Type this duality

[eunice]

Someone I know wrote a description of her ideal guy:
I would like someone who is extraverted, outgoing, adventurous, has a good sense of humor and athletic. Physically, my ideal person would be someone who is tall, lean, buff, has nice biceps to lean on, tanned, and has single eyelids. He should not laugh at my lack of athleticism, but make me feel good by guiding me how to play the sports he usually does so that we can have fun together. He should accept that I'm a shy person who is reserved around people, and not criticize my quietness for unfriendliness. I want him to show me the world and what it can offer. He will bring me along to the latest clubs as I'm too reserved to go to this type of places, go backpacking together and explore new places, try new restaurants etc. He should always be on the driver's seat since I'm easily confused with directions and get lost easily. Whenever I'm sad and depressed, he would be there for me to cheer me up indirectly by sharing funny anecdotes as we walk endlessly along the beach like there's no tomorrow. He should like giving and receiving hugs and kisses, and should not be bothered by the fact that I like giving unexpected hugs. He is also someone who is driven and hardworking, but still remains sane despite how busy his schedule is. He generally plays hard and works hard.

What do you think?

[UDP]

Sounds like you
who is uncertain about whether you are INFp or INFj
who is looking for an ESTx. Sounds slightly towards ESTj, as it seems more creative - seeking.

what do you think enuice?

[UDP]

[olduser]

childishness and general inability.

[UDP]

childishness and general inability.

It seems heavily infantile in one light.


enuice, do you think you are or ?
Are vibrant emotions something you think you use creatively?
Or, in your relations, are you more subdued, and think things don't need to be expressed a whole lot?



It seems like something in your life is causing you to question your former consideration of being in the delta quadra and being an INFj.

[aestrivex]

the description sounds like an LSE, but other aspects of it reflect an SLI, and still others want an Fe type.

i think to a certain extent this description reflects an idealized partner who doesn't really exist.

[Expat]

SLE - IEI duality.

[Joy]

SLE - IEI duality.

that was my first thought, and I don't see anything that makes any other duality seem likely

[Mea]

SLE - IEI duality.

Yup. That was my first impression.

[Kristiina]

same opinion - ESTp-INFp.

[FDG]

She isn't really describing a negativist. My guess would be that she's looking for Fe.

Single eyelids? Wtf??

[UDP]

That is a term I am also unfamiliar with.


The reason I said infantile is that it sounds like she really wants to be taken care of in basically every way. But I am not sure how to differentiate that between a victim INFp ideal and the INFj.

Another interpretation of that duality is a girl who doesn't really want to do anything, and wants a magical guy to do everything, especially protect her insecurities. There is little emphasis on growth or progress, or maturity. So yes, to some extent:

childishness and general inability.

But you'll have to ask "your friend" under what conditions she wrote all of this. If she was feeling especially emotionally needy at the time, it may be completely useless.

[Joy]

That is a term I am also unfamiliar with.


The reason I said infantile is that it sounds like she really wants to be taken care of in basically every way. But I am not sure how to differentiate that between a victim INFp ideal and the INFj.

Another interpretation of that duality is a girl who doesn't really want to do anything, and wants a magical guy to do everything, especially protect her insecurities. There is little emphasis on growth or progress, or maturity.

I dunno, it sounds like a girly girl looking for a manly man to me, and the stuff that she wants him to take care of are pretty much sensory things in general, though there's definitely extroversion and Se in this guy as she describes him.

[FDG]

I have no idea what "single eyelids" are either. It sounds like she doesn't want to date frogs, or snakes, or whatever creature it is who has double eyelids. Isn't it frogs who have double eyelids? Or is it snakes? I can't remember.

Probably she meant "unibrow", I know an ESTp guy that has it and an ENFj defined it as "manly" even if it obviously looks like shit

[Gilly]

Se dual seeking. Obviously.

[KSpin]

Just a quick suggestion, since I can't be bothered to read everything...

Is it possible that this isn't a dual relationship that she's seeking?

[Exodus]

Just a quick suggestion, since I can't be bothered to read everything...

Is it possible that this isn't a dual relationship that she's seeking?

That's an interesting question. People generally assume that you unconsciously describe your "ideal partner" as your dual. I think it's usually true, but it could be altered by poor self-perception.

[Joy]

I thought of that, too. I don't think you can really know what you need in a relationship until you've had it. Duality brings out type traits, so if you haven't had some sort of relationship with your dual, it's difficult to know your type.

[aestrivex]

I thought of that, too. I don't think you can really know what you need in a relationship until you've had it. Duality brings out type traits, so if you haven't had some sort of relationship with your dual, it's difficult to know your type.

objection.

[Exodus]

Duality brings out type traits, so if you haven't had some sort of relationship with your dual, it's difficult to know your type.

I think that's a bit extreme. There are other ways of knowing.

[Joy]

yeah... but if you grew up around people from different or opposing quadras or in an environment that doesn't reward your ego functions, you're going to act differently and relate to different type descriptions and whatnot. I'm sure there are people who guess correctly without ever having their ego functions rewarded. I think there are a lot more people who are wrong though. And if you haven't experienced duality, how could you know for sure?

[ThePeddler]

Single Eyelids is just her polite way of indicating she wants an Asian man. Not all Asians have it, but most do. I guess she was trying to not bring race overtly into the description.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicanthic_fold

[eunice]

I agree to a certain extent. I feel that sometimes we think that we want such a partner, but whether we can get along with him is a different story. I also acknowledge that our different experiences with people around us will give us a better understanding of who we get along with better and complement our strengths and weaknesses.

[Mea]

Single Eyelids is just her polite way of indicating she wants an Asian man. Not all Asians have it, but most do. I guess she was trying to not bring race overtly into the description.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicanthic_fold

Err, not most, in fact, it's also not very common among Asians. At least from where I'm from.

[Gilly]

For the record:

This is not a good method of ACTUALLY figuring out the types of these people involved. However, as far as what the essence of the description you posted suggests (this being seperate from the actual reality of the people in question), it's definitely Se-dual seeking. It's something that should be taken into consideration, but is by no means definitive.

[eunice]

Single Eyelids is just her polite way of indicating she wants an Asian man. Not all Asians have it, but most do. I guess she was trying to not bring race overtly into the description.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicanthic_fold

Err, not most, in fact, it's also not very common among Asians. At least from where I'm from.

I agree. It's not very common here.

[ThePeddler]

Most Asians I've met (Vietnamese ones mostly, largest Asian ethnicity in my area) have them.

Anyway, From Wikipedia:

In Asian ethnicities, the presence of an epicanthal fold is associated with the lack of an upper eyelid crease, commonly termed "single eyelids" as opposed to "double eyelids". The two features are distinct; a person may have both epicanthal fold and upper eyelid crease, one and not the other, or neither.

[ThePeddler]

Looking around randomly, I found this:

"viktimnaya" woman. The ideal of this woman - physically strong man, who resembles is super-exchange from the American fighters. It desires to undergo his force, to resist his strong pressure, to feel itself with victim. In the amorous games the preference is given to the different forms of the opposition, which kindle the passion of partner. In women of this type are now and then immanently inherent mazokhistskiye features. Pravda far from all of them return to itself in this report.

# "infantile" woman, or "woman- daughter". The ideal of this woman - this is the good and experienced, well fitted out to the life man, it is usually older it with respect to the age. In the presence of this man she feels itself by small girl, almost in entire dependent on it. In the amorous game the preference is given to psychological factor - heart-to-heart talk, arranging music, creation of conditions for the relaxation. Above in all it values condescension and concern.

3. "viktimnaya" woman. Skillfully it plays on its weakness, lack of defense or lack of organization, provoking thus aggressive man to the impulse and decisive actions. In the amorous games the greatest value for it have strong embraces and the force of the man body, being inferior to which it demonstrates its submissiveness to the will of man.

Thoughtful type men seem it by convenient, but too dull partners, and infantile it in the soul considers and completely 4493312 by weakwilled slabakami. With similar itself type men Viktimnaya woman it enters into the complex, with the undercurrent of relation, competing with them in the spirit of sacrifice and requiring for this special privileges. Frequently similar games literally harass both.

In this place I consider it necessary to mention that the psychoanalytical groups are examined without the special detailing; therefore separate thinner differences inside them disappear. In particular, among Viktimnykh T of types remains without the attention the fact that they usually are subdivided into "tragic victims" (YET and THOSE) and "comic victims" (TR and RT).

4. "infantile" woman. In the erotic life of a woman of this type the greatest value have thin kindness and psychologism of relations. It, having no special intentions, demonstrates by its behavior brittleness and children's naivete. Infantile woman easily assumes the matters and the enthusiasm of the partner, to whom she sympathizes with. In the amorous games she with the pleasure catches the initiative of thoughtful man, manifesting its own refinement and fantasy.

On it is super-exchange, i.e. aggressive type men, this woman, of course, focuses attention, but to converge with them fears because of their instinktivnosti and crudity. Viktimnogo type its type arrange only partial: romantically it begins, but then introduces into the bewilderment by its demonstration of sufferings and by unpredictability. However, with the men of the identical infantile type it will compulsorily feel discomfort from nedodostatka of the concern about its daily needs. In this pair the degree of alienation will slowly grow.

Infantile vs. Victim

from:
oldforumlinkviewtopic.php?t=10
and
http://socionics.us/works/gulenko_life_scenarios.shtml

[Creepy-bg]

ehhh somebody needs to clean up those translations... they make my brain hurt

[olduser]

Probably she meant "unibrow", I know an ESTp guy that has it and an ENFj defined it as "manly" even if it obviously looks like shit

let us all admire fdg capitalizing on the thread.

[FDG]

Probably she meant "unibrow", I know an ESTp guy that has it and an ENFj defined it as "manly" even if it obviously looks like shit

let us all admire fdg capitalizing on the thread.

the guy's not me, for the record...don't be paranoid about my intentions.

Anyway I don't really understand how a person can write such a phisically binding description. Probably more than half of the traits are linked to looks-related parameters.

[eunice]

Probably she meant "unibrow", I know an ESTp guy that has it and an ENFj defined it as "manly" even if it obviously looks like shit

let us all admire fdg capitalizing on the thread.

the guy's not me, for the record...don't be paranoid about my intentions.

Anyway I don't really understand how a person can write such a phisically binding description. Probably more than half of the traits are linked to looks-related parameters.

I think most people (especially guys) would have a list of traits which are mainly appearance-oriented.

[FDG]

Some, but not all. I mean, not only external.

[Creepy-bg]

I like a nice ass (but just a nice ass will only go so far... there does need to be some personality driving it)

[olduser]

I think most people (especially guys) would have a list of traits which are mainly appearance-oriented.

eh. I don't think i'd ever write something like this. Maybe if I were trying to construct a human female I'd keep a list of traits, but otherwise I'll just like what I like when I find someone. Which will be never, btb. I'm a freakin hermit!