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Thread: IEI-SLI Super-ego Relations (INFp and ISTp)

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    Default IEI-SLI Super-ego Relations (INFp and ISTp)

    So how is this relationship?
    ...yes I know super-ego but Iím curious about rl examples.
    9w1

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    jessica129's Avatar
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    I believe my last relationship was with an infp. A highly insecure one. It was entirely too demanding for me. Things started out good but the more i got to know him, he was too controlling, jealous and insecure. I couldn't have any outside interaction or he'd cut off all contact with me for days and even weeks. Silent treatment to the extreme. He always accused me of being cold and not tending to his feelings enough. Frankly, i felt like his mother. I always had to reassure him. I'm not sure if all infp's are that insecure, but i couldn't handle it. I ended up cheating on him and that was that. Entirely TOO much drama. I always felt judged by him for some reason. When things first started, I thought I had everything in common with him..more in common with most others I've met but that quickly changed. I never really felt close to him. Things got boring fast. Wouldn't do it again.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    I believe my last relationship was with an infp. A highly insecure one. It was entirely too demanding for me. Things started out good but the more i got to know him, he was too controlling, jealous and insecure. I couldn't have any outside interaction or he'd cut off all contact with me for days and even weeks. Silent treatment to the extreme. He always accused me of being cold and not tending to his feelings enough. Frankly, i felt like his mother. I always had to reassure him. I'm not sure if all infp's are that insecure, but i couldn't handle it. I ended up cheating on him and that was that. Entirely TOO much drama. I always felt judged by him for some reason. When things first started, I thought I had everything in common with him..more in common with most others I've met but that quickly changed. I never really felt close to him. Things got boring fast. Wouldn't do it again.
    you got one that definitely ended up developmentally retarded. i'd imagine most infps that have shitty childhoods end up similarly unless they're medicated. you should have bitch-slapped him a couple times, he probably would have liked it and maybe it would have led to interesting things, LOL

    i've never been in a relationship with istps but I have a couple as acquaintences and we seem to enjoy each other's company in groups. one -on-one sometimes it's awkward unless we have something we can do together and focus one i.e. video game
    INFp-Ni

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    jessica129's Avatar
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    Oh he was medicated and was still the most narcissistic screwed up person i've probobly ever met. The bitch slapping was tempting but he probobly would have went into hiding for months. Strange person he was. Not saying all infps are that way...I think he was "special".

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Oh he was medicated and was still the most narcissistic screwed up person i've probobly ever met. The bitch slapping was tempting but he probobly would have went into hiding for months. Strange person he was. Not saying all infps are that way...I think he was "special".
    no i totally see where you're coming from. if my ENTp friend didn't socialize me in high school i probly would have ended up the same way

    have you ever heard of those flagellants from midieval times that spent their lives walking from town to town whipping themselves? lol those were probably mostly infps
    INFp-Ni

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    ^ above post

    But yeah... never been in a relship with an ISTp or know any ISTp males but the ISTp female I know... we hate eachother basically... enough said.

    Superego = not great.


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    i think the majority of my boyfriends have been istp


    3/5 anyways

    i like um for the most part obviously...im not sure what makes us not work as a couple...but most of them had low self esteem and needed me to have high self esteem, but i was only 15-16...lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by misutii
    i've never been in a relationship with istps but I have a couple as acquaintences and we seem to enjoy each other's company in groups. one -on-one sometimes it's awkward unless we have something we can do together and focus one i.e. video game
    Hmmm, yea I can see that.

    Quote Originally Posted by ScarlettLux
    But yeah... never been in a relship with an ISTp or know any ISTp males but the ISTp female I know... we hate eachother basically... enough said.

    Superego = not great.



    Thanks guys

    ...erm, anyone else?
    How about parent-child? or coworkers/boss-employee? or any other relationship really...
    9w1

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    Err. My boyfriend is ISTp. And a friend of ours is INFp.
    The INFp is closer to me, and often complains about how cold & emotionless my boyfriend is.
    They're very quiet around each other.

    Edit: O. And I remember once, my INFp friend got really pissed off with my boyfriend because he thinks that my boyfriend is too cold & uncaring toward me. He even said he felt like beating my bf up?
    I don't think all INFps view ISTps this way though.

    Edit: Let me correct that. My INFp friend thinks my ISTp bf is using me. My bf thinks my INFp friend over-sensitive and an emotional wreck. No idea why they seem to think of each other that way. The relationship between them seems kinda strained.
    Not very obvious, but I can see that.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    Quote Originally Posted by misutii
    you should have bitch-slapped him a couple times, he probably would have liked it and maybe it would have led to interesting things.
    No you silly, those are the mazochistic INFjs you are talking about, not INFps

    lol
    INTJ [mbti]
    INTp [socionics]

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    My SLI ex-wife has two younger sisters. The three of them grew up together in a home with an LSE father and an IEI mother, where the father was either absent or hyper-critical and hostile and the mother was either in fantasyland or sleeping and essentially gave up on parenting, so the kids formed a tight little circle to survive, like abandoned kittens. They are extremely close. I always felt that if my ex had to choose between saving me or one of her sisters, she'd choose the sister. (This never bothered me because I don't need saving. It just was a fact of life.)
    So it surprised me when she pointed out an apartment complex in town and said "I lived there one summer. It was the year that Marion (one of her sisters) and I were living together in a house, and while I absolutely love her, I had to get away from her for a while."

    "Why was that?", I asked.

    "She didn't have a job but she did have a long distance (Navy) boyfriend, and she'd accept collect calls from him and spend hours on the phone."

    "And the phone was in your name?"

    "Yes."

    "And she didn't try to pay you back for the calls?"

    "No."

    Marion is IEI.

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    there's this idea that IEI SLI get along better than most super-egos, but I'd bet money its more likely the case when that happens the parties are some version of kindred, whether IxI or SxI. its also possible theyre just wildly mistyped but the idea is popular enough that I think its more than random. by this I mean wild mistypes being the root cause could transform any ITR into any description, but this one seems to have more traction than random general mistakes

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    I get along with my superego well. Wildly different skills and opinions, but we cool as shit.

    Between my old step brother and my friend, I've gotten into 1 argument total over about 20 years.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    I'm fairly close to an ISTp brother/INFp sister pair, both in their 30s. They hardly ever talk to each other. The brother still doesn't forgive her lying, manipulative ways during teenage years and says that he would never trust her; she thinks that he's socially retarded and talks of him with polite distain. However, down deep, they're so much alike that I would apply to them the expression "same thing only different"; they both want to be perceived as winners at what they do and they have the same basic humour, ethics, laissez-faire nature and siege mentality. She's obsessive about cross-fit and sculpting her body while he's obsessive about his technical job; they both take things too personally and have thin skins. The only real difference that I see is that for her, image and acceptance is the most important thing in life whereas for him it's all about success and fairness; she comes across as pleasantly unreadable and somewhat shallow or limited while he can also show a rather limited view in a brutally honest and sometimes confrontational manner. They each live in their own castles and throw stones over their walls but on the rare occasions when they're together, they seem to synchronize and become one - communicate effortlessly without any sign of conflict.....
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    The usual pattern is detached looking appreciation from both ends. Not very wise to extend it too close. Both usually see the disadvantages of their own creative/PoLR and how the other end handled those issues better. That is about it IMO.
    extrospection > introspection

    Head type as in being truly head type and probably 7>5. Too divergent, scattered and expressive for typical 5 and that is the preferred way although long term focus usually helps.

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