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Thread: Rankings/Ratings of Intertype Relations

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    Default Rankings/Ratings of Intertype Relations

    Let's make an overall ranking of the relations. When seen from a romantically perspective.

    1) Duality
    2) Identical
    3) Mirror
    4) Activation
    5) Illusionary
    6) Semi-Duality
    7) Look a like
    8) Benefeciairy
    9) Comparitive
    10) Supervisee
    11) Benefactor
    12) Contrary
    13) Superego
    14) Quasi Identical
    15) Supervisor
    16) Conflict

    After reading your opinions, i've edited some. Identical has been described as second best in some socionics journals, but it seems that it's not how it is experienced...

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    IIRC, there was a thread in the General Discussion forum a while back about comparative, semi-dual, illusionary and look-a-like relations, about who preferred which ones. As far as I remember, accepting subtypes generally preferred comparative and illusionary relations, while producing subtypes generally preferred semi-dual and look-a-like relations.

    Also, I personally value mirror relations over activity, although that's probably coloured by my experience rather than a general preference.
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    It's funny that you mention this topic. I just made a list like this.

    1. Dual
    2. Activator
    3. Mirror / Semi-Dual
    5. Look-alike
    6. Super-Ego
    7. Illusionary
    8. Supervisee / Beneficiary
    10. Benefactor
    11. Quasi-Identical
    12. Comparative
    13. Contrary
    14. Supervisor
    15. Conflictor

    I'm not sure where to put Identical, my experience has varied from camaraderie to neutrality to disgust. Probably somewhere between Activator and Super-ego. I actually think Super-Ego at least seems good in many circumstances.
    At least it's better than Contrary, I think. There is that sense of complementation.

    I'm surprised that you put Supervisor (given that you mean the relation with one's own Supervisor) above Supervisee. Gilligan has pointed out, and I agree, that people are more attracted to their Supervisees.

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    O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush

    I'm surprised that you put Supervisor (given that you mean the relation with one's own Supervisor) above Supervisee. Gilligan has pointed out, and I agree, that people are more attracted to their Supervisees.
    Yes you're right, I made a mistake. I will correct it.

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    Thinking about it, my best friends aren't easy to type for me. For example, one of my dearest friends is ENFj but I also don't get along with ENFjs on the workplace so it's hard to rate. anyway...(only RL interaction counts here, i've had wonderful dual interactions online)

    1-mirror
    2-superego
    3-activity
    4-lookalike
    5-dual
    6-supervisor
    7-benefit

    I haven't experienced much other relations.

    But generally, I tend to get along best with EJs of both kinds, EP-Xe, IJ-Xe, IP-Xi

    worst with IJ-Xi (the worst totally), IP-Xe and EP-Xi
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    1. Duality
    2. Identical
    3. Mirror
    4. Activity
    5. Semi-dual
    6. Look-a-like
    7. Benefactor
    8. Supervisor
    9. Supervisee
    10. Beneficiary
    11. Superego
    12. Illusionary
    13. Quasi-identical
    14. Conflict

    I don't have enough experience with Contrary or Comparative relationships to really know where they fit.

    No, I didn't make a mistake placing Benefactor and Supervisor above Beneficiary and Supervisee. Any interpretations?

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    I've always thought of Quasi-Identical as the most neutral relationship.

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    يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا

    O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another.

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    1) Dual.
    2) Beneficiary.
    3) Benefactor.
    4) Identical.
    5) Illusionary.
    6) Semi-dual.
    7) Supervisee.
    8) Look-alike.

    The rest are negative I think.
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    Why is illusionary so low on most lists?

    IME:

    1) Dual
    2) Identical
    3) Activity/Mirror
    5) Illusionary
    6) Semi-dual
    7) Beneficiary
    8) Look-a-like
    9) Contrary
    10) Supervisee
    11) Comparative
    12) Super-ego
    13) Benefactor
    14) Quasi-Identical
    15) Supervisor
    16) Conflict
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    Default Re: Overall rating relations

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno
    Let's make an overall ranking of the relations.
    I don't know if such a list can be reliably produced but the idea is interesting. Once it is finished I will try to compare the people I know against it

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    Rating of what? How much you like it?

    Ok

    1. Lookalike
    2. I am benefactor
    3. Mirror
    4. I am supervisee
    5. Activity
    6. I am beneficiary


    ----------

    7. I am supervisor
    8. Dual
    9. Super Ego
    10. Identity
    11. Illusionary
    12. Semi Dual
    13. Quasi - Identity
    14. Contrary
    15. Comparative
    16. Conflicting

    of course this is a really different list as to who my favorite people are.

    Comparative and conflicting could be switched. I think conflictors can be interesting on some level, adding value to a relationship.

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    Okay, based on real-life interactions I've had SO FAR (meaning I haven't had that many close interactions with some of them, altering what may truly be the "best" or "worst") ... These are the only types I've had close associations with.

    VERY GOOD ONES:

    1. Activity
    2. Contrary (yep, I'm not kidding.)
    3. I am Benefactor
    4. Illusionary
    5. Identity

    GOOD ONES

    6. Duality
    7. Semi Duality
    8. Quasi Identical
    9. Comparative
    10. Look a Like

    BAD ONES

    11. I am Beneficiary
    12. I am Supervisor
    13. Superego

    N/A

    Conflicting and Being Supervised


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    off the top of my head...

    Dual
    Activity
    Identical
    Mirror
    Semi-dual
    Supervisee
    Contrary
    Benefactor
    Illusionary
    Comparative
    Quasi-identical
    Super Ego
    Look-a-like
    Supervisor
    Conflictor
    Beneficiary
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    Doesn't the preferred type of relationship at least somewhat depend on the context?

    Like, if it's work, I'd say lookalike, supervisee, i'm the beneficiary, maybe mirror

    If it's romantic, I'd say dual, illusionary

    If it's casual and fun, I'd say identity, activity, i'm the benefactor, semi-dual, super-ego

    If it's discussion and serious, I'd say mirror, comparative, contrary, quasi-identical

    If it's growth and development, i'd have to say conflictor, supervisor, with a touch of dual for support

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    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Doesn't the preferred type of relationship at least somewhat depend on the context?

    Like, if it's work, I'd say lookalike, supervisee, i'm the beneficiary, maybe mirror

    If it's romantic, I'd say dual, illusionary

    If it's casual and fun, I'd say identity, activity, i'm the benefactor, semi-dual, super-ego

    If it's discussion and serious, I'd say mirror, comparative, contrary, quasi-identical

    If it's growth and development, i'd have to say conflictor, supervisor, with a touch of dual for support
    Good point.

    Comparative, Dual, Semi-dual, and Identical in casual/party situations. Ti/Fe-dominant parties are awesome.

    Romantic: dual, activity, maybe semi-dual.
    Work: Quasi-identical, benefactor, and mirror
    etc.

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    يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا

    O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another.

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    From my personal vantage point...... in 'friendly relations'

    POSITIVE (these are relations that have supported stable friendships in my experience)
    ------------
    Dual(ESTp)
    Illusionary(ENTp)
    Beneficiary (INTj)
    Comparitive(INTp)
    Mirror(ENFj)
    Quasi-Identical(INFj)

    NEUTRAL (these are relations that have made me acquaintences, but rarely have these ever led to more)
    ----------------
    Activity(ISTj)
    Contrary(ENFp)
    Benefactor(ISFj)
    Supervisor(ENTj)
    Semi-dual(ESFp)
    Identical(INFp)
    Super-ego(ISTp)

    NEGATIVE (these are relations that I become uncomfortable with from the beginning)
    --------------
    Look-a-like(ISFp)
    Conflicting(ESTj)
    Supervision(ESFj)
    INFp-Ni

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    I think it has something to do with your own experiences with people of each representative type, like, for example, I listed comparative at the bottom, although I did have a good friend of mine that was an ENFp back when I was in high school. And for having ESFj’s at the bottom, I think it has to do with my personal experiences with them. Honestly though, listing them was somewhat tough because I have had good and bad relations with all of them.


    Beneficiary
    Quasi-Identical
    Look-a-like
    Illusionary
    Identical
    Super-ego
    Supervisor
    Contrary
    Mirror
    Dual
    Semi-dual
    Conflicting
    Activity
    Benefactor
    Comparative
    Supervision
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    This is how my relations usually are:

    Positive
    Mirror (ENFp)
    Supervisee (ENTp)
    Contrary (ENFj)
    Beneficiary (ISFp)
    Conflicting (ESTp)
    Comparative (ISFj)

    Neutral
    Quasi-Identical (INFp)
    Identical (INFj)
    Semi-dual (ENTj)
    Benefactor (INTp)
    Super-Ego (ISTj)
    Supervisor (ESFp)

    Negative
    Dual (ESTj)
    Activity (ISTp)
    Look-a-like (INTj)
    Illusionary (ESFj)

    I know the list looks funny, but that's how my interactions are like IRL. I guess I probably mistype some of my friends and acquaintances. :wink:

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    Hmm.. don't you think that you may be another type, Eunice? *coughINFpcough*


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    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Hmm.. don't you think that you may be another type, Eunice? *coughINFpcough*
    *clears throat*

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    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I know the list looks funny, but that's how my interactions are like IRL. I guess I probably mistype some of my friends and acquaintances. :wink:
    Lol. I'm with the people who say you are INFp. If you are INFj and you haven't mistyped those people then socionics can be immediately thrown away as useless For an INFp your list makes perfect sense.

    I have to add here that if I am INFp as claimed then my personal relationships don't make much more sense socionics-wise either so I'm in a similar position as you are.

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    .

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    Very Good on both sides

    Contrary(ENFp)

    Very Good on their side

    Dual(ESTp)
    Identical(INFp)
    Mirror(ENFj)
    Activity(ISTj)

    Good on both sides

    Look-a-like(ISFp)

    Good on my side

    Beneficiary (INTj)

    Neutral

    Comparitive(INTp)
    Illusionary(ENTp)
    Quasi-Identical(INFj)
    Benefactor(ISFj)
    Supervisor(ENTj)
    Semi-dual(ESFp)
    Super-ego(ISTp)

    Negative

    Conflicting(ESTj)
    Supervision(ESFj)

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    All I can say is that at the moment I'm in an Activity relationship. It's my only relationship I've ever been in, and I've been with her for over 3 years now.
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    My current boyfriend is ENTj and therefore my beneficiary (yes, I finally figured it out) and so far it has has worked out really well.

    It's hard to compare previous relationships with this one. Duality was less prone to misunderstandings and
    generally more comfortable. But not being able to read the other person like you can in a dual relationship
    can have its advantages - we are still, after 6 months of spending every free minute together, very intrigued
    with each other in this "wow, s/he is so awesome" glittery starry eyes kind of way. I did not really experience that
    with duality because that tends to skip this part because it's so comfortable right away. But with my dual, there were fewer misunderstandings. This relationship requires more communication to work, which is fine.

    Anyway, if I were to rate my serious long-term (romantic) rl relationships: beneficiary>dual>illusionary (although that one was the most "WOW" crazy in love one - but went down badly) >contrary

    As for friends (real life only), look-a-like, mirror, dual, activity are very good

    benefactor, beneficiary, super-ego, supervisee, semi-dual, supervisor, and illusionary are good

    Conflictor and contrary are difficult. Contrary is always very unstable with great times and bad times and lots of misunderstandings.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    Duality was less prone to misunderstandings and
    generally more comfortable. But not being able to read the other person like you can in a dual relationship
    can have its advantages - we are still, after 6 months of spending every free minute together, very intrigued
    with each other in this "wow, s/he is so awesome" glittery starry eyes kind of way. I did not really experience that
    with duality because that tends to skip this part because it's so comfortable right away. But with my dual, there were fewer misunderstandings.
    My experiences have also been that the puppy love/honey moon phase doesn't last as long in dual relationships. It doesn't need to. It wasn't as intense either... more of a safe, comfortable, "this is going work out extremely well" feeling. It's like when you're with your dual, you're confident that no matter what happens, you (plural) will be able to deal with it. In other relationships, I couldn't trust the "things really are going to be okay" feeling, so I made up for it with hanging on to my infatuation with the person. I understand the concept of a life long relationship now... I understand how it's possible to be so confident about your future with that person that you don't really even think about it, it just becomes a part of your world view and your identity (in a healthy way).

    My experiences about misunderstandings differ from yours though. I had fewer misunderstandings with my contrary. We understood each other extremely well. It sucks when what a person needs from you are your super ego functions and they don't appreciate your ego functions... can be really damaging to your sense of competency.

    I have had more "misunderstandings" with my dual than I have in other relationships, but it's because frustrations can actually surface, and then they're dealt with and things are even better. This allows you to understand yourself better and grow as a person and whatnot.

    Obviously there's a lot more to compatibility than socionic's type, but I really cannot say enough good about duality.
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    With misunderstandings I mean actual misunderstandings: I make a joke and he is not sure if I am actually joking (ENTjs can be slow that way). And vice versa, actually. With my dual, we teased each other and always knew it was teasing.

    I had fights with my dual because of that frustration thing you talk about, but they were not based on misunderstandings.

    Contrary is constant push and pull for me. It's stressful. But when it's good, it's great. But there is almost constant insecurity on both sides.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    With misunderstandings I mean actual misunderstandings: I make a joke and he is not sure if I am actually joking (ENTjs can be slow that way). And vice versa, actually. With my dual, we teased each other and always knew it was teasing.

    I had fights with my dual because of that frustration thing you talk about, but they were not based on misunderstandings.
    Yeah, that makes sense. I put "misunderstandings" in quotes in my post because they aren't actual misunderstandings... more like a lack of information? It's hard to describe. They're like, "So what's the problem?" when they recognize that you're not looking at something in a healthy way or not handling a situation as well as you could. Essentially it's because your dual is expecting you to use your ego functions, and if you've suppressed them due to past relationships or upbringing, it's difficult to reconcile with yourself sometimes, to let go of the "supposed to's" you've been taught and allow yourself to believe that it's okay to just be (as opposed to always trying to be something or another). Your dual recognizes when you're not being yourself and calls you out on it, and in doing so forces you to face issues that you've avoided for a long time.

    Contrary is constant push and pull for me. It's stressful. But when it's good, it's great. But there is almost constant insecurity on both sides.
    We didn't feel insecure about fidelity kinds of things, and we almost never fought, but both of us felt very neglected, and it literally took all of our energy just to keep the relationship together. It was like he was living his life and I was living mine, and we had to meet somewhere in the middle to spend time together, and any closeness we experienced was only in that meeting place.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Your dual recognizes when you're not being yourself and calls you out on it, and in doing so forces you to face issues that you've avoided for a long time.
    I agree with this. I think some of my conflict with my dual ex stemmed from that. Problem with ISTps is that they are clumsy and perhaps even insensitive when communicating this to you because of the Fe PoLR. This is where knowing about Socionics is really a blessing.

    Contrary is constant push and pull for me. It's stressful. But when it's good, it's great. But there is almost constant insecurity on both sides.
    I mean insecurity about motives and reasons behind behavior and statements, not so much fidelity. Overall, INFps tend to get too close too quickly and that makes me uncomfortable. I become more distant and they get irritated until it's resolved and so on.

    We didn't feel insecure about fidelity kinds of things, and we almost never fought, but both of us felt very neglected, and it literally took all of our energy just to keep the relationship together. It was like he was living his life and I was living mine, and we had to meet somewhere in the middle to spend time together, and any closeness we experienced was only in that meeting place.
    I think your ex was INTp, actually. He seems to have IP temperament and he certainly looks 100% INTp. But that's just me. :wink: But what you describe does not sound like contrary to me. Well, not like I have experienced it, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
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    I need an ESFp to test this whole "duality" thing out with.
    INTP/ILI(Ni) /5w4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    We didn't feel insecure about fidelity kinds of things, and we almost never fought, but both of us felt very neglected, and it literally took all of our energy just to keep the relationship together. It was like he was living his life and I was living mine, and we had to meet somewhere in the middle to spend time together, and any closeness we experienced was only in that meeting place.
    This describes the relationship I have with my comparative.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    Quote Originally Posted by KSpin
    I need an ESFp to test this whole "duality" thing out with.
    As I said elsewhere:

    at the end of the day it's two people having a relationship. That's it. It's comfortable and a good match, but it's not magic and not perfect because they are still two people with flaws, histories, moods, etc.
    :wink:

    But go for it, ESFps are awesome!
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    Kim, I think logical types in contrary relationships suffer differently than ethical types in contrary relationships because one wants more Fe, the other wants more Fi, and as a result they both feel neglected.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    We didn't feel insecure about fidelity kinds of things, and we almost never fought, but both of us felt very neglected, and it literally took all of our energy just to keep the relationship together. It was like he was living his life and I was living mine, and we had to meet somewhere in the middle to spend time together, and any closeness we experienced was only in that meeting place.
    This describes the relationship I have with my comparative.
    I think it probably describes pretty much any relationship where partners are not truly available to each other.
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    Hmm.. don't you think that you may be another type, Eunice? *coughINFpcough*
    *clears throat*
    Quote Originally Posted by XoX
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I know the list looks funny, but that's how my interactions are like IRL. I guess I probably mistype some of my friends and acquaintances. :wink:
    Lol. I'm with the people who say you are INFp. If you are INFj and you haven't mistyped those people then socionics can be immediately thrown away as useless For an INFp your list makes perfect sense.

    I have to add here that if I am INFp as claimed then my personal relationships don't make much more sense socionics-wise either so I'm in a similar position as you are.
    Really? I didn't think of that, but I guess I will keep INFp in mind. :wink:

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    It's not wise to base your type on intertype relations to a limited number of people who you may very well have mistyped... I think that activity and duality are rather telling (assuming you type those individuals correctly), but you can only know so many people of each type, so even if they're typed correctly they may not be a very good representation of that type due to non-socionics related factors.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim

    As I said elsewhere:

    at the end of the day it's two people having a relationship. That's it. It's comfortable and a good match, but it's not magic and not perfect because they are still two people with flaws, histories, moods, etc.
    :wink:
    i would say it can be magic, especially with corresponding subtypes, whatever that means.

    i've met different ESFP's with different levels of magic

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    I think your ex was INTp, actually. He seems to have IP temperament and he certainly looks 100% INTp. But that's just me. :wink: But what you describe does not sound like contrary to me. Well, not like I have experienced it, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
    Okay, I've thought about this a little. Of course it's possible for him to be mistyped, but if he is INTp, then I think it's very possible that UDP is as well. UDP reminds me very much of him. It would also mean that this is very wrong.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Okay, I've thought about this a little. Of course it's possible for him to be mistyped, but if he is INTp, then I think it's very possible that UDP is as well. UDP reminds me very much of him. It would also mean that this is very wrong.
    I think that description of Alpha does not describe Ti (and hence INTjs) as well as it could. The other elements are much more heavily emphasized. For instance:

    Quote Originally Posted by Rick
    They like to systematize knowledge and create new categories and speculative hypotheses
    That is a little abstract. I would say "They like to develop and discuss unique personal philosophies."

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    يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا

    O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another.

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    Both sound just like this guy.
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    Here is, what I believe to be, the theoretical list in decending order of intertype relation compatibility. In the real world, deviations from the list are probably due to other reasons such as different life goals, different cultural/personal values, different interests and values etc. rather than socionic type. With all of the 'noise' of the real world you may find that you prefer interacting with X who is your Look a like over Y who is your Semi-Dual. However in a perfect world where all other factors are held constant, you would prefer your Dual over your Identical, your Identical over your Mirror, your Mirror over your Acitvity, et al. - Well this is my theory anyway.


    1) Duality (ENFj)
    2) Identical (ISTj)
    3) Mirror (ESTp)
    4) Activation (INFp)

    5) Semi-Duality (ESFj)
    6) Comparative (INTj)
    7) Illusionary (ENTj)
    8) Look a like (ISFj)

    9) Beneficiary [Benefactor – ISFp]
    10) Supervision [Supervisor – ENTp]
    11) Beneficiary [Beneficiary – INTp]
    12) Supervision [Supervisee – ESFp]

    13) Superego (INFj)
    14) Contrary (ESTj)
    15) Quasi Identical (ISTp)
    16) Conflicting (ENFp)
    ISTj.

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