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Thread: EIEs/ENFjs experience with depression

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    Default EIEs/ENFjs experience with depression

    So lately I've been in this really depressed mood...I get very defensive and I start fighting with my friends easily...I realized that I get really bitchy without really meaning it and I've been able to stop it however I haven't been able to get rid of this really bad mood...I also keep to myself when I'm in this bad mood and I'm not usually my perky cheery self and it bothers because I'm like an open book...Is this an ENFj trait?
    ENFj Ni subtype 3w4
    "And once you lose your way you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely"
    formerly onetreehilluver

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    Kristiina's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to say so, but yes. I have found no cure. The depression is cyclic. I just try not to ruin my life during the depression phases so I can enjoy my life when I don't have depression. For this reason I avoid people during depression - I'm afraid or ruining my relations with them.

    Although there is probably no cure, I have found remedies to make it less severe. I try to keep busy. I get depressed 4 days after I finish something important. When I was doing the important thing, I postponed other responsibilities and 4 days after I finish, it all sinks in. I have to start doing those little things immediately (48 hours) after I finish with the big thing.

    After I started living with the INTp, the depression has been only about a quarter of what it used to be and often the cycle just skips the depression (or it lasts only a few days).

    There is one thread that might be interesting for you to read, because I started it during one of those depression phases.
    http://the16types.no-ip.info/forums/...pic.php?t=5948
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
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    thanx for the reply...it sucks to hear that its a repetitive cycle...i guess this will pass like the many other times...i'll try to keep myself busy...
    ENFj Ni subtype 3w4
    "And once you lose your way you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely"
    formerly onetreehilluver

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    Go ahead and bitch here. Talking about problems in an expressive way helps you deal with things and it's healthy to let it out. One of the worst things is to sit at home all miserable and not wanting to tell anyone because it would ruin their mood. It really is bad to ruin a friends' mood like that, but it's even worse to be all alone with your problems. If you bitch about things here, some people will read it, but no one is obliged to read so it won't be that bad. I will read if I you post before I go to London. (London, yay! )
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

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    Default Re: ENFj's and depression

    Quote Originally Posted by onetreehilluver
    So lately I've been in this really depressed mood...I get very defensive and I start fighting with my friends easily...I realized that I get really bitchy without really meaning it and I've been able to stop it however I haven't been able to get rid of this really bad mood...I also keep to myself when I'm in this bad mood and I'm not usually my perky cheery self and it bothers because I'm like an open book...Is this an ENFj trait?
    There is suffering
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    haha thanx for the offer but i've been slowly healing...if there is anything i'll let u know
    ENFj Ni subtype 3w4
    "And once you lose your way you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely"
    formerly onetreehilluver

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    Kristiina's Avatar
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    ok. If you change your mind, just remember that some of your thoughts might be type-related, which makes it relevant for the forum - studying ENFj kind of depression. I'll be going to London tomorrow (the16types meeting, the global thread) so it will take a few days until I reply, but you can write here when you want.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
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    I just ended this new relationship I was in for many reasons mainly due to trust issues and the fact that I can't let myself like anyone ever since I broke up with my first boyfriend(estp)...I also know what qualities I want in a guy and i'm looking for duality....I just wish that I could let myself like someone without being so emotionally reserved...Another thing I'm dealing with is that i feel that no one truly understands even though I have a really close circle of friends(INFp male and female, ISFp)...
    ENFj Ni subtype 3w4
    "And once you lose your way you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely"
    formerly onetreehilluver

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    Kristiina's Avatar
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    You're quite young, right? (less than 25). You still have time to forget about the ESTp and find your dual. If you had stayed together with your first boyfriend, you would have ended up being miserable, because you would have become curious about other guys. Everything could have ended so much worse. When you meet the right person, being emotionally reserved will no longer be an issue. And I'm not talking about some impossible-to-find soul mate. I think you just need someone who is stable enough for you to feel safe with. ISTj would do.

    I've been in a similar situation. The problem solved amazingly easily without much intervention. I just met the INTp. "Don't over-analyze the relationship. It's fun, so let's just stay together as long as it's fun.". We officially started dating about a month after moving together. That was all that I needed and it's so little. The odds are totally in your favor. It's just a matter of time until you meet your man. If you want your dual, you should just work towards recognizing ISTjs. Even I don't recognize half the ISTjs. And you need a Se-subtype ISTj, who has weaker type traits. He's almost similar to ESTps, but still has the IJ behavior. He can be quite reckless when he is young - party and booze - but later he settles down... It's all theoretical. I've yet to identify a dual with the compatible subtype.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
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    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
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    haha yeah im almost 18...ur right everything will fall into place...thanx for the advice
    ENFj Ni subtype 3w4
    "And once you lose your way you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely"
    formerly onetreehilluver

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    I also keep to myself when I'm in this bad mood and I'm not usually my perky cheery self and it bothers because I'm like an open book...Is this an ENFj trait?
    I also generally keep to myself in such moods, but I can't help being perky or cheery when I talk to my friends. They don't even take me serious when I tell them I'm depressed, because I always talk about unfortunate mishaps with a huge cheesing smile on my face...

    Me: "Dude, I have been totally depressed lately."

    Friend: " Shut the fuck up!"

    Me: "No, really! You won't believe what just happened..."

    I don't stay depressed for very long though. A positive friend to talk to, a spring cleaning session or paycheck always brings the sunshine instantly back!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hidden Agendas
    I also keep to myself when I'm in this bad mood and I'm not usually my perky cheery self and it bothers because I'm like an open book...Is this an ENFj trait?
    I also generally keep to myself in such moods, but I can't help being perky or cheery when I talk to my friends. They don't even take me serious when I tell them I'm depressed, because I always talk about unfortunate mishaps with a huge cheesing smile on my face...

    Me: "Dude, I have been totally depressed lately."

    Friend: " Shut the fuck up!"

    Me: "No, really! You won't believe what just happened..."

    I don't stay depressed for very long though. A positive friend to talk to, a spring cleaning session or paycheck always brings the sunshine instantly back!
    ESFj?
    A girl who could be ESFj (alpha extrovert for sure) was telling me how she can never be serious. Even the sad mood is expressed through happy external emotions. I don't have that problem. I'm either happy or sad, but even that is all or nothing. I'm either glowing with sheer love for the world or I look like a miserable depressed and lonely person.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
    New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/

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    I don't have that problem. I'm either happy or sad, but even that is all or nothing. I'm either glowing with sheer love for the world or I look like a miserable depressed and lonely person.
    A problem? Why consider it a problem? It is actually an ability I have acquired through realization of a problem.

    In my late teens I became very depressed and gloomy, because of this and that and some other small things I felt like a complete failure, I was so embarrassed and growing up in a delta home with an ISTp father and INFj mother... you can imagine the sympathy I received(I do love them for that). So I became rebellious, hated everybody, emo kid, the whole 9. Always talking about depressing things to my friends, bringing others down, made me even more depressed, and then I realized and asked myself, “Who wants to be around you? Would I want to be around you? Do you want your friends to just feel sympathy for you? Etc.” That was pathetic. I was even more embarrassed at what I had became, so that was the end of it. I don't ever want to be like that again. I don't care what it is, it won't matter and it can't happen. I've had way worse and it felt good to laugh about it.

    This is not to say that I am impervious to depression when alone. I am much more capable of easily letting it go, and when I'm in the presence of a friend, relative or whoever, it's gone, because I know it's a small mundane thing, a blink of an eye, and when you laugh it over it is very easy to see that. Plus the key bonus here is that no misery finds company.

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