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Thread: Liking the concept of your dual

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    Default Liking the concept of your dual

    Which of you like the concept of your specific dual?

    I'm not asking if you think you've liked, or are going to like, every individual of your dual's type -- of course the answer is no.

    I am asking if, when reading about your supposed dual type - either descriptions or what people here write about them - your reaction is like "wow I have the best of all duals!" or "that is my dual? Ugh" or something in between.

    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.

    Does anyone wish another type were their duals, or does anyone decide that duality can't work because the duals suck?
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    I'm intruiged and would like to know more about my dual.
    INTP/ILI(Ni) /5w4

    "When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done.
    Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed."

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    Default Re: Liking your dual as a concept?

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.
    it seems like it would be hard to not have that attitude.


    i'm not sure how i would respond to this question. i have never really been in any long-standing dual relationship so it's difficult for me to experientially evaluate duality.

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    Default Re: Liking your dual as a concept?

    I admit the first time I read the dual description, I didn't get it. I couldn't imagine how I would get along with an ISTP.

    An ENTP I knew, after reading the ISFP description, said it sounded like a boring type.

    I think maybe at first a lot of people think their duals are boring. And also, because your dual is so different from you, it can take a while to warm up to that.

    Now i really like ISTPs. Thinking back, I always did like that quiet mysterious thing, before I knew about personality stuff.

    I do think they're the best dual and I know a lot of other types like them too. I mean come on, James Dean, firefighters, probably cowboys, pilots, etc...


    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Which of you like the concept of your specific dual?

    I'm not asking if you think you've liked, or are going to like, every individual of your dual's type -- of course the answer is no.

    I am asking if, when reading about your supposed dual type - either descriptions or what people here write about them - your reaction is like "wow I have the best of all duals!" or "that is my dual? Ugh" or something in between.

    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.

    Does anyone wish another type were their duals, or does anyone decide that duality can't work because the duals suck?
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    ISFjs are not equipped to do this:
    Quote Originally Posted by Strati LII Fe
    It is connected very carefully to the mood of those surrounding. In the company of malosimpatichnykh to it people it is held bound and locked. Only falling into the situation of unconstrained merriment, sincere cordiality, sincere heat and cosiness, begin "to thaw", it weakens, is charged by overall mood, he becomes charming and interesting collocutor. It begins to literally sparkle by merriment, it smiles by the obayatel'neyshey, "solar" smile, thinly elegant it jokes, with the pleasure it entertains company by any amusing histories, which it usually is desirable to memorize and then still someone to retell.

    Being in the state of emotional lift, Robesp'er very rapidly conquers sympathies, with the ease he becomes the soul of company and is capable any evening to make unforgettable. External coldness and the severity Of robesp'era - this not is more than the shielding shell of its easily ranimoy soul. And best anything this understands precisely dual Of robesp'era - Hugo. The unapproachable restraint Of robesp'era not only excites the curiosity of Hugo (who frequently finds pleasure in overcoming of, it would seem, the insurmountable difficulties). It serves its kind as "touchstone" for the search of the psychologically compatible partner.

    In order to light these external "ices", is required the enormous sincere heat-, expressed in the emotional flow of the specific quality and nature. With the characteristic of it sincere flame and the energy of Hugo it storms this "unapproachable stronghold" so that entire robesp'erovskaya "coldness" is scattered as Hugo's smoke, although it does not hold in control itself in the manifestation of emotions, nevertheless makes this sufficiently tactfully (Robesp'er it does not allow violence above itself). Hugo manifests his emotions very aesthetically, is intelligent, with the taste, s. by a constant concern about feelings and about conveniences in its partner. Hugo - only of all types of "etikov-sensorikov", capable of emotionally acting on Robesp'era very optimally. Only in the society of Hugo Robesp'er feels itself by properly calm, protected. Only it can properly be weakened next to it.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Default Re: Liking your dual as a concept?

    Quote Originally Posted by niffweed17
    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.
    it seems like it would be hard to not have that attitude.
    Yes.

    Unless you have mistyped yourself.



    I find the concept slightly more attractive than the actual individuals. The ethical subtypes are often too anal-retentive, and the sensing subtypes too ditzy.

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    Concepts are devoid of tactile protuberant presence, though
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    My first impression after I read the dual description of INFj-ESTj: "what a boring family this two will have if they ever get married. It's like two boring individuals getting together and creating a more boring household"

    EDIT: the dual description makes both types look too traditional imo. The impression I have gotten: the ESTj goes out to work and the INFj takes up the role as a homemaker and watches daytime drama everyday. There's no conflict and both of them are happy doing their own duties and possibly the same thing everyday. I was hoping that there will be a little conflict to spice things up, or both types can do something fun and exciting and let go of their responsibilities occasionally.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Concepts are devoid of tactile protuberant presence, though
    Bah

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    my first reaction was, damned with her i need to go to 7 party's a week plus a couple of birthdays. that's to much for me...

    nowadays I still don't think i've got the best dual there is.

    ISFJ would be the best dual, I agree on that.



    so probably using your concept method, means we are looking at an objective manner at types. which is also what you were aiming at with this topic probably.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    My first impression after I read the dual description of INFj-ESTj: "what a boring family this two will have if they ever get married. It's like two boring individuals getting together and creating a more boring household"
    I actually thought the opposite of what you wrote. As the ESTJ person I figure the other person would be what I would need to not make me as boring. Don't get me wrong, I don't really think of myself as a boring person, more like a person that's not spontaneous at all.

    Like you pointed out, I do see how it makes the relationship look very traditional, especially the INFJ-ESTJ description compared to some other dual descritions I've read.

    As far as the topic is concerned, I thought it would be awesome to be with that type. :wink:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno
    my first reaction was, damned with her i need to go to 7 party's a week plus a couple of birthdays. that's to much for me...
    .
    Christ that would be awesome!
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Default Re: Liking your dual as a concept?

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I am asking if, when reading about your supposed dual type - either descriptions or what people here write about them - your reaction is like "wow I have the best of all duals!" or "that is my dual? Ugh" or something in between.

    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.
    I tend to think, "How can anyone, especially those poor unsocial and people-hating INTps, have ESFp as their dual?"
    Intuition

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    I don't hate people. I just don't feel like interacting with them.
    INTP/ILI(Ni) /5w4

    "When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done.
    Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed."

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    Who else would pursue them?
    Who else would be more of a challenge to win over? -and most rewarding at the same time.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I actually have thought of this before, because having ISTp as a dual, I wasn't completely surprised as I tagged them as one of the few S types I could see myself with, but it wasn't until recently that I actually found ymself attracted to an ISTp. Before hand, I've always been attracted to NT types and pretty much thought I would end up at least with another intuitive type. I think what makes me skeptical is that I feel like we have the magnetism but there's almost nothing in common between us. I would think that an INTp would have been a more fitting dual had I not really looked into the theory, because INTps and ISTps seem rather simliar to me but I connect a lot easier with INTps. At the same time, I noticed my parents are a dual relation of INTp and ESFp, and they have been married for over 20 years, and they constantly have this S-N difference problem that might have affected me since I've known about these type theories with Jung's functions since about middle school, and could have noticed it early on. So I was intrigued that my parents have a dual relation, but they don't have what seems to be the benefits of having one. I know this could be because of many factors, but it's what has worried about me dating an ISTp, as he shares the IxTP with my father and I share the ExFP with my mother, but the S-N difference is reversed. I can already tell that he will get along with my mother really well, and I'm probably the person my dad gets along with the best.
    ENFp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.
    That's exactly how I feel about ISTps.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    Default Re: Liking your dual as a concept?

    Quote Originally Posted by jas05
    I tend to think, "How can anyone, especially those poor unsocial and people-hating INTps, have ESFp as their dual?"
    haha, i maybe clumsy but i'm not unsocial or people hating. i just don't like it when groups are too large.

    but if i remember correctly INTP's are commonly described as nice companions... probably because of their easygoingness.

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    Default Re: Liking your dual as a concept?

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    "that is my dual? Ugh"
    That's what I thought when I thought I was ENTp. The duality description didn't sound at all attractive to me, either.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    My first impression after I read the dual description of INFj-ESTj: "what a boring family this two will have if they ever get married. It's like two boring individuals getting together and creating a more boring household"
    I actually thought the opposite of what you wrote. As the ESTJ person I figure the other person would be what I would need to not make me as boring. Don't get me wrong, I don't really think of myself as a boring person, more like a person that's not spontaneous at all.

    Like you pointed out, I do see how it makes the relationship look very traditional, especially the INFJ-ESTJ description compared to some other dual descritions I've read.
    I find "traditional" relationships rather appealing.
    EII

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    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    Default Re: Liking your dual as a concept?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno
    Quote Originally Posted by jas05
    I tend to think, "How can anyone, especially those poor unsocial and people-hating INTps, have ESFp as their dual?"
    haha, i maybe clumsy but i'm not unsocial or people hating. i just don't like it when groups are too large.

    but if i remember correctly INTP's are commonly described as nice companions... probably because of their easygoingness.
    Well I used a bit extreme wording but I had this kind of an IM conversation with an INTp lately:

    Me:
    There was a lot of people here. And now they left.
    INTp:
    And you think it is a bad thing that they left?
    Me:
    Yes.
    INTp:
    I just don't understand those social animals...

    Of course there was a bit of irony there, but it maybe describes something about INTps anyhow. And an ENFp I know described another INTp (at least according to MBTI test) she knows as "the most unsocial person she knows". But that's just an ENFp viewpoint. And the other INTp is one of her closest friends.
    Intuition

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.
    That's exactly how I feel about ISTps.
    It's exactly how I feel about ENFjs. I can imagine my dual bouncing emotions off the wall at home and to be in such a warm expressive environment, free of doubts, we'd be able to get through anything.
    ISTj.

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    My dual is a conundrum; I get both the "wow!" and the "ugh..." reaction (maybe that's just because the only ESFp I've met IRL cheated on me , tried to break everything off without telling me she cheated on me, then confessed to her wrong doings, and was "so great full" when I forgave her) .

    p.s. I'm drunk-posting, carry on.
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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    ISFjs are not equipped to do this:
    Quote Originally Posted by Strati LII Fe
    It is connected very carefully to the mood of those surrounding. In the company of malosimpatichnykh to it people it is held bound and locked. Only falling into the situation of unconstrained merriment, sincere cordiality, sincere heat and cosiness, begin "to thaw", it weakens, is charged by overall mood, he becomes charming and interesting collocutor. It begins to literally sparkle by merriment, it smiles by the obayatel'neyshey, "solar" smile, thinly elegant it jokes, with the pleasure it entertains company by any amusing histories, which it usually is desirable to memorize and then still someone to retell.

    Being in the state of emotional lift, Robesp'er very rapidly conquers sympathies, with the ease he becomes the soul of company and is capable any evening to make unforgettable. External coldness and the severity Of robesp'era - this not is more than the shielding shell of its easily ranimoy soul. And best anything this understands precisely dual Of robesp'era - Hugo. The unapproachable restraint Of robesp'era not only excites the curiosity of Hugo (who frequently finds pleasure in overcoming of, it would seem, the insurmountable difficulties). It serves its kind as "touchstone" for the search of the psychologically compatible partner.

    In order to light these external "ices", is required the enormous sincere heat-, expressed in the emotional flow of the specific quality and nature. With the characteristic of it sincere flame and the energy of Hugo it storms this "unapproachable stronghold" so that entire robesp'erovskaya "coldness" is scattered as Hugo's smoke, although it does not hold in control itself in the manifestation of emotions, nevertheless makes this sufficiently tactfully (Robesp'er it does not allow violence above itself). Hugo manifests his emotions very aesthetically, is intelligent, with the taste, s. by a constant concern about feelings and about conveniences in its partner. Hugo - only of all types of "etikov-sensorikov", capable of emotionally acting on Robesp'era very optimally. Only in the society of Hugo Robesp'er feels itself by properly calm, protected. Only it can properly be weakened next to it.
    Hi first time poster, I've been lurking and reading everything about Socionics / MBTI for the last couple weeks (if you have to guess I'm IN(T)J) normally I wouldn't register, but I was pissed off enough on not being able to find the article for the quoted text that I actually registered to ask (even after reading through a lot of the topics on the board, and google isn't my friend)

    If someone could post a link to the ESE-LII duality I'd really appreciate it, thanks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    @ aut0: oldforumlinkviewtopic.php?t=11214 for the duality description by meged

    the description from which UDP got the quote is here: oldforumlinkviewtopic.php?t=8966

    and the Filatova descrip. of INTj is here: oldforumlinkviewtopic.php?t=9968
    Thanks, I look at that thread and didn't bother to read through it all since I figured the quoted text would have it's own thread.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.
    That's exactly how I feel about ISTps.
    It's exactly how I feel about ENFjs. I can imagine my dual bouncing emotions off the wall at home and to be in such a warm expressive environment, free of doubts, we'd be able to get through anything.

    well i feel perfectly about being dual of ISTJ too, and know and feel that with such person i can make long long way
    Ni Creative

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    1.: ability to win with sword in your hand.
    2.: ability to win without sword in your hand, but in your soul.
    3, and the hightest one: without having sword nor in hand not in soul be able to win and bring peace to people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TangoxOfxSin
    I actually have thought of this before, because having ISTp as a dual, I wasn't completely surprised as I tagged them as one of the few S types I could see myself with, but it wasn't until recently that I actually found ymself attracted to an ISTp. Before hand, I've always been attracted to NT types and pretty much thought I would end up at least with another intuitive type. I think what makes me skeptical is that I feel like we have the magnetism but there's almost nothing in common between us. I would think that an INTp would have been a more fitting dual had I not really looked into the theory, because INTps and ISTps seem rather simliar to me but I connect a lot easier with INTps. At the same time, I noticed my parents are a dual relation of INTp and ESFp, and they have been married for over 20 years, and they constantly have this S-N difference problem that might have affected me since I've known about these type theories with Jung's functions since about middle school, and could have noticed it early on. So I was intrigued that my parents have a dual relation, but they don't have what seems to be the benefits of having one. I know this could be because of many factors, but it's what has worried about me dating an ISTp, as he shares the IxTP with my father and I share the ExFP with my mother, but the S-N difference is reversed. I can already tell that he will get along with my mother really well, and I'm probably the person my dad gets along with the best.
    What is often thought about as being S/N difference is in many instances a noncoincidence of interests. There are plenty of intellectual STs, ISTps-Te too many of them are very interested in chemisty, mathematics, economics, politics.

    What you're seeing here is the negativist positivist dichotomy. No matter how good a relationship is a negativist will always be slightly pissed by a positivist, and the opposite applies too.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I have mixed feelings about this. If someone had given the ISTp description to me before meeting my husband and said, "This is the perfect type for you!" I think I wouldn't have believed it. I tended to be attracted to guys who were more social and who were more assertive or aggressive or something. I wasn't aware that being around someone so laid-back would be as calming as it is.

    On the other hand, I remember telling someone once upon a time that the perfect guy for me would be able to fix things because I hate it when things aren't working and I don't like to have to deal with that myself.

    So maybe some things about ISTps would have appealed to me and some wouldn't have.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    I have mixed feelings about this. If someone had given the ISTp description to me before meeting my husband and said, "This is the perfect type for you!" I think I wouldn't have believed it. I tended to be attracted to guys who were more social and who were more assertive or aggressive or something. I wasn't aware that being around someone so laid-back would be as calming as it is.

    On the other hand, I remember telling someone once upon a time that the perfect guy for me would be able to fix things because I hate it when things aren't working and I don't like to have to deal with that myself.

    So maybe some things about ISTps would have appealed to me and some wouldn't have.
    yes. i think duality is best experienced rather than being intellectually understood. if you can find your dual that is.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sorc
    Quote Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I tend to think that my type has the best dual possible, like, "how can anyone not want ISFj as a dual?" but I wonder how others see it.
    That's exactly how I feel about ISTps.
    It's exactly how I feel about ENFjs. I can imagine my dual bouncing emotions off the wall at home and to be in such a warm expressive environment, free of doubts, we'd be able to get through anything.

    well i feel perfectly about being dual of ISTJ too, and know and feel that with such person i can make long long way
    It is amazingly clear to me why someone would not benefit from having an ESFj as a dual -- like an ESFj and an ENFj couple. So I do not realistically feel like everyone should have an ESE dual.

    I could see myself managing a relationship with any of the FJs. My small experience with duality makes me wonder about the weakness that it presents. ...However, if an ESE who is healthy in both body and mindset comes across me and wants to be in a relationship with me, it could very likely happen.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    yes. i think duality is best experienced rather than being intellectually understood. if you can find your dual that is.
    Agreed. I doubt I would have thought much of the ESFp profile had I read it before knowing about any of the duality stuff. In a way, I think it was necessary for me to know about the duality concept first, or else I might not have realised just how much I do appreciate ESFps. If that makes any sense to anybody.

    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    My small experience with duality makes me wonder about the weakness that it presents.
    What would that be exactly?
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    I disliked the feeling of neediness it presented me with in the past. How I would react now, I am not certain.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    I disliked the feeling of neediness it presented me with in the past. How I would react now, I am not certain.
    I don't understand why people fear their weaknesses, really. You felt needy because you liked her a lot, of course. I don't see why somebody should dislike something about himself.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    I disliked the feeling of neediness it presented me with in the past. How I would react now, I am not certain.
    I don't understand why people fear their weaknesses, really. You felt needy because you liked her a lot, of course. I don't see why somebody should dislike something about himself.
    Yeah! There's nothing wrong with having weaknesses. We all have strengths too - focus on your strengths and stop worrying so much about your weaknesses, UDP.
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    I always convinced myself I was attracted to the 'bad guys' but after having been in relationships with them, I'm certain I would never find anything in them and they will never find anything in me. We're too similar. I never really thought I would be attracted to an ENFP male. But I do believe I had briefly met one and and I felt the most comfortable around him than anyone I had previously met. Unfortunatly it was a brief meeting and I haven't seen him since, but I always think about the sense of comfort I felt and how I could be 100% myself and it was okay and how interested he seemed in me..something I never feel. When I think about which type I would be most comfortable with and most interested in, yes, ENFP without a doubt. I just wish their were more of them...or maybe I have to open my eyes more.

    I don't know if we just want to see something in our supposed 'dual' or not, but for me, i think they're the only ones would could really tolerate me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    I disliked the feeling of neediness it presented me with in the past. How I would react now, I am not certain.
    I don't understand why people fear their weaknesses, really. You felt needy because you liked her a lot, of course. I don't see why somebody should dislike something about himself.
    I think this has to do with needing to feel competent and respected. Being barraged by an ISFp or ESFj who always wants to "baby" you can make you feel incompetent. But, the ESFj does give the INTj what he or she needs. you can do that without making them feel not respected. or something.

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    Well that's the only thing I do like my dual...the fact that he'd be a caretaker. I already know I'm "infantile" and I've learned from experience that it's not so satisfying having to be the one running after and taking care of everyone. I'm not attracted in any way to my dual...I'm more attracted to unusual, deep people, and I've haven't met an ESTj that fits that description. But that's probably because most of the ESTjs I've met are older and really set and comfortable in their ways. They display no vulnerability, and I'm attracted to the combination of hidden strength with vulnerability. I can't intellectually see why my dual would need me though...ESTjs act confident and put their strengths on display for all. I actually am not attracted to my dual concept because...they seem perfectly fine without me. I don't see what ESTjs need INFjs for. I swear I don't have low self-esteem, I just don't see what I'd bring to the relationship. I've read the descriptions but it's hard for me to make out the mangled English. I can see why I'd be comfortable and happy with ESTjs, but not vice versa. My talent has always been making other people feel loved, feel understood and helping them to appreciate the strengths they already have. I can bring joy to people and champion them. That's my gift in this world, my only one. ESTjs don't look like they need that.
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    ESTjs mostly just need something to work for. Their efforts to be valued, because they put a lot of effort. They put it even if nobody values it, generally. And they end up bitter. The INFj values the effort, and the ESTj is happy of exterting the effort, just because there's a reason for it, somebody to take care of.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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