Do you like drama?

[tcaudilllg]

ISFp supervises ENFj. It would seem to me then, that people who have ISFp as their exertion type would not tolerate the activity of an ENFj IE type partner. (citing "drama" issues.) But they may choose an ENFj IM type.

I've actually noticed this in a lot of dating profiles. ("NO DRAMA!!")

I like drama myself, though to borrow labcoat's spin on the dual-type model, I tend to find myself a detatched observer of a world full of dramas. The battle of good vs. evil rages on between all people, and I simply find myself in the middle of it trying to bring some clarity to its persistence. Obviously an ISFp IE type would be trying to put an end to it all together.

[FDG]

I like fake drama, but not in relationships, only in casual friendly settings. I can't really expain, but push pull actually makes my love go away, instead of rollercoasting.

[Expat]

Very obvious playful drama can be fun. But not "dramatic drama", especially in relationships.

I briefly dated a woman who, because of a minor misunderstanding (like, I did not understand something she had said, and she took my reply, apparently, as an insult or slight) would immediately say, "then let's cancel our [insert random appointment here] right now!!!!!" and when I'd say, baffled, "ok, if that's what you want", then I'd be the villain for taking what she said at face value. Needless to say, it went nowhere.

[Slacker]

I don't like the kind of drama that always seems to be present in my family. See "INFjs gone bad" under Delta for an example. There's always some emotional psycho issue going on in my family.

[eunice]

I don't like people who make a mountain out of a molehill. But I like what FDG called "fake drama in casual friendly setting". Moreover, I also find it entertaining to watch people banter and argue, as long as I'm not part of it.

[Jarno]

The types that most like drama in their lives are probably:

ENFP (very dramatic)
INFP (slightly dramatic)

[Exodus]

The types that most like drama in their lives are probably:

ENFP (very dramatic)
INFP (slightly dramatic)

ENFps dramatic? I don't think so.

Very obvious playful drama can be fun. But not "dramatic drama", especially in relationships.

I briefly dated a woman who, because of a minor misunderstanding (like, I did not understand something she had said, and she took my reply, apparently, as an insult or slight) would immediately say, "then let's cancel our [insert random appointment here] right now!!!!!" and when I'd say, baffled, "ok, if that's what you want", then I'd be the villain for taking what she said at face value. Needless to say, it went nowhere.

Curious, what type was she? My ISTj mother does things like that.

I think this is primarily a Beta phenomenon. (More Beta j than Beta p.)

[misutii]

I like fake drama, but not in relationships, only in casual friendly settings. I can't really expain, but push pull actually makes my love go away, instead of rollercoasting.

same with me! my infj friend says i'm a drama-queen sometimes but in retrospect my kind of drama is the created playful kind... where as she actually has a lot more 'real life' drama in her life.

I can't stand having to be part of distressing situations, especially being the one to make it worse. It puts me into a bad mood that I find difficult to get rid of. even if, for example, i'm out with my friend and his gf and they get into a fight, it's like that tension transfers badly onto me and I suddenly get anxious and just want to get away.

When I'm forced to deal with "real-life" drama I deal with it very abruptly. Like if I feel disrespected I will make it known immediately, i.e. when i felt insulted by my roomate I yelled at him and slammed my door. He later seemed hurt that i would react like that and apologized but I didn't apologize for my actions because there's no point for me to apologize for how I feel. The purpose of my behaviour was to make sure that my feelings were known and that the same situation didn't happen again. I find it pathetic how some people always hurt others and then apologize and expect them to accept that apology, and then do it again and apologize again etc. I don't put up with that bull-shit. If you make a mistake and hurt someone then if you HONESTLY want to apologize save your breath and apologize by not making the same kind of mistake again. Words are cheap and anyone that thinks otherwise is naive.

[Slacker]

The types that most like drama in their lives are probably:

ENFP (very dramatic)
INFP (slightly dramatic)

If ENFps liked drama, our dual wouldn't be ISTp.

[Mea]

The types that most like drama in their lives are probably:

ENFP (very dramatic)
INFP (slightly dramatic)

If ENFps liked drama, our dual wouldn't be ISTp.

Yea.
ENFps like drama?! Actually we hate it. Err. At least I hate it.

People who are all dramatic kinda make me uncomfortable. And they seem fake.

[Slacker]

Drama makes me anxious. I agree that I get drawn into it, but I don't like it. I think one of the good things about ISTps is that they help eliminate our drama. If I complain to my husband about some drama in my family, he often has a way to extricate me from it.

[krieger]

Drama brings excitement. I love watching it from the sidelines. As soon as I get involved, though, my effect on it is always very... relativizing. (as in: problem? what problem?)

It seems more like a exertion Si type would do their utmost to keep convincing themselves that they don't live in a world full of drama, don't you think? I could see how my own influence would help toward that end.

(relativizing had better be a word )

[stefana]

playful drama/banter is fine but not the interpersonal-strife kind. i usually try to avoid the latter, sometimes to the point of being conflict-avoidant, but i cannot promise that i won't get into that sort of drama if i lose my patience, which i of course try not to (!) since it's a waste of time and energy.

[Gilly]

The types that most like drama in their lives are probably:

ENFP (very dramatic)
INFP (slightly dramatic)

Other way around, for SURE.

[discojoe]

I'm utterly intolerant to drama in my personal life. It is never sincere, and is always trying to attain some end other than what it is voicing. Ignoring it and focusing on the real problem is how I deal with it.

[XoX]

I don't know what I think of drama. I haven't experienced much I guess. I don't completely judge the possibility of me liking drama but I don't wish for it to interfere with things that matter to me. If it is only for entertainment then perhaps. I wonder if drama generally leads to sex afterwards?

[Jarno]

The types that most like drama in their lives are probably:

ENFP (very dramatic)
INFP (slightly dramatic)

ENFps dramatic? I don't think so.

ENFP have a tendency to argue and than make friends again. They also take things personally and get emotional sometimes. At least that's what I meant with drama...

[XoX]

The types that most like drama in their lives are probably:

ENFP (very dramatic)
INFP (slightly dramatic)

ENFps dramatic? I don't think so.

ENFP have a tendency to argue and than make friends again. They also take things personally and get emotional sometimes. At least that's what I meant with drama...

That sounds like Kim Also I can see how Slacker Mom and anndelise can create that kind of drama even though it is less evident in them. INFp drama would be more about "creating" drama (consciously even) instead of just being naturally a bit emotional and dramatic.

[KSpin]

I don't see the point in any drama. It all seems so trivial, I feel as if it doesn't matter, but they're making such a big deal over it. If I know the person, I may make suggestions as to how to resolve a personal problem. If I don't know them, mentally I'll think "get over it".

[Exodus]

I think I like drama.

[Creepy-male]

Well in everything I read from the Long line of Jung personality things, socionics being one of them it always says NF's are the most enthusiastic/excitable. This doesn't always mean happy, bouncy, efferviscent though. This can all mean sad and angry and such, the general theme is NF's are quick to respond emotionally to things and stay in that emotional centering for a while and its hard to shake off. If NF's are in an excited and silly mood it really hard for them to be serious and just settle down and if NF's are in a bad mood it really hard for them smile unless they can find something to raise their spirits, however the moment they do that excites them. So the idea is, NF's nessicarily don't like drama but live that way due to their immense excitable nature to the emotions/feelings flying through the air.

I think all normal people though prefer a mix of excitment, drama, and adventure but ultimately positive resolutions to these undertakings, in other words its always nice to feel like important stuff is happening in your life and that things are moving foward in a very dramatic way, but too much drama without any resolution can be taxing on a person. Say a person is drawn into a dramatic relationship with its large up's and down's, something like this would be really nice because the relationship would feel alive and the rewards would be immense for overcoming relationship hindrances, but always arguing and only temporarily making up after such arguments would soon become taxing and the person would soon only long for resolution of the arguments and the drama would become bad.

I think NT's want a reasonable/controllable life, so they'd like to be in charge of the drama and understand it. NT's would get ticked by drama that was irrational and beyond their range of control. I think Sp's want adventure in their life and drama is part of that, except I think Sp's would get ticked by drama that seems to them to come from unrealistic sources (Intuitive sources in other words). I think Sj's want excitment too in their life, but they long for security and routine, so I think Sj's want to be able to anticipate drama and contain it to just a small area in their lifes and when it interferes with their ability to be dependable to temporarily rearrange it in their lifes because something else is in their schedule. The NF on the other hand simply lives in the drama so to speak, its not because they will it that way but merely because they ride life on the wave of their emotions and they feel compelled to react to such things.

[anndelise]

Posted in another thread, applicable to this thread:

Pretty much ANY person who is not a participant in an emotional interaction/state will consider that emotional interaction/state to be "drama". They are not the ones feeling the emotions, they are not the ones who are aware as to what's leading up to the emotions, therefore why are you (the general form of "you") being so emotional? A person reads an insult, the insult is not tailored to them, nor directed at them, so it's dumb for you to feel insulted. They don't feel insulted by a comment tailored to you, so why should you feel insulted? Any type is capable of thinking this way, including beta NFs. (I only specifically stated them because of the above Fe vs Si/Te attribution.) I don't know how many times I've heard my infp brother and a couple of infp friends dissing other people's "drama". All in all, there seems to be a common belief that my emotional interactions/states are ok, but yours are drama (with a negative connotation to the term drama).

Anyways, I think that the level of acceptance for "drama" may correlate to level of ability/willingness to empathize.
And yes, I think that NTs, STs, SFs are capable of empathizing *(see note below), and that just because a person is an NF does not mean they always empathize.

Just my $.02 Take it or leave it as you choose.


(*note: I'm not sure if T's empathize, or if it's more that they are aware of what at least one of the participants is attempting to argue for/against, regardless of the emotional aspects of the interaction.)

ann, you may want to add that to the list of cognitive bias

actor-observer bias

when I was first sorting, I had the actor-observer bias with the fundamental attribution error, they seemed too similar to have two spots, and so I attempted to cover both of them in what came to be number 6:

6. over-emphasizing personality influences on behavior
while under-emphasizing situational influences on the same behavior

I felt that they were pretty similar and both covered the other.
Do you agree? or do you think I should go ahead and alter something?

I think that other biases come into play regarding "drama" as well
* Projection bias — the tendency to unconsciously assume that others share the same or similar thoughts, beliefs, values, or positions.
* Impact bias — the tendency for people to overestimate (or in "drama's" case..underestimate) the length or the intensity of the impact of future feeling states.

and these two combined:
* Status quo bias — the tendency for people to like things to stay relatively the same
* System justification — the tendency to defend and bolster the status quo, i.e. existing social, economic, and political arrangements tend to be preferred, and alternatives disparaged sometimes even at the expense of individual and collective self-interest.

Perhaps I'll include a subsection in that thread which focuses on "drama" specifically

Pasted from < http://the16types.no-ip.info/forums/...ighlight=drama >

[redbaron]

Well in everything I read from the Long line of Jung personality things, socionics being one of them it always says NF's are the most enthusiastic/excitable. This doesn't always mean happy, bouncy, efferviscent though. This can all mean sad and angry and such, the general theme is NF's are quick to respond emotionally to things and stay in that emotional centering for a while and its hard to shake off. If NF's are in an excited and silly mood it really hard for them to be serious and just settle down and if NF's are in a bad mood it really hard for them smile unless they can find something to raise their spirits, however the moment they do that excites them. So the idea is, NF's nessicarily don't like drama but live that way due to their immense excitable nature to the emotions/feelings flying through the air.

I am very much this way. A couple weeks ago I was sitting in church with my husband and he said something funny (we always whisper back and forth which we probably shouldn't do but cannot help ourselves) and I was in a good mood to begin with and started giggling. Well I couldn't stop. I almost had to get up and leave. Kinda embarrassing. On the flip side of that coin, if something is really bothering me it's very hard to pull myself out of that. And I don't like that I'm that way. I truly wish I could be more balanced. Sometimes I do create a bit of drama to be funny but that's the more playful kind. I try not to inflict the other kinds of bad drama on others if I can help it.

[Creepy-male]

Yep thats it, NF's are excitable like that but its not always a blessing and it not like they do it on purpose. Ideally like every person they too would prefer to leave out the bad kind of drama, but sometimes it follows them unwantedly like one of those annoying peices of plastic that always stick to your fingers. Anyways life is like that for everyone just the NF's are especially excitable, other types try to limit this excitability intentionally though with reasoning or concentrating on reality.

[Creepy-bg]

...but sometimes it follows them unwantedly like one of those annoying peices of plastic that always stick to your fingers...

???

[Not A Communist Shill]

I like some kinds of drama - I don't like opera style things for example, or distressing TV programmes with people arguing with each other over insignificant daily problems. The kind of drama I like is where a person represents a raw emotion, like happiness or sadness, or represents an ideal e.g. heroism etc., rather than a character with personal problems which I can't relate to - I like the characters to be quite 'safe'. I think that's probably how I see my relationships with people - they have to embody some ideal + be more than human etc.


(This is an example of the kind of drama I like - the Russian play bit ):

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M3qxDT0Ysc[/youtube]

[UDP]

^ alpha --> beta humor.


Somewhat repetitive for me, or outdated at least. Common.
I am not really a fan of drama, though if it is on, I suppose I prefer the alpha, blatantly intentional/fun/lighthearted kind. Nothing too serious or gory -- if I'm trying to relax. If the movie or show is supposed to be mentally intriguing, then it suffers the harsh judgments of my Ti... I do not like many movies like that lately.

[Creepy-male]

...but sometimes it follows them unwantedly like one of those annoying peices of plastic that always stick to your fingers...

???

, its an analogy, you know when you open up a CD or like DVD and its covered in the that thin sheet of clear plastic? Well you know how sometimes when you finish opening it and you go to throw away the plastic it never wants to leave your hand because of static electricity so you grab it with your other hand and it sticks to that.... etc etc. Thats what I am refering to, because it clings to you in an annoying way.

[Creepy-male]

Well I think like part of this all is there is a big usage of the word drama to mean overreacting to things. Like in high school people always say, "there so dramatic" or refer to people as "drama queens", etc. Usually this drama is concerning a person's overreaction to something, like someone freaking out and losing their cool about small and insignificant facts like breaking a nail or someone calling them a name or having a boy look at you etc. Its usually mostly girls too.

Also drama is also used when refering to opera or plays that are super intense with usually massive overblown problems and conflicts which create a dark atmospher in which character go through huge emotional ups and downs very fast. Usually chances are though drama like this is out of style in modern society since we see these arts now days in Musicals, Movies, and Television. However drama still exists in these. Basically its useful in stories because it helps people empathize with the main character, consider the popular movie "Gladiator", many people liked the movie and have seen it and it is rather dramatic and its that drama that makes it a good story. It would have ruined the whole movie if the plot line was Maximus looking for a place to sit at the Arena, it would have been very boring to watch a person find a seat for 2 hours. However the plot line was very intense and with a powerful resolution, something very entertaining. So really drama in the arts is about tension and release and not so much about the tension. In life though people would probably prefer to live with not finding a seat over having their family murdered, being enslaved, and killed.

Anyways I've rambled on alot, my point is I guess its pretty run of the mill to assume not many people like drama because to them it embodies tension in a negative way, out of style art, or fusy adolscent girls. However drama people love if it provides them with excitement in life, why do people end up going into affairs when they are married if it causes tension?? The reason is people want the excitment of another relationship and sacrifice the possibility of tension for that. People by nature want to seek out experiences and are curious and with this comes the bad not just the good, trying to limit bad experiences ultimately eliminates excitment, although ideally people want to overcome the bad. Its like people doing stunts and extreme sports, sure they could play it safe and not do anything risky, but without the risk their wouldn't be any excitment, the ideal for them is to get the experience and not get hurt and if they do to recover. Now onto out of style art.... something as run of the mill as the movie "Gladiator" or even the TV show "Grey's Anatomy", or the TV News is teaming with drama and our society soaks it up. And well fusy adolescent girls????? maybe this drama we could do without.

[jaja]

i like drama. especially the inspirational ones. in romance, i admire people who are very devoted and loyal to their loved ones. i think it's beautiful / true love.

[UDP]

i like drama. especially the inspirational ones. in romance, i admire people who are very devoted and loyal to their loved ones. i think it's beautiful / true love.

I do not consider that "drama", I consider that the standard for a sincere, intimate relationship.

[jaja]

i was thinking about movies like Millenium actress or the OVA of rurouni kenshin. aren't those dramas?
ehehe. sorry if i gave out animes.

[Gilly]

I don't mind drama as long as it doesn't start involving others who have no business in it, especially when it's other people involving me or my friends in their drama.

[Mea]

i was thinking about movies like Millenium actress or the OVA of rurouni kenshin. aren't those dramas?
ehehe. sorry if i gave out animes.

I don't think they're referring to THAT kind of dramas.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=drama
But some of the definitions are kinda exaggerated.

[Khamelion]

I like it...if it is around something important. Pointless drama is boring and a bother to sort out (although I often take on the job). But the drama that comes from doing something important or new, life changing or something like that, I like that. Normally comes with adrenaline.

[Joy]

Drama is really annoying and is generally a wasted effort because it accomplishes nothing most of the time. At least nothing that couldn't be accomplished more efficiently without drama (from my perspective). Sometimes when people get themselves all worked up and act absolutely ridiculous it can be hard not to chuckle.

[Khamelion]

I think there are some different idea of "drama" here...

...for instance, the kind that makes people come off ridiculous makes me embarrassed, amused, or annoyed.

But yeah, I guess I'm associating it with adrenaline...however it's spelled.