Se polr and demands

[machintruc]

LII's and EII's are both have an issue about demands. (i.e. what they expect from others and what others expected them to)

LII's are "directive" or "normative" types, but their leadership style is like "OK, you can do whatever you want, as long as you don't cause trouble". They're quick to figure out what norms are meaningful or meaningless.

EII's, on contrast, are pretty demanding people. Their makes them have a fascination for prohibitory rules. They don't know how demanding they should act, so they're likely to be too heavy on demands, whereas LII's are tend to be excessively light.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. What do you mean by demands, specifically? I think it's also safe to point out that they (EIIs) might not even realize the demands they're making on people, perhaps precisely because of their Se polr (In addition to the placement of all their other functions.)

[machintruc]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. What do you mean by demands, specifically? I think it's also safe to point out that they (EIIs) might not even realize the demands they're making on people, perhaps precisely because of their Se polr (In addition to the placement of all their other functions.)

I mean being demanding, or "picky". That's all.

[redbaron]

Aren't demands often the opposite of prohibitory rules? IME among IJ: prohibitory rules ~ negativist and democratic, DO THIS demands ~ positivist and aristocratic.

totally my experience also.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

LIIs kind of expect that you know things without teaching you and expect you not to do things that are otherwise disruptive, annoying, stupid.

This is so true! My LII father for example.... I wanted him to teach me more stuff growing up, and he kinda just already assumed I knew everything. I did learn a lot more on my own, but I kinda wanted him to show me more I think. I think I never got the that I wanted from him. He's my dad and I still love him for all he can do for me, but he was just helpless in that area.

Whenever I asked a question (especially regarding a subject that I was completely clueless about) he gave me a funny look like 'You actually don't know that?' kind of intellectually arrogant or something.

Also if I told an off-color joke he got really mad at me. I can't even say 'bitch' around him, he thinks it's offensive. I can't even say 'fuck' when the situation is appropriate, he's really old fashioned in that sense. He wants me to exert like my brother and mom does but that's just now how I operate. If I do give him some more 'outgoing ' like the ESFjs , he lights up around me, shows more eye contact, and feels warm with me but it's not a natural interaction of ours.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I also sometimes try to give him like an ESFj's since I know he really enjoys that, but it's just awkward and he can tell that it's not the same thing or something. It's like, I know what he wants and how to get along with him but I'm still not the best person for the job. (Just like how I'm aware of clumsy and not so clumsy )

Also of course his polr frustrates me to no end, and I've really hurt his feelings before on that subject. One time I wanted to talk to him more about how he was bullied in school because of it, but he wouldn't talk with me about it. This annoys me but of course it was some weird social role he didn't want me to violate like 'I'm supposed to be the father even if you know my weaknesses' or something, so I didn't fight with him about it. Besides he can still be effectively intimidating and punishing even if his is god-awful.

Also another weird thing is when I try to give him sometimes it comes off as and it weirds him out.

He's so good at those trivia games and stuff too, and he just knows SOOOO much, way more than me. But again this is also where *I* start to feel stupid. He's all 'Omg you don't know that?' He doesn't realize sometimes how that makes people feel. But then to get along with him, I sometimes joke about a cartoon or show I know he likes, and it gets a little better.