how come ixfps never apologize?

[Ms. Kensington]

Seems like it. Or, if they have to show gratitude it looks like its uncomfortable for them.

[vague]

I have not observed this and it doesn't seem like it would be a common problem considering Fe in the ego-block. If anything, I've observed the opposite. IXFps being overly apologetic or gracious in an exaggerated manner. Gratitude is not difficult for me to show. If someone does me a favor, I'll usually do them an even bigger one back. If I'm in the wrong I have no problem apologizing --although I won't apologize just because someone's feelings are hurt.

Is there a specific situation you have?

[implied]

haha vague! i was about to post the same thing (overly apologetic.)

we used to call zifty.com the ISFp food delivery service since if they mess up your order they apologize profusely for weeks and weeks with cards/gift certificates/everything.

[UDP]

*nods @ vague*

[eunice]

I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.

[eliphalet]

I really dont like the words "sorry", it might be my childishness I dunno, but I'll nudge or poke the person and make guilty faces, or just hang around until I'm forgiven.

Also, I don't like apologizing for petty things... but I've learned what's petty for me might be a big deal for someone else.

[UDP]

MBTI INTJs are said to be notoriously bad for thinking they are always right and not apologizing.
Until I had a semi-enlightening experience, I never apologized for anything.

[aestrivex]

I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.

experience with ESTjs leads me to largely disagree. ENXjs are probably a better category.

[raisonpure]

I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.

experience with ESTjs leads me to largely disagree. ENXjs are probably a better category.

In my experience,

ESTj -- very quick to realize errors and apologize of own volition, but through actions rather than words.
ENFj -- apologized because I was still mad the next day, and demanded an apology.
ENTj -- have never extracted an apology from this type.

[Gilly]

Not true at all. I've had two experiences to the contrary in the past week, and can say that it hasn't been the only time.

[Mea]

What? I don't know about you, but IME, the IXFps I know DO apologize.

[Exodus]

IME excess apologizing has more to do with valuing Fi.

The person I know who apologizes the most (my brother) is an INTp. He is of course unwilling to change his behavior, but will apologize by reflex.

[.thursday]

humility is not type related, imo

[Khamelion]

psssh!

"im sorry!" is something that just pops out of my mouth without me meaning it even! drives me crazy, it just comes out whenever i sense someone getting upset. depends on how frazzled i am actually. if im calm im alright.

i only APOLOGIZE, REALLY apologize, when i know ive done something wrong or whatever.


i hate apologizing at work ugh lol...most often its not my fault or i just fucked up and they should get over it...check your own damn food then...OH NOES IM GETTING GRUMPY ALREADY




i mainly have the uncontrollable urges to say sorry when someone is using Fe on me, sometimes Fi too.

and i get very uncomfortable when i have to apologize to people using Ti or Te on me


Se I just have to smile and they forgive me, lol. Si...I kind of just act sheepish and give them an apologetic look and they forgive me

[XoX]

I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.

well cracka seems to apologize every time he has been a bit too blunt and someone points it out to him (which is often, lol)

[FDG]

C'mon now. ESxps are the ones that never apologize.

[Ms. Kensington]

in my experience IxFps have visible difficulty apologizing. I do feel that ESTjs are the ones who over apologize.

My guess is that IxFps are so used to being taken for granted they feel like its unfair that they have to extend even more of themselves to apologize. Maybe they feel the burden of maintaining positive moods. This would be in keeping with the earlier observation that IxFps "ignore" someone if they are requiring too much attention in relation to a group. Social niceties are also supposed to be something they are good at, so it could be a bit of an ego blow to have someone else tell them to apologize. I feel slighted if someone tells me i wasnt thinking outside the box, for example.

Maybe I should clarify my post. I guess the instance when i've most seen this behavior is if someone sort of asks the IxFp to apologize. I suppose they do it often enough in social situations or faux pas

There isn't any one example, but i have two close INFp friends, and an ISFp in the family.

EDIT: maybe I just have difficulty seeing the im sorries as real?

[Khamelion]

seeing as everyone has had different experiences, im thinking it isn't type related...


like me, my sorries are based on stress most often

and my REAL sorries are decided with pride




but how are you expected to tell the difference yourself? how do you know if one means it or not?

right

[vague]

..

[Ms. Kensington]

ah, thanks vague.

[Blaze]

C'mon now. ESxps are the ones that never apologize.

you got that right partner. heh.

[ScanDave]

In my experience with both ISFp and INFp they seem to apologize only when they feel they have offended someone or gone too far based on cues from the other person. I have good a long time friend that is INFp, and I dated another INFp. I also have a close friendship with an ISFp.

The ISFp I know will apologize for things that happen to me in the Fi realm as if she is feeling guilty for not being around to shield it from me. Could just be her being nice, or the caregiver thing. All I know is ISFp's know how to sound concerned while wanting to do something about it to make it better. Also, when she thinks her joke has gone too far or sounded too aggressive, she will usually apologize right away. I usually tell her to stop apologizing so much, especially when she agreed to hang out some time during the week and is unable to fill the obligation. Does not like possible friction.

INFp is a bit more stubborn, and less likely to apologize, because if something led them to act or do something it is justified from all things that happend in the past and will happen. Annoys the hell out of me. I see it aas apologizing for things that do not require one, and not for the things they should. But they will have all their reasons why they choose that way, which makes no logical sense. Or worse yet say something that does not answer the question at all but in their mind they did. This when is when the illusionary relationships shows its ugly head because it becomes obvious (usually to the INFp first since ENTp likes a good arguement) these two types should not be talking to each other so much, and its best to drop it and go do something. They can't give each other what they seek. The "I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is how it is and will be." Umm things can change. Then the "I'm sorry that happen to you, everything will get better for you like it always does. You'll see." What? I'm fully aware of that, stop telling me something I already know.

I have also noted ISFp can have a hard time admitting they are wrong when it comes to themselves. Yes, it seems this way. But, really they do not like to think about the choices they are making because unpleasent feelings will surface if there is a possible bad consequence. I've seen an "I'm comfortable in the choice I am making because I'm satified and pleased with how I feel about it now" attitude adopted. No kidding, the ISFp I know actually used all those words in repsonse to a possible bad consequence to an action of hers. She assured me if things get out of hand and become a problem she will put an end to it. They value their personal responsibilities first and foremost. ISFp will not cater to any demands of their personal time even if they promised and it did not work out as planned. No apologies there, ISFp "lazy" time comes first.

[cracka]

I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.

well cracka seems to apologize every time he has been a bit too blunt and someone points it out to him (which is often, lol)

hahaha, it's not THAT often is it? I usually include a type of apology in some things that I say here when I figure someone will take it the wrong way, but I don't usually come back and say, well sorry I said what I thought of ________, at least, I don't think I do that very often.

I do tend to apologize any time I feel I've said something and another person took it the wrong way than how I wanted them to take it, even if they actually don't take it the wrong way and I just think they did.