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Thread: Best compliment

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    Default Best compliment

    I think the way to compliment people's 6th function is by telling them that they respect their own hidden agenda in others.... foe example

    an ISFp should be told.... you are so easy to understand. And an ENTp should be told... You make me feel so loved.

    The reason seems to be that people give most what they value most. So an ENTp would think that being loved is the best thing someone could have, and if they give that to someone they want recognition for giving such a "hard to get" emotional feed.

    btw: I'm starting to think i'm INTj, cause people are telling me that I act liek many other INTj's and I'm starting to understand relational ethics pretty well.
    -Slava


    What a great replacement for a nany

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    an ISFp should be told.... you are so easy to understand
    I don't think easy to understand would be the best, but perhaps just knowing they are understood, a simple "I understand you" or "I think we understand eachother", or something like that.

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    What about... you are always so clear and easy to udnerstand.
    -Slava


    What a great replacement for a nany

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    I someone told me that I made them feel loved, it would make me feel so happy. I have never had anyone tell me that in my whole life ...

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    Thats why your duality accepts acts of kindness as a display of love ... even infp's accept labor as love, they notice those little things we do and it is enough. To them actions speak louder than words.
    -Slava


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    Quote Originally Posted by HarryBottom
    I don't think easy to understand would be the best, but perhaps just knowing they are understood, a simple "I understand you" or "I think we understand eachother", or something like that.
    How about, "You've got it! You're exactly right! Keep up the good work!"

    I think the best compliment for an INTp is to tell them that you love them. I find that someone who shows affection toward me is unbelievable and hard to understand for some reason. You know, people other than my mother or close relatives.

    Then again, perhaps it's not the best compliment. I don't know, it's hard to explain.
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

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    For the love thing, how about for extraverts, it's telling them you feel loved by them, and for introverts, it's telling them you love them.
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

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    Hehe that's an interesting symetry, ahh nature never ceases to amuse me ... the interesting thing is that FP people somehow know my childhood based on how I act, which really tells me that I was shaped, I've seen many identical twin pairs too and they act very different than the other and their eyes are different too. This encourages me that finding the shaping forces of people shouldn't be too hard if I can generalize them. Then we need to figure out why the unconcious functions are unconcious and when they are used and why they are used. Why does Te make Ti act arrogant and agressive? is it because it is a form of logic to both and it makes them feel half as smart accepting the existance of the other half? Does it take a chunck out of the ego? If we can figure all this out we can figure out what conciousness is, when we can strip away all the functions from the human soul within that is molded.

    It would be nice to design a model that applies to every type and shows the "force vectors" pointing out what the model a will look likewith diffewrent environmental and internal forces applied. Then showing how types interact and what forces they apply to each other and why they really don't get allong, rather than just accepting inhibitions of functions and specific relations.

    I bet all the answers lie in romance novels and stories about people, but ahhhhh, i'm not reading that. lol. Only techy books for now.
    -Slava


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    i had a conversation with an intp where i complemented his 6th function. That was one of the selling points for socionics being a better model because his friends had gotten into MB and were telling him stuff like "you're so smart" and such and he hated it. all i told him was that i thought in many ways intps loved people the best because they did it with childlike innocence.

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    How about, "You've got it! You're exactly right! Keep up the good work!"
    I would find that a very worthy compliment.

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    Imagine someone whos personality is so ballanced that there is no way to compliment them , no wthat would be weird as hell.
    -Slava


    What a great replacement for a nany

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    edited

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    elbow tchaikovsky freezer burn

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    edited

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    By the way the thing I was talking about before was regarding appreciating a type's effection rather than just compimenting them.
    -Slava


    What a great replacement for a nany

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    fds

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    Compliments put me on the spot and I hate them. Because I always feel like people expect me to return them and I'm such a negative person that it's hard for me to do that. I find it very disconcerting when anyone even family tells me that they love me because I feel very unlovable. haha

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    fsdf

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    i had a conversation with an intp where i complemented his 6th function. That was one of the selling points for socionics being a better model because his friends had gotten into MB and were telling him stuff like "you're so smart" and such and he hated it. all i told him was that i thought in many ways intps loved people the best because they did it with childlike innocence.

    Well, I really like being told I'm smart, and I am a thinking type.

    Laura

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    You would be amazed, Steve.

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    Imagine someone whos personality is so ballanced that there is no way to compliment them
    That happens when I'm obsessed with some idea and I'm sure about every detail about it and the consequences of accomplishing the work which must be something good for the masses.

    Otherwise the best compliment which I've recieved is that I'm a good organiser and leader which is rarely true

    "You've got it! You're exactly right! Keep up the good work!"
    That's what ESTps say regulary F*** coaches
    http://forum.socionix.com

    I don't see what's so important about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. It's just more people to declare war on.

    EVERYONE PLZ CONTINUE TO UPLOAD INFINITE AMOUNT OF PICS OF "CUTE" CATS AND PUPPIES. YOU KNOW WE GIVE A SHIT!!

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    Complimenting the PoLR is probably the best. If that is what you've all been saying to this point, then continue...
    thing.

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    Creepy-staralfur

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    I don't know about PoLR. I think that even compliments that hit the 4th function are taken suspiciously, and I think that instead of compliments, you should try to de-emphasize the importance of this function or mention it as minimally as possible so as not to make the individual feel psychologically inadequate. That's why duality works so well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by staralfur
    I don't know about PoLR. I think that even compliments that hit the 4th function are taken suspiciously, and I think that instead of compliments, you should try to de-emphasize the importance of this function or mention it as minimally as possible so as not to make the individual feel psychologically inadequate. That's why duality works so well.
    Exactly. The only two functions you should probably compliment are the 5th and 6th. Complimenting the PoLR is probably the WORST function to compliment. It draws unnessary attention to it and I have seen people get uncomfortable or annoyed when complimented there.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


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    Yeah people don't even wanna know that the reality which is interpretted by the fourth function exists! Having someone even confirm the existance of that playing field makes people upset and they start remembering their worste moments of life and feelings of loss and rape. So instead of complimenting a nerd about how he was able to avoid being bullied, why not compliment him on his new weapon he created , such as his muscles or new fighting ability.
    -Slava


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    lol I would have said how sad and sick it was of someone to bully him.

    How would one compliment my 4rth or 6th function?

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    4th function: "Ah, you finally dressed well today!"

    6th function: "I just love the way you control me and push me around!"

    Ok, not really. :wink:
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slava
    Yeah people don't even wanna know that the reality which is interpretted by the fourth function exists! Having someone even confirm the existance of that playing field makes people upset...
    yeah for some reason it bugged me when an esfp told me i was hawt

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    yeah for some reason it bugged me when an esfp told me i was hawt
    My INFj friend gets upset over things like that. He will deny that he is good-looking, no matter what people tell him. A girl or two in the past has told him he was ugly, even though everyone else thinks differently, so that really screwed up his image. Come to think of it, that may be the reason he always tries to dress "cool", be "cool", and do everything "cool".

    Quote Originally Posted by Sycophant
    You would be amazed, Steve.
    Indeed. I deny everyone who tells me that I'm "good" at something.

    How about complimenting the 5th function? When people tell me I'm good-looking (I think that happened once), that raises up my ego. And when people say I look funny, that unnerves me, but the I just deny it and lie to myself.

    Wait, I just had an idea...
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cone
    My INFj friend gets upset over things like that. He will deny that he is good-looking, no matter what people tell him. A girl or two in the past has told him he was ugly, even though everyone else thinks differently, so that really screwed up his image...
    yeah i am the same way. freakin' PoLR

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    yeah for some reason it bugged me when an esfp told me i was hawt
    In my experiences with ESFps have not been the greatest; there is a good chance the ESFp was not actually really being sincere, because they have been known to poke fun at people for their behaviour ...

    Forget what I am saying, I am stopping myself since I just realized that what I am saying only applies to ENTps, because this is a super-ego relationship issue and not something specific to one type.

    I am saying that because I once had an ESFp pretend to be interested in me in a way that was sort of mean. But like I said, I think it was just a super-ego relationship thing.

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    yeah i really don't know if she was or not and that is part of what disturbs me

  35. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cone

    Quote Originally Posted by Sycophant
    You would be amazed, Steve.
    Indeed. I deny everyone who tells me that I'm "good" at something.

    How about complimenting the 5th function? When people tell me I'm good-looking (I think that happened once), that raises up my ego. And when people say I look funny, that unnerves me, but the I just deny it and lie to myself.

    Wait, I just had an idea...
    I used to be please by that it lost it's effect because I hear it so often. Big ego? Nah.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sycophant
    I used to be please by that it lost it's effect because I hear it so often. Big ego? Nah.
    Lucky!
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

  37. #37

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    an ISFp should be told.... you are so easy to understand. And an ENTp should be told... You make me feel so loved.
    Ok extrapolating for the others:

    HA - you are so strong willed
    HA - you are so calm
    HA - you are so loveable
    HA - you see so many possibilities (?)
    HA - you are so foresighted
    HA - you are so organized and productive

    I guess the exact words would have to be adapted to the specific situation. It would be somewhat weird if you went up to a random ENFj and said, wow, you are so strong willed! lol

    Also I think we're more likely to believe a 6th function compliment than a 5th, since the 5th is what we clearly lack in ourselves and unconsciously expect from others.

    So what we actually believe (especially under stress):

    DS- I don't see any possibilities
    DS- I can't anticipate problems
    DS- I don't feel calm
    DS- I don't feel strong
    DS- I don't feel ethical
    DS- I am not emotionally appropriate
    DS- I am not organized and productive
    DS- I don't understand



    btw I think in an attempt to get more of the dual seeking function from the outside world, we sometimes act in a way that makes it seem even weaker than it is.

    So:
    DS- I don't see any possibilities // acts like they have no choice, no options, emphasizes their boring and unoriginal qualities
    DS- I can't anticipate problems // acts like they have plenty of time, and patience, emphasizes multiple possible outcomes
    DS- I don't feel calm // body becomes overactive and tense, reacts too strongly to any sensory pressure, eg. coldness
    DS- I don't feel strong // body becomes inert and vacant, reacts too weakly to any sensory pressure
    DS- I don't feel ethical // acts without conscience, ignores personal preferences and speeds up. demands order
    DS- I am not emotionally appropriate // hides true feelings, ignores the feelings of others, internal reasoning becomes overly rigid
    DS- I am not organized and productive // acts without logic, becomes overly emotional and slows down. demands sympathy
    DS- I don't understand // hides true reasoning, ignores the reasoning of others, external emotions become overly variable

    The dual should be able to recognize the above as a signal to act.
    Last edited by ConcreteButterfly; 03-28-2014 at 07:38 AM.

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