Page 1 of 5 12345 LastLast
Results 1 to 40 of 161

Thread: Tutorial: how to get along with SEIs-ISFps

  1. #1
    Kristiina's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Estonia, Tartu
    Posts
    4,021
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Tutorial: how to get along with SEIs-ISFps

    As an ENFj, I've had problems with getting along with ISFps. This is what I have learned:

    The best advice I can give - smile and nod. They don't think badly of shy people, because they often consider themselves to be quite shy. Observe an INTj who fails to laugh on command. They just smile politely. No need to be very expressive around introverts... I mean, if you try to have very good relations with introverts, it's better to be the active side, but if you act introverted, they certainly won't blame you, because they can relate. Just look shy and they'll understand. And don't look angry/mean/annoyed. They can sense it with their Fe creative. This is how their mind works - they gather emotional data from around them. Just look indifferent. Keep telling yourself that it's just a moment in time, nothing more. Their thoughts and actions are more momentary and less linked to a process, so for them, the moment really is "just a moment". Try to adopt the same attitude, because it helps you stay on the same level with them.

    Try to keep them happy. don't say negative things about the past, present or the future unless you definitely have to. If you do have to do that, try to give a solution to the problem. You don't want to be the person who ruins the moment for them. They work really hard to keep themselves happy, but due to the IP temperament and Fe creative function, their mood is very easy to ruin. They really dislike people who keep on ruining their mood.

    I don't understand ISFps and I have a hard time agreeing with them, but it usually doesn't make a difference for me, so I avoid trying to convince them that they are wrong. The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile. This behavior is easy to adopt.

    So to get along with ISFps, just smile and nod and the rest of the time look indifferent. Don't pout and don't argue.

    It actually works so well that ISFps start treating me like I'm an INTj. They start trying to cheer me up and when I give them a shy smile, they think they succeeded and they feel happy about it. (I read body language too). It's wise to uphold the illusion that you really are an INTj and that their Fe is working on you. It will keep them happier and this way it's easier to get along with them. One more thing - ISFps are surprisingly forgiving of a bad outfit when they realize you're just a goofy INTj who doesn't know any better. This make the aesthetics side of PoLR more tolerable.

    I can occasionally hang out with my ISFp sister so that's it's actually pleasant and I improved relations with my ISFp mother. The smile and nod-relationship seems very superficial and fake, but it's helluva lot better than not having any relationship with your own mother.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
    New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/

  2. #2
    Don't forget the the thehotelambush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    6,612
    Mentioned
    156 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Re: Tutorial: how to get along with ISFps.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile.
    Most of the other stuff is spot-on, but that is certainly not true. INTjs can be quite talkative if they/we have something interesting to say.

  3. #3
    Kristiina's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Estonia, Tartu
    Posts
    4,021
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Re: Tutorial: how to get along with ISFps.

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile.
    Most of the other stuff is spot-on, but that is certainly not true. INTjs can be quite talkative if they/we have something interesting to say.
    lol, true. But let me ask vice versa - would anyone ever be surprised if the INTj isn't talkative?
    When I'm not talkative, people ask me if something's wrong, but the non-talkative mode is a default for INTj (from what I've noticed). The same with all IxTx types, but when it comes to getting along with ISFps, it's best to play an INTj role. If INTjs feel strongly about something, they'll fight for it, but it has to affect them personally. When it's just opposed opinions, the INTj won't act like a raving madman trying to convert the other persons beliefs. (I might).
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
    New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/

  4. #4
    Logos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    5,406
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Re: Tutorial: how to get along with ISFps.

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile.
    Most of the other stuff is spot-on, but that is certainly not true. INTjs can be quite talkative if they/we have something interesting to say.
    And the irony about that is that the INTj may not even believe in what they are arguing; they can argue the actual arguments and not necessarily the content of the argument.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Johari Box

  5. #5
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    15,624
    Mentioned
    155 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Believe it or not, there are actually also smart ISFps around.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  6. #6
    Don't forget the the thehotelambush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    6,612
    Mentioned
    156 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Re: Tutorial: how to get along with ISFps.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile.
    Most of the other stuff is spot-on, but that is certainly not true. INTjs can be quite talkative if they/we have something interesting to say.
    lol, true. But let me ask vice versa - would anyone ever be surprised if the INTj isn't talkative?
    When I'm not talkative, people ask me if something's wrong, but the non-talkative mode is a default for INTj (from what I've noticed). The same with all IxTx types, but when it comes to getting along with ISFps, it's best to play an INTj role.
    Yeah, I see.

    From the perspective of an INTj, ISFps want me to act like an ENTp. I think they see me as clingy, for example.

    If INTjs feel strongly about something, they'll fight for it, but it has to affect them personally. When it's just opposed opinions, the INTj won't act like a raving madman trying to convert the other persons beliefs. (I might).


    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile.
    Most of the other stuff is spot-on, but that is certainly not true. INTjs can be quite talkative if they/we have something interesting to say.
    And the irony about that is that the INTj may not even believe in what they are arguing; they can argue the actual arguments and not necessarily the content of the argument.
    Definitely.

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Believe it or not, there are actually also smart ISFps around.
    Who said ISFps weren't smart?

  7. #7
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    15,624
    Mentioned
    155 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The first post does sound (to me) like you only have to nod and smile to everything they say etc
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    USA.
    TIM
    INTj
    Posts
    4,497
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    hotel, yeah i also think ISFps think im too clingy.

  9. #9
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Re: Tutorial: how to get along with ISFps.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile.
    Most of the other stuff is spot-on, but that is certainly not true. INTjs can be quite talkative if they/we have something interesting to say.
    lol, true. But let me ask vice versa - would anyone ever be surprised if the INTj isn't talkative?
    When I'm not talkative, people ask me if something's wrong, but the non-talkative mode is a default for INTj (from what I've noticed). The same with all IxTx types, but when it comes to getting along with ISFps, it's best to play an INTj role. If INTjs feel strongly about something, they'll fight for it, but it has to affect them personally. When it's just opposed opinions, the INTj won't act like a raving madman trying to convert the other persons beliefs. (I might).
    It is good to keep in mind that you are beta, and isfps are not.


    The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way
    That is not true, however. I have argued several people into believing things. I have destroyed other peoples beliefs and my own as well.



    ISFps want me to act like an ENTp
    This is the same for all types - wanting you to act like their dual.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  10. #10
    escaping anndelise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    WA
    TIM
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp
    Posts
    6,314
    Mentioned
    205 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I asked richard what he thought of the idea of being around someone who just smiled and nodded at him
    he said "i don't know"
    i asked him again
    he said "i don't know" again
    i said "you wouldn't mind?"
    he said "no"
    i started to walk away
    he said "i'd probably find it freaky after a while"
    finally, he responds

    that's the biggest thing i have to keep reminding myself
    to give him time to think about it, and then time to respond
    he doesn't like so much when i ask him these types of questions out of the blue
    once in a while he'll initiate a conversations over something like this, but it happens rarely, and usually has some kind of hidden emotional tie to something else
    either way, it's often the case that i need to give him a heads up that i'm going to ask him something
    ask it
    give him time to think about it
    give him more time to think about it
    give him time to form a response
    let him respond without interrupting him
    and try not to show any impatience
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

  11. #11
    Expat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    10,853
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    Try to keep them happy. don't say negative things about the past, present or the future unless you definitely have to. If you do have to do that, try to give a solution to the problem. You don't want to be the person who ruins the moment for them. They work really hard to keep themselves happy, but due to the IP temperament and Fe creative function, their mood is very easy to ruin. They really dislike people who keep on ruining their mood.

    I don't understand ISFps and I have a hard time agreeing with them, but it usually doesn't make a difference for me, so I avoid trying to convince them that they are wrong. The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile. This behavior is easy to adopt.

    So to get along with ISFps, just smile and nod and the rest of the time look indifferent. Don't pout and don't argue. =
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    The first post does sound (to me) like you only have to nod and smile to everything they say etc
    Actually I agree with Kristiina generally, the only caveat is this -- this is the way to get along with ISFps in purely casual conversation. Not when discussing work or study or concrete matters, obviously.

    For instance, when in a car with an ISFp during a long trip, if the ISFp makes a comment like, "they really should ban trucks from overtaking other trucks on a two-lane motorway" or "yeah this particular state (or province) is the worst of them all when it comes to radar control" etc, what you should not do is carry on the discussion by debating it or arguing, as in "well but if you do that all the truck travel times will increase greatly and that will damage the economy" or "I don't think so, I think this state is actually the most lenient with regard to radar control".

    Some types - like ENTjs - would actually see such a exchange as a way to debate information and question facts or beliefs; the ISFp will be thinking "why is he making a point of contradicting and questioning me? Why is he so hostile?"

    In this kind of situation, yes, I agree with Kristiina. Of course, during a discussion on important matters, you can't just nod and smile.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

  12. #12
    Khamelion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    TIM
    SEE-Fi 6w7 sx/so
    Posts
    3,828
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    jkjh
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

  13. #13
    Elro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Not here
    Posts
    2,796
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I have some experience with ISFps, or at least I-think-ISFps. Edit: he's an ESFj, never mind.

  14. #14
    implied's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    7,750
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiina
    Try to keep them happy. don't say negative things about the past, present or the future unless you definitely have to. If you do have to do that, try to give a solution to the problem. You don't want to be the person who ruins the moment for them. They work really hard to keep themselves happy, but due to the IP temperament and Fe creative function, their mood is very easy to ruin. They really dislike people who keep on ruining their mood.

    I don't understand ISFps and I have a hard time agreeing with them, but it usually doesn't make a difference for me, so I avoid trying to convince them that they are wrong. The INTj approach works here too - INTjs won't argue anyone into believing anything. They'll look indifferent in a shy way. And the opposite - when someone tells an INTj something that they DO like to hear, the INTj still won't respond. They just smile in a shy way. It's the Fe people who always verbally agree with things, but Ti people don't do this so much. At most, the Ti people nod and smile. This behavior is easy to adopt.

    So to get along with ISFps, just smile and nod and the rest of the time look indifferent. Don't pout and don't argue. =
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    The first post does sound (to me) like you only have to nod and smile to everything they say etc
    Actually I agree with Kristiina generally, the only caveat is this -- this is the way to get along with ISFps in purely casual conversation. Not when discussing work or study or concrete matters, obviously.

    ugh. exactly. i couldn't help but think as i read her advice, "well i try to do this, but whenever i am talking about work/study/concrete matters/anything remotely important, it doesn't work so well." if you have anywhere in your ego block or mention anything to them, they think you are "lecturing" them or being unnecessarily aggressive/fight-pickery, in my experiences. basically just make sure you don't discuss anything or contradict their views ever. i guess the reason that INTjs (perhaps ENTps?) get on with them so well is because they are more open to just letting opinions be and don't see the need in debating or carrying discussions any deeper?

    For instance, when in a car with an ISFp during a long trip, if the ISFp makes a comment like, "they really should ban trucks from overtaking other trucks on a two-lane motorway" or "yeah this particular state (or province) is the worst of them all when it comes to radar control" etc, what you should not do is carry on the discussion by debating it or arguing, as in "well but if you do that all the truck travel times will increase greatly and that will damage the economy" or "I don't think so, I think this state is actually the most lenient with regard to radar control".

    Some types - like ENTjs - would actually see such a exchange as a way to debate information and question facts or beliefs; the ISFp will be thinking "why is he making a point of contradicting and questioning me? Why is he so hostile?"

    In this kind of situation, yes, I agree with Kristiina. Of course, during a discussion on important matters, you can't just nod and smile.
    excellent!

    with my mom (who is ESFj, occasionally ISFp-ish as well, of course,) i find we can sort of semi-bond nowadays when it comes to something totally neutral and when i feel like "doing things" with her. this is usually some activity like cooking or gardening or some such thing. however, i have a lot of problems forcing myself to smile and be in a good mood (or even a neutral mood) around her. we just butt heads constantly over stupid things and a lot of times she just brings up stuff that i won't mention here that i hate as well.
    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

  15. #15
    Expat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    10,853
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    i guess the reason that INTjs (perhaps ENTps?) get on with them so well is because they are more open to just letting opinions be and don't see the need in debating or carrying discussions any deeper?
    Well ENTps and INTjs have strong views, obviously.

    I think it works like this -- in matters where the ISFps are undecided, they welcome a quick sure Ti reply from the ENTp. In matters where the ISFp already has own strong Ti views, the ENTp doesn't challenge them for the sake for Fe. That's how I've seen it working between my ENTp brother and his ISFp wife. He's an atheist and she's a devout Catholic, but that never even began to be an issue.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

  16. #16

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    i guess the reason that INTjs (perhaps ENTps?) get on with them so well is because they are more open to just letting opinions be and don't see the need in debating or carrying discussions any deeper?
    Well ENTps and INTjs have strong views, obviously.

    I think it works like this -- in matters where the ISFps are undecided, they welcome a quick sure Ti reply from the ENTp. In matters where the ISFp already has own strong Ti views, the ENTp doesn't challenge them for the sake for Fe. That's how I've seen it working between my ENTp brother and his ISFp wife. He's an atheist and she's a devout Catholic, but that never even began to be an issue.
    Oh yeah I have experience with that. I know several ISFps. One I am close friends with. Challenging their views is a no no. True ENTp is helpful to them only when they are unsure or they need help getting out of a bad mood (easy for us to do). Thing is a lot of ISFp views are argued with Ti and Si (concreteness of the situation or issue). As an ENTp you can't really argue with it, because they are using our natural weapon, Ti, with something we are unsure about, Si. Again we may try, but it starts to damage Fe and then Si if the ISFp starts using Se. However, I have found by using a Ne+Fe joke confuses the hell out of them. They won't know if you joking or being mean, its funny to me seeing them trying to process it as if it was all of the above.

    For the most part when they say stuff at a moment, when making a statement like the "traffic" one, its really just to vent. Let them vent, and respond by joking about it or asking them questions so they can continue. After all they don't like the spotlight so when they want some attention let them shine.
    ILE

  17. #17
    implied's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    7,750
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    i guess the reason that INTjs (perhaps ENTps?) get on with them so well is because they are more open to just letting opinions be and don't see the need in debating or carrying discussions any deeper?
    Well ENTps and INTjs have strong views, obviously.

    I think it works like this -- in matters where the ISFps are undecided, they welcome a quick sure Ti reply from the ENTp. In matters where the ISFp already has own strong Ti views, the ENTp doesn't challenge them for the sake for Fe. That's how I've seen it working between my ENTp brother and his ISFp wife. He's an atheist and she's a devout Catholic, but that never even began to be an issue.
    but you can imagine what would happen if he were to challenge her views about catholicism?
    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

  18. #18
    Expat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    10,853
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    but you can imagine what would happen if he were to challenge her views about catholicism?
    She'd probably avoid the discussion, get annoyed at me for raising it, and get upset if I insisted.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

  19. #19
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    15,624
    Mentioned
    155 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think I must retype two ISFp as either INFp or ESFp, do they have the same reaction?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  20. #20
    Expat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    10,853
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    I think I must retype two ISFp as either INFp or ESFp, do they have the same reaction?
    Well religious beliefs are tricky, it's difficult to relate to type.

    But in things like my "traffic"' example -- I'd expect ESFps to be the opposite, and INFps not to care much.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

  21. #21
    Kristiina's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Estonia, Tartu
    Posts
    4,021
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    I think I must retype two ISFp as either INFp or ESFp, do they have the same reaction?
    Well religious beliefs are tricky, it's difficult to relate to type.

    But in things like my "traffic"' example -- I'd expect ESFps to be the opposite, and INFps not to care much.
    Well... It depends with INFps. My INFp sister still keeps fighting with the INTp about all the small things. Any kind of thing can cause a snappy comment followed by lots of explenations why Te sucks.

    I agree that my suggestion don't work for serious topics. The nod&smile approach mainly says to avoid any serious discsussion.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
    New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/

  22. #22

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Florida
    TIM
    ILE 8w9
    Posts
    3,249
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    When ISFp's try to argue anything I will either smile and nod my head or I argue with them right back. Arguments between ENTp and ISFp are mild in my experience, after a little while they may start to compromise and then I'll start backing off because of my hidden agenda.
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

  23. #23

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    852
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think Kristiina's "tutorial" contains some helpful insights into how non-alphas can get along better with ISFps. I actually think they really like it when you smile and look happy and agreeable at all times even if you don't really feel like it. And yes, it is more or less true that they often see others behavior as mean and take it as a personal attack on them if you challenge/argue with them about most issues.
    Socionics: XNFx
    MBTI: INFJ

  24. #24
    detail's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    483
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The main barrier discussed here is the / and / difference. Both "clans" value ideas a lot but they do it differently. / love for ideas is directed at how they are not connected to the real world because they are ideas and / love for idea is directed at ideas themselves because of their implications. In the case where / is added to /, the concept of "what the implementation of an idea means" is even stronger because more consequnces are added. It is of course too much for the ISFp who considered his feeling of the moment or isolated concept as not being connected to the real world. Older I(S)Fps have their facts really straight though.


    On another note: It's interesting how the / and / difference manifests itself between people of opposing values. types often think types are acting against them while types often think types are acting against them.

  25. #25

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Florida
    TIM
    ILE 8w9
    Posts
    3,249
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default relations with ISFp's

    Are there any guidelines to getting along well with ISFp's?

    Based on experience, what are their strengths and weaknesses?
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

  26. #26
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,321
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    They are accepting of others and very sweet. Whatever you do, avoid conflict as this type dislikes it quite a lot from what I can tell. Ask them questions on a topic they like and get them talking....they can talk for a long while and seem to enjoy it. The ones I know have a sweet tooth, they love baked goods Music, nature, beauty, amusement parks, this type is very fun and they love to laugh. But they can get discouraged when they don't feel appreciated. When they are quiet, don't pry with annoying questions (oh I've found this out the hard way), just let them work it out on their own, give them space. Appreciate who they are and the things they do for you because more often than not, their affection is shown through deeds or gifts rather than words. Don't force them to articulate their feelings. Hanging out, wasting time with someone they like seems to be something they are good at, and I think that's really nice especially since so many people are running around, too busy, chasing this or that goal or dream (not that there's anything wrong with that)!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  27. #27

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    694
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The ISFps I've met are some of the easiest people to like. They're very accepting and will befriend almost anyone. Very supportive --good at dragging you out of negative moods and problems.

    On the negative side -- absent minded and remarkabley flakey at times. Whenever I hang out with my ISFp friend, we spent most of the evening running back up to her apartment because she's forgotten something. I don't think I've ever made it anywhere on time with her. Another ISFp I work with will sometimes tell me something with complete confidence, "Yes, this is what we're supposed to do and this is how it's supposed to be done". A short while later the ISFp will come up to me and ask, "Hey, how are we supposed to do this?" on the very thing she had so confidently given me instructions on not even a few hours earlier. I will then find out she had no idea what she was talking about and I have just wasted time doing something the wrong way.
    IEI subtype

  28. #28
    implied's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    7,750
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    The ISFps I've met are some of the easiest people to like. They're very accepting and will befriend almost anyone. Very supportive --good at dragging you out of negative moods and problems.

    On the negative side -- absent minded and remarkabley flakey at times. Whenever I hang out with my ISFp friend, we spent most of the evening running back up to her apartment because she's forgotten something. I don't think I've ever made it anywhere on time with her. Another ISFp I work with will sometimes tell me something with complete confidence, "Yes, this is what we're supposed to do and this is how it's supposed to be done". A short while later the ISFp will come up to me and ask, "Hey, how are we supposed to do this?" on the very thing she had so confidently given me instructions on not even a few hours earlier. I will then find out she had no idea what she was talking about and I have just wasted time doing something the wrong way.

    hah! my experience matches this very much. you know the ESFp description where they say they'll leave a dish on the stove unattended to burn? i've had that happen a few times with an ISFp. it's a really bizarre sort of absent-mindedness and you're one of the first i've heard actually mention this. the thing where they don't recall what they've told you a few hours earlier always sort of weirds me out. i feel like i'm in a time warp or some weird casino where 10 hours have passed and every event that has taken place within that time period is completely unaccounted for. totally bizarre.


    and fwiw, i don't believe my memory is stellar. i feel like there's a general link between interest/intensity of the event and what i actually memorize in detail. it's a pretty normal mental function to sift through what's important/isn't important. it isn't really a criticism of ISFps or anything i'd want to link to them specifically, just an area where i've had a similar experience.
    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

  29. #29
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    15,624
    Mentioned
    155 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Hanging out, wasting time with someone they like seems to be something they are good at, and I think that's really nice especially since so many people are running around, too busy, chasing this or that goal or dream (not that there's anything wrong with that)!
    I agree with this, I think it's something that slowly gets lost during our lives, in order to favor goals that for the most parts are either unlikely to happen, or won't bring us any more happiness that a good meal with our S.O.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  30. #30
    implied's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    7,750
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Hanging out, wasting time with someone they like seems to be something they are good at, and I think that's really nice especially since so many people are running around, too busy, chasing this or that goal or dream (not that there's anything wrong with that)!
    I agree with this, I think it's something that slowly gets lost during our lives, in order to favor goals that for the most parts are either unlikely to happen, or won't bring us any more happiness that a good meal with our S.O.
    yeah, i find this incredibly attractive honestly.
    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

  31. #31
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,757
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    Hanging out, wasting time with someone they like seems to be something they are good at, and I think that's really nice especially since so many people are running around, too busy, chasing this or that goal or dream (not that there's anything wrong with that)!
    I agree with this, I think it's something that slowly gets lost during our lives, in order to favor goals that for the most parts are either unlikely to happen, or won't bring us any more happiness that a good meal with our S.O.
    yeah, i find this incredibly attractive honestly.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em80ViNVlHM

    God I love that song.

  32. #32
    Creepy-bg

    Default

    God I love that band

  33. #33
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,757
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    God I love weed

  34. #34

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Florida
    TIM
    ILE 8w9
    Posts
    3,249
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yes! Thanks to all that replied. The relation seems to be going great anyways. I just wanted to know if there were any quirks I should know about (you know, make this information useful :wink: ).
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

  35. #35
    implied's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    7,750
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean
    Yes! Thanks to all that replied. The relation seems to be going great anyways. I just wanted to know if there were any quirks I should know about (you know, make this information useful :wink: ).
    the leaving things on the stove thing is pretty important-slash-useful.
    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

  36. #36
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Chatbox
    TIM
    SEI, 9
    Posts
    5,268
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I feel the need to defend us ISFps. The truest thing Kristina said is that she doesn't understand ISFps. That is obvious. For one, someone that just smiled and nodded at everything I said would bore the living daylights out of me. I would sooner talk into a tape recorder. If you call that 'getting on', Kristina, than your relationships must leave a lot to be desired. I like knowing other people's opinions and would take an argument about something meaningful over exchanging empty pleasantries any day. By the way, I have an ENFj sister and we get on really well.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  37. #37
    meatburger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    A Quazar named Northern Territory
    Posts
    2,570
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    An old ENTp friend came back with his ISFp girlfriend recently and she actually seemed quite like him. This ENTp loves to talk about weird stuff and she really eats it up. Like she pointed out how a woman had "Back breasts" like fat on her back that looked like boobs and the ENTp and her just laughed up a storm.

    Being their Semi dual i like them a lot but i dont think i cant offer any practical advice because i think i use Fe and Ne to help. We were sitting at the dinner table talking about lollies and i said that lollies keep me strong. She looks at me and said and how do lollies keep you strong? Im like well i eat a lot of milk bottles because of my broken hand. Shes like why? Im like because of all the calcium in them. She seemed to like this answer
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

  38. #38
    xyz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    7,709
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    How to get along with ISFps? Give em hugs n kisses n skittles and treat em with respect and you'll do fine.

  39. #39
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Chatbox
    TIM
    SEI, 9
    Posts
    5,268
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    How to get along with ISFps? Give em hugs n kisses n skittles and treat em with respect and you'll do fine.
    Now you're talking ...
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  40. #40
    Gone. theMime.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    1,297
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Megan View Post
    I think Kristiina's "tutorial" contains some helpful insights into how non-alphas can get along better with ISFps. I actually think they really like it when you smile and look happy and agreeable at all times even if you don't really feel like it. And yes, it is more or less true that they often see others behavior as mean and take it as a personal attack on them if you challenge/argue with them about most issues.
    I can't answer for all ISFps but I can answer for myself....I would MUCH RATHER people be genuine than put on a charade for me!

    And about that bit on personal attack...the right wording will get you far. For instance, "You're wrong, it's like this..." won't be recieved as well as "I'm concerned that you don't have the right information, the sources I've come across tell me something different than what you said, would you be interested in hearing about it?" The latter would not make me feel attacked and I'm sure it wouldn't make most other ISFps feel attacked either.

    Most of us thoroughly enjoy discussing topics of interest. It's just it has to be about the topic and not about who's right/wrong.

    yup.

Page 1 of 5 12345 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •