EIIs and IEEs - what were you like as children?

[aisa]

EIIs and IEEs - what were you like as children?
I am especially curious of the age up till let's say 8 years old. Were you outgoing and gregarious, unafraid of new people? or were you withdrawn into your own world of rich fantasies?

Did it change when you were older?

I am asking because I am stuck with my typing and reading other people's experiences might help me out with this.

Personally - my family reports me being very extroverted, gregariously approaching new people and children, focused more on creativity rather than on internal experiences, very drawn towards others.

 

At primary school age I was beginning to withdraw - especially when I was heavily bullied for a few years as a young teen.
Then in high school I bounced back and was very active - doing sports, amateur theatre (I liked the rehearsals, the actual plays in front of audience really stressed me), cheerleading (same - liked rehearsals, events stressed me out and prompted me to make errors in routines) and especially focusing on writing to a high school paper (I was pretty much running the paper for a while and loved writing). But I did need alone time to "recharge" in silence a bit at home every day. I was similar as a young adult, but an unhealthy relationship really changed me. I got much more withdrawn and less trusting afterwards.
Relationship with my husband helped me heal a bit. Then I followed a career path I enjoyed, but at a point when I needed to switch jobs (short contract) I budged under family pressure and went on to work in corporate world. Some of it was ok, but the company was under major changes, people were stressed out and there was a lot of mobbing and cutting people's careers going on around. I stayed there for too long for it to be healthy for me. Quitting was one of the best decisions in my life. I associate depression with following the career path I strongly felt I shouldn't follow and trying to go against my instincts. I haven't been depressed since my family "sort of" accepted that I won't become a "business shark".
I don't know if this matters but since being a young teen I always said that I'd like to be a freelancer of some sort (used to think I'd become a journalist for quite a few years, then started teaching which I enjoyed and am now pursuing this again - teaching one on one right now). I don't know how I will handle teaching a large group of children which is an option (maybe) that came up recently, teaching a group of 25 children before was very draining to me. Large part of this was the constant noise (kindergarten) and the fact I was forbidden to communicate with them at all in their mother language.

Right now I function as an introvert to the point that I found it difficult even considering being an extravert. I've had a few scarring experiences which made me distrustful towards people.
It seems like I was more IEE-like as a child and more EII-like as an adult, which makes me wonder whether I am not in the wrong with my EII typing and could be IEE-Fi instead of EII-Ne. This would explain how I functioned as a teen and very young adult also. Periods of depression due to various experiences might explain "lockdown" towards EII... (?) I honestly don't know.

Please help me out here What are your experiences with being outgoing/withdrawn as a child and later on in life and how do you link this with your typing? If you're not an EII nor an IEE but know some - please do mention your observations too. Thank you.
@Becca @Maritsa @anndelise @applejacks @StridingStrider @Park

[Waster]

Hehe. Well I can''t say much about my childhood as I'm not an NF.

I would put less stock in what you were like as a child, its a developmental stage with a lot of change and other variables. Who you are right now is what's important, and no doubt the truth.

[aisa]

@StridingStrider I know you're SLI, but I mentioned you cause I kind of hoped that maybe you know some EIIs and IEEs in real life and could share your observations
I know that what I am now is true, thing is I'm not sure whether IEE-Fi or EII-Ne would be a more correct typing for myself - hence the confusion...

[Waster]

Perhaps you could give us a description of yourself, interest and hobbies, outlook on life etc?

Alternatively you could access wikisocion, search for either type, click on subtypes and see which one fits you best.

Edit: As for observations, I've known very few NFs in my life time. The one EII I do know is Fi based so not much help unfortunately.

ps I'm not sure why my posts are so huge, lol. I don't have any extra spaces below.

[Radio]

i was pretty isolated. i was the youngest child in my family, as well as in the neighborhood; the other kids were mostly older than me so while my siblings had company, i spent most of my early childhood playing by myself. sometimes one of the older kids would hang out with me but they never really saw me as a friend, i was just a kid to everyone. so i'm not really sure if why i was withdrawn was because of my general temperament or because i just didn't have the opportunity to make friends, idk. i remember i had moments of loneliness when the other kids didn't want to play with me, so i made sure they couldn't play at all by making life hell for them and ruining their games (they couldn't hit me because my sister would be there every time). mostly, i just kept to myself and i had little quests for each day where one day i'd be obsessed with finding interesting-looking rocks, or interesting-looking sticks, or i'd be collecting the seeds that fell from the tree, or catch butterflies, or run really fast, or something else that didn't require other people to be there. sometimes my sister would accompany me, esp when we were cycling or something else but i was always the youngest kid, the most annoying kid, the one no one wanted to pick first (or last).

anyway, i was never social or socially likeable since that's relevant. i was mostly by myself, collecting cool junk that made me happy.

[Becca]

EIIs and IEEs - what were you like as children?
I am especially curious of the age up till let's say 8 years old. Were you outgoing and gregarious, unafraid of new people? or were you withdrawn into your own world of rich fantasies?

Lol I was definitely in my own world of fantasies, because my world outside was not as appealing. I was fascinated with making up imaginary stories with my dolls until the age 10 I believe. Haha. I was also very interested in people, and I made quite a few close connections. My mom says that they took me to the amusement park when I was 3, and I spoke to all the strangers there. I was very shy as well, and I remember being very self aware. When I got hurt, I withdrew into myself. Felt like nobody "got" me. Blamed myself.

Did it change when you were older?

I just got more and more shy and self conscious.

I am asking because I am stuck with my typing and reading other people's experiences might help me out with this.

Personally - my family reports me being very extroverted, gregariously approaching new people and children, focused more on creativity rather than on internal experiences, very drawn towards others.

 

At primary school age I was beginning to withdraw - especially when I was heavily bullied for a few years as a young teen.
Then in high school I bounced back and was very active - doing sports, amateur theatre (I liked the rehearsals, the actual plays in front of audience really stressed me), cheerleading (same - liked rehearsals, events stressed me out and prompted me to make errors in routines) and especially focusing on writing to a high school paper (I was pretty much running the paper for a while and loved writing). But I did need alone time to "recharge" in silence a bit at home every day. I was similar as a young adult, but an unhealthy relationship really changed me. I got much more withdrawn and less trusting afterwards.
Relationship with my husband helped me heal a bit. Then I followed a career path I enjoyed, but at a point when I needed to switch jobs (short contract) I budged under family pressure and went on to work in corporate world. Some of it was ok, but the company was under major changes, people were stressed out and there was a lot of mobbing and cutting people's careers going on around. I stayed there for too long for it to be healthy for me. Quitting was one of the best decisions in my life. I associate depression with following the career path I strongly felt I shouldn't follow and trying to go against my instincts. I haven't been depressed since my family "sort of" accepted that I won't become a "business shark".
I don't know if this matters but since being a young teen I always said that I'd like to be a freelancer of some sort (used to think I'd become a journalist for quite a few years, then started teaching which I enjoyed and am now pursuing this again - teaching one on one right now). I don't know how I will handle teaching a large group of children which is an option (maybe) that came up recently, teaching a group of 25 children before was very draining to me. Large part of this was the constant noise (kindergarten) and the fact I was forbidden to communicate with them at all in their mother language.

Wow this sounds like me. The beginning at least because the course of your life is not like mine. I'm sorry about your unhealthy relationship. My dream was also to become a journalist. I don't see myself as being able to focus on an entire class of students; I think it would be too overwhelming. I would really like to be a psychologist one day.

Right now I function as an introvert to the point that I found it difficult even considering being an extravert. I've had a few scarring experiences which made me distrustful towards people.
It seems like I was more IEE-like as a child and more EII-like as an adult, which makes me wonder whether I am not in the wrong with my EII typing and could be IEE-Fi instead of EII-Ne. This would explain how I functioned as a teen and very young adult also. Periods of depression due to various experiences might explain "lockdown" towards EII... (?) I honestly don't know.

Please help me out here What are your experiences with being outgoing/withdrawn as a child and later on in life and how do you link this with your typing? If you're not an EII nor an IEE but know some - please do mention your observations too. Thank you.
@Becca @Maritsa @anndelise @applejacks @StridingStrider @Park

I heard somewhere that EII's mix themselves up as IEE when they are young, because they try to "fit in" and be outgoing yet it is not who they really are. I can relate.

Maybe this can help you even though she talks about MBTI. I suspect that she is an EII.

[Becca]

i was pretty isolated. i was the youngest child in my family, as well as in the neighborhood; the other kids were mostly older than me so while my siblings had company, i spent most of my early childhood playing by myself. sometimes one of the older kids would hang out with me but they never really saw me as a friend, i was just a kid to everyone. so i'm not really sure if why i was withdrawn was because of my general temperament or because i just didn't have the opportunity to make friends, idk. i remember i had moments of loneliness when the other kids didn't want to play with me, so i made sure they couldn't play at all by making life hell for them and ruining their games (they couldn't hit me because my sister would be there every time). mostly, i just kept to myself and i had little quests for each day where one day i'd be obsessed with finding interesting-looking rocks, or interesting-looking sticks, or i'd be collecting the seeds that fell from the tree, or catch butterflies, or run really fast, or something else that didn't require other people to be there. sometimes my sister would accompany me, esp when we were cycling or something else but i was always the youngest kid, the most annoying kid, the one no one wanted to pick first (or last).

anyway, i was never social or socially likeable since that's relevant. i was mostly by myself, collecting cool junk that made me happy.

Lol yup me exactly!!

[Beautiful sky]

I was a quiet and withdrawn child. I kept to myself and played in the garden. Though I didn't strive to make friends kids gravetated towards me. As an adult I still have these withdrawn moments where when I see someone I recognize I often don't say hi because I don't have enough energy. My lack of will stops me often from engaging people in a conversation because I think to myself that I'm just too tired. Socionics has taught me to recognize this. Just yesterday I saw an SEE friend on the metro. For a moment I was fighting my internal lack of energy but then I decided it would be nice to tap her on her shoulder. So I did and she gave me a big hug and excited energy.

[Not A Communist Shill]

My recollections of school around that age was that I approached other kids in a very cheerful and playful manner while finding the task of starting new friendships difficult. My school reports from the time seem to indicate something rather different: that I was very shy and introverted. It should be worth taking into account that somehow, there were certain rumours about my family that everybody in the school seemed to know (and which were actually true)...rumours that didn't really help. I think I was initially very bubbly and became more reserved...and to a certain extent, I may have been more bubbly outdoors than indoors.

One of my 'friends' from that period I actually had to pay as a way of being allowed to play. This kid later bullied me for about two years...but was a proper friend for about three years at my next school (I seemed to have a habit of befriending people who had previously bullied me). My one 'true' friend from that period I probably always felt was never quite my match...this may seem like a snobbish attitude, but in a fuller context, I would have liked to have had a continuous group of friends from different sides of the tracks and not ever have things stagnate.

I was a very bookish person in those days, and was obsessed with mathematics (I could easily multiply two digit numbers in my head and even have a go with three digit numbers, and I knew various shortcuts...when I think of those times my mind feels very sluggish!). I often resented other people my age simply living idly...or at least, I resented not knowing individuals who shared my interests and who had a little zest for life.

[Beautiful sky]

Sometimes I don't want my senses to be bombarded because it hurts physically and it's best to escape to calmness

[Galen]

I remember myself being pretty removed from others socially. Making friends seemed to take me a while; not because I was somehow different from everybody else (although that may be the case anyway), but because I was already interested in my own shit. I remember liking the school work I was doing a whole lot more than the people I actually interacted with. I used to do math homework weeks ahead of time just because I thought it was really fun to learn about. I would read the picture books in the corner by myself and purposefully avoid the loud annoying kids making a ruckus during recess. I was never bullied or anything of the sort though. Maybe all the other kids were just idiots. Actually yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the case. Liked building things too, we had four or five massive bins filled with Legos and I would build pretend overworlds for SNES platformers. People called me smart, but I preferred to think of other people as straight-up idiots and myself being the only normal one.

I remember I had a giant collection of stuffed animals in my brother's and my room, one of which being a white cat with a battery pack inside and button that when pressed made a meowing sound. One night I think the internal wiring inside the cat got screwed up so it would just meow and howl all night. Totally understanding that it was a fake cat with no sapience or self-awareness, my mind kept going that the cat was sick and it was crying out for help. So in an emotional breakdown I started sobbing and weeping like I was watching a real cat suffer and die in my own arms. I guess I would anthropomorphize things a lot in that way,


Not much has changed since then I guess. I'm not much of a math kid anymore, although I can handle me some arithmetic if the situation calls for it. Making friends still takes a long time for me, like it can take up to a couple months of constant exposure to a person or a group of people before I feel like the ice has been broken. I surround myself with a bunch of nerds in my everyday life, so the supposed "people are idiots" issue is somewhat nullified. Socializing is still a dirty word and I take no joy in going to meet-and-greets. I'm still stupidly sympathetic in weird ways too; like I can't play The Sims because whenever something bad happens to them I feel like complete shit for having performed such a terrible inhuman atrocity to another anthropomorphic robot thing.

[Galen]

ps I'm not sure why my posts are so huge, lol. I don't have any extra spaces below.

It's because the post template is dumb and wants to make room for your user information before it hits your signature.

[aisa]

Perhaps you could give us a description of yourself, interest and hobbies, outlook on life etc?

hmm it's a difficult question to put into a few words (there's a lot of rambling in my typing thread, but it's gotten so long by now that I don't really expect people to read through all of my soul-searching), so...

 

the most difficult part is describing myself, so I'll go with things that are important to me - when I was recently considering what sort of job I'd like to perform I started wondering what I enjoyed most about my previous jobs - and I enjoyed helping other people, however cheesy that sounds, I find it difficult to turn down a request and not help someone (even if this smn was a complete a-hole towards me in a big way previously - in working conditions I will help them, in private life if the contact can be ceased then I will cease contact (and maybe help them one last time depending on the situation) and if it can't be ceased - then I will help them).
I am happiest when I can see someone learned sth from me (i.e. when a student in my one on one classes "gets" sth or opens up and stops stressing about the subject). When I was leaving my previous job the line that made the happiest in my leaving greeting card from co-workers was from a guy I worked with who wrote "to always helpful aisa". People sometimes told me that it's "not normal" that I help them out in the way that I sometimes do.
(I know it sounds like bragging, it's not meant to be, it's just what honestly makes me happy and charges my batteries)
I also like giving presents fitting a person and seeing them getting happy as they unpack it (everyone in family wants me to pack their presents cause they like how they look).
I enjoy writing, although when it comes to writing a story nowadays I have trouble going from the idea phase to the actual writing phase. But writing and editing text was always a part of my jobs that I enjoyed (not that it was a big part of my jobs unfortunately - it wasn't, it was just sometimes a tiny highlight here and there).
So when I was figuring out what I'd like to do - I was thinking that it would have to be a job where I can help people or teach them sth or help them overcome some obstacle (I was thinking of this HR part where people get advice on work possibilities, or teaching).
I have trouble with time management, I am very often late (to the point that everyone who knows me is well aware of this unfortunately. I am making some progress but it's a lifelong battle that doesn't seem to be nowhere near end).
There is a saying in my native language about initially burning up towards an idea and then quickly burning out - which my parents used to describe me many times... while I don't think it's as bad as they describe it, I do see this happening unfortunately. I get excited with a new idea and think of the ways of implementing it in real life and then either start it and then move on to the next thing, or move on to the next thing without starting the first thing (but with intention of doing so and going back to the implementation part as soon as I've figured out the new idea... this obviously leads to unfinished ideas.)
Idk what else to write (I've rambled quite a bit above). I could maybe answer some questions (I kind of expect none after this much rambling though tbh - if anyone has the patience to read it...)
hmm I like and dislike "people" as a whole in general. I like them in the sense that I want everyone to be happy and things to be good. And dislike them in the sense that when I look around I see so much pointless bickering and back-stabbing instead of people actually cooperating. Annoys me to no end.
Oh, I have a short temper. Not extremely short temper, but still, it is there visible enough for family members to notice. This part of some of the IEE descriptions unfortunately rings true (explosive anger). But maybe this can be a difference between EII subtypes too...?
I remember being a little child (Idk maybe 6years old?) and looking up at my EII-Fi grandma (whom I've seen angered only twice over the course of my entire life even up till now) and thinking that she's the best person I know, that she's like an angel and (with regret then when I didn't realise how much must be held and tamed inside her) that I'll never be like her no matter how much I try.
Oh, and (in case you haven't noticed yet, lol - I have trouble staying concise in speech and writing - it's almost always a whole "story").

 

I think this list is a pretty good one:

Hobbies: come and go in bursts and return like boomerangs years later... psychology, writing, teaching, typology, bits of philosophy, painting, diy home decor, crocheting, watching action movies and old 1940s-1960s films & musicals, cooking (rare 1-2 months-long bursts of creativity ), drinking tea while listening to people pouring their souls out, over-the-night irl discussions on the purpose of life & beliefs(...), walks by the seashore or in the forest, windsurfing when I get the chance, swimming, (...) reading and dancing to rock music & oldies (...)

I think I am most interested in human interactions, it's conscious and unconscious, sth that just I enjoy figuring out. I usually am a bit of a "psychologist" for my friends and family cause they approach me for advice and I try to show them different angles of a situation and help them figure out how they want to act or which approach to try (but I don't want them to go "my way" if they feel there's another way that will make them happy (and doesn't include steam-rolling other people, lol)

 

umm, well, you know, firstly I'd like worldpeace... seriously though - I wish people would just stop all the fighting, while the Lennon's "Imagine" lyrics isn't entirely my ideal, it does sound like quite a good version of the world and people interactions...
I just want to help other people and to be free (very important) from people pressuring me to fit a "mold" they have prepared for me (not surprising given my life experiences, especially with regard to work choices and family pressures) and to have a courage again to just be "me" without worrying that other's expect me to be different and without being "shot down" when I get all "infantile-ish" or sth.

Alternatively you could access wikisocion, search for either type, click on subtypes and see which one fits you best.

yeah, I already had browsed through wikisocion and subtypes. If I were to decide upon subtype myself, I'd say IEE-Ne - nope, IEE-Fi - yes, EII-Ne - maybe, EII-Fi - no.
But when I read the descriptions to my husband without telling him which one is which - he said EII-Ne fits best. So it doesn't help with my confusion.

Edit: As for observations, I've known very few NFs in my life time. The one EII I do know is Fi based so not much help unfortunately.

 

my EII-Fi grandma is the best person I know, although I know that her life was very difficult and she made enormous concessions on her happiness to protect and provide for her children. She's an amazing person and she doesn't know it and doesn't want to acknowledge how special I think she is. She is shy and just "pure good". I know I'm biased, but she's a saint in my eyes, she really is. And I feel so deeply sorry for her, knowing the course of her life and how different some things could have been if she was born in a different place, at a different time or at least hasn't lost her parents so early on in life and had a chance for a better education. She's probably the most humble human being I know and one of the smartest and bravest too (including saving other people's lives and risking her own during war time - which took some digging to find out, cause she would never brag about it and she let her ESE husband's stories "shine". While she was so much more corageous than him.)

when it comes to other EIIs I suspect my friend's older sister is one but I don't know her too well unfortunately. The interaction is always nice.

the other EIIs that I feel confident in typing were two girls I knew a long time ago - in primary school. They were nice, but I considered them "weak", because when some new students joined our class (including an older unhealthy SLE guy - even the principal admitted to not having a clue how to "tame" him and that parents are "on their own with this issue") and bullying extravaganza started - I felt they abandoned me, cause they were so afraid of him that they wouldn't stand up for their friends, hiding behing an LSE girl's back instead. I defended them, but they didn't defend me. I was scared of the guy too, but he also angered me and I didn't want him to see what his actions are doing to me (I hid my emotions and then finally someone else defended me and threatened to beat him up and part of the bullying eased). I'm not sure this can be blamed on type or subtype tbh though. This was a very unhealthy situation regardless of people's types (which might have contributed to this, but weren't the only decisive factor imo).

ps I'm not sure why my posts are so huge, lol. I don't have any extra spaces below.

it's ok, you're visible!

[aisa]

i was pretty isolated. i was the youngest child in my family, as well as in the neighborhood; the other kids were mostly older than me so while my siblings had company, i spent most of my early childhood playing by myself. sometimes one of the older kids would hang out with me but they never really saw me as a friend, i was just a kid to everyone. so i'm not really sure if why i was withdrawn was because of my general temperament or because i just didn't have the opportunity to make friends, idk. i remember i had moments of loneliness when the other kids didn't want to play with me, so i made sure they couldn't play at all by making life hell for them and ruining their games (they couldn't hit me because my sister would be there every time). mostly, i just kept to myself and i had little quests for each day where one day i'd be obsessed with finding interesting-looking rocks, or interesting-looking sticks, or i'd be collecting the seeds that fell from the tree, or catch butterflies, or run really fast, or something else that didn't require other people to be there. sometimes my sister would accompany me, esp when we were cycling or something else but i was always the youngest kid, the most annoying kid, the one no one wanted to pick first (or last).

anyway, i was never social or socially likeable since that's relevant. i was mostly by myself, collecting cool junk that made me happy.

hmm... I remember wanting very much to be around other children and be a part of a group and play with them, but I was rejected a lot of the time cause I was weak and not as physically capable as them (I was very ill a lot of my early childhood and my mum was very overprotective of me, I didn't take part in PE classes for a few years because of this and was "behind".)
I desperately wanted siblings, but my parents decided they couldn't support more than one child, so a lot of the time I felt lonely and wanted other children's company even more. Which probably made me awkward and desperate in their eyes - two qualitites that never help group dynamics and being wanted by other people as part of their "tribe". I wanted a sibling so much that I kept asking my parents and when a friend asked me about it I made up a story that my mum is going to have a little brother for me. This friend was living near only for the holidays and when she returned some time later and asked about my brother I remember feeling terribly embarassed when I had to admit that there is no brother and that I made it up cause I so much wanted it to be true. I didn't lie in general and this was even more embarassing cause it could have sounded like I'm just a lier and make stuff up, which I didn't. It was this one thing. I remember this friend being surprisngly understanding and not angry with me, just surprised (I was probably around 10 years old then and she was 1-2 years older than me and had younger siblings).

[aisa]

Lol I was definitely in my own world of fantasies, because my world outside was not as appealing. I was fascinated with making up imaginary stories with my dolls until the age 10 I believe. Haha. I was also very interested in people, and I made quite a few close connections. My mom says that they took me to the amusement park when I was 3, and I spoke to all the strangers there. I was very shy as well, and I remember being very self aware. When I got hurt, I withdrew into myself. Felt like nobody "got" me. Blamed myself.

hmm.. rings true. Not necessarily the part of world of fantasies - cause yes, there was one, but I wanted to share it with other children - i.e. preferred to play with another girl and toys than just toys.
When it comes to people, I was drawn to them and each time I got rejected by a "friend" who found smn more interesting and "cool" - I thought, ok, that's it, I don't want any friends at all. And then I ended up befriending smn else and the cycle continued.
The part about speaking to strangers was very similar to what my family reports.
I also remember approaching other children (I actually do remember this part myself) with my arm out ready to shake their hand and saying "hi, I'm aisa" in a sandbox or playground - and them shying away or looking scared of smn new - and then I would approach my mum or dad and ask "why are they scared? I don't understand." I couldn't understand why they would be scared of meeting smn new and friendly.
Now I do - but I'm an adult with some crappy experiences and some trust issues due to that.

I just got more and more shy and self conscious.

I got more shy and self conscious the more I got rejected. Then I entered another group of people in some camp and I was well liked and felt happy with them (I have on off contact with 2 of them till this day). So it was sort of split - I felt terrible at school when I was bullied, but good among other new friends from outside school.

Wow this sounds like me. The beginning at least because the course of your life is not like mine. I'm sorry about your unhealthy relationship. My dream was also to become a journalist. I don't see myself as being able to focus on an entire class of students; I think it would be too overwhelming. I would really like to be a psychologist one day.

thank you I think unfortunately a lot of young people (both female and male) go through toxic relationships - cause we're naive when we're young. If smn doesn't have such an experience, I consider them lucky, cause unfortunately I know more people who've been through something bad than not... I guess it's "normal", not that it's good by any means...
yeah, full class of students was overwhelming, but I did enjoy teaching a class of up to ten people as soon as I got over the initial intimidation. The key is for me to feel really confident in what I am teaching. But I do prefer one on one. The group of over 20 hyperactive little children was too much. Especially the noise, ouch.
Hmm... I was told by an ILE friend that I am a "social psychologist" when I was explaining sth to him, lol. But irl I don't think I could be a psychologist. I think it is an interesting and much needed specialty, but I get way too immersed in other people's problems as is. I keep on thinking about smn when they come to me with their problem and given what sort of problems people might come to psychologist with - I think this would be unhealthy for me. I couldn't close the door and go home and cut myself off from what I was dealing with during the day.
I do think that if someone is both sensitive and capable of keeping a healthy distance - they can be a great psychologist and help to other people.

I heard somewhere that EII's mix themselves up as IEE when they are young, because they try to "fit in" and be outgoing yet it is not who they really are. I can relate.

hmm this can be true of me too, I really don't know. It sometimes feels like when I am around people I fight with this urge to open up towards them, but then I remember how hurtful some "opening ups" were in the past and back down.
I recently met an SLI girl through a friend and I opened up to her surprisingly fast, but I guess gin and tonic helped, lmao.

Maybe this can help you even though she talks about MBTI. I suspect that she is an EII.

hmm, I have no idea if that's how I look like when I go into my goofy mode, I don't film myself lol and my husband is out of town so can't ask him yet.
but this girl looks and acts (mannerisms, voice modulation) like a hyperactive version of one girl I know quite well, who also tested as INTJ in MBTI. The word hyperactive is the key here, cause the girl I know acts like this in very rare bursts of enthusiasm when she's feeling comfortable around someone. This video does look edited heavily though to keep this "hyperactive" vibe, so maybe they are both EIIs...
But if the girl I know irl is an EII, then she either is a different subtype or I'm an IEE. So she'd be EII-Fi and me EII-Ne or IEE-Fi in such a notation.
She's more difficult to read than me and listens to much more depressive music than I do. I really like her, but there is sth different about us. Hmm. Yeah, this doesn't add anything to the discussion from my side though cause I am talking about smn that noone here knows and can compare. So I guess I'll just stop.

[darya]

hmm, I have no idea if that's how I look like when I go into my goofy mode, I don't film myself lol and my husband is out of town so can't ask him yet.
but this girl looks and acts (mannerisms, voice modulation) like a hyperactive version of one girl I know quite well, who also tested as INTJ in MBTI. The word hyperactive is the key here, cause the girl I know acts like this in very rare bursts of enthusiasm when she's feeling comfortable around someone. This video does look edited heavily though to keep this "hyperactive" vibe, so maybe they are both EIIs...
But if the girl I know irl is an EII, then she either is a different subtype or I'm an IEE. So she'd be EII-Fi and me EII-Ne or IEE-Fi in such a notation.
She's more difficult to read than me and listens to much more depressive music than I do. I really like her, but there is sth different about us. Hmm. Yeah, this doesn't add anything to the discussion from my side though cause I am talking about smn that noone here knows and can compare. So I guess I'll just stop.

I'd be very interested in how would others type this girl? I have no idea how a typical EII looks like

[Radio]

Maybe this can help you even though she talks about MBTI. I suspect that she is an EII.

i'm not stingy about typing people as my identicals but this girl is definitely not EII. SEI, maybe.

[darya]

i'm not stingy about typing people as my identicals but this girl is definitely not EII. SEI, maybe.

I wanted to know because I kinda talk like her when I'm feelling goofy

[Radio]

I'd be very interested in how would others type this girl? I have no idea how a typical EII looks like

i looked up "INFJ" on youtube and here are some randomly assorted EIIs (IMO):




(this guy could also be ESI)



most MBTI INFJs seem to be SEI and IEI i think, and even some LIIs and ESEs. very few EIIs.

[darya]

@Vois
seizure warning much?

[ashlesha]

I'm going to answer while I wait for the bus even though I think it's unlikely i'm eii.

when I was very young I lived in a city neighborhood where kids ran around outside all the time. I was friends with most of the kids on my block but i'm pretty sure a good deal of that was thanks to my parents. School was different. I was really .sheltered and studious compared to most other kids because of the way I was raised and it was a city school where they came in with hickies in third grade whereas the time a boy called and asked me to be his girlfriend I panicked and hung up on him. I got picked on a lot. But I don't remember experiencing social anxiety..i think I just sort of took things as they came and moved on. I spent a lot of time reading and I wasnt really concerned with making friends.

[aisa]

I was a quiet and withdrawn child. I kept to myself and played in the garden. Though I didn't strive to make friends kids gravetated towards me. As an adult I still have these withdrawn moments where when I see someone I recognize I often don't say hi because I don't have enough energy. My lack of will stops me often from engaging people in a conversation because I think to myself that I'm just too tired. Socionics has taught me to recognize this. Just yesterday I saw an SEE friend on the metro. For a moment I was fighting my internal lack of energy but then I decided it would be nice to tap her on her shoulder. So I did and she gave me a big hug and excited energy.

hmm, I have days like this, but it's not lack of energy in my case, but more of a bad mood/need to withdraw sometimes maybe (Idk? how to name it in my case).
I feel lack of energy before I even start interacting with LSE and ESE family members who are older than me and the conversation has a very thin chance of being a two-way street, cause they are already talking over each other...

Sometimes I don't want my senses to be bombarded because it hurts physically and it's best to escape to calmness

I feel like this sometimes, it doesn't actually hurt though, almost does. LSE & ESE together competing over who I listen to and talk to or 25 children in a class do the trick easily. Or a group of Betas with a few overactive SLEs...

[Beautiful sky]

hmm, I have days like this, but it's not lack of energy in my case, but more of a bad mood/need to withdraw sometimes maybe (Idk? how to name it in my case).
I feel lack of energy before I even start interacting with LSE and ESE family members who are older than me and the conversation has a very thin chance of being a two-way street, cause they are already talking over each other...


I feel like this sometimes, it doesn't actually hurt though, almost does. LSE & ESE together competing over who I listen to and talk to or 25 children in a class do the trick easily. Or a group of Betas with a few overactive SLEs...

My mother , being a Te type and an activity director in a sense will commonly tell me "get out, move around a little, energy will come back to you" Bad mood is an SLI thing yes, for me and EII it's lack of will power energy

[SyrupDeGem]

I was incredibly adventurous and independent. I was actually not very interested in groups but I found odd people very interesting. I used to go and sit with kids that were teased and bring home animals and homeless people etc. I was a real teacher pleaser at primary school but my rebellion exceeded all expectations at secondary school.

[aisa]

My recollections of school around that age was that I approached other kids in a very cheerful and playful manner while finding the task of starting new friendships difficult. My school reports from the time seem to indicate something rather different: that I was very shy and introverted. It should be worth taking into account that somehow, there were certain rumours about my family that everybody in the school seemed to know (and which were actually true)...rumours that didn't really help. I think I was initially very bubbly and became more reserved...and to a certain extent, I may have been more bubbly outdoors than indoors.

hmm somewhat similar with the initiation of friendships when you put it this way
I'm not sure if indoors/outdoors had that much effect on me, more like at school/vs playground/vs home
sorry to hear about people gossiping, it's always unpleasant when smn goeas behind your back

One of my 'friends' from that period I actually had to pay as a way of being allowed to play. This kid later bullied me for about two years...but was a proper friend for about three years at my next school (I seemed to have a habit of befriending people who had previously bullied me). My one 'true' friend from that period I probably always felt was never quite my match...this may seem like a snobbish attitude, but in a fuller context, I would have liked to have had a continuous group of friends from different sides of the tracks and not ever have things stagnate.

yeah, befriending smn who bullied me is inconceivable for me, it wouldn't happen, I couldn't bring myself even to facebook befriending them after receiving their frienship request. I'm not vindictive, I did my best to not let them see how much they were affecting me, I wish them a happy and full life, I've heard some of them really went through serious positive changes... but still, it hurt too much and left too many scars for me to be able to let them back into my life in any manner

I was a very bookish person in those days, and was obsessed with mathematics (I could easily multiply two digit numbers in my head and even have a go with three digit numbers, and I knew various shortcuts...when I think of those times my mind feels very sluggish!). I often resented other people my age simply living idly...or at least, I resented not knowing individuals who shared my interests and who had a little zest for life.

yeah, bookish I was too, I constantly read sth, especially fiction (Anne of Green Gables ), adventure (Winnetou, Old Shatterhand), sometimes some historical fiction).
I always enjoyed maths and never had any problems with it, but I wasn't ever obsessed. I liked to count as a little child.
The one time I got really into math was when I was in my late teens when preparing for my high school finals and actually got a bit "excited" with the "probability" part of math.
When it comes to friends - I wanted smn who I could have fun with, who would listen to me, who I could trust and who wouldn't back-stab me.

[Becca]

hmm.. rings true. Not necessarily the part of world of fantasies - cause yes, there was one, but I wanted to share it with other children - i.e. preferred to play with another girl and toys than just toys.
When it comes to people, I was drawn to them and each time I got rejected by a "friend" who found smn more interesting and "cool" - I thought, ok, that's it, I don't want any friends at all. And then I ended up befriending smn else and the cycle continued.
The part about speaking to strangers was very similar to what my family reports.
I also remember approaching other children (I actually do remember this part myself) with my arm out ready to shake their hand and saying "hi, I'm aisa" in a sandbox or playground - and them shying away or looking scared of smn new - and then I would approach my mum or dad and ask "why are they scared? I don't understand." I couldn't understand why they would be scared of meeting smn new and friendly.
Now I do - but I'm an adult with some crappy experiences and some trust issues due to that.


I got more shy and self conscious the more I got rejected. Then I entered another group of people in some camp and I was well liked and felt happy with them (I have on off contact with 2 of them till this day). So it was sort of split - I felt terrible at school when I was bullied, but good among other new friends from outside school.


thank you I think unfortunately a lot of young people (both female and male) go through toxic relationships - cause we're naive when we're young. If smn doesn't have such an experience, I consider them lucky, cause unfortunately I know more people who've been through something bad than not... I guess it's "normal", not that it's good by any means...

Yea I relate to what you said about trying to be open and friendly to people and then having them reject you so you become withdrawn. I was very withdrawn as a kid after I learned the hard way, and I stuck with my few good friends.
I was also bullied in school by people who were supposedly my friends and who back stabbed me. But that's life.
My whole life was spent searching for a "true" friend who I can trust. Unfortunately, I only found one when I was done high school. I think that was when I learned to trust people, and most importantly, to be happy with who I was.
When you speak about it like this, I admit that I have had some unhealthy relationships. But I got over them because I realized that they we're crazy and it was not my fault that they could not show me love.

yeah, full class of students was overwhelming, but I did enjoy teaching a class of up to ten people as soon as I got over the initial intimidation. The key is for me to feel really confident in what I am teaching. But I do prefer one on one. The group of over 20 hyperactive little children was too much. Especially the noise, ouch.
Hmm... I was told by an ILE friend that I am a "social psychologist" when I was explaining sth to him, lol. But irl I don't think I could be a psychologist. I think it is an interesting and much needed specialty, but I get way too immersed in other people's problems as is. I keep on thinking about smn when they come to me with their problem and given what sort of problems people might come to psychologist with - I think this would be unhealthy for me. I couldn't close the door and go home and cut myself off from what I was dealing with during the day.
I do think that if someone is both sensitive and capable of keeping a healthy distance - they can be a great psychologist and help to other people.

I hear you about getting too immersed in people's problems. I have studied psychology a bit and I enjoy the subject. I think that I have become a lot healthier than I was over the past few years, and I am find the idea of helping others very appealing. I still have a way to go, but I hope to be able to one day.

hmm this can be true of me too, I really don't know. It sometimes feels like when I am around people I fight with this urge to open up towards them, but then I remember how hurtful some "opening ups" were in the past and back down.
I recently met an SLI girl through a friend and I opened up to her surprisingly fast, but I guess gin and tonic helped, lmao.

Same I relate. Yea, I can open up to people when I am in a high mode but I don't drink. My IEE friend and I agree that when people first become friendly with us, we hit it off with them but then they see who we "really" are and they think we're crazy/weird after all lol. So we just stick with each other. There is truth to this

hmm, I have no idea if that's how I look like when I go into my goofy mode, I don't film myself lol and my husband is out of town so can't ask him yet.
but this girl looks and acts (mannerisms, voice modulation) like a hyperactive version of one girl I know quite well, who also tested as INTJ in MBTI. The word hyperactive is the key here, cause the girl I know acts like this in very rare bursts of enthusiasm when she's feeling comfortable around someone. This video does look edited heavily though to keep this "hyperactive" vibe, so maybe they are both EIIs...
But if the girl I know irl is an EII, then she either is a different subtype or I'm an IEE. So she'd be EII-Fi and me EII-Ne or IEE-Fi in such a notation.
She's more difficult to read than me and listens to much more depressive music than I do. I really like her, but there is sth different about us. Hmm. Yeah, this doesn't add anything to the discussion from my side though cause I am talking about smn that noone here knows and can compare. So I guess I'll just stop.

She reminds me of myself a lot. I can kind of "get" her. Of course, I would not act exactly like her because everyone's different but I get her way of thinking.
Also, her birthday is a couple of days away from mine, so maybe it's because we are both taurus-gemini cusps lol.

[Park]

I've never been in prolonged contact with any Delta NF, so I'm afraid I can't be of much (relevant) assistance, sorry.

[Park]

FWIW, I know I, myself, have never changed in regards to my desire to be around or interact with people. I just mind my own business and only mingle with those I like or share a common interest with, pretty much ignoring everyone and everything else.

I like to bond one-on-one and have close to zero interest in large social or group interactions where individuality is stifled and 'before' equals 'after,' i.e. I gain nothing from the experience. I also have no interest in people's private affairs, unless it concerns me directly in some way.

The only other distinct social aspect I can think of where I get 'willingly' involved with people is related to observing interactions around me and intervening against perceived injustice, which again is something that has never changed and has been an integral part of me since preschool.

[applejacks]

EIIs and IEEs - what were you like as children?
I am especially curious of the age up till let's say 8 years old. Were you outgoing and gregarious, unafraid of new people? or were you withdrawn into your own world of rich fantasies?

Did it change when you were older?

I am asking because I am stuck with my typing and reading other people's experiences might help me out with this.

Personally - my family reports me being very extroverted, gregariously approaching new people and children, focused more on creativity rather than on internal experiences, very drawn towards others.

 

At primary school age I was beginning to withdraw - especially when I was heavily bullied for a few years as a young teen.
Then in high school I bounced back and was very active - doing sports, amateur theatre (I liked the rehearsals, the actual plays in front of audience really stressed me), cheerleading (same - liked rehearsals, events stressed me out and prompted me to make errors in routines) and especially focusing on writing to a high school paper (I was pretty much running the paper for a while and loved writing). But I did need alone time to "recharge" in silence a bit at home every day. I was similar as a young adult, but an unhealthy relationship really changed me. I got much more withdrawn and less trusting afterwards.
Relationship with my husband helped me heal a bit. Then I followed a career path I enjoyed, but at a point when I needed to switch jobs (short contract) I budged under family pressure and went on to work in corporate world. Some of it was ok, but the company was under major changes, people were stressed out and there was a lot of mobbing and cutting people's careers going on around. I stayed there for too long for it to be healthy for me. Quitting was one of the best decisions in my life. I associate depression with following the career path I strongly felt I shouldn't follow and trying to go against my instincts. I haven't been depressed since my family "sort of" accepted that I won't become a "business shark".
I don't know if this matters but since being a young teen I always said that I'd like to be a freelancer of some sort (used to think I'd become a journalist for quite a few years, then started teaching which I enjoyed and am now pursuing this again - teaching one on one right now). I don't know how I will handle teaching a large group of children which is an option (maybe) that came up recently, teaching a group of 25 children before was very draining to me. Large part of this was the constant noise (kindergarten) and the fact I was forbidden to communicate with them at all in their mother language.

Right now I function as an introvert to the point that I found it difficult even considering being an extravert. I've had a few scarring experiences which made me distrustful towards people.
It seems like I was more IEE-like as a child and more EII-like as an adult, which makes me wonder whether I am not in the wrong with my EII typing and could be IEE-Fi instead of EII-Ne. This would explain how I functioned as a teen and very young adult also. Periods of depression due to various experiences might explain "lockdown" towards EII... (?) I honestly don't know.

Please help me out here What are your experiences with being outgoing/withdrawn as a child and later on in life and how do you link this with your typing? If you're not an EII nor an IEE but know some - please do mention your observations too. Thank you.
@Becca @Maritsa @anndelise @applejacks @StridingStrider @Park

Hi @aisa !!

I sure hope we can help you with your typing! Although I can't personally recommend a type for you, I'm certain it must be close in compatibility. I've always enjoyed your posts and insights. I secretly want to double date with you and your husband

My parents were always telling me that they should have named me Happy. I was always very happy, sunny, and ready to play. If there were kids around, we'd climb trees and pretend to be Ninja Turtles and save April from the evils lurking within our unfinished basement. If I was alone, I was content to ride my bicycle around the neighborhood, and pretend to be chasing the train.

I was very quirky though, and wore things that I liked (bright colors) regardless of whether they matched. I usually had a hat or something that I felt like myself in. Even to this day, I may have one bold piece of jewelry or an accessory that doesn't necessarily match, but because I just love it, and it gives me confidence to wear.




I wanted to be friends with everyone regardless of age, but when I got a little older (4th - 6th grade), I remember being somewhat intimidated by kids my age, especially bigger groups of kids that I hadn't yet befriended. That, and trends were always changing, so it was easier to wait and see what was "in", and go with the flow in order to get along. I was always shy, analyzing and surveying the group until I got to know kids individually.

I was always behind the bell curve of what was "cool", and was never really a trendsetter. I used to crank Gloria Estefan and practice my 3 point basketball shots in my mismatched outfit, whereas girls at that time were painting their nails, talking on the phone, and listening to Alanis Morissette. I realize now that I always preferred to play with younger kids, because I could have more confidence, and found them to be easily accepting and interested in playing without judging my suggestions. I also liked talking to kids that nobody else talked to. I wanted to find the good in everyone, and genuinely didn't care what they looked like or if they were quirky and awkward.

When you boil it all down, I would've appeared introverted and agreeable in groups, but extroverted, imaginative, and more myself with two or three close friends.

Now that I think about it, nothing has really changed since then. Like you, I've had episodes of depression, mostly in college. During those times I suffered from extreme low self-esteem and stayed inside, afraid of socializing out of some irrational fear of others judging me or not approving of me.

Just adding to your thoughts here... if I had been bullied in school, you can be sure that I would have withdrawn, too. I think that's a fairly natural instinct, especially when we are still young and not quite old enough to stand up for ourselves in light of peer pressures.

How do you like teaching one-on-one so far? I personally couldn't imagine teaching 25 kids. For one thing, I hate being in the spotlight of big crowds. I can't read all the nonverbal signals, and that's how I alter my approach to make sure I'm effective. But one-on-one teaching has been incredible for me.

Can you describe yourself when you're in your element, as opposed to in your depression? I think you might have better luck approaching it this way, since depression symptoms typically lead to introversion.

What have been some of your happiest times / phases? Let's try and break down the elements of what made those times so successful for you. For example, some of my happiest memories have been ski or camping trips with groups of 4 - 8 people, all of whom already knew each other and accepted everyone for who they were. Small, accepting groups are where I'm happiest because it's the right size to give me energy, yet I know everyone and can monitor the social dynamics enough to keep things peaceful and fun.

The same could be said when it came to happiness in my job. I was happiest with smaller organizations in which I could get to know people on a closer level. Bigger companies seemed to competitive and dog-eat-dog for me, and while I love the work that I do, working for myself is isolating and often lacking in creative energy.

[suedehead]

I had anger issues and problems with authority. I don't think I made any 'friends' until the 4th grade, so there's not much else that I can say about the topic. Don't remember much.

[suedehead]

I started to become withdrawn when I was 12, around the time I picked up skateboarding. I spent most of my time either doing that, or hanging out at a skateshop that I used to go to. The people there knew me by name and seemed to like me, although I didn't talk much. Some of the people working there were well-known locals which was cool--one even got me into a video premier that was already RSVPed and I got to sit about 2 seats away from one of my favorite skaters at the time. I had trouble speaking up so there were times where I'd just leave and say 'bye' without anyone noticing.

Once I got to highschool it was difficult for me to relate to anyone since I wasn't interested in anything else.

[aisa]

@applejacks - I will reply in detail later, but I was thinking about you and I'm really happy you answered to this thread.
The more I read you the more I feel like we might be identicals.

[Suz]

I think a lot of how we manifested in childhood depends on parental controls, in the sense that parents of a different quadra may stifle or discourage some of your natural IE-motivated manifestations. For delta NFs in particular I think that would matter a lot because delta NFs aim to be well behaved and to please. Of course that can then lead to internal misery, for which we have different lengths of of fuses, if you know what I mean.

My sister and I are twins and both self-type delta NF (she EII and myself IEE), Interestingly when we were very young, like preschool age or beginning of school, I was considered the shyer one. As we got older, I was the one who kind of would be our "spokesperson", the "brave" one. I also tended to be my sister's guardian to some degree, in that if someone was being mean to her (either in person or behind her back) I would stick up for her and consider that person my enemy from then on. If my mom was picking on her, I would also often step up to take some of the heat off of her, even if the issue had nothing to do with me. It usually worked, and my sister tended to not return the favor. (that's ok...). Whether that makes me an extratim i dont know, but that's how it's been, even to this day. I can't stand anyone picking on her.

One thing my sister confided in me recently was that, to make new friends, she tended to rely on me reaching out to people. I was surprised to hear this actually, and I disagree with it, as some of our best mutual friends were people I had initially underappreciated and she had seen the light and established the initial friendship with.

As kids, we always aimed to be well behaved. Interestingly, our first day of first grade, I was the first person in the class to get in trouble. Why? BECAUSE I WAS BUSY MEETING MY CLASSMATES! I kept talking to the kids next to me, got three warnings from the teacher, and then got sent to the "corner". When I refused to go to the corner, the teacher came over and dragged my chair with me in it, to the corner lol. I even resisted, trying hard to hold on to the table as she was dragging me away. That must have been a funny scene! But, in that moment, I was humiliated and swore to never get in trouble again, at least not at school. To be honest, I was bored with what the teacher was teaching, and found meeting my neighbors much more interesting. So much for being "shy".

[Suz]

As far as being lost in one's fantasies...
I think being imaginative is a big part of anyone's childhood because kids haven't experienced much in life, which leaves a lot up to the imagination. I dont relate to being lost in my fantasies though. I did have a habit of daydreaming (still do, especially when I'm bored), but it was usually just me being lost in my thoughts, and not really imaginary fantasies. I remember having a science teacher who was particularly bothered by my daydreaming, so much so that she kept giving me one grade lower just for zoning out at times in her class. That was so unfair. I mean why punish me for having such a boring teaching style that doesn't keep my attention?

[Minde]

I was quiet, I was good, I was an eldest. I wanted to read, and spend my days exploring new worlds in my imagination. (I have had several distinct "worlds" and storylines I inhabit internally throughout my life.) From what I remember, I was pretty consistently a stereotypical introvert. I was bossy toward my siblings, though (oddly?) they didn't listen to me all that well.

Also, IEE =/= extrovert in the MBTI sense. My sister, an IEE, enjoys being around people but is not a prolific talker. She tends to express her extrovertedness more in how she is drawn toward activity and instigating activity. But activity in the immediate sense; I'm more likely to come up with longer-term ideas for doing things.

Furthermore, while not everyone subscribes to it, you might find some benefit in looking into subtypes. If you're a Fi subtype, that's an "introverted" function, so you'll reflect more of that. Same idea with Ne, an "extroverted" function. Some believe that type can change, or at least oscillate between subtypes throughout a lifetime.

[aisa]

My mother , being a Te type and an activity director in a sense will commonly tell me "get out, move around a little, energy will come back to you" Bad mood is an SLI thing yes, for me and EII it's lack of will power energy

hmm I wouldn't go that far to associate bad mood with only one type, I think everyone has their better and worse days, sometimes a crisis in their lives
however I do find what you wrote here helpful and if the kind of lack of energy that you describe is to be associated with EIIs then that is sth I clearly see in my grandmother and the EIIs I used to be friends with years ago in prmiary school, in myself to a lesser extent, although physically I can get worn out quicker than some other people I know (the most energetic people I know are ESE, LSE and SLI - in this order of descent of energy levels).

[Waster]

@applejacks - I will reply in detail later, but I was thinking about you and I'm really happy you answered to this thread.
The more I read you the more I feel like we might be identicals.

Beautiful daughters of Janus.

[Skepsis]

.

[Skepsis]

.

[applejacks]

As far as being lost in one's fantasies...
I think being imaginative is a big part of anyone's childhood because kids haven't experienced much in life, which leaves a lot up to the imagination. I dont relate to being lost in my fantasies though. I did have a habit of daydreaming (still do, especially when I'm bored), but it was usually just me being lost in my thoughts, and not really imaginary fantasies. I remember having a science teacher who was particularly bothered by my daydreaming, so much so that she kept giving me one grade lower just for zoning out at times in her class. That was so unfair. I mean why punish me for having such a boring teaching style that doesn't keep my attention?

YES! On the subject of teaching style. I did best in the classes where I connected with the teacher, even if they were the harder subjects. If I didn't like the teacher, I didn't put in the effort.

I've also found that my fantasies tend to be heightened expectations of real life- not necessarily anything "unrealistic" like unicorns and what not. For example: when someone invites me to a big house party, I'll instantly assume, unless otherwise stated, that the event will be something on a grand scale, as I tend to latch on to the potential of what a "big house party" can be. The next thing I know, I'll be envisioning decorations and fancy foods and what not, unless I already know the individual and their style.

I just naturally assume others want to make everything they do to be this grand and amazing thing, because that's what I try to do when throwing a "big house party", although I don't realize that I'm having these heightened fantasies (until my husband notes my colorful imagination). But that's just me, I suppose. I'm known to throw moonbounce parties and zombie parties with fake blood and decorations and stuff.

As a child, I suppose my fantasies were more like heightened realities, as well. For example, what it might be like to join the basketball team, and how I might possibly shoot a winning basket in the last 5 seconds, and get lifted up by all the teammates in a triumphant moment. (These things never happened of course, but these were my fantasies... they were "normal" life experience but at their grandest potential)