Dealing with physical and emotional pain in ISTp-ENFp and INFj-ESTj pairs

[Creepy-]

I was thinking about types of pain – physical and emotional – and socionics, and wondering about the possible correlations between socionics type and the way a person handles pain.

For me [IEE], w physical pain I prefer to get rid of it as soon as possible, but I don’t make a big fuss over it externally [and I sometimes am impatient w people who do], and I can sort of tune it out until it goes away or I find a way to correct the cause. But w emotional pain, it haunts me; I can and do distract myself, and I still don't make a big fuss, but I am always on a quest to get rid of it by finding and correcting the cause.

Do other Delta NFs identify with this? [I know it could be related to E7 as well]


And I imagine it’s almost the reverse for Delta STs… would you guys identify with this:
With emotional pain I prefer to get rid of it as soon as possible, but I don’t make a big fuss over it externally [and I sometimes am impatient w people who do], and I can sort of tune it out until it goes away or I find a way to correct the cause. But w physical pain, it haunts me; I can and do distract myself, and I still don't make a big fuss, but I am always on a quest to get rid of it by finding and correcting the cause.

[The Greeter]

For me [IEE], w physical pain I prefer to get rid of it as soon as possible, but I don’t make a big fuss over it [and I sometimes am impatient w people who do], and I can sort of tune it out until it goes away or I find a way to correct the cause. But w emotional pain, it haunts me; I can and do distract myself, but I am always on a quest to get rid of it by finding and correcting the cause.

Do other Delta NFs identify with this? [I know it could be related to E7 as well]

Completely. Although most people don't really know if I am in any kind of pain, emotional and physical unless I indicate it. To be honest, though, other than when I was around seven years old and I needed stiches to close a gapping wound under my chin (I didn't cry which surprised the doctors), I don't remember having any major injuries. I sprained my ankle and finger in a basketball game once but I was still playing in the next game. I also smacked my raquet to my lips while playing tennis and my braces cut through it and got caught. Recalling it makes me cringe but didn't complain about the pain and was working the next night with a huge band aid on my face.

Emotional pain does haunt me though but I try not to show it.

So much for the "wah wah" infantile stereotype.

I'll have to think about Delta STs. When an SLI got a major knee injury, he did seem very unhappy, even depressed. Contrasting this with the emotional climate he went through, where he was just more annoyed than deeply affected, I think what you say is quite true. But emotional pain, in general, is harder to deal with for anyone...isn't it? I'll have to think about this one.

[jewels]

yeah I totally relate. Emotional pain does stay with me much longer. I can ignore physical pain pretty easily. I also get annoyed if people are complaining of pain, especially if it's like a paper cut. It's like, get over it already!

[thePirate]

I also get annoyed if people are complaining of pain, especially if it's like a paper cut. It's like, get over it already!

whoa, whoa wheres the Fi?

I don't know how you can say things like this and claim ENFp

[Creepy-]

whoa, whoa wheres the Fi?

I don't know how you can say things like this and claim ENFp

Pipe down, please.

[Wrong Way Ticket]

whoa, whoa wheres the Fi?

I don't know how you can say things like this and claim ENFp

Hahahahaha.


I can handle physical pain. I find it very easy to block out.

Emotional pain makes me crazy. It makes me get tattoos and change cities. Change wardrobes and friends. I keep it hidden fairly well but only because I'll be distracting myself with alcohol & easy women, or by "starting fresh" in a new city, or focusing 120% on some new project/business idea.

Yeah.

[Lobo]

Completely. Although most people don't really know if I am in any kind of pain, emotional and physical unless I indicate it. To be honest, though, other than when I was around seven years old and I needed stiches to close a gapping wound under my chin (I didn't cry which surprised the doctors), I don't remember having any major injuries. I sprained my ankle and finger in a basketball game once but I was still playing in the next game. I also smacked my raquet to my lips while playing tennis and my braces cut through it and got caught. Recalling it makes me cringe but didn't complain about the pain and was working the next night with a huge band aid on my face.

Emotional pain does haunt me though but I try not to show it.

Yep, same here. I was one of those weird kids who thought it was fun and interesting when I had blood samples taken out... My SLI brother has always hated anything to do with getting pain, even an injection. He's always been very attune to physical pain and avoiding it. There was a time, however, when I would get depressed from being ill, but somehow I grew over it. My brother thinks I'm some kind of brute by the way I treat physical pain, and I doubt it's much of a compliment .

Emotional pain? Yeah, that's bad. I feel emotional things rather intensely... It can be completely debilitating, and definitely affects my work output (which I hate). That's one reason why I'm very cautious, observant, reserved, and at times can get mistrusting towards anyone who gets in my intimate circle. It amazes me to no end how delta STs can shrug emotional things off at times. It really seems inhuman to me... I admire and resent it at the same time.

[momoking]

One described me as 'still waters run deep' Is this describing Fi or Fe?

[JuJu]

One described me as 'still waters run deep' Is this describing Fi or Fe?

It could be either Fe or Fi, tbh... It could apply to types across the spectrum: INFps, INFjs, INTps, ENTjs, ISTps, ISFjs and ISTjs even, (not to forget INTjs and ISFps.)

[Creepy-male]

I cried a lot when people hurt me in school. I cried a lot when I hurt me in school. I just cried a lot, period.

Nowadays yeah, I tune out physical pain, but this possibly because I am very often in a fair amount of it due to phantom abdominal pain I've had since I was ~13ish.

I might comment on emotional pain later, but right now I have a cold eating my head, bleh.

[UDP]

I was thinking about types of pain – physical and emotional – and socionics, and wondering about the possible correlations between socionics type and the way a person handles pain.

For me [IEE], w physical pain I prefer to get rid of it as soon as possible, but I don’t make a big fuss over it externally [and I sometimes am impatient w people who do], and I can sort of tune it out until it goes away or I find a way to correct the cause. But w emotional pain, it haunts me; I can and do distract myself, and I still don't make a big fuss, but I am always on a quest to get rid of it by finding and correcting the cause.

Do other Delta NFs identify with this? [I know it could be related to E7 as well]


And I imagine it’s almost the reverse for Delta STs… would you guys identify with this:
With emotional pain I prefer to get rid of it as soon as possible, but I don’t make a big fuss over it externally [and I sometimes am impatient w people who do], and I can sort of tune it out until it goes away or I find a way to correct the cause. But w physical pain, it haunts me; I can and do distract myself, and I still don't make a big fuss, but I am always on a quest to get rid of it by finding and correcting the cause.

uh kind of. The general relationship you present seems to have some merit.
I wouldn't say physical pain haunts me, though. It's just something I notice.

I am very emotionally uncomplicated, and tend to not hang on to much of anything, really. Sometimes someone particularly enrages me and it is a long, deep burning anger, a sense that I want to destroy someone or some thing - but that is more a sense of unfinished business than anything else. I dislike harboring states of emotional anxiety or emo-ness. Similarly, I'm not really fond of overt elation or omg omg it's so wonderful/happy, etc.

Emotional things can 'haunt me', in general, but only if, again, it's unfinished business. As soon as my involvement in the situation or my jurisdiction is over, then, so is my concern - unless I'm being silly or sort of naive, which happens sometimes. But I prefer to stay there as little as possible, it's no good for anyone.


And as far as physical things go, again, I wouldn't say 'haunting'. But more like, I don't stop noticing it. I don't stop noticing someone chewing loudly, I can't tune it out. Or dirtiness or other such things. It's not so much a haunting as an inability to turn the awareness of.

And this also relates to logistical or practical things, particularly when it comes to the execution of a goal. It can be problematic if I let it get out of hand at work because at times I've associated people directly with the goals they they need to accomplish for things to be moving along. But I've learned that it's good to not say "Hi ____ how are you? Have you been working on/finished/thought about xyz?".


To be very honest, though, I think it would be healthier if things did 'haunt me' more. I've gotten to a point in my life where I've basically told all sorts of emotional-influences to screw themselves. That leads to a kind of cold or un-concerned, or even at times un-motivated state.


I'm particularly unconcerned with death, as I see it as a natural and good thing, mostly. This world is full of so much shitiness that going on to the next thing, really, won't be that bad. It is harder to deal with people who are close to you, of course, just like the ending of any relationship. But I don't really see a sense in spending that much time in grief about anything. I certainly don't want people to spend a lot of time fussing and crying about me when I die.

Hmm, what has haunted me most was particularly failures in terms of executing things, or my own ignorance in some areas.

[jessica129]

I'd love to be able to block physical pain but it's completely impossible for me. Emotional pain is easy to block...probobly because I rarely feel it or it's just not that serious enough. Dunno how people can block physical pain...it's real, it's there, it hurts.

[1981slater]

I'd love to be able to block physical pain but it's completely impossible for me. Emotional pain is easy to block...probobly because I rarely feel it or it's just not that serious enough. Dunno how people can block physical pain...it's real, it's there, it hurts.

Weak conscious Se
Weak unconcious Si

[tiny_dancer]

Are you serious (or joking?) I don't think that means weak sensing. Every SLI I know will ferret out the least little annoying noise and get rid of it. Especially on long car trips. heh My friend will stop the car to shift luggage if it's annoying her. I, on the other hand, really don't care.

I don't entirely block out physical pain, but I have to be kind of careful because if I get sick, I won't always realize how sick I am and I'll fail to go to the doctor or I'll just wear myself out doing too much.

Emotional pain, yeah, I will ferret that out. That's been kind of interesting, living with an SLI roommate recently. I can usually know what's irritating her and fix the situation before it goes any further. 'Cause she won't say anything, but it's kind of obvious when something's bothering her.

[1981slater]

Sensors focus too much on temperature, humidity, comfort, so they are always looking for more and more comfort, which makes them weak.

Intuitives don't mind skipping a meal, for instance

[tiny_dancer]

Oh I see - you were replying to the last sentence of her post, not the first part. Gotcha.

[DirectorAbbie]

Do other Delta NFs identify with this? [I know it could be related to E7 as well]


And I imagine it’s almost the reverse for Delta STs… would you guys identify with this:
With emotional pain I prefer to get rid of it as soon as possible, but I don’t make a big fuss over it externally [and I sometimes am impatient w people who do], and I can sort of tune it out until it goes away or I find a way to correct the cause. But w physical pain, it haunts me; I can and do distract myself, and I still don't make a big fuss, but I am always on a quest to get rid of it by finding and correcting the cause.

I pretty much agree on the emotional pain. I sorta agree on physical pain. But it doesn't haunt me; emotional pain is more likely to do that. Depending on how painful the physical pain is, it can be a welcome distraction or a horrible time-consuming nuissance.

[Park]

I have a very high threshold for pain of any kind.

[Creepy-]

Oh, another thing I thought of is that physical pain is often delayed or absent for me at the time of an injury [though this may not be type-related]. As an example, I may discover that I have a cut on my hand or a giant bruise on my leg that now hurts, yet I have no idea when or how I hurt myself bc I didn't feel it at the time at all. Is this at all how emotional pain is for Delta STs - absent at the time of the "injury" and/or delayed? And if it is, what do you think of/how do you deal w it when it occurs to you that you're hurt?


[BTW, I'm aware this may be getting carried away w the emotional/physical pain thing, but I'm very curious about how relevant this might be as a way of understanding other types' perspectives....]

[The Greeter]

Oh, another thing I thought of is that physical pain is often delayed or absent for me at the time of an injury [though this may not be type-related]. As an example, I may discover that I have a cut on my hand or a giant bruise on my leg that now hurts, yet I have no idea when or how I hurt myself bc I didn't feel it at the time at all. Is this at all how emotional pain is for Delta STs - absent at the time of the "injury" and/or delayed? And if it is, what do you think of/how do you deal w it when it occurs to you that you're hurt?

Yes, again. And I have observed what you describe for Delta STs, again.

[jessica129]

Oh, another thing I thought of is that physical pain is often delayed or absent for me at the time of an injury [though this may not be type-related]. As an example, I may discover that I have a cut on my hand or a giant bruise on my leg that now hurts, yet I have no idea when or how I hurt myself bc I didn't feel it at the time at all. Is this at all how emotional pain is for Delta STs - absent at the time of the "injury" and/or delayed? And if it is, what do you think of/how do you deal w it when it occurs to you that you're hurt?

That's a really good way to put it, for me...delayed. That's how I'd describe it. Super delayed. It's not always a good thing. Oh how I wish I could delay physical pain. The thought of being able to do that seems like an impossibility.

[ArchonAlarion]

One described me as 'still waters run deep' Is this describing Fi or Fe?

that's something Jung used in describing Fi.

gets at the latency, subjectivity, and cross contexuality of Fi

[Creepy-]

That's a really good way to put it, for me...delayed. That's how I'd describe it. Super delayed. It's not always a good thing. Oh how I wish I could delay physical pain. The thought of being able to do that seems like an impossibility.

Hmm, interesting. Do you just wake up one day and realize something is missing but feel it's now too late to do something about it, or is it a gradual realization? And how do you deal w it? [I know these are kind of personal questions... feel free not to answer, of course.]


On a sidenote I discovered a pretty big scratch on my arm today that appears to be almost healed into a lovely pink scar... I have NO idea how I got it, but it looks pretty bad; I'm just glad it's on the outside of my arm so hopefully people don't think it was a botched suicide attempt [and lest you think I'm joking, I once had a similar mystery gash on my wrist that led a couple of people to ask very concerned questions about my desire to live.]

Sidenote 2: I've seen the [fabulous] shoes you favor. Don't tell me you can't block out physical pain

[tiny_dancer]

+10 on the shoes.

[Marie84]

Oh, another thing I thought of is that physical pain is often delayed or absent for me at the time of an injury [though this may not be type-related]. As an example, I may discover that I have a cut on my hand or a giant bruise on my leg that now hurts, yet I have no idea when or how I hurt myself bc I didn't feel it at the time at all. Is this at all how emotional pain is for Delta STs - absent at the time of the "injury" and/or delayed? And if it is, what do you think of/how do you deal w it when it occurs to you that you're hurt?

Same with me and my IEE mother, we'll see a bruise or scab on the other and go "how did that happen?" and 9 out of 10 times we have no idea

[jessica129]

Haha, I honestly don't find them uncomfortable at all...not any more uncomfortable than breaking in any other shoe. Once you have them broken in, it's nothing.

[Minde]

I have been thinking about this, but haven't responded because I confuse myself. I act differently and respond differently in different situations. Sometimes both kinds of pain can be debilitating, sometimes not. I think I may have found a small pattern, though:

When I'm conscious of physical pain it can bother me a lot and I can be rather sensitive. When I am not conscious of it I can sometimes go awhile without noticing or caring.

When I'm conscious that I'm emotionally hurting, I can force myself to ignore it or push it away or even just deal with it. But sometimes when I'm less conscious of emotional turmoil, it will take me over or effect me more.

This is not a hard and fast rule, though, particularly as it relates to emotional pain.

As for how I express my pain, again it kind of varies. But I usually keep most of my discomfort to myself. Though, I'm a bit more likely to complain about physical ailments to people, particularly to those closer to me, than I am about emotional pain. That's probably because while other people could potentially help me fix what's causing the physical pain, emotional pain is harder to stop and it generally works best if I can deal with it in my own ways and on my own terms. After all, why burden other people with my problems if they can't help them? Though, a listening ear can often be therapeutic. But I don't trust a whole ton of people in that regard.

[jaZ]

If I ever feel emotional pain I would end up feeling more because I would beat myself up for feeling it in the first place. I think I wrote about this once and described it as throwing everything I don't want into my basement instead of bothering to take out the trash, and dealing with it when it starts to stink. Looking back on that in the context of socionics, you might say I need an ENFp garbagewoman
Yeah physical pain hurts, but it's being sick that I can't handle at all. The worst time of my life (ever): being holed up in a car for a couple hours with chronic motion sickness + dehydration + lack of sleep + lack of food and having my EIE mother telling me to deal with it, we're almost there (couple hours more damnit). Breaking bones isn't nearly so bad.

[tiny_dancer]

hahaha I've been locked in a car with a hungry SLI before. It's not pretty.

[Suz]

I was thinking about types of pain – physical and emotional – and socionics, and wondering about the possible correlations between socionics type and the way a person handles pain.

For me [IEE], w physical pain I prefer to get rid of it as soon as possible, but I don’t make a big fuss over it externally [and I sometimes am impatient w people who do], and I can sort of tune it out until it goes away or I find a way to correct the cause. But w emotional pain, it haunts me; I can and do distract myself, and I still don't make a big fuss, but I am always on a quest to get rid of it by finding and correcting the cause.
Do other Delta NFs identify with this? [I know it could be related to E7 as well]

TOTALLLY true for me!!!

[Suz]

hahaha I've been locked in a car with a hungry SLI before. It's not pretty.

What happened?

[Kittykat]

I have been thinking about this, but haven't responded because I confuse myself. I act differently and respond differently in different situations. Sometimes both kinds of pain can be debilitating, sometimes not. I think I may have found a small pattern, though:

When I'm conscious of physical pain it can bother me a lot and I can be rather sensitive. When I am not conscious of it I can sometimes go awhile without noticing or caring.

When I'm conscious that I'm emotionally hurting, I can force myself to ignore it or push it away or even just deal with it. But sometimes when I'm less conscious of emotional turmoil, it will take me over or effect me more.

This is not a hard and fast rule, though, particularly as it relates to emotional pain.

As for how I express my pain, again it kind of varies. But I usually keep most of my discomfort to myself. Though, I'm a bit more likely to complain about physical ailments to people, particularly to those closer to me, than I am about emotional pain. That's probably because while other people could potentially help me fix what's causing the physical pain, emotional pain is harder to stop and it generally works best if I can deal with it in my own ways and on my own terms. After all, why burden other people with my problems if they can't help them? Though, a listening ear can often be therapeutic. But I don't trust a whole ton of people in that regard.

This describes me quite well. A few things I'll add:
I don't know how many times I've found a bruise or a scrape on myself and thought, "Huh... how did that get there?" There have also been times where I would just briefly mention some sort of physical pain/strangeness that I had been having to my mom or my boyfriend, and all of a sudden they'd be saying, "Yeah... about that... we should probably take you to the doctor..." Probably a good thing I suppose, because I can often let physical stuff get intolerably bad before dealing with them.
Emotional pain doesn't *always* hit me right away (sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't) but for the stuff that doesn't, it will just kindof build.. and build... and build until I become waayyy too stressed out. And with all emotional pain, yes, it haunts me. I feel it deeply and have a difficult time just forgetting about it. (though, I suppose it depends on the situation. Some things I can let go of easily.)

But I've learned that it's good to not say "Hi ____ how are you? Have you been working on/finished/thought about xyz?".

Personally, I don't see that as a problem. If someone said that to me, it would tell me a) they actually remembered some of the projects I start, thus they are somewhat interested in me, and b) they're trying to be helpful.

[07490]

Same with me and my IEE mother, we'll see a bruise or scab on the other and go "how did that happen?" and 9 out of 10 times we have no idea

your parents are conflictor?

[Wrong Way Ticket]

your parents are conflictor?

That's ignorant. You're being ignorant.

[Marie84]

your parents are conflictor?

Yep, it's one of the reasons I got drawn into Socionics. I also supervise my brother, who supervises my father; it's like we won the dysfunctional relations lottery
I'm actually thinking about writing a blog entry on my experience with living amongst incompatible/compatible types and witnessing such, which I might get around to sometime this week.

That's ignorant. You're being ignorant.

haha you just reminded me of my favorite SP eppy

[Beautiful sky]

This describes me quite well. A few things I'll add:
I don't know how many times I've found a bruise or a scrape on myself and thought, "Huh... how did that get there?" There have also been times where I would just briefly mention some sort of physical pain/strangeness that I had been having to my mom or my boyfriend, and all of a sudden they'd be saying, "Yeah... about that... we should probably take you to the doctor..." Probably a good thing I suppose, because I can often let physical stuff get intolerably bad before dealing with them.
Emotional pain doesn't *always* hit me right away (sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't) but for the stuff that doesn't, it will just kindof build.. and build... and build until I become waayyy too stressed out. And with all emotional pain, yes, it haunts me. I feel it deeply and have a difficult time just forgetting about it. (though, I suppose it depends on the situation. Some things I can let go of easily.)



Personally, I don't see that as a problem. If someone said that to me, it would tell me a) they actually remembered some of the projects I start, thus they are somewhat interested in me, and b) they're trying to be helpful.

Hi KittyKat,
It's wonderful to meet you; what you described about your physical pain is very much IEE and welcome to the forum.

[Suz]

Maritsa that post is like almost 3 months old.

[Beautiful sky]

Maritsa that post is like almost 3 months old.

so? That's Te...Lack of significance of time

You're learning, good.

[Beautiful sky]

Physical pain for EII is such that the smallest itch or head ache is enough to lend us in the emergency room. Physical pain is intollerably bad, painful out of controll madness (well, only during the cycle). Other physical pain, like scrapes and bruises will be ignored.

Emotional pain is nothing for me; I bear it in the shadows, away from humans and I can deal with it quite well.

[Suz]

so? That's Te...Lack of significance of time

You're learning, good.

oh please. . .I am learning but not from you. You actually confuse me more than anything else. Or, you used to. Now i've learned to not take anything you say seriously.

I think you have quite a bit of learning to do as well. You are far from knowledgeable on this subject.

p.s. I was not pointing at that and saying "oh, oh, that's Te!". I was pointing to that in reference to how ridiculous it is that you are welcoming a poster that has not just arrived.

As for your conceited compliment, and your assertion that Te=lack of time significance, I actually dont think that's accurate. Te=efficiency which makes time significant.

But again, who am I discussing with? I keep forgetting my rule. Maritsa = crazy patient.