What might cause a person to repeatedly end up attracting people who possess the dual-seeking function to a pathological degree?
I am, for the moment, assuming I am INTp.
I dated an ESFp with borderline personality disorder. Long before I started thinking of our relationship in terms of socionics, I knew that we would never have a problem with sex. In fact, we still get together for sex. In that department, his controlling nature works perfectly. But outside the bedroom, the Se was out of control. He is almost universally known as an asshole, yet to me has always been a tender asshole.
We are still drawn to each other, and I have thought many times that if only he knew how to compartmentalize his manipulation and forcefulness, we'd be great together.
It happened with my most recent boss (ESFx?) too. She is a controlling person who was fired for her inappropriate actions and lack of profressionalism. Yet, the disturbing part is that I, as assistant manager under her, seemed to attract the worst of her instability and control. I was feeding her cat for awhile. Once when I told her I would no longer be able to do so, she left me harrassing messages, saying things like "You love cats....I know you do....As a human being, please, you at least owe me an explanation. I cannot go on wondering why you are doing this to me....I am an emotional mess...." Blech. I can't stand people who are emotionally manipulative. She was that AND a micromanager. Deal-breaker.
So, how does one avoid attracting the dual function^n?