I have a coworker who I think is likely INTj. He is in a superior position to me so i have to go to him for help when I'm having trouble finding some information or solving a problem and need additional information.

Many times i find myself getting really frustrated in what I perceive as dalliances and too conversational exchanges. I mean, it's cool that I don't feel pressure or anything since I know that he gives me consolance about problems or compliments me on Si things, and accepts Ne jokes.. but I can't help wanting to smash things when I talk to him and wait for him to do what I need to do, get mired in techical difficulties, or be seemingly oblivious to the fact that others are waiting for him to finish speaking.

Do you think this has to do with identical relationships, or specifically identicals at work? Have you had good relations with an identical in working relations? I think it's telling that I can appreciate the allowances he makes for me when talking about conversational things, but not when I need something done that's work related. I also notice that I make him tense when I "rush" things or point out something I think he missed.

EDIT: an example: he talks to me in a baby voice sometimes when he says hello.