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Thread: INF types and verbal defense

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    Default INF types and verbal defense

    From a thread on another board, it came across that some INFs (Me included, unfortunately) use quite harsh verbal defense methods when threatened. At this point, it would seem that quite many of them (From limited evidence, of course) have quite the acid tongue and know where to strike. It goes something like this:

    When I'm feeling threatened, my subconscious takes the age-old "fight-or-flight" decision, almost always landing on "fight" in order not to shame me. Indeed, if anybody do abuse me, I'm prone to stay right where I am out of sheer bullheadedness. I usually retreat into my shell... at first. However, do the stupid thing and threaten me more, and I sooner or later lose control of my emotions, sliver by sliver. The first (And usually last) reaction to this is when I use my to pick up on cues,
    to read them through and sort them and my to pick through them and determine "weak points" (Usually PoLRs, but at times mere "sore spots"). I then use my - side to deliver them harshly straight into the face of the other, sometimes even feigning a smirk to amplify the effect. I usually manage to make the other step down, and they often fear me for the next year, but this leaves me with nerves of old wool and muscles of jell-o, not to mention the dirtiest conscience sonce the days of Eve.

    This thing also has a tendency to seep through my defenses when I'm just plain extraverting, making me avoid those times like the plague.

    So here are my questions:
    Is this true of other INFjs (And INFps, if they read this thread) on here, as well, or is this merely a product of the environment?
    Are there any other types that do this kind of thing?
    If it is indeed regular, is there any typological reason why this might be so, beyond "defensive measures" (I've kinda got a vague idea about hidden agendas, PoLRs and so on)?
    Is my hypothesis of the functions used and the way they are used somewhat correct, and if not, what exactly is wrong?
    And, last but not least: Is there any way I can gain full control of this side of my personality and stop it completely? I see no reason for it to exist, as other and better ways than verbal violence can always be found.

    Herzblut: As I have a suspicion that this is, at least in part, my ESTp "dark side" acting up (Dark sides, of course, being the very worst traits of the four-letter opposite. But, I must wonder: Do threatened ESTps become timid, easily hurt scaredy-cats?), your comments would be particularily appreciated.
    Beware! Nerd genes on the prowl.

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  2. #2
    Creepy-

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    No, anytone can do that. You are just mean

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    Neither. I'm exploring a defensive strategy and looking for a way to eliminate it.

    Guest: Call me mean if you wish, If you read my post, you would see that this is what I do when threatened and the person who threatened me doesn't back down.

    EDIT:
    Referring to the strategy: Yes, it is mean. It is lowly, malicious, counter-productive, dividing and unwelcome at best.
    Referring to me as a person: I don't *think* I'm mean . I may well be, but it is not deliberate. However, this one thing I'd say doesn't make me mean, as it isn't a first-strike weapon, but a defensive measure.
    However, I agree, it may seem mean (Heck, the tactic is mean!), and that is why I want to get rid of it.
    Beware! Nerd genes on the prowl.

    INFj - The Holy CPU Saint
    Dishonorary INFp
    Baah

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    Darklord said: " From a thread on another board, it came across that some INFs (Me included, unfortunately) use quite harsh verbal defense methods when threatened. At this point, it would seem that quite many of them (From limited evidence, of course) have quite the acid tongue and know where to strike."

    I'm still hung between INFp and INFj, but I know exactly what you are saying here, only I strike at the first perceived punch.
    <--- Me pouring out all my love on you!

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    meatburger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darklord View Post
    . But, I must wonder: Do threatened ESTps become timid, easily hurt scaredy-cats?), your comments would be particularily appreciated.
    No. Quite the opposite.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaļs Nin

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    Way back then I too thought Darklord sounded mean or something. Looking for people's polr intentional to use it to hurt them did not really seem like something an INFx particularly and INFj would do but I think now that my impression about that was very, very wrong.
    Socionics: XNFx
    MBTI: INFJ

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    ChristiRB's Avatar
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    Default I can only answer a handful of your questions...

    Is this true of other INFjs (And INFps, if they read this thread) on here, as well, or is this merely a product of the environment?

    It is actually not true of me. This is mostly due to growing up with a mother who was verbally abusive and critical so I try to watch what I say. However, if I get VERY angry (and that's rare), I can be very mean verbally. But it has only happened a hand full of times in my life and I immediately felt remorse after it was expressed. (I hate anger)

    Is there any way I can gain full control of this side of my personality and stop it completely? I see no reason for it to exist, as other and better ways than verbal violence can always be found.

    I would say yes but it would take some time. Sometimes we just do things out of habit because we have always done it that way. It would take some time to learn how to refocus, not react verbally when you are put in that kind of situation and replace your behavior with something more constructive.
    ~ INFj ~

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