Hi, @
Number 9 large.
My original intention in the chat conversation, which you can still read in the chat archive, was to jokingly let Delilah know that just quietly pining for a guy doesn’t always work, and she might have to make some move to let him know that she has some interest in him.
My suggestion of showing her tits to him (not to me, for Christ’s sake) was metaphoric, and only someone totally lacking in a sense of humor would think otherwise. She could have taken it to mean that she just lean toward him, because, quite frankly, this works for most men and preserves the woman’s dignity, or she could have just laughed, which is what I was hoping for.
She chose to interpret my suggestion for getting the guy’s attention in the worst possible way. This is certainly her right, so when she complained, I sent her an apology in PM. This was not enough for her, evidently, so I publicly apologized.
I actually don’t think my suggestion was out of line in the context in which it was meant – some people can take a joke, some can’t, and on-line discussions contain huge potentials for misunderstandings - , but it upset her, and upsetting her was never my intention. So I said I was sorry and I resolved never to speak to her again in this way.
I’ve pretty much stayed quiet about this since my apology, since there isn’t much more I can do. Now, lungs might prefer that I set myself on fire and film it, but I’m not going to do that.
I have found the comments following my apology to be pretty interesting.
With regard to lungs, I understand why she jumped in to pour gasoline on the fire. But @
Kim? Do you really think I disrespect all women? Do you think I disrespect you? Really, some of your own posts about your dates gone wrong look worse than what I said. I simply think they are hilarious. I don’t assume you hate all men just because you describe some guys in less than glowing terms.
But @
Number 9 large, I agree with you. I don’t get women by being a little bitch to them. I do try to avoid hurting their feelings, though, and I certainly don’t try to put them down or insult them intentionally. I don’t like to bite people back, because I’m actually pretty good at it, and it hurts them, and since intentionally hurting people goes against my religion, I typically say nothing when I get attacked. Vengeance is not constructive.
In the larger scheme of things, I said something to Delilah which I hoped would be constructive but which offended her and when she protested, I apologized, because she deserves to be treated with respect.
I’d do the same if she were a guy, Kim.
Everyone’s tolerance for a joke is different, and once I find out what that level is, I respect their boundaries and move on.