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Thread: Benefit relations: so this is how my beneficiary sees me

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    Default Benefit relations: so this is how my beneficiary sees me

    I was having a conversation with an ISFp friend of ten years (whom I had mentioned before under "What's My Type?" a while ago) while in the train and we came to the topic about our impressions of each other. She sees me as someone knowledgeable and has learned alot from me. However, she said something later about my voice which made me surprised. She commented about my voice having a lack of inflection (unlike , I think), but not monotonous and devoid of feelings. She also mentioned that I sounded "intimidating" and "angry" when I speak. Even my ESTp brother mentioned the last point to me before. For example, even when I talk about happy events, I sounded aggressive. So when I asked her to give me a real life example of how I presented myself, she actually said that I talk like a guy, just that I don't have a man's voice. Lastly, she talked about how different we are. She said that I had a very strong personality and I needed someone who is similarly strong, assertive and intelligent to match me.

    All I can say is I'm surprised that she didn't seem to see me as an INFj at all, based on what she mentioned about me. It's like, she's intimidated by me, but she still enjoys my company? This is so weird.

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    You don't come across this way on the forum, at all.

    Tell your bro he's a pussy.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    You don't come across this way on the forum, at all.

    Tell your bro he's a pussy.
    LOL

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    You don't come across this way on the forum, at all.

    Tell your bro he's a pussy.
    He isn't really intimidated by me. He's actually more irritated 'cos to him, when I felt overwhelmed and talked excitedly about happy stuff, he said that I sounded aggressive, especially for a girl. But I guessed he has gradually gotten used to it all these years.

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    The girls I associate with that kind of behaviour are ESFjs, ime.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    The girls I associate with that kind of behaviour are ESFjs, ime.
    yeah, i was about to say. sounding angry and negative and overbearing is totally .

    whenever my mom did this when i was little i would completely freak out and just get more irritable.
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    The girls I associate with that kind of behaviour are ESFjs, ime.
    yeah, i was about to say. sounding angry and negative and overbearing is totally .

    whenever my mom did this when i was little i would completely freak out and just get more irritable.
    I didn't really have "Negative" in mind, more "aggressive"
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Creepy-Diana

    Default Re: So this is how my beneficiary sees me.

    .

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    Default Re: So this is how my beneficiary sees me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    She commented about my voice having a lack of inflection (unlike , I think), but not monotonous and devoid of feelings.
    Like a newscaster maybe? I'm trying to picture how that would sound. (ha, as well as you can picture a sound anyway )
    I asked her before. It seems like she can't pinpoint to any females who talk in the same way as me. I remembered her saying that I sounded as if I'm adament in trying to put my point across and make sure that the receiving party understood exactly what I'm talking about. She said that I have a confident voice and sounded as if I know where I am going. And at times I sounded worried.

    This is so funny. I don't think I'm exactly such a person. But I guess that's how my beneficiary sees me. It makes me feel stressed out sometimes 'cos she made me sound like such a strong and assertive person even though I'm not. It also makes me realized that my beneficiary is the last person I will seek advice from. Whenever I told her my problems, she just listened to me but didn't advise me 'cos she just sees me as someone strong with no need for anyone's help even though I really need some advice. It's really irritating that besides her, others see me as someone independent as well. When I really need their help, they don't think I need any at all. To them, I seem so sure of myself.

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    Default Re: So this is how my beneficiary sees me.

    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    She commented about my voice having a lack of inflection (unlike , I think), but not monotonous and devoid of feelings.
    Like a newscaster maybe? I'm trying to picture how that would sound. (ha, as well as you can picture a sound anyway )
    I asked her before. It seems like she can't pinpoint to any females who talk in the same way as me. I remembered her saying that I sounded as if I'm adament in trying to put my point across and make sure that the receiving party understood exactly what I'm talking about. She said that I have a confident voice and sounded as if I know where I am going. And at times I sounded worried.

    This is so funny. I don't think I'm exactly such a person. But I guess that's how my beneficiary sees me. It makes me feel stressed out sometimes 'cos she made me sound like such a strong and assertive person even though I'm not. It also makes me realized that my beneficiary is the last person I will seek advice from. Whenever I told her my problems, she just listened to me but didn't advise me 'cos she just sees me as someone strong with no need for anyone's help even though I really need some advice. It's really irritating that besides her, others see me as someone independent as well. When I really need their help, they don't think I need any at all. To them, I seem so sure of myself.
    Sure only your beneficiary thinks of you that way?
    I've have my contraries, semi-duals and look-a-likes say almost similar things to me.

    My beneficiaries tend to think i'm lazy.
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    Unfortunately I haven't really had a lot of conversations with my beneficiary. The one that I have talked to has told me that I am very quiet (as many people do), and they also said that I made them wonder, but in a "good" way. Of course I didn't really know what to make of that, heh.

    It was actually my Benefactor who would make the most comments on the way I talked, seeing as she seemed to find it very humorous. She was convinced that I had an British accent, and whenever she mimicked me (which she would do quite often) she would talk with this really funny, worried, and dainty sounding British accent.
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    My beneficiary is my mom . . . Hmm she thinks I'm "mysterious" which has always seemed strange to me. But I don't talk to her that much because she's always giving me advice I don't want and then getting offended when I don't follow it. My benefactor (ESFj) thinks I'm lazy. My mom seems OK with my laziness. As do other ENTjs from what I can see.
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    I didn't have much interactions with my benefactor (INTp). An INTp acquaintance once told me that I'm a kind and deep person. However, he also mentioned that I'm illogical and weak in understanding technical stuff.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    My beneficiary is my mom . . . Hmm she thinks I'm "mysterious" which has always seemed strange to me. But I don't talk to her that much because she's always giving me advice I don't want and then getting offended when I don't follow it. My benefactor (ESFj) thinks I'm lazy. My mom seems OK with my laziness. As do other ENTjs from what I can see.
    O. I got it mixed up. My benefactor thinks i'm lazy.
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    I feel as though my benefactor will never concider me equal to them.



    This annoys me when I dwell on it.
    SEE Unknown Subtype
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    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clover
    I feel as though my benefactor will never concider me equal to them.



    This annoys me when I dwell on it.
    perfectly said. i feel the same way.

    why then does rick say relations of benefit are good ones, i wonder?

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    One of my best friends is an ENTj, hes a great guy. We have our differences, but he definately enjoys my Fi. In fact lately when we are playing pool, say if i play a good game he is like "Look at this magic man etc" saying all these compliments. Even though im probablly playing a good game hes normally far better than me. I dont like it too much.

    I agree with what clover said about Benefactors. Out of the 16 types, an ESFj is the only type im yet to identify. I hate to feel like anyone looks down on me or has any power over me. It just cannot happen in my relations so maybe i have tried to ignore them? INTj's as my supervisors i dont actually find that bad they seem nice.

    The difference between my supervisor and my benefactor, is even though INTj's generally have the upper hand with logic and thinking, they are often quirky so that doesn't intimidate me. ESFj's seem like they are organised and good with people also extraverted, i see less holes in there defense.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by Clover
    I feel as though my benefactor will never concider me equal to them.



    This annoys me when I dwell on it.
    perfectly said. i feel the same way.

    why then does rick say relations of benefit are good ones, i wonder?
    I don't remember saying this. Even at their best -- when partners have shared interests and respect each other -- there's a strong sense of instability in the relationship. You might think that everything is great judging by the other person's behavior, only to have them snap and tell or do something that really upsets you. And then there's the issue of the person "on top" unconsciously perceiving the other person as an "assistant" or something like that.

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    People think that all EIIs are weak pussies. They aren't. My EII English professor is one of the most intellectually intimidating people I've ever met in my life, and it's not just his knowledge: he's rather assertive and has quite the presence in the classroom.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by Clover
    I feel as though my benefactor will never concider me equal to them.



    This annoys me when I dwell on it.
    perfectly said. i feel the same way.

    why then does rick say relations of benefit are good ones, i wonder?
    I think Gilligan mentioned that they were supposedly common among married couples.

    I don't see it really.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick
    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by Clover
    I feel as though my benefactor will never concider me equal to them.



    This annoys me when I dwell on it.
    perfectly said. i feel the same way.

    why then does rick say relations of benefit are good ones, i wonder?
    I don't remember saying this. Even at their best -- when partners have shared interests and respect each other -- there's a strong sense of instability in the relationship. You might think that everything is great judging by the other person's behavior, only to have them snap and tell or do something that really upsets you. And then there's the issue of the person "on top" unconsciously perceiving the other person as an "assistant" or something like that.
    sorry if i misquote you...i thought i remembered your site listing the benefit transmitter as being a more positive relation for the beneficiary?

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamond8
    Quote Originally Posted by Clover
    I feel as though my benefactor will never concider me equal to them.



    This annoys me when I dwell on it.
    perfectly said. i feel the same way.

    why then does rick say relations of benefit are good ones, i wonder?

    Well you learn things, A LOT of things. From both angles really, but the beneficiaries pretty strong.
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    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

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    Default Re: So this is how my beneficiary sees me.

    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I was having a conversation with an ISFp friend of ten years (whom I had mentioned before under "What's My Type?" a while ago) while in the train and we came to the topic about our impressions of each other. She sees me as someone knowledgeable and has learned alot from me. However, she said something later about my voice which made me surprised. She commented about my voice having a lack of inflection (unlike , I think), but not monotonous and devoid of feelings. She also mentioned that I sounded "intimidating" and "angry" when I speak. Even my ESTp brother mentioned the last point to me before. For example, even when I talk about happy events, I sounded aggressive. So when I asked her to give me a real life example of how I presented myself, she actually said that I talk like a guy, just that I don't have a man's voice. Lastly, she talked about how different we are. She said that I had a very strong personality and I needed someone who is similarly strong, assertive and intelligent to match me.

    All I can say is I'm surprised that she didn't seem to see me as an INFj at all, based on what she mentioned about me. It's like, she's intimidated by me, but she still enjoys my company? This is so weird.
    For starters, if that avatar is indeed your pic, you sure don't look like an INFj. You might be one of those folks for whom the tests don't work at all.

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    Default Re: So this is how my beneficiary sees me.

    Quote Originally Posted by astralsilky
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    I was having a conversation with an ISFp friend of ten years (whom I had mentioned before under "What's My Type?" a while ago) while in the train and we came to the topic about our impressions of each other. She sees me as someone knowledgeable and has learned alot from me. However, she said something later about my voice which made me surprised. She commented about my voice having a lack of inflection (unlike , I think), but not monotonous and devoid of feelings. She also mentioned that I sounded "intimidating" and "angry" when I speak. Even my ESTp brother mentioned the last point to me before. For example, even when I talk about happy events, I sounded aggressive. So when I asked her to give me a real life example of how I presented myself, she actually said that I talk like a guy, just that I don't have a man's voice. Lastly, she talked about how different we are. She said that I had a very strong personality and I needed someone who is similarly strong, assertive and intelligent to match me.

    All I can say is I'm surprised that she didn't seem to see me as an INFj at all, based on what she mentioned about me. It's like, she's intimidated by me, but she still enjoys my company? This is so weird.
    For starters, if that avatar is indeed your pic, you sure don't look like an INFj. You might be one of those folks for whom the tests don't work at all.
    That's not her. She's not the girl in her current avatar
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    Who is it?

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    Who is it?
    huh? LOL I have no idea.
    But eunice posted her pictures a few times. And recently, a video for that video thread. And her avatar doesn't look anything like her. = =
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    I thought it looked like it could have been her... but then what do I know?

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    Eww no, eunice is much prettier.

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    I think the girl in her avatar is pretty

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    The girl in my avatar is actually Michelle from Survivor:Fiji.

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    And now it's Handsome Dan.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    And now it's Handsome Dan.
    You have heard of him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
    I think the girl in her avatar is pretty
    Yeah, that was just a bad picture.

    eunice, I watched that video of her - she is definitely ESFj. Looking back at the Survivor thread I see you reached the same (well, almost) conclusion. Awesome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    eunice, I watched that video of her - she is definitely ESFj. Looking back at the Survivor thread I see you reached the same (well, almost) conclusion. Awesome.
    She's definitely Alpha SF, but I thought she VI-ed as SEI, specifically SEI Fe subtype. SEIs (rather than ESEs) would describe themselves as "cute, bubbly, energetic and fiercely competitive". Types under the SP temperament are generally considered the most competitive as compared to the other temperaments. Based on the video of her interview which I had posted under the Survivor thread, her individualistic and unconventional fashion sense and dreadlocks are what I considered unlikely to be prototypical of ESEs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    eunice, I watched that video of her - she is definitely ESFj. Looking back at the Survivor thread I see you reached the same (well, almost) conclusion. Awesome.
    She's definitely Alpha SF, but I thought she VI-ed as SEI, specifically SEI Fe subtype. SEIs (rather than ESEs) would describe themselves as "cute, bubbly, energetic and fiercely competitive". Types under the SP temperament are generally considered the most competitive as compared to the other temperaments. Based on the video of her interview which I had posted under the Survivor thread, her individualistic and unconventional fashion sense and dreadlocks are what I considered unlikely to be prototypical of ESEs.
    Both ESFj-Si's and ISFp-Fe's can be very "bubbly". Competitiveness - don't think it makes much of a difference, but I think Ejs (and even rationals in general) are more likely to be competitive than Ips.

    She thinks a positive attitude will keep you smiling through anything.
    This also points, however slightly, to ESFj. She constantly emphasizes her "energy" and positive attitude, something ISFps have more trouble maintaining.

    In both videos she has the ESFj way of speaking "as if to a small child", and seems almost artificially happy at times. Also, the ear-to-ear smile is much more characteristic of ESFjs than ISFps. She constantly emphasizes her strength in Fe ("putting a filter on what I want to reveal") and Fi, as opposed to Si. The only major reference to Si is the part about being outdoors, and being laid-back.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    In both videos she has the ESFj way of speaking "as if to a small child", and seems almost artificially happy at times. Also, the ear-to-ear smile is much more characteristic of ESFjs than ISFps. She constantly emphasizes her strength in Fe ("putting a filter on what I want to reveal") and Fi, as opposed to Si. The only major reference to Si is the part about being outdoors, and being laid-back.
    No wonder INTps and ESFjs are conflictors. I have heard of INTps criticizing about such qualities of ESFjs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by UDP III
    And now it's Handsome Dan.
    You have heard of him?
    Handsome Dans I know of:

    1 - The radio show host in Wayne's World (1, I believe)
    2 - The brand name of hair styling cream that is used in "O'Brother, where art thou?", even though it is really "Dapper Dan"
    3 - http://www.answers.com/main/ntquery?...e%20Dan&gwp=16

    No idea who that man actually was.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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