been giving you and @Ghost some awful enneagram stereotypes.

Type 1 is described as the most reasonable, common-sense type that will "spot the crazy" because they are so non-nonsense and level-headed themselves. They also hold their anger in. My gran is a 1 and while she'll work up frustration she never behaves like what you describe. 1s don't like showing their anger, it makes them feel bad about themselves, which is what they want to avoid.

Any random angry person bringing negative energy your way does not make them a Type One in the Enneagram.

[maniac]

Someone has been giving you and @Ghost some awful enneagram stereotypes.

Type 1 is described as the most reasonable, common-sense type that will "spot the crazy" because they are so non-nonsense and level-headed themselves. They also hold their anger in. My gran is a 1 and while she'll work up frustration she never behaves like what you describe. 1s don't like showing their anger, it makes them feel bad about themselves, which is what they want to avoid.

Any random angry person bringing negative energy your way does not make them a Type One in the Enneagram.

Many people dislike 1s because alot of the time they're extremely hard to please and hard on others because they need is *perfection*. Also no one stated that "any random angry person bringing negative energy you way makes them a 1"

Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience.At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.

Average Levels
Level 4: Dissatisfied with reality, they become high-minded idealists, feeling that it is up to them to improve everything: crusaders, advocates, critics. Into "causes" and explaining to others how things "ought" to be.
Level 5: Afraid of making a mistake: everything must be consistent with their ideals. Become orderly and well-organized, but impersonal, puritanical, emotionally constricted, rigidly keeping their feelings and impulses in check. Often workaholics—"anal-compulsive," punctual, pedantic, and fastidious.
Level 6: Highly critical both of self and others: picky, judgmental, perfectionistic. Very opinionated about everything: correcting people and badgering them to "do the right thing"—as they see it. Impatient, never satisfied with anything unless it is done according to their prescriptions. Moralizing, scolding, abrasive, and indignantly angry.
Unhealthy Levels
Level 7: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions.
Level 8: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrongdoing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.
Level 9: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of wrongdoers. Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders.

[Pole]

Someone has been giving you and @Ghost some awful enneagram stereotypes.

Type 1 is described as the most reasonable, common-sense type that will "spot the crazy" because they are so non-nonsense and level-headed themselves. They also hold their anger in. My gran is a 1 and while she'll work up frustration she never behaves like what you describe. 1s don't like showing their anger, it makes them feel bad about themselves, which is what they want to avoid.

Any random angry person bringing negative energy your way does not make them a Type One in the Enneagram.

Re-read the part where I made it clear that I was describing a single individual in an unhealthy state.

[yeves]

Re-read the part where I made it clear that I was describing a single individual in an unhealthy state.

You named the thread "8s and 1s don't mix well" attributing what happened between you and this girl to *all* 8 & 1 relationships out there.

If you meant this single individual who's unhealthy then why extend this to all possible interactions between these two types?

There is an 8 and a 1 at my workplace and their interactions are generally respectful and courteous. I've never seen the 1 ever scolding the 8 or "breathing down their neck". In fact she seems to admire the 8, because 1s with their perfectionist trait also admire strong people.

Many people dislike 1s because alot of the time they're extremely hard to please and hard on others because they need is *perfection*. Also no one stated that "any random angry person bringing negative energy you way makes them a 1"

You can say that about any type. Many people dislike unhealthy 4s because of how sad, self-pitying, and impossible to please and make happy they are. Many people dislike unhealthy 3s because they'll do anything for success, even if it means walking on the heads of others. Every type has some ideal that others are not going to be living up to, and if you read carefully about this girl there was no mention of moralizing or being too orderly, only that this girl is playing "make-belief she's a manager", increasing her importance on fake grounds, which is a trait of an unhealthy 3 and not like many 1s.

[Pole]

You named the thread "8s and 1s don't mix well" attributing what happened between you and this girl to *all* 8 & 1 relationships out there.

If you meant this single individual who's unhealthy then why extend this to all possible interactions between these two types?

There is an 8 and a 1 at my workplace and their interactions are generally respectful and courteous. I've never seen the 1 ever scolding the 8 or "breathing down their neck". In fact she seems to admire the 8, because 1s with their perfectionist trait also admire strong people.


You can say that about any type. Many people dislike unhealthy 4s because of how sad, self-pitying, and impossible to please and make happy they are. Many people dislike unhealthy 3s because they'll do anything for success, even if it means walking on the heads of others. Every type has some ideal that others are not going to be living up to, and if you read carefully about this girl there was no mention of moralizing or being too orderly, only that this girl is playing "make-belief she's a manager", increasing her importance on fake grounds, which is a trait of an unhealthy 3 and not like many 1s.

You're using the name of my thread to dismiss the fact that I'm talking about one person? Did you read the book Adam Strange suggested explaining why 1s and 8s can clash? You proved your point, you know nice enneagram type 1s Thanks for the enlightenment.

[maniac]

You can say that about any type. Many people dislike unhealthy 4s because of how sad, self-pitying, and impossible to please and make happy they are. Many people dislike unhealthy 3s because they'll do anything for success, even if it means walking on the heads of others. Every type has some ideal that others are not going to be living up to, and if you read carefully about this girl there was no mention of moralizing or being too orderly, only that this girl is playing "make-belief she's a manager", increasing her importance on fake grounds, which is a trait of an unhealthy 3 and not like many 1s.

Other types dont have the hyper-intolerance of others and cant rest about it

[squark]

why are some 1s like this and what's the best approach because my approach will lose me my job that pays the rent.

What specifically makes you think she's a 1? An unhealthy 1 is critical and rigid and self-righteous - think the stereotype of the old lady librarian shushing people. She's right, she knows she's right and she alone will fix things in a direct manner. This whole chaotic pot-stirring and gossiping behavior doesn't fit. So why do you think she's a 1?

Adding this description of more typical 8-1 interaction: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/r...-1-with-type-8

Also, examples of 1s at different health levels include in my opinion:

Normal to Healthy: Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird and Constantine Levin in Anna Karenina (both are prob sp/so)
Unhealthy: the preacher in The Scarlet Letter (openly condemning but privately flagellating himself)

[chrys]

As a Triple Withdrawn type and e9 of the body triad, I also conflict with unhealthy, controlling 1s who try to violate my interests and wellbeing for the sake of letting their Super-Ego have control of the whole place, arguably taking up just as much space as an 8 does but in a way that is more personally offensive. I've learned that, a certain 1 in my life tends to throw out petty passive aggressive insults in a way that you can't respond to because it comes off as a sarcastic rhetorical question ("Geez, I wonder if you could ever say something smart just once in your life..." "Wow do you ever stop eating") and then if you say something back as a counter-argument she always responds with "Oh ok" and walks away. As someone who actually gets offended by other's willing ignorance of knowing who I am, this bothers me so much. 60% of what she says is a sarcastic and negative opinion or comment, which means that 60% of the time or more I just don't even look at her anymore and give the silent treatment. I just wish they'd be more upfront about it and allow me to shut her down But I get along with most people for the most part, just not people who scream and complain when something doesn't go their way and then refuse to listen.

[squark]

As a Triple Withdrawn type and e9 of the body triad, I also conflict with unhealthy, controlling 1s who try to violate my interests and wellbeing for the sake of letting their Super-Ego have control of the whole place, arguably taking up just as much space as an 8 does but in a way that is more personally offensive. I've learned that, a certain 1 in my life tends to throw out petty passive aggressive insults in a way that you can't respond to because it comes off as a sarcastic rhetorical question ("Geez, I wonder if you could ever say something smart just once in your life..." "Wow do you ever stop eating") and then if you say something back as a counter-argument she always responds with "Oh ok" and walks away. As someone who actually gets offended by other's willing ignorance of knowing who I am, this bothers me so much. 60% of what she says is a sarcastic and negative opinion or comment, which means that 60% of the time or more I just don't even look at her anymore and give the silent treatment. I just wish they'd be more upfront about it and allow me to shut her down But I get along with most people for the most part, just not people who scream and complain when something doesn't go their way and then refuse to listen.

Yeah, except 1s actually are direct. Passive-aggressive is usually a phobic 6 or a 9. Could be other types too, but it's not something that is typically associated with E1s.

[Myst]

Someone has been giving you and @Ghost some awful enneagram stereotypes.

Type 1 is described as the most reasonable, common-sense type that will "spot the crazy" because they are so non-nonsense and level-headed themselves. They also hold their anger in. My gran is a 1 and while she'll work up frustration she never behaves like what you describe. 1s don't like showing their anger, it makes them feel bad about themselves, which is what they want to avoid.

Any random angry person bringing negative energy your way does not make them a Type One in the Enneagram.

1 sx can overtly show anger just fine. 1 sx is the countertype.

[chrys]

Yeah, except 1s actually are direct. Passive-aggressive is usually a phobic 6 or a 9. Could be other types too, but it's not something that is typically associated with E1s.

She's definitely a 6 head type I think, very anxious and easily sees mistakes and things that seem off, very reactive and asks a lot of questions so she can know everything that's going on.. but I don't know how a 9 could be so ethically offensive and territorial. o-0

[squark]

She's definitely a 6 head type I think, very anxious and easily sees mistakes and things that seem off, very reactive and asks a lot of questions so she can know everything that's going on.. but I don't know how a 9 could be so ethically offensive and territorial. o-0

I was commenting on types being indirect and passive aggressive:

of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials.

I don't buy into the tri-type theory personally.

[yeves]

You're using the name of my thread to dismiss the fact that I'm talking about one person? Did you read the book Adam Strange suggested explaining why 1s and 8s can clash? You proved your point, you know nice enneagram type 1s Thanks for the enlightenment.

I wasn't dismissing your story but pointing out that if you had disagreements with one person, it doesn't mean 1s and 8s don't mix and don't get along, which is what you're insisting on. See the 1 & 8 compatibility summary in squark's post--it lists plenty of positives and brings up that these two types together can be a real powerhouse working towards the same cause. It's not even certain that you're dealing with a 1 because besides being mean to you many of these girl's attitudes are not alike the type.

Other types dont have the hyper-intolerance of others and cant rest about it

At low health levels any type can become intolerant and mean towards others, from low health level descriptions of other types:

Type 3 - Maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them. Delusionally jealous of others. Become vindictive, attempting to ruin others' happiness. Relentless, obsessive about destroying whatever reminds them of their own shortcomings and failures.
Type 4 - Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them.
Type 6 - Feeling persecuted, that others are "out to get them," they lash-out and act irrationally, bringing about what they fear. Fanaticism, violence.
Type 2 - Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others.
Type 8 - Develop delusional ideas about their power, invincibility, and ability to prevail: megalomania, feeling omnipotent, invulnerable. Recklessly over-extending self. Vengeful, barbaric, murderous.
Type 5 - Highly unstable and fearful of aggressions: they reject and repulse others and all social attachments.

1 sx can overtly show anger just fine. 1 sx is the countertype.

SX 1's anger is sexual--there is no sexual context here.

[Pole]

I wasn't dismissing your story but pointing out that if you had disagreements with one person, it doesn't mean 1s and 8s don't mix and don't get along, which is what you're insisting on. See the 1 & 8 compatibility summary in squark's post--it lists plenty of positives and brings up that these two types together can be a real powerhouse working towards the same cause. It's not even certain that you're dealing with a 1 because besides being mean to you many of these girl's attitudes are not alike the type.


At low health levels any type can become intolerant and mean towards others, from low health level descriptions of other types:

Type 3 - Maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them. Delusionally jealous of others. Become vindictive, attempting to ruin others' happiness. Relentless, obsessive about destroying whatever reminds them of their own shortcomings and failures.
Type 4 - Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them.
Type 6 - Feeling persecuted, that others are "out to get them," they lash-out and act irrationally, bringing about what they fear. Fanaticism, violence.
Type 2 - Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others.
Type 8 - Develop delusional ideas about their power, invincibility, and ability to prevail: megalomania, feeling omnipotent, invulnerable. Recklessly over-extending self. Vengeful, barbaric, murderous.
Type 5 - Highly unstable and fearful of aggressions: they reject and repulse others and all social attachments.


SX 1's anger is sexual--there is no sexual context here.

I'm well aware each type can be unhealthy. Did this post strike a chord with you or something? You seem offended. Or confused. As if you can't understand anything I've said, your points are irrelevant. Talking to you has been like talking to Helen Keller, wasted effort. Next time I make a post keep scrolling.

[Chae]

The explanation why they can clash is their micro/macro orientation. `Feral´ 8s protect the ones close to them and defend themselves, 1s do the same less aggressively but moralistically on a global and idealistic scale. It's not about protection either, but perfection.

While the 8 is already punching the person that threatened them at close range, a 1 is still pointing out generally flawed behavior caused by some sort of misdemeanour - even targeting people they love. An 8 could never do that unless they feel betrayed.

[Chae]

I don't think I know any e1's IRL. There might be a reason for that, IDK.
As for what you can do about her, just take her out behind the dumpster and beat the crap out of her.
Joke! Don't do that!

If that doesn't work (and it has always worked for me), there's always the dumpster and another job somewhere.

Adam



is back at it again, everybody hiiiideeee

[Myst]

SX 1's anger is sexual--there is no sexual context here.

?! Do you mean they can get angry only in bed?

I wasn't dismissing your story but pointing out that if you had disagreements with one person, it doesn't mean 1s and 8s don't mix and don't get along, which is what you're insisting on.

She's not claiming that. You read her OP a bit too superficially, see: "This gal is obviously in a very unhealthy state so don't tell me I'm being unfair by mis-representing 1s, because this is about a particular person". Also: "So how have you dealt with them, anyone, not just 8s, and 1s, why are some 1s like this".

[Pole]

?! Do you mean they can get angry only in bed?




She's not claiming that. You read her OP a bit too superficially, see: "This gal is obviously in a very unhealthy state so don't tell me I'm being unfair by mis-representing 1s, because this is about a particular person". Also: "So how have you dealt with them, anyone, not just 8s, and 1s, why are some 1s like this".

Maybe they enjoy a good hate-fuck from time to time?

[Myst]

The explanation why they can clash is their micro/macro orientation. `Feral´ 8s protect the ones close to them and defend themselves, 1s do the same less aggressively but moralistically on a global and idealistic scale. It's not about protection either, but perfection.

While the 8 is already punching the person that threatened them at close range, a 1 is still pointing out generally flawed behavior caused by some sort of misdemeanour - even targeting people they love. An 8 could never do that unless they feel betrayed.

Funnily enough, I'm a bit between the two here. Eh, good thing I don't believe in enneagram tritype.

[Bertrand]

(unhealthy) 8s really rub me the wrong way, because I feel like they basically conflate people finding it not worth it to fight them over things with actually being correct. But they intentionally make it not worth it; in other words, they come on so strong they essentially intimidate everyone around them and then justify their behavior by saying to themselves, in effect "if they wanted it more they'd fight me for it, therefore I'm justified in taking it"--which is probably why they come into conflict with 1's--because I know if I thought that was going on I'd fight them on general principle. I also feel like this kind of behavior is basically responsible for all kinds of unnecessary suffering in the world, because they essentially overshoot the mark and take it out on everyone else (everyone else is forced to compensate for their aggression i.e.: a net drain on the system--not a contributor--thieves and bullies). Barbaric is exactly how I'd describe it. Nietzsche once said "I deem you capable of all evil--now I demand the good." Its great that they have teeth ("no one praises the dog with no teeth who does not bite"), but it reminds me of the difference between petty thugs and professional soldiers: strength without control is not real strength.

[Pole]

(unhealthy) 8s really rub me the wrong way, because I feel like they basically conflate people finding it not worth it to fight them over things with actually being correct. But they intentionally make it not worth it; in other words, they come on so strong they essentially intimidate everyone around them and then justify their behavior by saying to themselves, in effect "if they wanted it more they'd fight me for it, therefore I'm justified in taking it"--which is probably why they come into conflict with 1's--because I know if I thought that was going on I'd fight them on general principle. I also feel like this kind of behavior is basically responsible for all kinds of unnecessary suffering in the world, because they essentially overshoot the mark and take it out on everyone else (everyone else is forced to compensate for their aggression i.e.: a net drain on the system--not a contributor--thieves and bullies). Barbaric is exactly how I'd describe it. Nietzsche once said "I deem you capable of all evil--now I demand the good." Its great that they have teeth ("no one praises the dog with no teeth who does not bite"), but it reminds me of the difference between petty thugs and professional soldiers: strength without control is not real strength.

Here's some irony, I feel the same can be said for unhealthy 1s, that their behavior could be responsible for the suffering in the world. They are hypocrites, I'm thinking child molesting priests who hide behind their religion to appear morally perfect while acting out their repressed desires in private. Or, homophope preachers paying for gay sex and giving their devoted wife HIV... welp, that's just what comes to my mind when I think UNHEALTHY 1s. The mildly unhealthy ones are simply the coworkers I can't ever get along with. If you feel that strongly about unhealthy 8s, why didn't you simply make a thread for it? This isn't even about unhealthy 8s at all. It's about insufferable types 1s and how to get them off our backs sometimes when they need to stay in their place.

[Myst]

Here's some irony, I feel the same can be said for unhealthy 1s, that their behavior could be responsible for the suffering in the world. They are hypocrites, I'm thinking child molesting priests who hide behind their religion to appear morally perfect while acting out their repressed desires in private. Or, homophope preachers paying for gay sex and giving their devoted wife HIV... welp, that's just what comes to my mind when I think UNHEALTHY 1s. The mildly unhealthy ones are simply the coworkers I can't ever get along with. If you feel that strongly about unhealthy 8s, why didn't you simply make a thread for it? This isn't even about unhealthy 8s at all. It's about insufferable types 1s and how to get them off our backs sometimes when they need to stay in their place.

Don't mind the ILI rants. lol

[Bertrand]

Here's some irony, I feel the same can be said for unhealthy 1s, that their behavior could be responsible for the suffering in the world. They are hypocrites, I'm thinking child molesting priests who hide behind their religion to appear morally perfect while acting out their repressed desires in private. Or, homophope preachers paying for gay sex and giving their devoted wife HIV... welp, that's just what comes to my mind when I think UNHEALTHY 1s. The mildly unhealthy ones are simply the coworkers I can't ever get along with. If you feel that strongly about unhealthy 8s, why didn't you simply make a thread for it? This isn't even about unhealthy 8s at all. It's about insufferable types 1s and how to get them off our backs sometimes when they need to stay in their place.

Just verifying we don't mix well. Its validation of your point. Be grateful

[Pole]

Don't mind the ILI rants. lol

LOL if I had saw that they were ILI sooner... I know better damnit

[Myst]

Btw my own take on how I interact with 1s. I get along with a few of them well but every single time they tried to give too much unsolicited advice, I had a really really bad reaction to that and I hope they regretted it enough having to deal with such a fall-out that I'd create lol.

Specifically one of my friends is a really stereotypical 1 with total control freak looks when he gets into that mode, but he always left me alone with that shit. Then one day he started with the bs and I started one of my biggest ever arguments in my life with him. I told him off like crazy in a way that I really rarely do with people.

Other than that... I'm fine with 1s, I always just argue back or fight in whatever way and I don't usually mind doing that lol. They give up sooner than me.