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Thread: SEIs inspiring trust in others

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default SEIs inspiring trust in others

    SEI - pleasant and genial companion who inspires trust ; I think they do this by making little overtures and gestures; like sticky notes and making themselves seem and appear pleasant and calm...

    Any examples?

    I don't inspire trust by the way and I never EVER make any suggestions or hint about TRUST I think that's relatively Fe stuff.

    And why do they get so easily offended?

    This is all coming from a description of SEI in "making duality work" by the way.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 09-05-2013 at 02:01 PM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    My mom is SEI. Growing up, she would buy little trinkets or snacks for me, oftentimes leaving them on my bed as a surprise. She would usually include a little note, a piece of paper taped onto it with my nickname written on it and "Mom" encircled in a heart at the bottom. Aww, I love my mom, she's so stinkin cute! Anyways, that's a pretty good example, I think. Another example is an SEI friend I have here in FL. I notice that whenever I'm talking to her, she'll nod a lot and try to finish my sentences. I think she does this to show that she's listening intently - a gesture that inspires trust.

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    Idiot Iris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    SEI - pleasant and genial companion who inspires trust; I think they do this by making little overtures and gestures; like sticky notes and making themselves seem and appear pleasant and calm...

    Any examples?

    I don't inspire trust by the way and I never EVER make any suggestions or hint about TRUST I think that's relatively Fe stuff.

    And why do they get so easily offended?

    This is all coming from a description of SEI in "making duality work" by the way.
    I read the Making Duality Work article. A lot of what it says about SEIs seems to be accurate. However none of the SEIs I know are easily offended. They are pretty chill and understanding and it is hard to get them upset. The only time they can seem slightly ruffled is if someone they love is being hurt. Also, the sentence above that says "making themselves seem and appear pleasant and calm" is not quite accurate in my opinion. SEIs just are pleasant and calm. As a probable EIE, I do try to make myself seem and appear pleasant and calm. It is definitely a façade I put on at times. For SEIs it is not a façade. The SEIs I know also don't make little gestures and leave sticky notes. They just quietly go about whatever their job is and when their work is done, they enjoy just sitting with you and relaxing. One of them does like to bake things for people. But not in a "Look what I made for you" way. The cookies just appear with a little smile.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I know the purpose of this is sort of to mellow environments or to mediate them somehow, and thinking of my SEI friends, they can even sort of ignore situations because they can't stand these emotionally intense environments, so what they do is just turn away calmly and imperceptibly only to return to something "fun" and "interesting" to them at a later time.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    I read the Making Duality Work article. A lot of what it says about SEIs seems to be accurate. However none of the SEIs I know are easily offended. They are pretty chill and understanding and it is hard to get them upset. The only time they can seem slightly ruffled is if someone they love is being hurt. Also, the sentence above that says "making themselves seem and appear pleasant and calm" is not quite accurate in my opinion. SEIs just are pleasant and calm. As a probable EIE, I do try to make myself seem and appear pleasant and calm. It is definitely a façade I put on at times. For SEIs it is not a façade. The SEIs I know also don't make little gestures and leave sticky notes. They just quietly go about whatever their job is and when their work is done, they enjoy just sitting with you and relaxing. One of them does like to bake things for people. But not in a "Look what I made for you" way. The cookies just appear with a little smile.
    Interesting. Yeah, as an EII, I don't do well in general social environments. Personally, in my own home and micro environment, I'm pleasant and calm. Otherwise I can be a little Tasmanian Devil RAWR.

    Yeah, I get muffins from my SEI friend
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    You created a thread about how you were vulnerable and trusting just 16 days ago:



    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...erability-love
    Yes, I'm a trusting person. This doesn't mean I try to create that sort of environment for someone else. It's like "this is who I am, take it or leave it"

    Because I don't sit there in a conversation with someone trying to gage whether I trust them or not and I don't look for emotional cues that would indicate motives. I just listen to the person's problems.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    Oh ok, gotcha. That makes more sense.

    Yeah I think Fe expression creates trust in Ti egos, so it's clear how the Fe ego feels toward them. Fe is more expressive/trust-creating through words. Fi is more expressive/trust-creating through actions. Similar to how you said, 'take it or leave it', Fi doesn't try to change someone's perceptions of them as much in-the-moment, but rather thinks more in terms of the overall relationship and their own personal feelings.
    Yes William

    Excellent post by the way
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    Yeah I think Fe expression creates trust in Ti egos, so it's clear how the Fe ego feels toward them.
    Just had a really hard week (well, really just the Monday) - the delivery put immense pressure on my weak points, and by that I mean I was expected to deliver TiNe but with Se, and at speed. Though for the job I somehow did reasonably well, completely wrecked on a personal basis. I was not nice afterwards. No Fe egos around to get me out of the funk. Today am in a different country, had lunch with my SEI former colleague - she took my arm, pulled me close and walked with me like that to the restaurant. And that made all the difference. So yeah, if there were an Fe ego in my team earlier in the week, I would've been shipped up to my room right away, probably with a hug, instructed to come eat at a certain time, etc. when it was apparent I was completely drained after the ordeal. Probably would've bounced back a lot quicker, and probably wouldn't now have to apologise to some people. I don't know that that necessarily relates to trust, but as a Ti ego, what Fe egos signal to me is that they - different from all others - see me. And for an LII specifically, it signals they see what I need when I am in need, and understand I'm not invincible. And then they act to care for me. In an LII mind: If someone does not "see" me in the first place, how can I trust that they will care for me?

    Yes, this friend does get offended easily. Not in the sense that she gets all upset and riled up. But she feels injustices and slights, conflict and harmony, very intimately. So she does tend to withdraw and become sensitive when slighted by others who she feels does not appreciate or understand her. (But I never seem to slight her - even when I am in an abrupt and forthright mood; she, like my dual best friend, always know how to correctly 'take' my directness). When we talk, my main contribution that she values the most is when I help her walk through the possible meanings of the things she has felt keenly about, and the possible ways she might have to respond. I don't know whether it is directly useful to her, but it does seem to make her feel better for that perspective conversation.

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    LOL

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    This is my take on how a SEI inspires trust. Sweet and childlike is the key and the little subtle facial movements due to Fe creative. (Fe subtype anyway)

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by macysmama View Post
    This is my take on how a SEI inspires trust. Sweet and childlike is the key and the little subtle facial movements due to Fe creative. (Fe subtype anyway)
    SEI's intentions can be so misunderstood and undervalued sometimes, I think, especially by LSE. I find that when an SEI tries to communicate something of importance to them to establish trust, an LSE usually ignores it or passes over as some sort of a personal attack...sadly.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    SEI are boring shits that I'd avoid even if my life was at stake. Fuck them.

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