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Thread: INFP or ISFP or something else?

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    Default INFP or ISFP or something else?

    I'm new, I've been reading these boards for a few weeks now, I've taken the tests and read the type descriptions and I think probably the one that comes closest to me is INFP but I'm willing to be wrong. My dad is very very clearly an ISFP and although I really do relate well to my dad, I'm probably not identical although there are some things I resonate with. Here's what I'm like:

    I'm very quiet until I know someone. I tend to walk around in my own world and could care less about who's friends with whom or what's going on politically or socially unless it affects me directly. In high school and college people thought I was snobby or else didn't even notice me. I definitely need time by myself to recharge. Parties can be fun if the right people are there ("right people" meaning one or two of my closest friends with whom I can become extremely animated and energized or interesting males to flirt with--I know that sounds bad, I'm married but I enjoy harmless flirting occasionally), otherwise parties drain me and I need to leave by 10:00 to make sure I get my sleep. I'm in my mid-30s with three younger kids so that's part of the sleep need but I have always needed my sleep even when I was younger, I get very crabby if I don't have 8 hours.

    I don't usually seek out friendships--they seem to find me, but the good ones are rare. Friendships usually progress slowly but a few years ago (and again last year) I met someone I knew I clicked with immediately and the friendships really took off. With those, I tend to invest a lot of emotional energy and hopes into the relationship. To an annoying degree sometimes. What I mean is that I don't always like how strongly I feel about the really special friends because it makes me feel scared that something is going to happen to make the friendship end (she'll move away or he'll pull away for no apparent reason) and those sorts of friendships are so rare and valuable to me. Yet I find it impossible to control how I feel about someone when it's a strong attraction like that. If I'm going through a crisis or pressing question, I can be too focused on myself. But during those times I can't seem to think about anything other than my pressing emotional stuff (which annoys me and I wish I were different). But I also truly enjoy listening to other people tell stories and relate who they are, I do consider myself a good listener and a good friend.

    Sometimes when I'm happy and/or excited, my speaking voice gets loud, too loud and it's hard for me to control it--to bring it down a notch, although I try once I realize how loud I am. I daydream ALL the time. I have a problem with inertia, finding the motivation to do things, even things I know I should do and really WANT to do such as get up and take a walk when the weather is nice. Even though I enjoy it when I'm actually doing it, I find it hard to get up and DO it. I live inside of my head far too much. I conjur up potential conversations with friends or family, imagining how things might go if this or that scenario came to pass. Some of which is utterly unrealistic. It's like there's always a drama going on in my mind. If I find myself doing this at bedtime, I sometimes get myself emotionally worked up (all on the inside, mind you, no one else knows what I'm thinking about) and can't fall asleep. Even though I love books and reading, I sometimes find it hard to focus on reading because my head/imagination is so busy with other stuff.

    One of the greatest joys of my life is music--I play the piano and sing. I also enjoy listening to all sorts of music, recorded or live. I love opera, films, etc. Another joy is literature and poetry, I love words and what they can do to my emotions. I write a bit also. Everything else I do is creative somehow--I knit, crochet, spin, garden, quilt, sew, etc. Without that creative aspect, I'm uninterested. I enjoy the creative process almost more than the creative product. I would rather start 20 projects than stick with one until it's finished. I have a very hard time with boring chores such as laundry, dishes, cleaning, sorting through the kids' toys, etc. and I put those tasks off until the last minute which sometimes means my husband gets to them first because it drives him crazy when they aren't done (a source of conflict for us, occasionally).

    I love to eat all kinds of food--I'm an adventurous eater but I don't enjoy cooking that much, I'd rather go out. I love nature, animals (although I'm allergic to cats and some dogs, so we don't have any pets right now), children (my own three kids I love but they can drive me nuts with the noise level in the house. I'm not very tolerant of the noise).

    I love cars (classic cars, fast cars, interesting new cars) and driving around just to enjoy the scenery (is that a type thing?). I love motorcycles and that feeling of the wind on your face.

    I like to think about interior decorating sometimes but the decision-making process can take so long and I wind up feeling bored. I guess I have a problem sometimes making decisions. Once I was having drinks with friends and for some odd reason I could NOT decide what drink to order. I literally sat there for like a full awkward minute not being able to come up with what I felt like drinking. This happens to me more often than I would like to admit. When it doesn't happen, it's because I tell myself ahead of time that it's not going to happen and make the decision right away without allowing myself to think about it (or even look at the menu for very long) lest I change my mind and being looking foolish.

    I hate being late. I'm usually on time but I don't like wearing a watch because it makes me feel like my life is being controlled by time (I know that doesn't make sense but anyway). I can be kind of a rebel. I don't like being told what to do and will sometimes do the opposite just to prove my independence. I think I'd like to get a tattoo someday but it would have to be something perfect so it will probably never happen since I'll always be searching for that perfect tattoo. ha.

    I don't like being part of organized groups, I prefer to work independently on any and all projects. Yet I feel a need to feel as if I belong somewhere (in a group) so that has been sort of an interesting revelation recently. I like being alone but I know that I can get crazy when I'm alone too much. My imagination takes control and I need a rational person to help me. I don't like to stand out in groups but I like attention from people I care about. I have used my emotions to manipulate people in the past (not proud of that but it's the truth) and to gain attention (acting mad in a subtle way so that only the person I want to know can tell that something is wrong, and then making them guess why I'm upset without telling them why. Ugh, awful I know).

    I used to be (well, still am I guess, but I no longer have a darkroom) a photographer and am fascinated with the way that photographs capture time that will soon be past and how photos can help to put the history of one's life together in a unique way. There is a romantic, sad tone to photography that has always captured my imagination and longing.

    So what do you think. I did the enneagram test several times also (I know that's not what this forum is about) and I think I'm a 4 with a 5 wing. I did the MBTI and sometimes scored evenly on J/P and N/S. I'm definitely an introvert.

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    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    Given the choice of ISFp or INFp, I'd say closer to INFp.
    This mainly from the first half of what you wrote.

    The few ISFps I know don't think so much about their relationships, instead taking them "as it comes".

    The scenarios they talk about running through their heads are along the lines of trying to solve a real world problem they are involved in or will soon be involved in, running the scenario almost step by step through their mind, as if they are actually taking those steps...kind of as imaginary trial and error run throughs, but with an awareness of real world relationships (in this case "relationships" refers to ..as an example..what angle a tree will fall if it's cut here...the relationship between the angle of fall and the cutting).
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Eh, welcome.

    Your description sounds very INFp IMO.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    You are, without a trace of a doubt, INFp. Welcome, identical


    Dress pretty, play dirty ღ
    Johari
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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    What do you have to offer to your dual, no matter what type you are or you want to be. What is your strength?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    What do you have to offer to your dual, no matter what type you are or you want to be. What is your strength?
    I'm good at dealing with people in general but only if I'm in the mood and it's toward a specific goal (even if that goal is just having fun). Slightly quirky Fe. A little bit of craziness and unpredictability that can disarm tension. An openness and willingness to go along with someone else's ideas and goal, but needs guidance and energy behind it from someone else. I'm non-judgmental, not easily offended. I find myself wanting to be the one to make the other person feel good emotionally more than anything else. I can envision scenarios that I want to happen and then try to watch for opportunities for those things to happen (but everyone can do this I think).

    (the other thing is, I have WAY more of a victim thing going on romantically than a caregiver but I dunno how valid those categories are)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I'm good at dealing with people
    Fe/Fi


    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    in general but only if I'm in the mood and it's toward a specific goal
    Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    (even if that goal is just having fun). Slightly quirky Fe. A little bit of craziness and unpredictability that can disarm tension.
    Fe

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    An openness and willingness to go along with someone else's ideas and goal,

    Set by Ti

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    but needs guidance and energy behind it from someone else.
    Ti/Se


    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I'm non-judgmental, not easily offended.
    Fe/Fi


    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I find myself wanting to be the one to make the other person feel good emotionally more than anything else.
    Fe/Fi


    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I can envision scenarios that I want to happen and then try to watch for opportunities for those things to happen (but everyone can do this I think).

    Flow of events in time = Ni ego block. NO THEY CAN'T


    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    (the other thing is, I have WAY more of a victim thing going on romantically than a caregiver but I dunno how valid those categories are)
    Fe


    Only possible types for you are EIE or IEI

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Next question, if you will please...


    Would you like a more rigid/ structured environment where certain things are done a certain way or time? Or would you like a completely on the fly of things to be spontaneous, unplanned or impulsive?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    Next question, if you will please...


    Would you like a more rigid/ structured environment where certain things are done a certain way or time? Or would you like a completely on the fly of things to be spontaneous, unplanned or impulsive?
    the latter!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    the latter!
    IEI

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    I agree with maritsa. scary...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    I agree with maritsa. scary...
    lol
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    I hope that's not based exclusively on her last answer, SEIs are exactly the same about this.
    I think her last question was designed to determine EIE from IEI. You're right the SEIs are the same on that last question due to irrationality.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    I hope that's not based exclusively on her last answer, SEIs are exactly the same about this.
    This is very clearly Ni ego Pinocchio, even I can not fathom being able to or wanting to or automatically being able to take myself into this position, and I guess it happends subconsciously. But I don't focus or concern myself with this information.

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I can envision scenarios that I want to happen and then try to watch for opportunities for those things to happen (but everyone can do this I think).

    Flow of events in time = Ni ego block. NO THEY CAN'T

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    That's what I was thinking, and I'd say Ti or Te PoLR, even.
    ---


    Apparently not. Then considering that she is completely deluded, I regret that I asked the question in the first place :|.
    Yes, I did use the last question to determine rationality/irrationality.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dynamicism View Post
    Nah, they can. It's a generic attribute of the human mind; unless you happen to be born without a frontal lobe, etc.
    but to consciously focus on picking opportunities in the Ni nature that she talks about, as opposed to my conscious focus or yours even, greatly distinguishes our types from each other.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dynamicism View Post
    Everybody consciously focuses on picking some opportunities over others and they do so quite frequently in their waking hours, everyday.
    True, I mean to say what she said, which was envisioning scenerios, excuse me.

    "I can envision scenarios (situations/scenes) that I want to happen and then try to watch for opportunities for those things to happen"

    I focus on Bonds between relations and management of those bonds on an emotional/personal level based on my values.

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    If I were to answer the same question I gave to her:

    "What do you have to offer to your dual, no matter what type you are or you want to be. What is your strength?"

    What I have to offer is a deep bond, an assurance of stability and commitment, a promise that I won't just walk away easily or get upset and leave because things don't go well or that I find we can't somehow talk to each other and work things out. I offer ideas, insight, interesting perspectives and angles on the vast things that I am interested in to make our relationship not only interesting but also productive. I can offer my patience and planning. What I would like in return, is someone who makes sure I get rest when I need to rest because I can easily over work myself in not only the things I am interested in but also when I strive to be of assistance to others and the chores I pick to do. Also someone who can picks our meals as well because I can easily loose interest/apetite in food.

    See how different it is from Redbaron's?


    "Next question, if you will please...


    Would you like a more rigid/ structured environment where certain things are done a certain way or time? Or would you like a completely on the fly of things to be spontaneous, unplanned or impulsive?"

    I require a not super rigid environment but one where our activities are discussed and planned out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dynamicism View Post
    Well, yeah. I think what you choose on focusing/want to happen will be affected in part by your valued functions.
    I understand what you're saying but there is ultimately a preference for these things; if you start to eliminate things, what is there that we must have; this is easier when people have been in bad relationships because they can get a good perspective on what they were missing in a bad relationship and now they can focus on the things that matter.

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    isfp. infps lack the physical contexts you describe yourself as enjoying. You're like me in a lot of ways, but I don't really relate to your sense of how you relate to physical reality.

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    INFp.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    sigh. You're obviously INFp. You read signs. I'm not saying that only an INFp would stop wearing a watch because it symbolically implies that they're being controlled by time, but that correlates strongly with NF. I think a lot of the confusion comes from the fact that you buy into certain cultural signifiers (I can read freedom from the wind blowing in my hair in a motorcycle ride). Let me ask you a question. When you feel the wind blowing in your hair, do you feel the wind blowing in your hair, or do you get a mental image of the wind blowing in your hair? I guess it's probably the former, but... sigh. I think you're INFp.

    Also, you go on and on about wanting to do something and not having the volitional energy to do it, which is hallmark IEI. If someone walks along and says, "hey, let's go on a walk, come with me," you'll probably do it (I mean, if it's someone you want to hang out with/Se ego).

    I love to eat all kinds of food--I'm an adventurous eater but I don't enjoy cooking that much, I'd rather go out. I love nature, animals (although I'm allergic to cats and some dogs, so we don't have any pets right now), children (my own three kids I love but they can drive me nuts with the noise level in the house. I'm not very tolerant of the noise).
    The food bit reminds me of me quite a lot, the noise level issue reminds me of Si. But then you say that you get carried away in volume yourself. Again... I can see how the noise issue would be correlated to Ni rather than Si. And even then, not every behavior correlates to type. I do lots of Ne things, I think.

    I like being alone but I know that I can get crazy when I'm alone too much. My imagination takes control and I need a rational person to help me. I don't like to stand out in groups but I like attention from people I care about. I have used my emotions to manipulate people in the past (not proud of that but it's the truth) and to gain attention (acting mad in a subtle way so that only the person I want to know can tell that something is wrong, and then making them guess why I'm upset without telling them why. Ugh, awful I know).
    Still sounds IEI. I don't know that SEIs drive themselves crazy in the same way that IEIs do. I think they are cool if they're comfortable. They don't have to constantly have internal thought motion (I don't think).

    EDIT: God, I have the weirdest sense of deja vu about this post. sigh.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    This stuff probably points away from Si:

    I tend to assume everyone can take care of themselves when it comes to comfort. So I don't make sure people (i.e. my children) have their jackets or mittens in the winter and stuff like that. I feel like I can only handle my own needs. Obviously I was forced to think about it to some degree with the kids when they were smaller but I had to force myself, it didn't come naturally. Also, although I love to eat, I can't be bothered to cook (I do try, for the sake of the kids, but if it were just me, I'd never do it). I could eat cereal every night and be okay with that. There are too many other things to DO in life other than the comfy cozy eating and hanging out that many alpha SFs seem to prefer. I don't think it's a stage in my life either. I've always felt this way and yet been frustrated because I need someone else to take the lead with getting me out doing things and nobody does. I used to be roommates with an SEI. She was wonderfully easy to get along with. I loved her--she would make the best food and even share it with me! She loved her tv shows and that stuff was okay.... but it got old pretty fast and I felt myself withdrawing quite often into my own room. Her atmosphere was "pleasant" but not satisfying, if that makes sense. Of course my dad is SEI so I grew up with that stuff being valued and I'm used to it. My mom's an IEE so she values it too! I've always found their lifestyle... boring. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it per se, it's just missing so much.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    This stuff probably points away from Si:

    I tend to assume everyone can take care of themselves when it comes to comfort. So I don't make sure people (i.e. my children) have their jackets or mittens in the winter and stuff like that. I feel like I can only handle my own needs. Obviously I was forced to think about it to some degree with the kids when they were smaller but I had to force myself, it didn't come naturally. Also, although I love to eat, I can't be bothered to cook (I do try, for the sake of the kids, but if it were just me, I'd never do it). I could eat cereal every night and be okay with that.
    I'm the same way. In my case, I've attributed to having weak .

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    There are too many other things to DO in life other than the comfy cozy eating and hanging out that many alpha SFs seem to prefer. I don't think it's a stage in my life either. I've always felt this way and yet been frustrated because I need someone else to take the lead with getting me out doing things and nobody does. I used to be roommates with an SEI. She was wonderfully easy to get along with. I loved her--she would make the best food and even share it with me! She loved her tv shows and that stuff was okay.... but it got old pretty fast and I felt myself withdrawing quite often into my own room. Her atmosphere was "pleasant" but not satisfying, if that makes sense. Of course my dad is SEI so I grew up with that stuff being valued and I'm used to it. My mom's an IEE so she values it too! I've always found their lifestyle... boring. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it per se, it's just missing so much.
    I'm the same way again. I do enjoy the alpha SF comforts but I also want a variety of experiences in life. I do think I'm alpha but there's a small chance that I am in some other quadra. Maybe in my case its the being stronger than the .
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    Dunno if that points away from Si, but kinda points away from SEI.

    But for the record, IME SEIs consciously don't want to care for the others, they don't like pressure and obligations, but on the other hand they more than others do it, it's like when you go to meet some friends and drink, you don't have in mind to do that - maybe you don't want to drink actually, for example you wand to drive after that - but you spontaneously do that because... it happens. This is how I see SEIs approaching nurturing things, spontaneously. Those statistics revealed that SEIs are the type least willing to have children, and that confirms my observations (I think third after IEI and IEE, overall), but if they have, they're careful with them, without wanting or planning that.
    interesting!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    sigh. You're obviously INFp. You read signs. I'm not saying that only an INFp would stop wearing a watch because it symbolically implies that they're being controlled by time, but that correlates strongly with NF. I think a lot of the confusion comes from the fact that you buy into certain cultural signifiers (I can read freedom from the wind blowing in my hair in a motorcycle ride). Let me ask you a question. When you feel the wind blowing in your hair, do you feel the wind blowing in your hair, or do you get a mental image of the wind blowing in your hair? I guess it's probably the former, but... sigh. I think you're INFp.

    Also, you go on and on about wanting to do something and not having the volitional energy to do it, which is hallmark IEI. If someone walks along and says, "hey, let's go on a walk, come with me," you'll probably do it (I mean, if it's someone you want to hang out with/Se ego).



    The food bit reminds me of me quite a lot, the noise level issue reminds me of Si. But then you say that you get carried away in volume yourself. Again... I can see how the noise issue would be correlated to Ni rather than Si. And even then, not every behavior correlates to type. I do lots of Ne things, I think.



    Still sounds IEI. I don't know that SEIs drive themselves crazy in the same way that IEIs do. I think they are cool if they're comfortable. They don't have to constantly have internal thought motion (I don't think).

    EDIT: God, I have the weirdest sense of deja vu about this post. sigh.
    Yes, so do INFj; that's why they look alike.

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    xerx's Avatar
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    ESTj.
    It was in the reign of George III that the aforesaid personages lived and quarrelled; good or bad, handsome or ugly, rich or poor, they are all equal now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    ESTj.
    You're typing redbaron as ESTj?
    Are you kidding me?

    Have you not read her back log posts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    You're typing redbaron as ESTj?
    Are you kidding me?

    Have you not read her back log posts?
    I think ISTp makes the most sense.
    It was in the reign of George III that the aforesaid personages lived and quarrelled; good or bad, handsome or ugly, rich or poor, they are all equal now.

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