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Thread: Is my friend INFj or ENFj?

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    Default Is my friend INFj or ENFj?

    Forgive me if this topic has been discussed previously (I searched for it and couldn't find an exact match), but I'd like to know how to distinguish between an INFj and an ENFj.
    I have a particular friend who has baffled me for quite some time; he demonstrates traits of both types, and I'm not sure how to describe the style of interaction that goes on between us.
    He's very intellectual, emotionally demonstrative, touchy-feely, and internally worried. He alternates between being effusive and withdrawn, self-loathing and self-aggrandizing, and expressive and silent.
    He's usually very open about his emotions; our first conversation began online with him telling me how miserable he was and how much he wished others cared about him as much as he cared about them. He usually takes the initiative in all of our interactions and frequently sends me online messages telling me how much he misses me (he does this to several other girls as well, though he values exclusivity). He cares a lot about people and is always offering to help them, though he can get kind of intrusive.
    He hates the way he looks (will never show his face in pictures) and isn't very fashion-conscious. His online journal consists almost entirely of getting-to-know-you questionnaires (you know the ones I'm talking about) and rants about how he he'll never have a love interest.

    He tested as INFj in several MBTI tests, but I'm somewhat skeptical because he demonstrates pretty intense , though he's got elements of the quirky humor.
    His current close relationships are the following:

    Best friend: ENTj
    Crush: ISFp
    Former girlfriends: INTp (both broke up with him because he was too needy and smothering, among other things)

    He just graduated college with a degree in English and Philosophy, loves to read (reads four books a week), enjoys discussing philosophical topics, and is enamored with sci-fi, comic books, and fantasy.
    He and I get along very well despite the fact that I find him a bit smothering; we can hang out for hours on end without getting bored. He's also begun taking medication for depression, so he's gotten much better and isn't nearly as emo.
    Any thoughts?
    INFp, Intuitive subtype, Enneagram 6w5
    Back in school and on semi-permanent hiatus from the forum

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    There is a huge difference between EII and EIE.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Yes, on paper and in theory. But sometimes the line is blurred.
    INFp, Intuitive subtype, Enneagram 6w5
    Back in school and on semi-permanent hiatus from the forum

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    Default Re: Is my friend INFj or ENFj?

    Quote Originally Posted by uninspired
    He's very intellectual, emotionally demonstrative, touchy-feely, and internally worried. He alternates between being effusive and withdrawn, self-loathing and self-aggrandizing, and expressive and silent.
    He's usually very open about his emotions; our first conversation began online with him telling me how miserable he was and how much he wished others cared about him as much as he cared about them. He usually takes the initiative in all of our interactions and frequently sends me online messages telling me how much he misses me (he does this to several other girls as well, though he values exclusivity). He cares a lot about people and is always offering to help them, though he can get kind of intrusive.
    He hates the way he looks (will never show his face in pictures) and isn't very fashion-conscious. His online journal consists almost entirely of getting-to-know-you questionnaires (you know the ones I'm talking about) and rants about how he he'll never have a love interest.
    What makes you think INFj from that?
    Fe>Fi

    He tested as INFj in several MBTI tests, but I'm somewhat skeptical because he demonstrates pretty intense , though he's got elements of the quirky humor.
    His current close relationships are the following:

    Best friend: ENTj
    Crush: ISFp
    Former girlfriends: INTp (both broke up with him because he was too needy and smothering, among other things)

    He just graduated college with a degree in English and Philosophy, loves to read (reads four books a week), enjoys discussing philosophical topics, and is enamored with sci-fi, comic books, and fantasy.
    He and I get along very well despite the fact that I find him a bit smothering; we can hang out for hours on end without getting bored. He's also begun taking medication for depression, so he's gotten much better and isn't nearly as emo.
    Any thoughts?
    Do you know many EIIs?
    It sounds like you are letting that "INFj test result" hold a lot of influence.

    That description sounds vastly ENFj > INFj.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Ah..... You don't get it yet either, apparently:

    He tested as INFj in several MBTI tests,
    That is not possible.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I think that alot of socially awkward "pining for the ladies" guys and the bottom of the social ladder types can test INFj without necissarily being INFj.

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    I thought INFp when I read that. lol. Dunno.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    It is theoretically a very ENFj description. More ENFj than INFj anyway. But I can't relate to it. INFp is possible, but ENFj is theoretically more accurate.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

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    Sounds like an unhappy ENFj to me. Forget about any MBTI tests he's taken.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

  10. #10
    Creepy-bg

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    It is theoretically a very ENFj description. More ENFj than INFj anyway. But I can't relate to it. INFp is possible, but ENFj is theoretically more accurate.
    that sounds good (in theory :wink: )

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    Sounds like an unhappy ENFj to me. Forget about any MBTI tests he's taken.
    Yes.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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