Results 1 to 23 of 23

Thread: how come ixfps never apologize?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    USA.
    TIM
    INTj
    Posts
    4,497
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default how come ixfps never apologize?

    Seems like it. Or, if they have to show gratitude it looks like its uncomfortable for them.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    694
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I have not observed this and it doesn't seem like it would be a common problem considering Fe in the ego-block. If anything, I've observed the opposite. IXFps being overly apologetic or gracious in an exaggerated manner. Gratitude is not difficult for me to show. If someone does me a favor, I'll usually do them an even bigger one back. If I'm in the wrong I have no problem apologizing --although I won't apologize just because someone's feelings are hurt.

    Is there a specific situation you have?
    IEI subtype

  3. #3
    implied's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    7,750
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    haha vague! i was about to post the same thing (overly apologetic.)

    we used to call zifty.com the ISFp food delivery service since if they mess up your order they apologize profusely for weeks and weeks with cards/gift certificates/everything.
    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

  4. #4
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    *nods @ vague*
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  5. #5
    eunice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    TIM
    Ne-INFj
    Posts
    2,955
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.

  6. #6
    eliphalet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    77
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I really dont like the words "sorry", it might be my childishness I dunno, but I'll nudge or poke the person and make guilty faces, or just hang around until I'm forgiven.

    Also, I don't like apologizing for petty things... but I've learned what's petty for me might be a big deal for someone else.
    INFp

  7. #7
    UDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    East Coast West Coast Dirty South
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    14,826
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    MBTI INTJs are said to be notoriously bad for thinking they are always right and not apologizing.
    Until I had a semi-enlightening experience, I never apologized for anything.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    8,578
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.
    experience with ESTjs leads me to largely disagree. ENXjs are probably a better category.

  9. #9
    le petit prince raisonpure's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    437
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by niffweed17
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.
    experience with ESTjs leads me to largely disagree. ENXjs are probably a better category.
    In my experience,

    ESTj -- very quick to realize errors and apologize of own volition, but through actions rather than words.
    ENFj -- apologized because I was still mad the next day, and demanded an apology.
    ENTj -- have never extracted an apology from this type.
    “I think, therefore I'll think" - Ayn Rand (ESTp, UR GUARDIAN ANGEL)

  10. #10
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,757
    Mentioned
    91 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Not true at all. I've had two experiences to the contrary in the past week, and can say that it hasn't been the only time.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    2,916
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    What? I don't know about you, but IME, the IXFps I know DO apologize.
    INTp
    sx/sp

  12. #12
    Don't forget the the thehotelambush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    6,617
    Mentioned
    158 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    IME excess apologizing has more to do with valuing Fi.

    The person I know who apologizes the most (my brother) is an INTp. He is of course unwilling to change his behavior, but will apologize by reflex.

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    320
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    humility is not type related, imo
    THE BEARD HEARD HIS MOVEMENT AND MADE AN ATTACK RUN BUT DID NOT ACTUALLY ATTACK HIM

    viva palestina

  14. #14
    Khamelion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    TIM
    SEE-Fi 6w7 sx/so
    Posts
    3,828
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    psssh!

    "im sorry!" is something that just pops out of my mouth without me meaning it even! drives me crazy, it just comes out whenever i sense someone getting upset. depends on how frazzled i am actually. if im calm im alright.

    i only APOLOGIZE, REALLY apologize, when i know ive done something wrong or whatever.


    i hate apologizing at work ugh lol...most often its not my fault or i just fucked up and they should get over it...check your own damn food then...OH NOES IM GETTING GRUMPY ALREADY




    i mainly have the uncontrollable urges to say sorry when someone is using Fe on me, sometimes Fi too.

    and i get very uncomfortable when i have to apologize to people using Ti or Te on me


    Se I just have to smile and they forgive me, lol. Si...I kind of just act sheepish and give them an apologetic look and they forgive me
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

  15. #15
    XoX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    4,407
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.
    well cracka seems to apologize every time he has been a bit too blunt and someone points it out to him (which is often, lol)

  16. #16
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Freiburg im Breisgau
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    15,631
    Mentioned
    157 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    C'mon now. ESxps are the ones that never apologize.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  17. #17

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    USA.
    TIM
    INTj
    Posts
    4,497
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    in my experience IxFps have visible difficulty apologizing. I do feel that ESTjs are the ones who over apologize.

    My guess is that IxFps are so used to being taken for granted they feel like its unfair that they have to extend even more of themselves to apologize. Maybe they feel the burden of maintaining positive moods. This would be in keeping with the earlier observation that IxFps "ignore" someone if they are requiring too much attention in relation to a group. Social niceties are also supposed to be something they are good at, so it could be a bit of an ego blow to have someone else tell them to apologize. I feel slighted if someone tells me i wasnt thinking outside the box, for example.

    Maybe I should clarify my post. I guess the instance when i've most seen this behavior is if someone sort of asks the IxFp to apologize. I suppose they do it often enough in social situations or faux pas

    There isn't any one example, but i have two close INFp friends, and an ISFp in the family.

    EDIT: maybe I just have difficulty seeing the im sorries as real?

  18. #18
    Khamelion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    TIM
    SEE-Fi 6w7 sx/so
    Posts
    3,828
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    seeing as everyone has had different experiences, im thinking it isn't type related...


    like me, my sorries are based on stress most often

    and my REAL sorries are decided with pride




    but how are you expected to tell the difference yourself? how do you know if one means it or not?

    right
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

  19. #19

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    694
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    ..
    IEI subtype

  20. #20

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    USA.
    TIM
    INTj
    Posts
    4,497
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    ah, thanks vague.

  21. #21
    Blaze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    5,725
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    C'mon now. ESxps are the ones that never apologize.
    you got that right partner. heh.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

  22. #22

    Default

    In my experience with both ISFp and INFp they seem to apologize only when they feel they have offended someone or gone too far based on cues from the other person. I have good a long time friend that is INFp, and I dated another INFp. I also have a close friendship with an ISFp.

    The ISFp I know will apologize for things that happen to me in the Fi realm as if she is feeling guilty for not being around to shield it from me. Could just be her being nice, or the caregiver thing. All I know is ISFp's know how to sound concerned while wanting to do something about it to make it better. Also, when she thinks her joke has gone too far or sounded too aggressive, she will usually apologize right away. I usually tell her to stop apologizing so much, especially when she agreed to hang out some time during the week and is unable to fill the obligation. Does not like possible friction.

    INFp is a bit more stubborn, and less likely to apologize, because if something led them to act or do something it is justified from all things that happend in the past and will happen. Annoys the hell out of me. I see it aas apologizing for things that do not require one, and not for the things they should. But they will have all their reasons why they choose that way, which makes no logical sense. Or worse yet say something that does not answer the question at all but in their mind they did. This when is when the illusionary relationships shows its ugly head because it becomes obvious (usually to the INFp first since ENTp likes a good arguement) these two types should not be talking to each other so much, and its best to drop it and go do something. They can't give each other what they seek. The "I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is how it is and will be." Umm things can change. Then the "I'm sorry that happen to you, everything will get better for you like it always does. You'll see." What? I'm fully aware of that, stop telling me something I already know.

    I have also noted ISFp can have a hard time admitting they are wrong when it comes to themselves. Yes, it seems this way. But, really they do not like to think about the choices they are making because unpleasent feelings will surface if there is a possible bad consequence. I've seen an "I'm comfortable in the choice I am making because I'm satified and pleased with how I feel about it now" attitude adopted. No kidding, the ISFp I know actually used all those words in repsonse to a possible bad consequence to an action of hers. She assured me if things get out of hand and become a problem she will put an end to it. They value their personal responsibilities first and foremost. ISFp will not cater to any demands of their personal time even if they promised and it did not work out as planned. No apologies there, ISFp "lazy" time comes first.
    ILE

  23. #23

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    5,101
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by XoX
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I think EXTjs are more likely to never apologize.
    well cracka seems to apologize every time he has been a bit too blunt and someone points it out to him (which is often, lol)
    hahaha, it's not THAT often is it? I usually include a type of apology in some things that I say here when I figure someone will take it the wrong way, but I don't usually come back and say, well sorry I said what I thought of ________, at least, I don't think I do that very often.

    I do tend to apologize any time I feel I've said something and another person took it the wrong way than how I wanted them to take it, even if they actually don't take it the wrong way and I just think they did.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •