Originally Posted by
Wacey
Anyone who lives for others, in a complete way, is somewhat dilisuional. Living for one's own business is extremely healthy. I can say this with an authority because of the following reasons.
I worked my ass off to pull my life out of dibilitating poverty, you try living for others when your back is breaking and your fingers ach and you know that your constiution isn't made of rock. You live for others when you loose your vehicle in a car accident, then work a full-time job, and a part-time job as well, all while keeping encouraged enough to put yourself through school. Live for others when you are saving up for a mortgage so you can own your own home. Live for others when you try to garner financing for your own vehicle because talking the buss is NOT always practical, and lets face it, riding the bus sucks. Live for others when you build your own house with your partner, with your own hands and haul in your own water because you do have your own well yet. Live for others when its minus 30 degree C. and you have to start you truck and plow your driveway 4:30 in the morning to be at work at 6:00am. Live for other people when you are taking one of your dogs to the vetrinarian and paying the exorborent vet bills. Live for others when you are preparing your own helathy meals because you are trying to take care of your own body. Live for others when illness and physical pain sweep through your life and make you worry for your won wellbeing. Live for others when your mind wakes you at four in the moring with that special kind of fear and dread that you know is the most twisted part of your personality telling you that you are not doing enough with your time.
Live for others you say? I say to you, the most "selfless" people are often the most selfish. I would rather let people alone, and try to impove my own lifes situation.
I lived for others too, as a Paramedic, and a crisis line volunteer, as well as a youth worker in a gay youth group and through groups in the YMCA. Living for others is exhausting. I say, leave the world how it is. And wake up to your own world. Does that mean ignore others who cross your path needing help? Of course not. By all means help in your own way. Because it feels good to do so, and others are in different places on their paths. But remember, beleiving someone or something is going to "save" you from the work is naive. You have to do the work yourself.
Yes I was talking to EII's. The ones who are adults and have moved away and have known the special kind of pain of wanting something better, and knowing that shit is not just given to you, you have to work for it. I am painfully aware of my own shortcomings, and feel other people whose psyces follow an EII pattern feel the same way about themselves sometimes too.
To abbie. Thanks for saying ignore me, personally, and not the message I wrote. Coming onto the 16 types after a month in camp and seeing what you wrote has confused me. I actually regrett this whole post, because what I meant to espouse was the philosophy of "rise above" your life. But I really feel that by writing in response to some of the responses posted here has had the effect of simply bringing me down.
Things are great right now though. Just keep encouraged everyone. Helen Kellers says turn your face to the sun. Do it today, literally stand in the sun.