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Thread: SLE-IEE Superego Relations (ESTp and ENFp)

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    Default SLE-IEE Superego Relations (ESTp and ENFp)

    I'm very curious about this. And what FDG would say. Also. What do others observe about this. Those who know ESTps and ENFps
    INTp
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    I was in a class with an ESTp (male) and an ENFp (female). He mostly made fun of her, and then she would tell him that he was being mean, and he would ignore her, and continue to make fun of her. She was extremely tolerant of him (this is one seriously obnoxious ESTp), even laughing at some of his jokes/insults, and it almost seemed like flirting, in a way. Love-hate relationship.

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    Really?
    I dunno. Cuz the relationships I have with ESTps are kinda different.
    They are totally clueless about me, and I'm totally clueless about them. Even if we're close friends.
    I have an ESTp friend, who's really close to me. And I got caught by surprise a few days ago when he told me he was interested in me. When he said that, he didnt sound serious imo. And knowing him for so long, I didnt think he was. Little did I know he was. Anyway, he was puzzled as to why I felt he sounded like he wasn't serious. And I was shocked that he was actually serious! Eh, I dunno.
    And he also said something about me being a challenge or something. Dunno if he meant that. That's why I started this thread.
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    Come to think of it, I know a much less annoying ESTp sports coach who had a similar relationship with an ENFp in the class. She would come to class late, be generally scatter-brained. In response the ESTp would make her do suicides.

    And he also said something about me being a challenge or something.
    That sounds like Super-Ego relations.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Really?
    I dunno. Cuz the relationships I have with ESTps are kinda different.
    They are totally clueless about me, and I'm totally clueless about them. Even if we're close friends.

    I have an ESTp friend, who's really close to me. And I got caught by surprise a few days ago when he told me he was interested in me. When he said that, he didnt sound serious imo. And knowing him for so long, I didnt think he was. Little did I know he was. Anyway, he was puzzled as to why I felt he sounded like he wasn't serious. And I was shocked that he was actually serious! Eh, I dunno.
    What do you mean? I'm trying to imagine what this relationship might look like to an observer.

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    There are various kinds of ENFps.

    The easygoing-female type. Get along with them very well. Easy to understand each other, or so it seems. Never developed romantic feelings though for any of them because I know we have a very different lifestyle. Very good as friends though, they invite me at parties and I teach them maths. They might be ENFj but I don't think so.

    The partygoer sexy dresser female type. Very strong initial attraction followed by quarrels and repulsion.

    Bitchy ugly funny moody girl. Strange pattern, they are critical but they laugh a lot. Distance is usually kept but relations are favourable.

    Moody critical male funny type. Most unstable relation. I do not allow any male to criticize me so I easy get very angry at them even when they are just joking. Although when they don't criticize me we often look like best friends from the outside - and it's true that we get along great. They just have to pay attention not to set me off.

    What Mea is describing is just a guy hitting on her
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Yes, but no one has ever done it the way he does. In a very ESTp way. That's how I'd describe it since I read about socionics. But it's kinda complicated. I don't really understand what he's thinking sometimes. Totally fun to be with though, and very interesting to listen to.

    He does not initiate arguments or conflicts of any kind. But when someone pushes him the wrong way, he naturally reacts in an aggressive way. That's my impression of him. And he's totally at ease with this kinda "power" he wields.
    He's constantly talking about how easy it is for him to get girls. And it IS easy for him. He has no problem playing them even. No guilt, no problem for him. It's almost natural for him. It's amazing just looking at him do his "thing". At clubs or anywhere.
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    Why would you want to understand what another person is thinking

    Anyway, I don't feel like I can answer because I'm not as good as your friend with girls. I don't see the point of playing too much with them, it's fatiguing. Although I love to dance with them, I prefer to go out/date only once at time.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    In my experience, ESTp see and treat ENFp like if they were INFp. They see them as quite impractical and try to push them "to correct it". INFp accept the help (I've known some who are very self critical "why I am so weak, I must be strong" and things like that) but ENFp generally look at it from a negative perspective. Difference is that INFp think there is something wrong with them and in need for help and ENFp think they are just fine.

    Coming from a family of intuitives (INTj father, ENFj mother, ENTp sister, etc), sensing was never a strong focus in my education and as a result I'm very impractical when it comes to dressing and such. And we ENFp can do some funny stuff. I remember a situation where I went to the school with the pants inverted. Hahaha. I don't like criticism but I admit that it was a very funny thing.

    There are many kinds of ESTp. I had a good friend who wasn't aggressive, he even looked friendly. However, we were very different and didn't really had much in common.

    Others are unhealthy, specially those coming from dysfunctional families. I consider those to be very, very low on self-esteem and are the most dangerous, because they take everything personally. I remember that I was playing with one once and I made a joke that he didn't like and give me a punch without further warning. That's where my war against what now realize were unhealthy ESTp began.

    They pressed my soft spots, but I never realized that I pressed theirs too. For example, when they tried to make fun out of me when my mom used to pack lots of food in my backpack, I simply replied "so you're essentially telling me that they doesn't love you in your house...". And it was true. I heard that some of them were always on the streets because they didn't want to go home because their father was alcoholic and liked to hit everyone in sight. Dramatic stuff, you know, but ESTp liked to release their sadness in improper ways.
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    it's not improper to an ESTp...

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    My best friend is ENFp...
    I would describe her as very simple-minded. Unworldy, and sometimes a little slow. She's too kind hearted, and lets certain people walk over her (generally the one she really cares about...even tho she doesnt realize that they're taking advantage of her sometimes) and sometimes she wont stand for much...though she's not very good at getting her point across. She seems very flirty all the time, though she doesnt mean it ina flirtatius way, she doesn't realize it. It's just that she's too good-natured, and doesnt precive the world for what it really is. Sometimes I think she may be delusional. She frustrates me a lot, and sometimes I feel like I mother her. And, as tho I have to explain to her the ways of the world sometimes so she understands that it's not all a fairy-tale life. She seems to think so most of the time.
    Regardless of this, I consider her my best friend because she still has a big heart and is a kind person. Which I wouldnt say about a lot of people. I can say I can trust her 100% and thats the biggest thing for me when it comes to relationships. I find that we always have fun no matter what we're doing or what we're not. We can have converstaion after conversation and never get tired of each other. Sometimes we'll carry on two conversations at the same time and still manage to understand each other. Generally, I feel like I have to protect her. Sometime's Ill yell at her for something that she messes up but no matter how bad it is...I generally feel like an asshole and cant stay mad at her for long, thinking that she's just not fully developed menatlly. Almost as tho she's still adolescent.

    Male ENFps...frustrate the hell out of me. I can't stand their happy-go-lucky nature all the time. It's annoying, and they have a very bohemian way about them, that sorta gets to me because I find it somewhat lacks a certain amount of professionalism. Ive had two experiences with two ENFp males...innitially I was attracted to them because of their appearance (mostly their smiles) but after spending too much time with them I wanted to rip out my hair. I just dont think they have a very take charge approach to life and I can't really stand that most of the time.


    So....in general ENFp's frustrate me...but I still manage to get along with them...mostly females tho. (im female ESTp)
    I would never consider getting into a relationship with an ENFp male. I thought at one point I was ISTp...and every time I met and ENFp male I would get excited because of the duality factor...only to be like WTF at the end of the day. Thinking "there's NOO way this could be duality" and I would try to convince myself that it was true, it would just take time. But no...me and ENFp male...no way hose!
    Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.

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    Default ENFp in need of advice about ESTp superego

    Hey everybody,
    Last edited by forgetmenot; 03-02-2009 at 03:03 PM.

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    In a nutshell, a good relationship shouldn't fuck with your head so much. I'd leave it alone.
    IEE

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    If you are a goodlooking girl:

    Please find a better suited mate.

    If you are ugly:

    Cling onto him.

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    I already responded in the other thread, but after reading this, I have something to add: based on that -sort of- stream of consciousness that you have penned down, I don't think you are IEE, but more likely IEI. Which means that guy would be your dual.
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    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    I don't think I am INFp. But I get on perfectly with Alpha Quadra though I am Delta. ESTjs are too agressive for me but one of my best friends is ESTj. I've heard also suggestions that I am ISFp, ENFj, I've considered ESFj. I believe I am more caregiving than infantile.
    I believe I am extroverted cause I like introverted people. My best friends are ENTp and ISFj. The best of the best
    bad reason. I prefer introverted people and I'm an introvert. but I don't know you so I will make no judgments.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Maybe . You know socionics is true but it's only a theory. And you can learn how to deal with people. I mean from my point of view it's true and I agree with many things but life is life... It's not socionics

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    In a nutshell, a good relationship shouldn't fuck with your head so much. I'd leave it alone.
    That is actually amazing advice imho. The last girl i was into fucked with my head pretty hard and that should have been a big enough sign.

    Its not something we can really give advice to you on very easily. Put it this way, if hes ESTp and you are ENFp forget about it, its not going to work. The only problem is that you could have your type wrong, or his type.

    If you really cant get him out of your mind and you really want him, maybe go for him hard, but if he rejects you its time to leave for good.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    This whole thing is eerily close to one of my relationships. Why even go there if he has a girlfriend? If he wanted to be with you and only you, he'd cut that off... plain and simple. You gotta put yourself first and step back and realistically look at the situation. That's quite a long time to put up with this. If he loves you and you love him, cool...great...awesome...but to put it bluntly, tell him to sh*t or get off the pot.

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    Eh, i'm no relationship expert but i'd ask him about the sex thing.

    If you can be bothered you could maybe start a type thread and hang around for a while. I don't think you sound ENFp but while you're here you may as well find out what others say about your type in a typing thread. I don't think an ENFp would hang around for so long with this guy like you have or are doing for a few years. It sounds to me like you are romanticising the interest in him rather than the reality which seems more like an INFp or some other type.

    If you find yourself being another socionics type then it might help you find a partner and/or help to understand yourself better.
    Last edited by Cyclops; 01-26-2009 at 11:25 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    Hey everybody,
    I am back here to your socion community begging for some kind of good advice.
    I am in a weird relationship with my ESTp ex boyfriend (a relationship that barely exists).
    ....
    I really don't know what to think and what to do, please help...
    Sorry for being chaotic
    Move on with your life and get out of this situation.

    The relationship barely exists, according to you. You deserve, and everyone deserves a full, real relationship. A healthy relationship. Don't cut yourself short, and don't waste time.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    Move on with your life and get out of this situation.

    The relationship barely exists, according to you. You deserve, and everyone deserves a full, real relationship. A healthy relationship. Don't cut yourself short, and don't waste time.
    Yes. I'm so glad I learned this myself.

    And why haven't you two had sex? Maybe that's too personal. I dunno. It's just a little strange to me if you've known him that long and considered yourself so in love. Maybe it's none of my business.

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    follow your heart.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    I don't think an ENFp would hang around for so long with this guy like you have or are doing for a few years
    I do agree. No one is worth pining after for years of your life if you cant have them.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    I do agree. No one is worth pining after for years of your life if you cant have them.
    On the other hand, you don't want to look back years later with regrets. Things can be complicated.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    Anyway, I'll see how it goes. I know we are incompatible but I was in a 4 year relationship with INTj and I thought we would marry. It's actually true I never met anybody like this ESTp. I mean maybe we do not understand each other so well and maybe it's due to the lack of time we spend time together.
    If he wants it, I will try and go for it I think. There's nothing to lose... It's better to try it now and lose it than regret it for the rest of our lives. Maybe we'll get bored with each other or something but finally it will finish. We started to talk after so many years and it really was very very weird for both of us that we feel the same thing.
    that doesn't seem weird to me

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    On the other hand, you don't want to look back years later with regrets. Things can be complicated.
    In my mind things shouldn't be that complicated. You tell someone you like them and they either choose you or fail, but thats really my idealism. In reality you are right things can be complicated, and it often takes quite a while for someone to realise they like you.

    Still though, wasting too long pining i would regret pretty hard
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    In my mind things shouldn't be that complicated. You tell someone you like them and they either choose you or fail, but thats really my idealism. In reality you are right things can be complicated, and it often takes quite a while for someone to realise they like you.

    Still though, wasting too long pining i would regret pretty hard
    Sometimes it's the only way.

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    forgetmenot, sounds like love.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    I'm not idealizing this, I think that maybe we both were in bad relationships? I mean bad in a way that we weren't really in love.
    I don't know really. I am just afraid of this that he will split up with his girlfriend and our relationship will not work. 5 years is a lot of time... I mean how can you leave somebody who loves you and is good for you for someone you barely know and somehow do not understand?
    love can push people to take risks that they normally wouldn't.

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    this sounds kinda rough. And risky. He's SLE so he'll make SOME decision at least. Be glad he's not SEI or you could be waiting for-e-ver. At least you'll have an answer soon.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Yes that's right but is it love? And does something like that really exist? Do you believe in that guys? Throught all these years I really believed that the most important thing is that people know each other, are togerher in everyday life and I thought that the longer people are together the stronger it is. And now when I looked at my relationship with this ESTp guy... We do not fully understand each other but we are like in love with each other... at the same time not believing in that.
    And I know and he knows that it was really wrong that we kissed but at the same time it was something that was so deep in both of us. How is it possible I'll never understand. Is it an illusion or something? Anyway, if what he says is true, that he was deleting my number so many times, that he wanted to write a letter to me and so on... First of all he should tell his girlfriend that it's the end because it sound like it's not fair with her. Being with one person thinking about somebody else.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    Yes that's right but is it love? And does something like that really exist? Do you believe in that guys? Throught all these years I really believed that the most important thing is that people know each other, are togerher in everyday life and I thought that the longer people are together the stronger it is. And now when I looked at my relationship with this ESTp guy... We do not fully understand each other but we are like in love with each other... at the same time not believing in that.
    And I know and he knows that it was really wrong that we kissed but at the same time it was something that was so deep in both of us. How is it possible I'll never understand. Is it an illusion or something? Anyway, if what he says is true, that he was deleting my number so many times, that he wanted to write a letter to me and so on... First of all he should tell his girlfriend that it's the end because it sound like it's not fair with her. Being with one person thinking about somebody else.
    Love doesn't exist. Ask any lover.

    Go with your feelings.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    Yes that's right but is it love? And does something like that really exist? Do you believe in that guys? Throught all these years I really believed that the most important thing is that people know each other, are togerher in everyday life and I thought that the longer people are together the stronger it is. And now when I looked at my relationship with this ESTp guy... We do not fully understand each other but we are like in love with each other... at the same time not believing in that.
    And I know and he knows that it was really wrong that we kissed but at the same time it was something that was so deep in both of us. How is it possible I'll never understand. Is it an illusion or something? Anyway, if what he says is true, that he was deleting my number so many times, that he wanted to write a letter to me and so on... First of all he should tell his girlfriend that it's the end because it sound like it's not fair with her. Being with one person thinking about somebody else.
    hmmm. it's good that he's telling his girlfriend first, yes. You know, it may be worth exploring this relationship if you've been on each other's minds for so long on and off. Because chances are, that will continue. You'll always wonder what could have been. (believe me) Best to figure that out now before you're married to other people. Give it a go, if he's willing. sometimes the timing is just wrong. So maybe this time it will be right.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Yes, I'll have an answer soon. If he doesn't leave her I am not going to have any affair with him. Just take it easy. I got used to the fact I feel something throughout all these years and to the fact that he has a girlfriend so I just cherished the moment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    Yes, I'll have an answer soon. If he doesn't leave her I am not going to have any affair with him. Just take it easy. I got used to the fact I feel something throughout all these years and to the fact that he has a girlfriend so I just cherished the moment.
    yep, it's up to him now. and you can live with whatever he decides. At least if he walks away, it's not your doing. he'll have to live with that decision for the rest of his life.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Well said. But assuming he's ESTp and his girlfriend is INFp and I am ENFp. Doesn't it all sound like a joke?

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    Well said. But assuming he's ESTp and his girlfriend is INFp and I am ENFp. Doesn't it all sound like a joke?
    why do you want to assume his girlfriend is more right for him than you are.

    sometimes i notice when girs talk about their boyfriend, it sounds like they're more interested in you than their boyfriend, but just wanted to "bring it up", whereas other times it's like you can tell that they're "attached".

    i don't know how guys read so well. but like sometimes guys i've known in bad relationships with girlfriends have talked about their girlfriend as if it's like some part of their car that keeps going wrong, and is really expensive to fix, and you're wondering if you should just get a new car ..

    try to keep things in perspective. how does he speak about his girlfriend?

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    What's your type mercutio?

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    I don't think I am INFp.... I believe I am more caregiving than infantile.
    ENFp's are infantiles, not caregivers.
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by forgetmenot View Post
    What's your type mercutio?
    people say i'm estp.

    hey, i was just thinking, guys i know .. i don't know of any that really seem to talk that positively about their girlfriends...

    the best i got was one guy saying he was lucky, and that he couldn't do any better. but like in contrast to he's talked about previous girls that's actually quite positive coming from him.

    one time, we were at a bar together, and he was saying that, and this girl hounded him for it. i know it sounds bad myself, he just didn't seem to understand what he was doing wrong ...

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