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Thread: DUALITY

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default DUALITY

    People, you complain about your dual not taking notice of you. EXTRAVERTS take the initiative and effort to get to know the introvert. Because, well extraverts watch things and introverts can't really gauge accurately who's/what's being watched so they do as their self directs them to do. If your dual is a total douche, and they don't try to figure you out to understand you and your being, they aren't going to make the connections and you can't hit them over the head and drag them to your cave, sorry.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    squirreltual's Avatar
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    Well what do you do if they are all hiding IN their cave? Any SEIs that want to hit me over the head and drag me back to their cave, that is totally cool.

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    Professional Turtle Taknamay's Avatar
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    Aw

    I want to be hit over the head and dragged into someone's cave.
    What is a utopia? A dream unrealized, but not unrealizable. -- Joseph Dejacque
    EII (INFj) - 9w1 - INFP - Scorpio - Hufflepuff
    Johari - Fediverse

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    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
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    Extroverts take the initiative to get to know the introvert, but it's up to the guy after they know each other, regardless of which is the extrovert or introvert.

    (Infantiles want hit over the head?)

    LSE
    1-6-2 so/sx
    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    From my perspective, it has to go both ways. A relationship can't thrive solely from one party advancing towards the other while the other simply putters around waiting for something (or nothing) to happen. I get that someone has to break the ice somehow, and that this role stereotypically falls upon the Extravert, but unless there's something on the other end pushing back the relationship is just going to go nowhere. This means both people have to make an interest in getting to know the other on a deeper level, not just the EXXx.

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    Feel God's Thunder Azure Flame's Avatar
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    who was complaining where?
    Perfect<------------------------------------------------------------------------------>Loops and Tings



    Ambivert / Aggressor / Trailblazer / Nomad / Alpha Caretaker / Free Spirit / Kevlar Speed Demon / Ninja

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by squirreltual View Post
    Well what do you do if they are all hiding IN their cave? Any SEIs that want to hit me over the head and drag me back to their cave, that is totally cool.
    LOL SEI are out shopping, traveling, out at bars, dancing, etc...consult Hkkmr.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Extroverts take the initiative to get to know the introvert, but it's up to the guy after they know each other, regardless of which is the extrovert or introvert.

    (Infantiles want hit over the head?)
    No. Extraverts have to keep consistent initiative because Introverts lapse into their introverted state; it's kind of like someone in their comfort cave who constantly needs to be checked up on and said "hi" to otherwise the person is just a lone cub in the cave.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    squirreltual's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    LOL SEI are out shopping, traveling, out at bars, dancing, etc...consult Hkkmr.
    Well there goes several weeks of scouring bakeries.

    I can spot the lady ones. Just not the man ones.

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    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    No. Extraverts have to keep consistent initiative because Introverts lapse into their introverted state; it's kind of like someone in their comfort cave who constantly needs to be checked up on and said "hi" to otherwise the person is just a lone cub in the cave.
    If a guy can't take some initiative, he's not mature enough.

    LSE
    1-6-2 so/sx
    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Serious Left-Static Negativist Eliza Thomason's Avatar
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    I used to wait for the guy to make all the moves, I guess that's why I did not seriously date a SLI before, because there were more E types around to pursue me and I guess I began to think it was my due.

    Recently I remember now sort-of dating, just a lovely mutual interest really, a SLI in junior college. We used to walk around the campus and look at the big ponds and the willow trees, and like my SLI now, he had the nicest hugs and held hands so nice, and he also wrote me the nicest dearest letters of admiration and sharing his thoughts. We used to take walks near the lake that was near his family home and it was so comfortable talking with him. Oh and I sat on his lap a lot at school or in his living room. He was also my "teacher", having just served the student governemnt positon I'd just been elected to, and he let me know how to navigate that new territory. I remember meeting his family, at his house, and we were in his room (door open, family about) and the song, "You Are My Shining Star" came on and he pulled me to him to dance in the small space of his room and it was so dear and it became our song.

    That was just before everything changed. Just as I was to leave for a summer working at an inn in the mountains, he was invited by an uncle to assist him in running a summer adventure program for older high school girls, rock climbing with ropes, white water rafting, backpacking up mountains and such, with a different group and at a different fantastic place around the country each week, including one week in my mountains. But he wanted to "sort of" break it off with me before the summer, at least, not make any commitment or promises. "Okay" I said, but the fact is, it changed everything for me. I wanted someone who loved me so much he wanted to pledge his love for me to be sure I would be there for him. He could take his new adventures with new young girls who would look up to him; I would have my life. And when I returned to school I did, and there was this distance now between us, and he wrote a sad "I wonder what happened to us" letter, but, unless he was going to ask me in person, I was not going to explain. He needed to come pursue me seriously now if he wanted me, and he didn't, so that SLI Dual relationship never became anything.

    So two Dual ships pass in the night. I went on to date other non-Duals and married my extroverted, pursuing, romantic Benefactor husband which almost immediately became very unhappy... and it was a loong marriage.

    I fell for my current SLI love sudden and hard and I have, in my "E", done much of the letting-him-know-how-I-feel. I would not have done this without sensing it coming back from him, and it didn't take much from him for me to know - in fact it was always "just enough" from him to keep me going but NEVER effusive! I was/am the effusive one. But I did long for fuller pledges of love early on, but decided to wait it out. I am so glad it became my way to wait for him to say-and-show, because he does now, and its a treat because it comes when I don't expect it, and I know its sincere and heartfelt. But I have certainly initiated a lot of talk and affectionate touch. I have used my E!

    [I listened to that song just now, that familiar us-song from back then, and no wonder I shut down with no promise before summer.. "I'll never leave you lonely, give my love to you only..." that is what I wanted to see, and I didn't...]
    Last edited by Eliza Thomason; 09-05-2012 at 12:04 PM.

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    Local Hero Saberstorm's Avatar
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    So far, I do not get this duality thing. Most girls I have dated seem to be clones of Scarlett Lux - basically ENFj's that spout off random beatnick poetry. That is not my dual! If I am an LII, then they are my semi-dual. However, to the people I have explained socionics to in real life, I am an IEI, not an LII. So ENFjs would be my Mirror. I don't get anything out of ESFj's, and I cannot find female ESTp's if they hit me on the head.

    hmm.. there is a hole in the theory!
     
    God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
    - John Piper


    Socionics -
    the16types.info

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saberstorm View Post
    So far, I do not get this duality thing. Most girls I have dated seem to be clones of Scarlett Lux - basically ENFj's that spout off random beatnick poetry. That is not my dual! If I am an LII, then they are my semi-dual. However, to the people I have explained socionics to in real life, I am an IEI, not an LII. So ENFjs would be my Mirror. I don't get anything out of ESFj's, and I cannot find female ESTp's if they hit me on the head.

    hmm.. there is a hole in the theory!
    LOL i know two female ESTp
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eliza Thomason View Post
    I fell for my current SLI love sudden and hard and I have, in my "E", done much of the letting-him-know-how-I-feel. I would not have done this without sensing it coming back from him, and it didn't take much from him for me to know - in fact it was always "just enough" from him to keep me going but NEVER effusive! I was/am the effusive one. But I did long for fuller pledges of love early on, but decided to wait it out. I am so glad it became my way to wait for him to say-and-show, because he does now, and its a treat because it comes when I don't expect it, and I know its sincere and heartfelt. But I have certainly initiated a lot of talk and affectionate touch. I have used my E!

    [I listened to that song just know, that familiar us-song from back then, and no wonder I shut down with no promise before summer.. "I'll never leave you lonely, give my love to you only..." that is what I wanted to see, and I didn't...]
    I need an initiative taking person. And someone who touches me first
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Ok, how would I find a SLE girl??
     
    God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
    - John Piper


    Socionics -
    the16types.info

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    (Infantiles want hit over the head?)
    Kinda.
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    LOL SEI are out shopping, traveling, out at bars, dancing, etc...consult Hkkmr.
    Oh god, maybe I should reconsider my type. I'm usually working, watching movies, napping, sleeping, drinking with friends, and posting pointlessly on the internet.
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    I need an initiative taking person. And someone who touches me first
    Then that is the person you'll be attracted to. I, however, want neither the sole responsibility of seeking out the other person nor the sole recipient of all the attention without giving any initiative back. There has to be a greater sense of mutuality in relationships for me.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    Oh god, maybe I should reconsider my type. I'm usually working, watching movies, napping, sleeping, drinking with friends, and posting pointlessly on the internet.
    Do you drink with friends at home ???
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  20. #20
    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Usually, cheaper than bars, don't have to drive anywhere, plus you can grill up some food, put on music, play drinking games, have random deep conversations with people, etc etc etc. I'm kind of boring though.
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    Really? If anything, my problem is that SLEs won't leave me alone, especially the unhealthy ones.
    Probably ILI, or IE I/EIE/EII. PM me if you have ideas about my type! Ennagram 2w3 7w8 1w9.

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    Well, I don't know what..
    Well, I don't know who..
    Well, I don't know where or when..
    Well, I don't know it..
    Well, I don't know they..
    Well, I don't know thick or thin..

    Landing in empty parking lots
    in deserted discount stores,
    SEIs are landing by the scores!
    Dropping down in low-rider cars
    from Pluto, Venus, and Mars..
    SEIs are counting heads in singles bars!

    ah hah hah ha hah

    Walking up and down the empty boulevards...
    SEIs with muscles that are very hard!

    Walking up and down and falling everywhere,
    SEIs flying through the air.
    They don't know what goes on,
    but the SEIs are big and strong.

    hoo ha ha ha hah

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    Beware ladies! I am on the prowl and if you are fortunate enough I WILL hunt you down like a gazelle and drag you to the nearest cave!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    No. Extraverts have to keep consistent initiative because Introverts lapse into their introverted state;
    I'd say a good portion of really amazing intimacy is achieved by the extravert pulling the introvert out of their own head-space into the "we-space" ... where they might usually feel very vulnerable or uncomfortable any other time, yet comfortable and grounded if with the right person.

    I thought the interaction between Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson in the movie Lost In Translation was an interesting look at such interaction. If the extravert is truly extraverted and healthy, this should be second nature and come natural.

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    Decadent Charlatan Aquagraph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    LOL SEI are out shopping, traveling, out at bars, dancing, etc...consult Hkkmr.
    In my experience,
    they are usually stoned and NEET. They often have artistic interests.
    “I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden

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    There's only one person I've ever met who I had some magical experience with. idk if it's duality, but I do know that nothing is ever as simple as all that. There's so much more to being that your type, and your dual had better have a lot more to offer than duality!

  27. #27
    Creepy-pokeball

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    The 16 centipede :[

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    If a guy can't take some initiative, he's not mature enough.
    you're lazy
    Perfect<------------------------------------------------------------------------------>Loops and Tings



    Ambivert / Aggressor / Trailblazer / Nomad / Alpha Caretaker / Free Spirit / Kevlar Speed Demon / Ninja

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    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    you're lazy
    If you never take initiative, you're lazy.

    LSE
    1-6-2 so/sx
    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  30. #30
    Clearance level: 10 (9 is maximum) Fermi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    If you never take initiative, you're lazy.
    or shy

    ARRRRRGGHHHHHH *MUSTER BRAVERY*
    MUST AVERT NEGATIVE FEELINGS

    example:

    Girls give me her number and says. You should call me!
    Reply: Yeah sure, I guess I could do that! But I *might* get swept out of my room by a sudden decrease in air pressure outside my window and I will be flown away to distant lands where my cell phone has no cover!
    She: *rolls eyes* yeah whatever. Bye.
    is like a wet kiss on the cheek and a warm hug by a cute smiling girl.
    is the confetti shots on your birthday party with all your friends.
    is a way to completely rip apart the face of god and stare directly at the naked universe.
    is like over here and then over there and they are all connected and I am on amphetamine.

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    Although I'm clrealy Extroverted in Socionics, very outgoing among my acquaintances, I'm rather socially reserved. In my knowledge Alpha NTs are so, but whatever the case is, in mine, I'm not the one to have initiative with strangers, especially females. If there is no existing relation, something to say, a real purpose, I'm just not making something up - it's nonsesical and embarrassing. In a relationship or not, I expect my peer to come up with some nonsense as a pretext for doing things together and interacting, if we lack a reason - I accept this sort of manipulation (calling things on their name) but I'm not doing it myself. I always need a sound reason for anything; if this were not the case, I don't think my Dual would even put value in me - I would lack credibility vis-a-vis the SEI and all those who appreciate me for who I am right now, IMO.

    I'm actually expecting a phone call from a SEI woman next week-end for meeting to discuss a hobby art project. Her unexpected initiative, I'm not at all into culture, though she is an art freelance. She first asked my IEI friend - an über socially-extroverted person - to make us acquaintance, my assumption is that this project is just a pretext for getting to know each other in private, but I am not sure... Considering this is the only female that strongly caught my interest in months (and I think she is SEI), I'm going to buy into it, let's see how this will work out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    People, you complain about your dual not taking notice of you. EXTRAVERTS take the initiative and effort to get to know the introvert. Because, well extraverts watch things and introverts can't really gauge accurately who's/what's being watched so they do as their self directs them to do. If your dual is a total douche, and they don't try to figure you out to understand you and your being, they aren't going to make the connections and you can't hit them over the head and drag them to your cave, sorry.
    Maritsa, I understand you, but if they don't take initiative, they are not necessarily douches. They may just not be for you. There may be many reasons for someone who is interested in you to be reserved, try to be more understanding. Put yourself in their shoes, maybe they think the same about you. If that is the case, either you do it yourself or forget about it, just stop holding grudges and put everything on the type.
    Shock intuition, diamond logic.
     

    The16types.info Scientific Model

  32. #32
    EffyCold The Ineffable's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    they are usually stoned and NEET.
    I hope not.
    Shock intuition, diamond logic.
     

    The16types.info Scientific Model

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    Decadent Charlatan Aquagraph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    In my experience,
    they are usually stoned and NEET. They often have artistic interests.
    The bolded part is the one you quoted..
    Quote Originally Posted by The Ineffable View Post
    I hope not.
    ..and it's not accurate if taken out of context involving my experience which is entirely based on my reference groups.
    “I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden

  34. #34
    EffyCold The Ineffable's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    ..and it's not accurate if taken out of context involving my experience which is entirely based on my reference groups.
    Are you suggesting that, in your experience, being stoned and NEET distinguishes SEIs from the other types?
    Shock intuition, diamond logic.
     

    The16types.info Scientific Model

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    Decadent Charlatan Aquagraph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ineffable View Post
    Are you suggesting that, in your experience, being stoned and NEET distinguishes SEIs from the other types?
    I am saying that I'm a fucking unemployed stoner and that the birds of feather flock together.
    “I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden

  36. #36
    Creepy-Snaps

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    Either guys or girls can initiate interest. In today's culture, I still feel there's an emphasis on guys initiating, but in other cultures throughout time, sometimes girls had initiated. Typically extroverts initiate, but introverts can as well. Regardless, whoever decides they want to initiate, has to overcome their fear of rejection. To do that, just treat it likes a numbers game, do it a lot, and you'll get desensitized to it and comfortable. If you're afraid to ask your crush out, go ask 10 people out, and you'll learn not to take rejection personally, and you'll develop some confidence and swagger.

    After the relationship has started, guys should definitely pursue the girl. Deep down, guys like fighting and rescuing the maiden in distress, and girls like to be captivating and fought for.

  37. #37
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae2point0 View Post
    The 16 centipede :[
    What do you mean?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  38. #38
    Creepy-pokeball

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa Darmandzhyan View Post
    What do you mean?
    joke from chat. DO NOT look up the movie it references.

  39. #39

  40. #40
    So fluffeh. Cuddly McFluffles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snaps View Post
    Deep down, guys like fighting and rescuing the maiden in distress, and girls like to be captivating and fought for.
    Some of us, yes, but I wouldn't generalize that to the entire population. People differ, you know.
    Johari/Nohari

    "Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."

    Fruit, the fluffy kitty.

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