Are dual relations best?

[Hugo]

Dual relations are supposed to create comfort for you as it is a totally supportive relationship. But then the more comfortable one is, the less one has a sense of being "alive". I've been told of dual relations that have broken down. From my reading, when you are with your dual you lose your awareness of them, I think because you fit each other perfectly.

One person told be the relationship became boring (INTj-ESFj). Another said that they were interested in ideas and their dual was not (another INTj-ESFj relationship). Another told me that the dual was not a "warm" person (ENFp-ISTp).

Please tell me your thoughts.

[snowyc]

Relationships in my opinion are a paradox. I think the reason Duality relations may or may not last like any other relationship is because of all the variables to take into account such as age, culture, experience of previous relationships, maturity etc.

Funny enough though, my first ever girl friend was an ESFj (dual) but of course, i did not know this at the time and knew absolutely nothing about type with no interest whatsoever. It didn't last although I do remember that we just got on and in my INTj naivity at the time I could not accept the reality of the relationship. I chose to end it for no good reason other then believing that I wasnt totally attracted. She was convinced that i was like no other guy she'd met which i didn't understand at the time since I was just being myself as it were.

I have a male ESFj best friend who is the only person I know who keeps me in check with reality. Being a mate, we have an indefinite friendship with little need to keep in constant touch. There is definately that special duality thing of feeling this inner peace because you know that you know someone who just connects with you in that duality way. Being in a "duality bubble" for over 5 years had a negative effect, even tho I was quite happy being around my dual socialising, i felt less or no need to socialise with anyone else, specifically, to really get to know them.

[stefana]

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[Creepy-pokeball]

I think duals are helpful. Theyre good allies in this crack pot we call life but I think there are many other factors in any relationship to consider. I do agree on the N/S issue. I cannot talk about abstract things without my dual's eyes glazing over and getting bored. I have to realllllllllly persuade him to listen. Getting him to even test was a trial and a half (I already knew the outcome tho lol... his was easy as cake).

So yeah.. pros and cons. There are factors like socioeconomics, past experience, learned function, physical, gender, abnormalties, etc etc etc... and lets not forget polotics and religion (oh my!).

I think the lesson here is that duals are the least likely to "go against one's grain" but you maybe you want a different type of wood to build your desk with. I prefer walnut!

[IcEPiCk]

Duality seems to be different between each of the types, therefore, it may be enjoyed in different ways and even at greater levels than others...


Perhaps subtypes also affects this.


Either way duality is ideal for marriage, intimate relations, and best friend situations.

[metaiwan]

Duals definately can get boring...I guess being alone with them isn't terribly exciting although it is terrible comfortable. But I would say your dual is a very very warm person to be around.

[IcEPiCk]

i am never bored with my dual because ISTPs are so much about stimulation, and its definitely stimulating...


I can see how some other dual situations might be boring... Again it depends on the types having the duality.

[Creepy-]

I think duals are helpful. Theyre good allies in this crack pot we call life but I think there are many other factors in any relationship to consider. I do agree on the N/S issue. I cannot talk about abstract things without my dual's eyes glazing over and getting bored.

I agree. My boyfriend was an ESTP (Ti subtype) and I am INFP (Ni subtype) so although our suptypes weren't compatible, I still felt very comfortable with the relationship although I defintiely agree with him getting bored with my abstractions and constant philosophisizing about things. And yes, other factors such as education, culture, etc. are equally important. I also agree with the original post, that things got "too comfortable", if that is even possible, because the reason we broke up is that we got bored of each other. I don't know if this is because he is ESTP, a type that probably is most prone to boredom in a relationship, or if that is a typicality of dual relations.

[IcEPiCk]

the 8 different dualities seem to be very different interactions... I find ESTPs may encounter their duals many times over as girlfriends or boyfriends and leave them because they get bored easily and its part of the ESTP maturing and realizing they must settle with one. It takes time.

Certain things such as life lessons sometimes need to line up...

The dual may not know what they have until its gone... It takes life lessons and maturity to hold on to what you got when its good I think.

No offence intended to anyone... I feel sometimes have to state that on forums these days, as people take the weirdest things personally.
I really am too tired to argue...


Take care.